A/N: Back by popular demand! LOL! But, I am serious on the popular demand comment, I already have seventy two reviews. I am astounded! Thank you so much, I never thought I would actually get this far, but I guess dreams can come true!

I am also very glad some of you are thinking this is not a Mary-Sue. I have been trying very hard not to make it like one, because I know how much many people hate them. Even if I do not mind them that much, (please don't hurt me!)

In answer to Europe's question: "Why would a party of men think to take soap with them?" I will answer that question in this chapter and hopefully everyone will enjoy the answer….

So, read enjoy, and most of all…leave a review!

*~*~*

I was once again floating on my back enjoying the most enjoyable feeling of the water moving over my shredded back. Aragorn tells me that it looks a little better since he fixed it up last night, but he refuses to tell me if it will leave scars. He says that a lady should not worry about such things. Ha! Like I'm lady!

Suddenly a rather large wave drenched me out of my thoughts. I looked up at the rock to my left and I see the hobbits have learned the art of cannonballs. Go figure…

"Do you mind? There is someone down here that was just about to doze off. I mean come on guys!"

Sam looked down at me and grinned, "Then we have just saved you from a horrible death."

"Huh?"

"You surly would have drowned if you had fallen asleep, would you not?"

"Um, sure, whatever you say there, daddy."

I got the funniest look from him and then he flew into the water, making a giant splash that of course drenched me again. He popped up and then started to flounder. Great, so he couldn't swim either.

I swam over and grabbed him under the arms and yanked him back to the shallows.

"There, no stay over here so I don't have to play lifeguard all of the time."

He gave me a dirty look and then told me scathingly, "You could have just pushed me over to one of the logs, that way I could have stayed over by Mister Frodo."

I gave him an equally cold look and said, "I could have left you to drown." I then gave him a grin.

He grinned back and then started yelling at Merry, the only one of the hobbits that could swim. "Oi! Merry! Bring one of them logs over here. I can't get back over to the rock if you don't!"

Merry came over and helped Sam position himself on the log and started to push him back towards the rock. I turned away a little and dove back in. I can easily say that I have never had more fun in the water.

After I had been hit in the head by the soap earlier, the hobbits decided why should I have all the fun in the water and wanted to join me. Pippin figured since he was already wet he could just swim in his breeches, as he so put it. The other hobbits were ecstatic at the idea and promptly went running into the water, where they almost all drown.

We had quite a problem on our hands for a little while until Aragorn got the idea of throwing logs in for them as floatation devices. It actually worked well. Score one for Aragorn!

I looked over to where the rest of the 'men' were getting pestered into the water by the little guys. Merry and Pippin were practically dragging Boromir into the water and Frodo and Sam were doing the puppy face to Aragorn, Legolas, and Gandalf. No one was even trying to get Gimli into the water, he promptly refused at even the inclination. His loss…

I sat and watched the 'circus' for a little while. So far the hobbits could not get anyone into the water and they all looked very crestfallen at the idea of having to play alone. I then got another one of my brilliant ideas. Even though my last "brilliant" idea found me being a chew toy to a warg, I thought this one should be okay.

I swam over so I was a short distance away from all of them and lazily shouted to the hobbits, "Oh, just leave them be guys." The men all gave me gracious looks, but then I continued, "They are all afraid of the water, they just don't want to admit it. Don't worry about it, we understand."

Uh-oh!

The little guys all stepped back and then Pippin asked Boromir, "If you were afraid of the water, you should have said something. We won't make you come in." They then all started to walk back to the water.

All of the big guys glared at me. I'm telling you, if looks could kill, I would have been dead four times over. It was really funny. But, then knowing me, you all know that I cannot keep my big mouth shut.

"Aw, are the likkle men afwaid of a likkle wawa? Poow babies…"

With a roar of rage all four of them started to strip down to their pants and run towards me. I screamed and dove under the water and started swimming. I came up for breathe and saw Gandalf was still having issues with his clothing but all three of the others were coming after me full-tilt.

"Ahhhh! Help!"
Boromir laughed, "There is no one to help you now."

"My that was cliché. Ahhhh! Gimli! Help me!"

He just sat there chortling, "I cannot, it would take all their fun away."

"Sam! Merry! Frodo?"

They were laughing so hard they could barely keep from drowning.

"Pippin! I let you drool on me!"

He just shook his head and continued to laugh.

"Damn you all!"

I had finally reached the waterfall and I turned around. They had all fanned out behind me so I could not swim away. Even Gandalf was there, how he got here that fast I do not know. Damn wizard…

"Come on guys, let's think about this. You don't want to go hurting a lady."

"But you have told us not to call you 'Lady', so in other words you are not one then." Boromir reasoned.

I was still backing up and finally my back was being hit by the spray off the waterfall, "Well I know you all pretty well and I know you would never hurt me. So let's not do anything rash…"

"What? Is likkle Emily afwaid of a likkle wawa?" laughed Aragorn.

"Hey! That's my line!" I cried indignantly.

