Leyton, the Most Awesomely Epic Love Story in the History of Epicness - Part 1

S1: The Beginning of EPIC

Lucas: *walks*
Peyton: *drives*
Lucas: *bounces ball while walking*
Peyton: *rocks out while driving*
Lucas: *jaywalks*
Peyton: *reaches back for a CD while driving*

DMV Spokesperson: *glares at Mark*

Mark: What? Geico is a sponsor! Why else do we have a major car crash per season?

(SCREECH.)

Lucas: Holy crap.
Peyton: wtf
Lucas: Um..
Peyton: Seriously?
Lucas: ...
Peyton: HOW DARE YOU WALK WHERE I AM DRIVING!?!
Lucas: Sorry?
Peyton: Well? MOVE DAMMIT.
Lucas: Ok, ok. Sheesh.

Mark: Love in it's purest form.

Rivercourt - Lucas blows his first game

Lucas: You know, I shoot the ball and it goes in. I don't ask questions, I don't think about it. It's just the way it is.
Peyton: How did that work out for you?
Lucas: Clearly, you've come to cheer me up.
Peyton: So the entire school, most of your friends and half the town saw you blow it tonight.
Lucas: Yeah.
Peyton: Sucks to be you doesn't it?
Lucas: Thanks for the kind words.

It's Just Brooke's World and They Are Living In It

Peyton: Anyway, I heard you were naked in whatshisface's car.
Brooke: No. I was partially naked. At one point I had mittens on 'cause it was cold.

(One of Brooke's Best Lines Ever)

Deb and Dan's Rockin Basketball Bash

Mark: Plot device. Plot device. I got it! Truth or Dare!

Brooke: I dare you to make out with Peyton.
Lucas: Score!

Lucas: I've wanted this for so long.
Peyton: Me too. And now we can have it.
Lucas: No, no, no. I don't mean just that. I want this.

(He puts his hand over her heart)

Lucas: You know? I want to be here. I want to have everything with you. I want it all. I want us, Peyton.
Peyton: o_O ?
Lucas: Did I say something wrong?

(Commitment Alarms Have Been Activated)

Peyton: What. The. Hell.
Lucas: *squints sadly*
Peyton: Dude, are you insane? I was just in it for the sex man! Talking about feelings and shit. Why couldn't you be a normal seventeen year old boy with an insatiable sex drive? But nnnnoooooo, you had to go and make things so COMPLICATED.

Avril Lavigne: Why do you have to go and make things so complicaaaattted? I see the way you're..
Peyton: Shut it, mainstream whore.

Avril Lavigne: o_o

Red Room of Records

(Peyton is moodily drawing in her room)

Brooke: You know what you need?
Peyton: An art pencil shoved into my skull?
Brooke: P. Sawyer, what did I say about the depressing thoughts and dark, twisted drawings?
Peyton: Something cheery I'm sure.
Brooke: Anyway, what you need is uncomplicated sex.
Peyton: From you?

Mark: *drool*

Brooke: Maybe another day.. I'm talking about uncomplicated sex from hot college guys. Party tonight. You're coming with me.
Peyton: I don't think so.
Brooke: Oh come on, what's the worst that can happen?

A Day Later

Brooke: Ok so maybe that party wasn't the best idea.
Peyton: orly.
Brooke: But on the bright side, I got to bond with Broody!
Peyton: I'm glad you took the time to work on your love life while I was unconscious.
Brooke: It's called multi-tasking. I wouldn't have done it if you were dying.
Peyton: Yeah, that would have been awkward, me taking my last breaths while you were getting your groove on.
Brooke: Totally. I made sure you had a pulse and then talked with Broody. I put you first. You are so blessed to have such a selfless friend like me.
Peyton: What if I stopped breathing while you were talking to him?
Brooke: Well then you would have rudely interrupted our conversation, P. Sawyer.
Peyton: Hm.

On the Streets of Tree Hill

Lucas: I have a problem. I kinda like Brooke.
Haley: I thought you were into Peyton? Are you like a gigolo or something?
Lucas: Haley, I'm not the bad guy here, ok? Peyton's just too... hard.
Haley: Unlike Brooke, who I understand is nice and easy. Very easy. Easy Mac easy.
Lucas: Excuse me! She makes me laugh. She's honest. She's not afraid to be herself, ok? Plus, she's not covered head to toe in issues.
Haley: I hope you have ass insurance.
Lucas: What? Why?
Haley: Because liking two best friends is going to bite you in the ass. Don't get mad when I say I told you so.

