Previously...
"Do you love me?" He waited with the saddest look she had ever seen. Timmy had the same face when he couldn't get his way. She giggled, "I do Edward. I do."
"Would you say that in front of a minister?" He teased. She slapped his stomach lightly, "Back off cupid."
"Just a thought."
"Where's the broom?" She asked shaking her head at him.
They spent most of the next few days ordering in food, talking, and avoiding too much intimate touching. He had not pushed the issue of their relationship just as he promised. They had caught up on everything, and it was if he had never left. He was sitting on the couch with her between his legs watching television, when the doorbell rang.
"Grabbing a remote he pushed a button, "Yes?"
"It's me Edward." Brian said waiting on his approval. Edward groaned softly, "Come in." She looked up, "I though you were on vacation?" He smiled kissing her nose, "I am beginning to think they don't know what the word means."
He walked in with a smile, "Edward, long time no see. We need to chat."
"What do you need? I have told everyone several times, I am on vacation. You and James are driving me insane." He tossed the remote back to the table, and glared. Brian took a moment to look at their embrace then began to speak sitting on a nearby chair.
"The studio would like you to do a small photo shoot. You remember the interview you did two weeks ago?" He asked. Edward nodded.
"Well, they want a few pictures. The studio called, and a few of your house would be great."
"What rooms?" He already knew where this was going, and he was not happy, in fact he felt himself getting angry already.
"They mentioned the living room, possibly the bedroom, and maybe the kitchen or the backyard. They want just enough to show your lavish lifestyle."
He sighed shaking his head, "No bedroom pics it is too personal, and off limits. I don't want any taken of me either, I already fulfilled that obligation."
"No problem, I am sure they will accept whatever you offer." He said with a smile, "They need it soon."
"How soon?" Edward eyed him suspiciously. Brian shrugged, "Today maybe?"
She felt him tense as he lifted her and sat up, "You have got to be kidding me! Brian, have we not discussed this? I have company. You are pushing me. She can't leave, and take a chance on being seen. She wants her privacy. We need to respect that." She didn't want him to miss out on something because of her. He should be able to continue his life without her making him alter his lifestyle too much.
"It's ok." Bella said patting his knee. He met her eyes with a surprised expression. She smiled slightly, "Really, it is. If they aren't taking personal pictures then it won't really be a problem right?" He looked down in thought resting his hand on hers.
"I don't know love."
"Brian, tell them it's fine. I can stay out of the way." He glanced to Edward who nodded, and sighed standing up and walking to the window to gaze out. He spoke quickly then hung up, "Two hours folks." Bella saw Edward's eyes flash to him a moment, but then they were looking back outside again.
He stood, "You want me to hang around?"
Edward shook his head no, and Bella watched as he left quietly. He obviously knew Edward was now in a foul mood, and it was best to leave him alone. She stood walking to the bar, "Want something to drink? I'm getting some water."
"No, thanks." He said softly. She inhaled softly, and crossed the room. Her arms slipped under his, and around his waist from behind. She could feel his taunt abdomen when her hands stopped. He felt her warm heat against his back, and closed his eyes.
"Edward, relax." She pleaded with a calm voice. He spun in her arms to face her, his arms now holding her as well. He was dreading her leaving. What would he do then? He couldn't even imagine. Immersing himself in work again just didn't seem appealing anymore.
"I can't relax. I wanted to avoid this, you didn't want this."
She looked up smiling, "It's who you are, and I know that. People want to see you, to know things about you, and who am I to stand in the way?"
He pulled her tightly against him, "You are the one thing that matters, that is who you are." She grew nervous. She knew the line they had been avoiding was fixing to be crossed again. His large hand slid up her arms to rest on the curve of her neck.
"When you leave, I want you to remember something."
She couldn't look away from his bright green eyes. They were so full of life and passion. He looked her over, as his hands fell to take her tiny ones in his. He then looked up again, "Remember that I love you. I want you to remember that no matter where we go from here, I will always love you. I will always want you, but I won't push you into a life you don't want."
