Here is chapter 2. I know this story seems sad but it will get better eventually. I hope you like it so far.

I own nothing!

I don't remember the ride home. Before I realized it, I had parked my truck and made my way up to my room. I got my shoes off and that was about all I was able to function doing. I crawled into my bed and brought my legs up to my chest. I wrapped my arms around my knees and curled into a ball. That is when the hysterics started. The tears kept flowing and the shaking was violent at times. I am not sure how long it was until sleep consumed me.

I slept restlessly. My dreams were strange. Just flashes of Jacob and Edwards face. The words they spoke to me telling me they didn't want me anymore. Every time I could feel my heart break into a million pieces. I would wake myself up sobbing and shaking uncontrollably all over again. At one point in the night I woke up sweating profusely. My stomach lurched and I barely made it to the bathroom to vomit violently. I don't know how long I had stayed in there, I would start heaving all over again anytime my thoughts wondered to Jacob or Edward.

At some point early in the morning, Charlie came home to find my curled in a ball lying on the bathroom floor.

"Bella, what's wrong, are you sick or something?"

All I could do was nod. I got up and went back to my bedroom crawling back into my bed and curling into a ball. Charlie had left me alone to rest. I laid there staring blankly at a small box wrapped in blue wrapping paper that was placed on my pillow. I jumped out of bed practically killing my self getting tangled in the blankets. I landed on the floor with a hard thud. I half expected Charlie to come running in to see what happened, but I could still hear him snoring in his room. When Charlie worked nights, he was out to the world for the rest of the day when he got home.

What in the hell is that and how did it get there? How long had it been there? I tried to think all the way back to when I got home last night, but I didn't turn my bed room light on so I don't know if it had been there the whole time.

I slowly walked towards the small box. There was a small piece of paper laying underneath it. My hands were shaking as I reached out and picked up the box looking at it. It was the gift that Jacob had been carrying when he got the beach.

I wasn't sure what I expected from it. It felt like a ticking time bomb in my hands. I put it back down on the bed and picked up the piece of paper, taking a deep breath, not really sure if I wanted to open it and read it. Hadn't I been hurt enough for one life time? Could I really take any more? I really didn't think I could. But at this point I had already lost everything that meant anything to me. What else could I lose?

I opened the note and took in the messy squall. It was defiantly Jakes hand writing.

Bella,

I want you to have this. I will always love you. Please forgive me. I need to be in your life.

Your Jake

I snorted at the thought of being able to deal with having Jacob in my life. Watching him be all happy and lovely with the love of his life, while I sit back being his BFF. I don't think that was going to be happening any time soon. My heart felt cold and I was full of spite. I tried to push away what I was feeling. Trying to hide this new evil side I felt, but I couldn't. My heart was cold and broken.

I crinkled the note into a ball and threw it in the trash. I felt like burning it too, but I didn't want to make Charlie aware that something was wrong, I wasn't ready for Charlie to know what had happened with Jake and I. He would see the emotional state I was in and panic.

Flash backs of the weeks that followed Edward leaving quickly drifted into my head. Charlie tried to send me to Renee's, but I refused to go. I am sure this time he would do everything he could to push me off on Renee.

Renee was the last person I wanted to go to. She was relentless in grilling me for information I really didn't want to discuss. She would push and push not leaving me alone until I told her everything, this wasn't something I was going to be able to talk about. Ever.

All I really wanted to do was crawl into a whole and die. I didn't want to live this life any more, it hurt too much. I lost everything I had ever loved. For the first time ever in my life, I considered the unspeakable. I didn't want to live this life any more, not without Edward, not without Jacob. I should have done it two years ago, I would have saved my self a lot of heart ache and pain, along with every one else I hurt in the process.

I knew that suicide was the only answer. The pain I felt was crushing me to a point that if I didn't get rid of it soon, I would snap even more. I couldn't bring anyone else down with me, I couldn't hurt anyone else. This was it for me, the end of my road. I felt comfort in the fact that soon I wouldn't have this piercing pain ripping me open.

Edward didn't want me, he told me he didn't. He had other distractions he wanted to pursue. I wonder if he ever really loved me. I doubt it. If he had, he would not have been able to leave me the way he did. Alone and broken on the forest floor .

I must have just been another pet for the rest of the Cullen's too, otherwise, how could they just abandon me, even if Edward didn't want me anymore. Alice was supposed to be my best friend and I didn't even get so much as a goodbye, not even one phone call to see how I was doing. So they certainty wouldn't miss me when I was gone.

Jacob had imprinted, he found his soul mate. He was going to have his happily ever after, even if he did love me before, now that he had Savannah, I am sure that love was gone. Look at how Sam treats Leah. I wasn't going to do that to Jacob. I wasn't going to be the clingy ex-girlfriend that is going to hang around torturing my self hoping one day he would take me back, I knew that would never happen.

Thinking about Jake brought me back to the gift he had left me sitting on the bed. I contemplated opening, but I figured I didn't have that much longer to endure the pain. I reached down to pick up the small square box. I quickly unwrapped the blue paper revealing a black velvet ring case.

Oh you have got to be kidding me! Did he think he could have Savannah and still have me too. What, like we were supposed to share him? I get him on the weekends?

I opened up the box slowly. Inside was a platinum band with a single diamond the was set into the band. I noticed on the inside of the band was an inscription.

Your Jacob~ Your Sun~ Forever.