They had finally reached me and I was back all the way so I was standing underneath the water of the waterfall. If only there was that hidden cave here now.

"Haha, this was pretty funny guys. Let's go see what the little guys are doing?"

They all just shook their heads.

"I love you?"

They dove at me.

*~*~*

Boromir reached me first and grabbed me around the waist and threw me into the deeper water. Once I was clear of them I started to swim towards shore as fast as I could but someone grabbed my ankle and pulled me back. I glanced back and saw a grinning Legolas now attached to me. I started to kick on the surface of the water as fast as I could and completely blinded him, not to mention drenched him. He let me go and then I swam straight into Aragorn's waiting arms. That's when I finally noticed the pendant he wore around his neck.

I was still struggling in his arms while the others advanced on me. I looked up into his face and I managed to gasp out, "The woman that gave you that necklace would not be happy if she knew what you were doing to me…"

He loosened his grip on me and looked at me, "How do you know about Arwen?"

I squirmed away from him and started swimming, then I called back over my shoulder, "I don't!"

I was nearly to the shore when all of a sudden I was violently shoved underneath the water. I struggled around and pushed back up to the surface. Gandalf was firmly attached to my waist. I tried to kick him off or at least knee him a good one, but I could not.

"What the f—"

Gandalf clapped one of his hands over my mouth, "Silence, there are hobbits present."

I looked at the four of them and they all looked rather shocked I would try and use such language, so I took the opportunity to get loose from Gandalf. I slipped out and slid underwater and took off towards the three of them that had been watching. I got to the nearest foot and grabbed it and yanked as hard as I could.

A blonde head dunked under the water. Ah, Legolas, one down three to go. I grabbed the next ankle and yanked them under, gray hair. Yep, that would be Gandalf. I then had to go up for air. I popped up and then back under as quickly as possible, that way they may not have seen me. No such luck.

Two of the pair of legs swam over to where I had gone up for air. I grabbed a leg from each pair and started to swim down. After I held them for a moment I let them go and shot to the surface. When I had cleared my eyes of all of the water I looked over to where the hobbits were laughing. I gave them an evil smile and started to swim towards them. They all gave shrieks and started to paddle towards shore as fast as their logs would take them—not very fast if you ask me.

I reached Frodo and spun his log so he fell off the other side. I then reached under and grabbed him under the arms and pulled him up onto the log again. Amazingly he was still grinning. I gave him a lop-sided grin and then turned away from him.

"Oh Pippin! I think I need to pay you back for all the drooling you did!" he gave a startled shriek and took off.

This was going to be fun.

*~*~*

Soon all nine of us were laughing and splashing each other. I then got another one of my 'brilliant' ideas. Okay, so maybe they haven't been quiet so brilliant in the past, but practice makes perfect right?

When Aragorn swam at me to splash him I motioned him to not to. He looked at me curiously and then I leaned in and dunked him. He came up spluttering. He glared at me and then made a move to shove me under I grabbed his shoulder and whispered my plan into his ear. Aragorn looked at me and then grinned wickedly and nodded slightly. He then shoved me under and took off after Boromir.

Soon all nine of us knew what I was planning. I made a big deal of swimming towards the shallows and then stood up.

"Ugh, look at this! I'm getting all pruny!" I whined.

I glanced over to Gimli and didn't see him even look at me. Normally he would never pass up the chance to act condescendingly towards me, so this could mean only one thing.

He was asleep.

This was good. Oh! This was good. Almost too good to be true.

I looked back at the others who were watching me and motioned them over, then I put a finger to my lips. It was imperative that we did not wake him. I looked over to where the hobbits were all sitting. All four of them were now sitting on Merry's log, but they were in the shallows so I still don't know why they were on it. They were all silently shaking and every now and then a giggle would escape. I gave them one of my dirtiest looks, which only set them off again. I was about to head back into the water and shut them up, when Legolas reached over and gave their log a good spin. They all flew into the water and promptly shut up.

I smiled at Legolas and silently mouthed 'Thank you' and rolled my eyes in the hobbits' direction. He gave me a grin back. Now, on to more pressing business.

Aragorn, Boromir and I all crept up to Gimli as silently as we could. But, any noise that we did make was easily masked, as Gimli's snores were about three times louder then Pippin's are or ever will be. This was too easy! Each of the men grabbed Gimli under one arm and started to carry him towards the water. At first I thought the jostling of the walking would wake him up, but I was sadly mistaken. That dwarf could sleep like one of the rocks he so very loved. It was amazing!

When we finally made it down to the water, Legolas pushed the now vacant hobbit log over to us. Both of us held it steady while the men positioned Gimli on top of it. Once that was down I started to push it out to the middle of the lake and swim behind it. We didn't know if he could swim or not so we figured someone should follow just incase. He just floated there for what must have been close to half an hour. By this time everyone was getting rather bored so I figured I should do something.

I swam up so I was right beside him and started to flick a few drops of water onto his sleeping face. He just snorted and kept sleeping. I then flicked a few more droplets onto his face and finally he started to wake up.