He kissed both hands lightly, "Bella, I don't know what will happen with me, with my heart. It's not as if I can give it to anyone when you already own it." She felt the sting of tears, and saw his eyes were watery too. He took a deep breath, "I want you to be happy, to fall in love, and have a family. I won't stop you. I would gladly set you free to see you happy."
He closed his eyes clearing his thoughts, but they wouldn't go away. He couldn't help feeling so many emotions when she was near. He opened his eyes when he felt her hand on his cheek. He couldn't read her eyes, but he could feel her shaking. Her very touch was intoxicating.
"Bella…my god what you do to me." He bit his lip holding in a moan when her hands both moved to his chest. She could feel his heart racing under her palm. He was tense, his body rigid, as he tried to take in slow short breaths. She stepped closer resting her head on his chest. She wanted to hear his heart, she wasn't sure why, but she had to.
He moved his arms around her, and rested his hands on the flare of her hips. He wasn't sure what she wanted, maybe it was just to be held. He didn't want to entertain the thought of her wanting anything more. It just seemed to end up badly.
His breath hitched when her warm hands pulled his shirt out of his jeans. He jumped at the contact of her fingers on his abdomen. She leaned back looking into his eyes. He didn't move, this was her call, and he didn't want to seem like he wanted more than she did.
She slid her hands up to the buttons of his shirt, and began to unbutton them slowly, slightly surprised he didn't make a move to touch her, but he remained perfectly content to let her explore. When the buttons were undone she met his eyes again. She could see the passion blazing, and pushed the shirt down his arms allowing it to fall. Her palms already back to his sculpted chest.
She ran her fingers over the hard marble of his pectoral muscles, and down to his toned abs. She remembered doing this their first time, but he was younger, and didn't have the patience to wait for her to explore too long. He had changed now, he was well defined, taller, and as an adult now he was able to refrain from pushing her to go faster or touch more of him.
He released her hips where he was clinching, and un-clinching his fists to turn and rest his back on the wall for support. He didn't know how much longer his knees would hold out, and with her touching him like this he felt unsteady. She lifted her beautiful head to see his face, and turned following his movement.
She could see his uneven breathing, not to mention a few other things she noticed. He smiled reassuringly, as he ran his palm down her flushed cheek. "Bella?" He said unsure if he could even talk. It came out huskier than normal.
"Yes?" He stilled her roaming hands. "I am in love with you." She felt her breathing stop completely before he shook her gently, "Breathe, love." He didn't know how bad she wanted to hear that, needed to hear it, and yet she could never admit it to him or herself.
She had always been deeply in love with him, and she knew he was in love with her too. The last few days pretty much sealed the deal so to speak. He was so tender with her, so loving and he asked for nothing in return. She took his hands in hers placing them on the skin under her shirt. His eyes fell to her hands then back up to her face.
She knew he was thinking, his thoughts probably racing to figure out where they were actually going with this. His thumb lazily drew circles on her sides, as she leaned forward to place her cool lips on his chest. He moaned squeezing her tighter.
"Please." She whispered lifting her head only to feel his lips devour hers hungrily. Her body leaned into him, and she gasped as his hands slid up her back, and down again leaving a trail of fire in their wake. She noticed he had not made any move to take this further. She wondered if it was because he thought she would stop.
She pulled away from his lips to breathe. The air coming in short spurts to her aching lungs. His palms were resting on the back of her bra, and she smiled up at him. "You can take it off."
His eyebrow rose in silent question. She giggled, "The bra, you can take it off." She reached around his neck and fastened her hands in his hair. "The shirt, the bra, the pants, all of it." She started as his lips descended to her neck. "Please Edward, take it off." She begged.
She reached down to his jeans and unbuttoned them quickly, sliding the zipper open. Her hands then slid around him and across his backside to the inside of his jeans pushing them down. He moaned lifting his head, and grabbing her hands.
