Chapter XL:

"Out Of Mind"

Summer was on its way, which was one good thing she supposed. Although in this part of the world summer usually meant epic rainstorms with blistering sunny intervals. Today though it was slightly pleasant; it was hot enough to come out without a sweater on, but not so hot that you were teaming with sweat by the time you walked ten yards. And to top off such a pleasant day, it was Sunday – meaning the majority of the students were off and around the towns. The campus was practically deserted. Which meant Elliott could brood outside, and in peace.

She sat in the shade of an apple tree, on the grassy raised patch between the Girl's Dorm and the walkway around the school building. There had once been fences up to stop the kids from climbing up here, but they had been pulled down by some public menace. Apparently no one had bothered to replace them.

On reflection, Elliott figured that Beatrice probably hadn't been the best person to confide in about something as serious as pregnancy. The Nerd had freaked out big time, hyperventilating as she tried to figure out what Elliott was going to do if she was going to have a baby. When it got to the point that Beatrice physically couldn't breathe for about thirty seconds, Elliott had to remind her that it was she who might be pregnant, not Beatrice. This only calmed Beatrice down slightly.

She had tried to persuade Elliott to go and see one of the female teachers. But that was out of the question. Who would she go to? Nurse McRae? She would probably tie her to a stick and take her outside to judge in front of the whole school; Mrs Peabody would probably join her; Miss Danvers would request that she be expelled; Miss Carver would probably just give her a huge pile of parenting books from the library and send her on her way. The only realistic option was Miss Phillips, but Elliott simply couldn't bring herself to tell her. It had taken all her courage just to tell Beatrice.

She shook her head and frowned. Why was she getting so panicked about this? She didn't even know if she was yet, and the fact of the matter was that she probably wasn't. Elliott knew she always had to make things harder for herself by worrying about unimportant problems; she always had done.

Although pregnancy wasn't really unimportant.

Approaching voices cut into her thoughts and she glanced to her right, frowning slightly. Her frown only deepened as she saw Jimmy Hopkins strolling by, trailed by his new best friends. They all laughed at something he said, the fakeness making Elliott's teeth ache. She leaned out from behind the tree, still remaining seated, and watched as they came to a stop at the bottom of the steps. Mandy strolled over and kissed Jimmy on the cheek.

'Urgh…' Elliott screwed up her nose. Only last week Mandy hated Jimmy.

The group parted and headed off, leaving Jimmy with Petey. Losing interest, Elliott sat back and plucked at the grass around her. Seemed like everything had calmed down after the insanity that was the big game. The students were all getting along together, hardly anyone was getting bullied. But Elliott could sense something brewing. Like the calm before the storm.

You have to tell Gary, Beatrice had said. Yeah, like hell she was going to tell Gary. What would he do, drop this whole thing with Jimmy, jump for joy and then start picking baby names? He wouldn't give a crap. And plus, psychos like him are not the kind of people you want around babies.

Elliott screwed up her eyes. Why couldn't she stop thinking? So she had been sick yesterday, it didn't mean anything. She didn't even know why she had said that to Beatrice, it had just come out.

'Nothing's wrong.' She mumbled. 'Nothing at all. Everything's fine. Peachy, even.'

'Psst! Elliott!'

Elliott glanced around in bewilderment to see Beatrice's hand waving to her over the edge of the raised level. She stood up and moved to the edge, peering down to Beatrice. 'Why are you whispering?' she asked, frowning.

Beatrice glanced around suspiciously, clutching a brown paper bag in her hand. 'I got something for you.' She whispered. 'But I can't give it to you here, someone might see.'

Elliott glanced around. 'Beatrice, there's no one around.'

'There are eyes and ears everywhere,' Beatrice hissed. 'Now come on! Quickly!'

Elliott watched after her in puzzlement as Beatrice scampered away behind the Girl's Dorm. She hesitated before climbing down and following her. She caught up with Beatrice by the dumpster. The other girl was fidgety and nervous and kept glancing back over her shoulder worriedly.

'What's wrong with you?' Elliott half smiled. 'You look like you're about to try and sell me come crack. Which actually wouldn't be such a bad thing.'