Red Room of Records

(Peyton has an epiphany)

Peyton: Maybe I do need complicated sex.

Squinty's House

Peyton: Lucas, I made a mistake. When you said you wanted to be with me, I got, I got scared and I pushed you away, but the truth is, I want all the same things that you want, I do. And I want them with you.
Lucas: *squints happily*

(Brooke saunters out in Squinty's sweatshirt)

Lucas: *squints depressingly*
Brooke: Peyton? Whatcha doin here, best friend?
Peyton: *looks at Lucas, silence*
Brooke: Broody?
Lucas: *looks at Peyton, silence*
Brooke: I so want in on the staring contest! I can definitely last longer than you two!
Peyton: Maybe another time Brooke.
Lucas: Peyton... *pouts*
Peyton: I have to go wallow in my own self-pity dammit.
Brooke: Oh okay. See ya later P Sawyer.

Next Day

Brooke: You wanna hear about my wild night with Broody?
Peyton: See this pencil? I'm going to place the tip of it in arsenic. Then I'm going to shove it slowly down my ear canal and hope my death is quick.
Brooke: Do you like need to see Dr. Phil or something P?

Laley

Lucas: So Peyton came over last night.
Haley: Aren't you dating Brooke now?
Lucas: Sorta..
Haley: .....
Lucas: Peyton bared her soul to me and now I'm emotionally conflicted. I don't know if I made the right choice.
Haley: I-D-I-O-T.
Lucas: Idoit? What's an idoit?
Haley: *facepalm*
Lucas: Oh. OH. Sorry.

Breyton is Kinda Complicated

Brooke: I am so jealous of your relationship with Lucas.
Peyton: Emotional connections are overrated, B. Davis.
Brooke: I mean all we have is.. you know.. the benefits part.
Peyton: Isn't that all you need?
Brooke: Usually, but I actually like him.
Peyton: Like, like him, like him?
Brooke: Like, love him, like him.
Peyton: ..... dammit.

Mark's Office

Mark: So I need to break up Brucas now. But it has to be done delicately.. I need a plot point...

On the Seven Seas

Larry: *is tanning on his dredging boat*

Mark's Office

Mark: .... *evil grin*

Sawyer House

Peyton: They found a body.
Brucas: ohno
Peyton: They think it's my dad.
Brucas: ohno
Peyton: I have to go ID the body now. *sniffles and slowly makes way to door... alone*

Mark: Hello!? I don't pay you people to forget your lines!

Brooke: Whoops! Goldilocks, you can barely drive when you aren'tgrieving. Maybe I should come with? Be a supportive bestie and all?

(Silence)

Mark: *taps foot and glares at Lucas*
Lucas: What? They've been best friends forever, Brooke should go.
Mark: *heavy sigh* I don't have time for your LOGIC.

Seedy Motel

Leyton: *cheat cheat cheat*

Brucasers: OMG WHAT THE HELL MARK!? WHY WHY WHY WHY!
Mark: *whistles* Blame Peyton. I had nothing to do with it.
Brucasers: Except for the part where you totally wrote that scene in!?
Mark: Uh..
Brucasers: *grab pitchforks*
Mark: Crap.

The EPIC Confrontation

Brooke: So let me get this straight. You used me as a rebound?
Lucas: Yes?
Brooke: Because you weren't over her. *points to Peyton* My ex-best friend?
Lucas: Yes?
Brooke: And you used me anyway.
Lucas: It's not as bad as it sounds.
Brooke: And then you cheated on me, with said ex-best friend.
Lucas: Yes.

(Brooke kicks Lucas in the groin and looks at Peyton)

Brooke: I'd totally kick you in the ovaries if I could.
Peyton: *bugged eyed*
Brooke: You two are out of my life forever!

And this lasts.. Oh about seven episodes.

Season 2: The Leyton Interlude

Season 2: *is not epic*

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Brucasers/Jeytoners: Oh happy day..
Leytoners: This is an epic pile of suck.