"Wait." He stepped back gasping. "Too…much." He leaned on the back of the couch for support. She stood stunned. Did he really just tell her to wait? He refastened his pants and met her eyes, "I'm sorry, love."
He moved to the front of the couch and practically fell back trying to calm himself. She moved to sit beside him, and he smiled taking her hand in his. "I want to, I really want to." He inhaled deeply, "When you first got here it was overwhelming, the need to see you, touch you, be one with you again. I got to know you again, like when we were always together. I feel the same emotions."
"I don't understand." She said confused.
He stroked her cheek, "You're going home love. You won't stay. I can't change your mind, and as much as I am aching to be with you. My heart…" He sighed, "I can't. It's going to be bad enough when you leave, I won't have my heart ripped out again."
She knew what he meant, in truth she had not thought about how it would affect her if they made love again. He pulled her close kissing her head, "Maybe one day you'll decide you're ready for me, and I'll be here waiting."
"I can't ask you to do that Edward. You can't stop your life for me." She said with sadness in her voice. He closed his eyes as his head fell back, "I already did. It's something I can't change."
"You have to, when I leave you should date, and…" She knew the thought of him with anyone else made her sick, but if she was going to refuse to stay with him he would need to move on. He shot her a look. "You don't worry about my personal life. If I can't be with the one I love then I'll be fine alone. What does it matter? I've done it this long."
"Edward."
"Bella, don't ok. You're here a few more days let's just enjoy it."
"Edward." She looked down nervously, "I need to tell you something."
The doorbell rang, and he stood grabbing his shirt, and slipping it on. "We'll continue this in a minute."
He said kissing her head lightly. He didn't bother with the buttons assuming Brian was back. He opened the door, and stood shocked when he realized it was the photographer, and his female assistant. She glanced at him from head to toe, and blushed with a small smile.
He played it cool and extended his hand, "I'm Edward, welcome." He opened the door wider and they walked in looking around curiously at his beautiful home. He saw something white in the corner of his eye, and looked just as Brian walked in, "Sorry I was running late."
"Its fine they just got here."
Brian looked at his clothes but said nothing continuing in, "Hello, I'm Brian let me show you around, and tell you about the house, and there are a few rules."
Edward ran a hand through his hair, walking back into the living room. She was nowhere to be found. He frowned looking around, as he walked through the house quietly. He found her in the kitchen getting something to eat.
"Hungry?" He asked slipping his arms around her from behind. She smiled, and stood slipping a grape into his mouth.
"Starved."
He popped her rear, and turned grabbing a bowl. "Here you go." She took it placing some grapes into it along with a few other fruits from the refrigerator, and leaned beside him.
"You hungry?" She asked feeing him a piece of pineapple. He smirked pulling her close, "You have no idea, love." The oversized door opened, and they both turned. Brian raised his eyebrows, and Bella pulled away moving across the room. The photographer smiled glancing between them both. He knew there was something going on. He wasn't oblivious to the way he was holding her when they walked in, or the way he glanced at her now.
Brian turned, "So, this is the kitchen what, are you thinking you want to shoot?" He led them back out. Edward turned to Bella who was now sitting on the counter eating quietly.
"You ok?" He asked moving to rest his hands on her thighs. She smiled, "Fine, but you might want to move your hands in case they walk in again."
"Probably." He agreed with a gentle peck on her lips. She jumped down setting her bowl in the sink, "I think we should disappear for a while until they leave."
"I agree." He took her hand, "My room." She followed him to the doorway and turned, "Wait, you should button this." He smirked, as her fingers quickly buttoned his shirt. They both heard the flashing and turned to see the photographer in the next room.
He pulled the camera from his face, "Are you two going through? I don't want to get you in the picture." Edward nodded, and pulled her along. They went to his room, and opened his balcony door sitting in a comfortable oversized chair and relaxing.
They were quiet for a long time, before she stood. "I am thirsty, want something?"