Beatrice pushed the bag in her hands. 'I managed to get this. Don't ask me how because it's a long and deeply uncomfortable story which involves Fatty, a blonde wig and a rather perplexed chemist store owner. But don't worry, Fatty didn't know I was getting it for you. I told him it was for a science project.'

Already knowing what was waiting for her in the bag, Elliott peered in. Her stomach still turned at the sight of the pregnancy test and she closed the bag again. 'You didn't have to do that.' She sighed.

'Yes I did,' Beatrice nodded, still whispering. 'Because I know you wouldn't have done anything and nine months from now you would have been wandering along, in complete denial about the whole thing and then poof, there'd be a little tiny baby.'

'I think there's more to it than just going poof…' Elliott frowned. She shook her head and tried to hand back the bag. 'And anyway, I know I'm not now. I guess I was just upset when I said that before and I had cracked my head open the night before so I was probably talking rubbish anyway…'

'Don't give me that, Elliott. We're going upstairs to the bathroom right now and you're going to take that test.'

Elliott laughed. 'Um, no I'm not. I told you, Bea, it's probably just-'

Beatrice scowled, an expression Elliott had never seen her pull before. 'You're going to march up those stairs right now Elliott Nixon and pee on that little stick.'

Elliott blinked at her in surprise. 'Um… okay.' She mumbled.

Beatrice crossed her arms and nodded. 'Good. Now come on. The Girl's Dorm is pretty much empty at the minute so there shouldn't be anyone around.'

Elliott just frowned and muttered an acknowledgment. Beatrice headed around to the front of the dorm, still staring around for anyone who might be in earshot. Elliott looked at the brown bag grimly and then trudged after her.

'It's been a minute.' Beatrice whispered, face pressed against the cubicle door.

'I know it's been a minute.' Elliott hissed back. 'Can you just be patient? Jesus, you'd think it was you who was knocked up.'

Beatrice looked around in alarm. 'Someone might hear you!'

'There's no one in the building.' Elliott reminded her. 'We're the only losers hanging around in the dorm on a really sunny Sunday.'

'Come on, Elliott. It should be done now.'

'Just a minute.'

Beatrice sighed and began to pace anxiously, chewing her thumbnail. After another ten seconds, which seemed like forever to Beatrice, Elliott spoke again.

'Oh, it's doing something.'

'Well what is it doing? How many lines are there?'

'Um… I can't tell.' Elliott paused for a long time. 'One.'

'Well that does that mean? Is that positive?' Beatrice was practically hanging on the wall to stop herself from collapsing. 'Elliott please, the tension is killing me. I think I'm going to have a heart attack! You're putting unnecessary stress on-'

The cubicle door opened and Elliott stepped out, rolling up the paper bag. Beatrice stared at her expectantly.

'Well?' she almost shrieked.

Elliott half smiled, although she looked a little pale. 'Negative.' She shrugged. 'Guess it was a lot of worry over nothing.'

Beatrice almost collapsed. 'Oh my God… Oh, Elliott never do that to me again. I thought I was going to go into cardiac arrest. Are you sure it's negative?' She moved forward to take the bag. 'Let me see.'

Elliott grimaced and snatched the bag back. 'I'm not going to let you hold a stick I just peed on.' She tucked it under her arm and moved to the sink. 'And I think I can tell the difference between one line and two lines.'

Beatrice was having trouble catching her breath. 'This… is… Oh my God, I think I have to go and get some fresh air. Excuse me, Elliott.' She turned to go, but then quickly moved back to Elliott and hugged her tightly. Without a word she left the bathroom, and left Elliott looking after her in bewilderment.

Elliott looked back to the mirror for a moment, and then sighed heavily. She turned and made her way along to her dorm room, clutching the paper bag in her hand. Once in her room she closed the door, walked to the bed, and sat down heavily. After staring at the floor for a few moments, she pulled open the drawer of her desk and tossed the bag inside, containing the unopened and unused pregnancy test.

She just couldn't go through with it.

She probably wasn't pregnant anyway.