To Initiate

Regulus

Darien sat with his fiancé, a decisively grumpy look under his carefully laid mask. I almost snorted as I walked over to the couple, seeing the ignorant Flint girl positively maddening her ice prince sweetheart. Irvine looked up as I came close and I fancied I saw relief. Luciana snapped her lip-sticked-lips together, curling them into a light sneer – one that was meant for a near equal, not quite disrespectful but still aware that I was at a disadvantage compared to her. I ignore her.

"Irvine, we have plans" I said in my pureblood superior voice.

The other boy sneered and nodded in acceptance before turning to the black haired girl next to him.

"Luciana dear?" he asked smoothly and the girls eyes glinted, charmed.

"Yes love?" she said sappily.

"Would you be a treasure and find me Miss Meliflua?" he asked, pushing a strand of her coarse hair out of her eyes which misted over.

"Meliflua? The fifth year?" she asked and he nodded "Okay then, anything for love"

She walked away after pecking his cheek.

We watched her walk away and I lifted an eyebrow deftly at Irvine.

"Don't you dare" He said, he face slumping into exhaustion.

"Wasn't doing to do anything" I said silkily.

He rolled he eyes.

I paused, waiting to ask the question that had been gnawing at my brain all evening.

"...Are you certain that he drank the potion...?" I asked quietly and Irvine glanced at me coldly.

"Yes. I'm certain and before you ask, yes, everything else is ready" he said in annoyance.

"Just checking..." I said, becoming quite as I saw Flint and Meliflua walking towards us.

The younger girl, a small blond girl with blue eyes, looked slightly nervous as she approached our table and I noticed many Slytherins watching curiously. Luciana bent down and kissed Darien slowly in view of everyone, placing her claim, before sneering at the blond and strutting away.

Meliflua watched the girl walk away (with plenty of hip) then turned back to us and slowly walked forward.

"You wanted to see me...?" she asked and Irvine smiled thinly.

"Yes, sit down Caitlin" Darien said coolly and the girl flushed at the use of her first name "we'd like to talk to you about a certain Gryffindor you've been meeting up with... right under our noses" He said with a knowing smirk as the Slytherin girl paled.

"What do you want to know Lord Irvine, Mr. Black?" she asked, lowering herself slowly into the seat.

"What we want to know" I said and she turned to me "is just how much this rat of yours is willing to... cooperate"

The girl, innocent as the Slytherin she was, smirked slowly.

Lara

I woke suddenly as a sudden panic came to the mind of Alex. Sitting up in my bed I looked around the half formed darkness of our room. Alex was filled with a sick sensation and a dizziness that overruled every other emotion. He rushed away from bed and fell when he reached the bathroom. I swung my legs over the side of my own bed.

Alex? What's wrong? I called to him but he didn't acknowledge me as vile acidic liquid dominated his thoughts.

I pushed away and stumbled down the stairs of the girl's tower. It was cold and dawn had not come yet, nor had the elves lit the fire in the grey common room. Alex had stopped puking now and was rested in Sirius' arms.

Who's this? I heard him think and I paused at the foot of the stairs.

"S...Siri...? Is that you?"

... Why didn't he hear Sirius?

"Yeah Al... it's me. We need to get you to the Hospital wing... you probably ate something..." Sirius said, though he voice was clouded to Alex.

Alex? I called. Nothing. Alex, can you hear me?

His thoughts so open to me, made no suggestion to hearing me or my mind, there was no unconscious remarks, no... Nothing. Just a pounding headache.

I felt my heart skid to a halt and my mouth popped open. No. No way. I ran up the stairs, taking two at a time and opened the door I felt Sirius and my brother in.

Alex? I practically shouted mentally at him but he didn't even look up or twitch.

"Alex?" I said out loud and my brother, who always knew where I was, always knew my thoughts so well he was basically a part of them, jumped in shock.

"L-L-Lara?" he said, his eyes connecting to mine.

I felt his thoughts, fear thrumming through him, and I felt the emptiness he found in my gaze. He was searching desperately around the pain in his head for me. It was silent in there.

I ran to him my face contorted in pain as I grasped his face in my hands.

She really is here! Why can't I hear her? What's happening! Where is she? My sister! Where am I?

"Oh Merlin Alex. Oh Godric" I groaned as utter fear filled his thoughts and thus infected mine.

Alex? Alex! I screamed mentally.

"Sis- Sister? Why?" he stuttered "Why c-cant I hear you? Why... Wh-why can't I he-hear anything?"

"It's okay Alex, I'm right here, we're going to get this sorted, just you see, we'll get this sorted"

Sirius

I watched nervously as Poppy fussed around Alex, my own hands desperate to reach for the boy who still had that look of fear in his eyes and hunched shoulders. It had taken the help of both me and James to get him down to the hospital wing and he has passed out several times on route. Lara had her 'this is my brother, failure isn't an option' look like the one she'd had when Al was hit by that spell.