"Wha…?"

He tried to sit up and straddle the log but then noticed his feet were touching water, (just barely).

"What! Where am I? Aragorn! Gandalf!" he started to roar.

I then swam into his view.

"You!" he sputtered.

"Yeah, it's me. At least I think it is. What do you think guys?" I turned to look at the other members of the guilty party.

They were all nodding and trying no to laugh.

"Get me off of here!"

"Why can't you swim?" I asked innocently enough.

"Yes, I can swim, but that is beside the point. I do not like water!"

"Oh, I see. So what if I just did this?" I started to slightly move the log back and forth.

"No! Stop!"

"All right, I will. That is if you stop constantly badgering me about not being strong enough because I am a woman."

"Why should I lie to you about the truth?"

"You know I really do not appreciate that wench remark that you gave me when I was hanging upside down…" I gave the log another rough push.

"All right. All right!"

"So what are you not going to do anymore?"

"I will not remind you that you are a woman and there for weaker than I."

"Wrong answer!" I gave the log a very hard shove and it started to sway dangerously.

Gimli then turned towards Aragorn and the others on the shore, "Aragorn how could you do this to another one of you party? We are supposed to trust one another! I would not guess this coming from one of you!"

"Then you guessed right. Not a one of us had any part in the creation of this. The 'wench' did!" He then started to laugh outrageously.

Man! That guy was good!

Gimli then turned towards me, "You?"

"Yes, me. I thought we had already been through this?"

He nodded slowly, "I would not expect this from you."

"Yeah well welcome to my world."

It looked like he was still in awe of the whole situation; "You have my respect. I would not think something of such devious nature could come from a woman."

"Aw, stop! You are making me blush!"

He then shook his head at me.

Wait! Was that a smile I was seeing? A smile from the dwarf that wanted to leave me! This was too good to be true!

"I really wish I had my camera right now. Do you know that this is the first time I have seen you smile at me?"

The smile immediately left his face, but not his eyes, "Well that is too bad now isn't it. Will you please take me back to shore now?"

"Yeah, I suppose I have to. Just when I was starting to have some fun too…"

I slowly started to push the log back to the shore. When we finally reached about waist deep water I pretended to trip and I shoved Gimli off of the log and into the water.

"Oops! Oh dear! Are you all right?"

A very wet and very soggy looking dwarf stood up from the water. There looked to be almost a murderous glint in his eyes.

Uh-oh!

He then laughed and shoved me over into the water and climbed out himself. I stood back up and wiped the water from my eyes. Well that was unexpected.

"It's starting to get late. I suppose I had better start on that soap, huh?"

Gandalf nodded his head, "Yes, we had all better be down before darkness falls upon us."

We all then climbed into the water, (minus Gimli, he said that he already took his bath) and spread out. I then noticed that I was the only one that was using the soap that the guys had given me.

"Here, you guys can use some of your own soap you know." I offered.

"No, that is quiet all right. The lady should use it first," Aragorn told me, but he was laughing too.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing is funny. Please continue your bathing."

"Okay…"

I went back to lathering up my hands. This soap was rather odd to tell you the truth. I mean it's not like I was expecting Dove or Ivory. But, it smelled almost—well—leathery! I continued to wash with it and watch everyone out of the corner of my eye. Everyone was laughing.

"Okay! That is it! What is so damn funny?"

Boromir finally spluttered out, "The soap you are using! It is saddle soap!"

"So?"

This stopped them all dead.

"You do not know what it is used for?"

"Uh, to clean saddles?"

"No, it is used to soften leather. It is not for human use."

"Urhg!" I dove under the water and started to try and rinse it off of me. But it left a slimy coat on my skin. I finally came up for air and I rubbed at my skin, it was shinny and had the distinct smell of leather. This was bad.

"You assholes! Why did you give me this when I asked for soap?" I screeched.

"You never specified what kind of soap you wanted," answered Legolas.

Damn elf! He was right.

"But I didn't know I had to specify!"

They all just shrugged and laughed harder.

"Whose idea was it to give me the saddle soap?"

They all started to laugh harder and there was a unanimous shout and pointing, "GIMLI!"

I spun around and sure enough there was the damn dwarf sitting there on the log laughing at me. I mean this guy was almost crying he was laughing so hard.

"How did you know I was going to ask for soap?" I asked slyly. I had found a loophole in his perfect plot!

"You are a woman! All women need soap to bathe!"

He got me there.

He's good. To add to that, I now smelled like someone's boots.

Maybe I should just go rub my boots all over me, I mean they do need a shine….

This was pathetic.

*~*~*

A/N: I know not a whole lot happened in this chapter, but I needed this as a transition point. I hope you all realize that and are not too disappointed in me. Well at least I made it rather long right? Not all bad!

Does that answer your question Europa? I hope it did. I also realize that it was not all that funny, but it was the only kind of soap I could think of that a group of men would have on hand. I hope you at least found something funny in this chapter.

Tell me what you think of this!

~Abskii~