"Sure, whatever you are having." He kissed her hand as she left. She walked down stairs, and hearing them she walked the long way around to his kitchen. She grabbed them some juice, and peeked out the doorway. They were at his large table looking at their pictures on a computer screen.
"This one is nice." She said about a picture he took of the living room. Bella could see them from where she stood, and it was a nice picture. He flipped to another one, and she almost dropped one of the glasses. It was of her and Edward in the doorway with her buttoning his shirt. He was looking down at her with a smile and his hand rested comfortably on her waist. She could only imagine what people would think, no she didn't have to imagine, she knew.
She set the glasses down walking into the room. "I do believe personal pictures were off limits."
They both turned startled. He shook his head, "It wasn't on purpose, it just so happened I was taking the photo when you two walked out.
"Then you won't mind deleting it." She insisted. He frowned, "I don't ever delete until I get to my main computer at home. This one is strictly for viewing purposes."
Edward wondered what was taking so long, and walked downstairs. He saw the look of fear on Bella's face and walked into the room. "What's going on?"
"They have a picture of us." She said trying not to panic. His head tilted, "Really? Brian was to inform you no personal shots."
"Yes, he did. I was explaining to the lady that I was taking the pic, as you walked out. I will delete it, but I can't here. I do all editing, and deleting at my house."
"That doesn't work for me. You see my private life stays private, and nothing gets out of here with a picture of us in it."
"Mr. Cullen, please this can be fixed."
"I know it can, and I know it will." He grabbed the computer smashing it on the hard tile floor. They both gasped. Brian came running in with his mouth open, and dropped the phone he was talking on.
"Edward what's going on?"
"The rules were clear, get them out, and pay them for their supplies."
"But Edward, we still…" He turned raising his voice, "I said get them out!" They quickly grabbed their things as security walked in, "Everything ok Mr. Cullen?"
"Escort them out."
"Yes sir."
He turned seeing her against the wall barely holding together. He cursed, and grabbed her pulling her into his arms. "Bella, I'm so sorry."
"This is why I can't do this. Do you see now?"
"Bella, come on it was one incident." He cried. She pulled away, "So you lucked out, you can't stop everyone else. This is exactly what I was afraid of. The possible disruption something like this could cause in my life."
He pinched the bridge of his nose, "I understand. You don't have to explain."
She shook her head sitting down, her face burying itself in her hands.
"What did you want to tell me earlier?" He questioned sitting across from her. She glanced up, "Humm?"
"I asked what you wanted to tell me earlier, before they came."
She froze then looked away, "It was nothing." He slid his chair closer, "I don't believe that." She sighed, "It doesn't matter shattered moment you know? Things with the photographer…"
"Did what?" He asked finishing her sentence before she could.
"I just…I have to go Edward. I need to go home, this is wonderful. I mean seeing you, but let's be serious here. I can't live in this world you live in, and you can't live in mine. It's getting too confusing for us both, and emotions are getting cloudy."
"My emotions are just fine thank you." He replied back. She met his eyes, "Mine aren't."
"So then stay, we'll work through them. Damn it, Bella if you need more then I will give you more." He lifted her into his arms, and began to carry her.
"Where are we going?"
"To finish what you started earlier." He said without emotion. She tensed in his arms and felt sudden panic envelope her. He walked into his room kicking the door shut, and placing her on the bed.
"So, where were we?" He asked leaning over her, and forcing her to lay back, his hands immediately pushing her shirt up. She grabbed his hands, "I thought you said it was too much?"
"It doesn't matter what I said. If this is what you need then I'll deal with the consequences later."
She pushed him back, "How can you? You can't just hurt yourself to do something you think I need." He sighed, "I've done it for years. Bella, can we stop talking please. I would like to see a little more of you, and this isn't helping."
"What do you mean you've done it for years?" She cried pushing him over and off of her. He sighed dropping his arm across his face.
"We aren't going to do this are we?"
"I asked you a question." She reminded him. He moved his arm to see her, "I asked you one also."
"Ok, so I will answer yours. No we aren't going to do this, neither of us wants to. Not like this."