Poppy was frowning, looking between the two siblings with a twitch appearing under her eye.

"The effects are already fading. He'll be fine and should regain thought connection with you in a week at the most" she said promptly, shoving a phial into Lara's hand "a standard dose of this every morning should help, both the dizziness and mental recovery"

Lara nodded weakly and passed the potions into my hands. I looked down at them, feeling the crisp cold glass in my calloused fingers and clenched my jaw. I hated medicine, I hated that my fiancé would have to take it and I hated that unnatural blue and green that was so alike to the calming potions.

Suddenly I heard a sob and I looked up to see Lara pressing the ball of her hands into her eyes and her lips trembling. Alex had fallen asleep shortly after Poppy had finished with him and I paced forward to pull the silver haired girl into my arms. She pushed her face into my shoulder and after a while her sobs calmed slightly.

"S-Sorry, just b-b-being sil-l-ly" she stuttered , palming her face and looking away, her eyes resting on the oblivious form of the boy who was so important to both of us.

"I don't know what I would be if he were to..." she gulped "I'm hardly me without him..."

Her forehead wrinkled and she looked at me in confusion.

"It's odd... I wasn't like this when he was dying..."

I shrug.

"There wasn't much time to think about that sort of thing" I said, helplessly.

She nodded, looking back at her twin. We were silent for a time, the distant sound of Poppy bustling around our only soundscape. The sun began to filter in through the high windows of the infirmary and I felt a cold hand reach for mine.

"Sirius?" she whispered and I squeezed her hand "If I ever... if I die, you should know that Alex won't be the same – not just emotionally – but literally, personality wise. If that were to happen-"

"-Which it won't" I cut in and she glanced at me sadly.

"Shush, let me finish." She took in a deep in breath "If that were to happen you have to promise me to help him re-build himself and not to... abandon him, if he seems different. Promise me that"

I looked at my soon to be sister-in-law and felt brief hurt that she thought I would abandon the man I loved. Seeing her face, however, I stilled that thought. She looked so desperate, so confused and so dead serious. There was something in her eyes that looked foreboding.

I nodded slowly.

"I promise"

Darien

Above the sun was shining and everywhere the students were talking rapidly and in excitement. Smiles lit faces and people rushed around saying an early farewell to the people they wouldn't be travelling with on the train. They were stupid.

They had been shielded in this school, sure, they had been receiving the mail and news of the world came to them, through filters. They didn't understand, they didn't get what their families had been going through this year. The Dark Lord's servants had been busy in the world. We had been busy.

The resistance had been falling fast and heavy; the legend of the Order of the Phoenix had been sneered at and stamped on. Pesky Gryffindors. Plans were falling into place and yet all these naive kids were laughing and grinning at the prospect of going home. Idiots.

Not everyone was laughing.

A group I knew well were slowly weaving through the crowds, close together and protective.

Potter and the mudblood Evens were walking close together, both supporting nervous looks. Black was frowning deeply, supporting his fiancé, his boyfriend, his Ally. I felt the familiar coldness creep into my heart when I saw the scared and helpless look on Alex's face. Lara was next to him, Lupin close to her side, clinging to his hand with a determined face. The scar across her face, that cursed concave red mark, that disappeared beneath her blouse. It slapped me, as ever, seeing my lifelong friend (now enemy) marked like that. Those damn Grey twin again.

Dammit!

I told myself this wouldn't happen again, I told myself after the last time, the Christmas time. My oldest friends, the boy I loved and the girl who was my sister. But no. I had done it again.

What the hell was wrong with me?

Would I ever escape this guilt?

Remus

We sat in our compartment in relative quiet. Alex was snoozing on Sirius who was talking quietly with James about the coming summer. Lily, Alice and Frank were discussing Frank's imminent Auror training and his NEWT exams. Peter was taking tapping his wand against this new book he'd got from someone, looking tired, his eyes darting around the compartment. Lara was quiet and Alex's tired state was drawing her into fogginess. I sat with her on one of the seats with her leant up against me in a snooze.

Suddenly Lara sat up and blinked several times. She looked confused for a moment, glancing at her brother but then shook herself.

"Lara? You alright?" I asked and Alex looked up, painful confusion on his face.

She looked at me and blinked, before nodding.

"Yeah, I've just to use the toilet" She said getting to her feet.

I frowned and gave her hand a squeeze.

"Okay, don't be too long, we'll be getting to the station soon" I said and she nodded before leaving the compartment.

Peter

I watched as Larissa left the compartment and nobody noticed the haziness in her eyes. Why would they when she had been drowsy because of her blasted brother all morning? I resisted the smirk as the door of the compartment slammed shut and Alex jumped from the loud noise. I tucked the book Caitlin had given me into my bag, my wand slipping back into my pocket.