That did it, I started all over again. I sank to the floor and curled my self into a ball, tears over whelming my eyes till I just closed them. I didn't want to think, I didn't want to feel. I had decided that I no longer could deal with the pain, so I would end it.

********

When I finally woke up, I was still clutching the ring Jacob had given me, but I was on my bed. I wasn't sure how I got there. I rolled over and looked at my clock, it was midnight. I couldn't believe I had slept all day and well into the night. I guess it was just my minds natural defense mechanism.

I looked at the ring Jake had given me. It was so beautiful. I wouldn't dare put it on, but I just stared at it. The hole in my chest throbbed, I tried to ignore it knowing the pain would be gone soon, but it began to consume me. I knew I wouldn't last much longer. I clutched the ring in my hand and pulled my legs to my chest and wrapped my arms around them.

My mind started to wonder to how I was going to end the pain. I knew for sure that I had to do it as soon as I could, I would wait till my dad left for work, I didn't want to have to try to explain anything to him. I didn't want to have to look him in the eye. I knew that would hurt too much and I might chicken out. I would write him a letter to explain why, I couldn't leave him with out any answers., I owed him that at least.

I had thought about using one of Charlie's many guns he kept around the house. Charlie never felt the need to hide his bullets from me, I don't think he even felt he needed to when Edward left. I really didn't want Charlie to come home to find me like that, just a bloody corpse. I couldn't imagine the mess it would leave either and I didn't want him to have to try and clean it up.

I thought about hanging my self, but again, I didn't want Charlie to find me hanging from a noose in my room. Slitting my wrists seemed like too much work and I probably wouldn't do it right. Charlie would find out and I would just end up in a mental hospital.

I was considering jumping from one of the high cliffs down in La Push. It probably would do the job, but then I remember the story about how Esme tried to kill her self after jumping off a cliff after her baby had died. She got lucky and was turned into a vampire to live an existence with her true love. That just depressed me more cause I knew that wouldn't happen and I would more than likely just end up in a hospital paralyzed or something.

That thought however reminded me of one of my more recent trips to the E.R. I had fallen off my motorcycle for the hundredth time and ended up spraining my ankle and wrist pretty bad. I had some pretty extensive bruising as well. The Dr. had given me a bottle of Vicodin that I never used, I was never one to take more than a Tylenol for pain.

Overdosing on Vicodin seemed the best way to go about my death. I wanted to really make sure I did a thorough job so I would also steal Charlie's vodka he kept for those tough days at work. He would come home and pout a shot in his beer. He didn't know that I knew he did that and I never said anything. I would take the vodka with the Vicodin. Surly that would do the trick.

Now that I knew what I would do, I needed to figure out where to do it. I thought it through, but in my heart I knew exactly where I wanted to end my life. I would do it at mine and Edward's meadow. I knew I wanted Edward to be the last person I wanted to think about and see in my mind before I died. The meadow would be perfect.

I knew how to get there from when Jake and I first started hanging out, I had him help me find it. We hiked plotting our course on a map. After Jake had become a werewolf and before I even I knew he was one, I had hiked out there by myself trying to find it. To my surprise I came across it with out too much trouble, unfortunately while I was there, I had a visit from an old friend, Laurent. He said it was better that he found me rather than Victoria cause she was put out with me because Edward had killed her mate James, when James had tried to kill me. She wanted revenge, mate for mate. How silly that sounds considering Edward and I were no longer together. Laurent however was thirsty and at the time I was the food of choice.

Lucky for me, the werewolves came just in time and killed Laurent. I was afraid for awhile that Victoria would come after me and seek her revenge, time passed and there was never any sign she was in the area. The wolves figured she was scared of them, I didn't care as long as she stayed away.

The hours passed and soon the gray sky started to get lighter. I heard Charlie get up and I decided I would pretend to be asleep. I knew after finding me yesterday in the bathroom sick that he would check in on me. I was correct and a few minutes later he opened my door and peeked in on me, I just laid there with my eyes closed. He left me alone to go get ready for work, I decided now would be a good time to write him my goodbye letter.

I got up and pulled a piece of paper from my desk and settled in the chair to start writing.

Dad,

I don't know where to begin or what to say. I just want you to know that I love you, asked for. Please be happy! This has nothing to do with anything you did and there was nothing you could have done to prevent this, the pain is just too deep.

Tell mom I love her, I will miss you both. I am sorry I have to do this to you, but hopefully now you can both live your lives without my interference.

Tell Jake I love him and I am sorry too.

Always,

Bella

P.S. If Edward ever comes back looking for me. Please tell him I love him more than anything in this world. I just can't live without him anymore. Not with Jake have been the best dad I could have ever

I folded the paper and left it on my desk for the time. I planned on putting it on the kitchen table before I left. I decided to take a shower and change my clothes. I knew it seemed pointless but it was something I felt I needed to do.

As I was getting dressed I heard my dad leave the house and the police cruiser drive away. I went into the bathroom to grab the pills from the medicine cabinet. I was shaking and my heart was pounding in my chest, I was honestly surprised it could beat at all with all the pain it felt.

I grabbed the note for my dad from my bedroom and headed down stairs. I took one look around with a sigh and silently said goodbye to what had been my home the past 4 years. I grabbed the bottle of vodka from one of the higher cabinets in the kitchen that wasn't used very often. I was taking a backpack with me just to carry the vodka and the pills. Jakes ring was in my pocket, I put the note on the table in the spot Charlie normally sat and headed out the door, never to see my house again.