It had only been a small thing, I told myself, only a little thing. What harm could be reached by it? Caitlin had said it was for the greater good, just a tiny thing. Besides, those twins needed a bit of a shock if you asked me.

"Just get her to go to the toilet"

And just imagine what that simple thing will do for my name. I may get noticed for once by people who actually appreciate my abilities. I may be able to break out of this little circle and make a name for myself.

"You'll be rewarded Peter, just imagine the benefits!"

Caitlin understood - she knew what it was like to want just a little more. Want a bit more influence, a bit more power. I could help us both become something more than we are now.

It had only been a little thing really.

Regulus

"Are you ready?"

"Yes, perfectly"

"Have you got everything?"

"I don't need anything Black, stop fretting"

"Alright, alright... I guess I'll see you in a bit then"

"Yes, I guess you will"

"I'll be fine"

"I know"

"So we'll just take the portkey and then-"

"Regulus. Stop. It's working okay?"

"... I know. That's the problem"

"Welcome to my life"

"... Yeah... good luck Darien"

"... And you."

Alex

I pressed my face into Sirius' shoulder when Lara had left, desperate for a little comfort.

Merlin, I was so pathetic.

A single morning of being disconnected to my sister and I was a quivering mess.

The emptiness of the world was personified by her thoughtless mind though and it stung me as I saw her sitting across from me, so normal yet so wrong.

I just felt so vulnerable and like half of me, my personality, had been barred from me. It was like I was blind, everybody who had been so clear to me were just faces, and the double perspective I had grown up with my whole life was now limited to just one. It's not like had never been away from her, or vice versa, but it was different now... I had to learn how to see again. How stupid was that? This is what every normal person feels like, this quiet, this solitude.

I couldn't figure out if I should pity them or envy them.

It was so quiet in my own thoughts. I couldn't hear Lara or anybody around me. It was just me, me, Alex Cassius Grey, my voice, my thoughts. It was cold. It was slow and dark and lonely. My own thoughts seemed to have lost their speed and I was uncertain in this new view of the world. What was Sirius feeling? Was he sad, annoyed, was he getting fed up of my weakness? No. This was Sirius, my fiancé for Merlin sake! But what about James? Or Lily? Or Peter? Was Peter sitting their stewing over the fact I couldn't hear him? What if something happened to one of us? How would I know?

Lara! Where was Lara? What if someone attacked her when she went to the bathroom? What if father had sent someone to get her?

I sat up, my teeth gnawing at my lip, I stared at the door.

What if somebody got to her? She was tired too, she must be, from my own exhaustion and someone could use that to their advantage! What if!

Five minutes passed and then ten and I began to get more and more agitated. Sirius rubbed circles into my back and I nearly got up then and there. Where was she? What was going on? Remus too was getting nervous; I could see it from his face.

Then Lara came in finally and I sighed dramatically and smiled at her ruefully. She smiled nervously back and reached out a hesitant hand for me to grasp. She seemed so shy all of a sudden and it nearly made me laugh.

"Sorry... ran into a friend" she said with a lopsided smile.

I nodded and something tingled at the back of my thoughts...

Something was up...?

Lara went over and sat next to Remus, she looked better now, more... herself? Less tense and exhausted and scared yet she sat stiffly and her smile was forced when she looked at Remus. Her boyfriend frowned and rubbed her back, drawing her close and kissing her brow.

"You better now?" He asked and she nodded.

"Yes" she said quietly and her eyes met mine across the compartment.

They lingered on mine and they were bright, sharper than normal. Her gaze was intense, pained but guiltily so I thought. I cocked my head at her, sending a mental question I knew she'd hear.

Why are you guilty? It's not your fault.

She shrugged lightly and her hand reached up awkwardly to twist some hair, though the gesture looked off.

Andromeda

I straightened my back and flattened a wrinkle in my dress as I saw the train approaching in the distance. It was so very strange to be back here, waiting for the train to come to me, surrounded by parents and siblings. I hadn't expected this so soon, in seven years, yes, when Nymphadora grew to be that age but not now. I had been surprised when the headmaster had contacted me concerning my two cousins from my mother's side. I hadn't even known they had joined Hogwarts with my other two cousins. I hadn't seen my younger relatives in many years and had not realised, being so disconnected from the pureblood society, that they'd had so much trouble from their father. I had always know that they were more like myself in terms of allegiance, much like Sirius, but like everything the mask came first and I had only hints.

Now it seems they were under serious threat from their family for turning blood traitor.

Uncle Alexander did always seem a little unstable.

The train pulled up with a plume of steam that obscured everything and the noise of excited teenagers swallowed me up in a cacophony of noise. I peered through the white like all the other people around me and soon the sounds of greeting and joy were swirling around me. I kept my eyes open for the two silver heads of my cousins, unnecessary nervousness beginning to creep into my heart.

Then, with disorientating suddenness they were both there before me. They weren't the only recognisable faces either.

"Alex, Lara, Sirius!" I called with a smile and the three grinned at me.

"Hey Cousin Andy" the three of them chimed and the others around them laughed.

My eyes first settled on Lara and I gasped as I saw the scar crossing across her face. My blood boiled at the sight of it and I cursed my Aunt's husband with what could only be named as Slytherin brutality. Despite this she had grown into a beautiful girl, her long silver hair falling around her slim figure delicately and her wide grey eyes sparkling. She stood close to another boy with blond hair and he looked at her gently. I recognised him as being one of Sirius' friends. She looked nervous now and I saw her hand clenching in her brothers. It was so odd to see the girl nervous, she was hardly ever nervous even in the pureblood inquisition, but just as I thought this she broke into a gentle grin.

My gaze then settled on my male cousins and my brow quirked up at the sight of them. Sirius was standing close to Alex, his arm wrapped around the taller boy's waist. They were leaning close to one other and as my eyes flicked between them curiously I saw Sirius' cheeks heat up. What confused me was the way he seemed to be holding the boy up and how timid my Grey cousin was acting.

Behind them two others were standing, a messy haired boy – James Potter - and a red head girl. They were standing close and talking but I paid them little mind.

I walked closer the little group and Lara walked forward and gave me a small hug. She smiled at me and then turned back to latch onto Alex's hand. Sirius watched the two sadly then turned to me.

"Al temporarily lost his Legilimency this morning" he said, indicating the twins and my eyes widened.

"Ah, I see" I said, looking between the two in understanding.

It must be hard for the two mind readers to deal with silence – especially between them. No wonder Lara was so shy... though she did seem different in other ways too, ones I hadn't quite figured out yet...

"You'll both have to take my arm so you get to the right place" I said, becoming practical.

They nodded and turned to their partners next to them. Lara leant into the embrace of Lupin, her eyes wide and taking in his face, she muttered something I didn't hear and he pressed a kiss to her forehead, also with a quick word. Alex turned to Sirius and the two shared a look and – here I blinked in shock and looked away – a quick but passionate kiss.

Well.

Alex Grey and Sirius Black. My, my... who'd have thought my obviously gay cousin would be able to bend my equally heterosexual cousin? No me for sure... this was going to be interesting.

No wonder Alexander burst the dam.

Then the twins and I were walking to the apparition point, calling out farewells to their boyfriends, and they grasped my arms. The three of us twisted on the spot while I thought of my lovely cottage where Ted and Nymphadora were waiting.

Alex

We landed just outside a small garden which held a small house, a cottage with white painted brick. It was thatched and beautiful, the window frames and door were all painted blue and the garden was full of flowers. There was a small apple tree close to the gate and it was laden with ripe red and yellow fruit from its spindly arms. Around was a vast expanse of fields and hills and I saw a small river winding nearby.

I looked at Lara and saw her smiling sadly. I frowned but she didn't look at me, I wondered why she ignored my stare.

Andy dusted herself down and smiled at us, the last of her pureblood facade dropping away at the familiar territory. I could see plainly that she was completely content at the view of her home and much relived to be back.

"Welcome to my home" she said and I smiled back at her.

"We'll be right in" Lara said to my surprise "you go on ahead"

Andy looked at her curiously and Lara met the stare head on.

"Alright..." Andromeda said slowly "Just don't be too long, dinner won't take long to make"

I watched, open jawed, as our cousin strode away and I turned to Lara in confusion.

"Are you okay Lara?" I demanded, angry again at not being able to hear her.

She looked out over the hills then back at me. She studied my face and squirmed. What was going on?

"Alex..." she said slowly, she took a step back "I'm very sorry you know?"

Sorry about what! I projected but she made no mention of hearing me. I waited a moment but she just stared at me with a sad face.

"What are you talking about?" I said in frustration, I stepped closer to her but my head swayed and I clung to the fence as my headache drummed on.

"Lara?" I called but here was no reply.

I felt her step closer to me and press a kiss to my sweaty brow.

The cold wind bit into my skin and I shivered, feeling the warmth of my sister sooth the front of me but making the rest trembled with cold.

"It's all my fault, again, I really am so, so very sorry Ally" was the whisper I heard in my ear, harsh but still Lara's voice, before she stepped away.

There was a loud pop and she was gone. Gone.

Gone?

Disapparited.

Disapparited?

I fell to my knees and I barely felt the gravel dig into my skin as I stared at the place my sister had been. One word drilled through my head and confusion was null as the importance, the realisation, of that word came startlingly into perspective.

A word nobody used. Nobody but one.

Ally.

*Chuckle* you all hate me don't you?