He reached up and pulled a pillow under his head. "I just meant the things you need. I've always done what I thought you needed. I've never been able to break myself of that habit."
"Like what?" She asked curious. He stared at the ceiling. "You wanted to stay in forks, said it was best so I never pressed you to come to me. I guess I had hoped you would come without me forcing you, but I still had to play my hand in the end."
"You said wanted me to leave, and follow my dream. I wanted to, but I was going to stay. I was in love with you, even then I knew. I was going to tell you, when I overheard you telling my mom you thought it was for the best. You needed to focus on school, and I was a distraction. So, I left."
"Oh and here's another one. You didn't want to go to the movies, and decided we should make love for the first time. I had planned to make it special like maybe dinner, and I don't know, but something. I wanted it to be so perfect, you deserved perfect." He closed his eyes, "It doesn't matter now."
"Edward?"
"What?"
"It was perfect." She said watching his reaction. He opened his eyes to see a tear fall down her cheek, reaching up he wiped it and caressing her cheek. "It was so perfect." She said again moving to rest her head on his chest. "It was such a special night."
"Magical." He replied brushing her hair back. "I always thought you were disappointed in me, that I ruined it for you."
"Why would you think that?"
"Well, we never talked about it. In fact we kind of acted like it didn't happen. I thought at first we got so much closer, but when I left you distanced yourself from me."
"I had to." She tried to sit up but he held her close, "Why? Why did you have to?"
"Something happened that night." She said so softly he had to strain to hear her.
"Bella, talk to me." She knew he deserved the truth, he had been denied too long, and Timmy deserved to know who he really was. Her pocket vibrated and she jumped surprised.
"Leave it." He said holding her arms. She pulled loose, I can't it might be important."
Seeing Emmett's name flash she answered. "Hello?" She slid out of the bed, and walked to the window.
"Hi mommy."
"Hey there, how are you?" Her eyes flashed to Edward but he had not moved from the bed.
"When are you coming home? I miss you."
"I know. I miss you too. I am coming home very soon. I think earlier than planned." She saw motion and turned to see him sitting on the edge of the bed with his head down. She could hear Timmy yelling to Rose mommy was coming home. She got on the phone, "Bells? Is everything ok?"
"Yeah, just time to come home I think. I miss home"
"Is Edward nearby?"
"Yes."
"Oh, well then when are you coming?"
"I'll call you when I get the details. I should let you go." She said with a sadness Rose caught. Walking into a room away from Timmy she closed the door, "Bells are you ok? You shouldn't come unless you have it all worked out there. Timmy is fine."
"I know."
Rose sighed, "You didn't tell him." Bella looked at him. He looked heartbroken, and defeated. Her heart felt like it was shrinking. She switched ears, "I need to go Rose. I'll see you soon."
"Bella!"
"Bye Rose." She hung up sitting next to him. "It's for the best."
"Liar." He murmured. She stood, "I'm going to call the airport, I'll let you know when I get a flight."
"Bella, please don't go." He looked up, his face so beautiful even when he was hurting. She ran her fingers through his hair. "If I don't, we will regret it."
"I won't let go of you Bella. I can't." He grabbed her hand holding it, "This is not over." He stood, "I'll make arrangements you can pack if you want."
"I can do it."
"Bella just pack. I will do this, just…please." She could hear his pain and irritation. She walked out packing, and waiting on her bed. She regretted this trip. As good as it felt to be closer to him, it hurt. Her heart was broken along with his, and she didn't know how to fix it.
He knocked opening the door. 2 Hours. I'll take you when you are ready. She stood, "I am ready. I'll call Rose on the way and let her know." He grabbed her suitcase, and headed to his car. She followed him to the garage where he opened the trunk of a silver sports car.
He shut the trunk, and headed to her side to open her door. She moved in front of it. "Please don't hate me."
"I could never hate you. I'm upset Bella, but I'm a big boy I'll get over it." Moving closer he leaned down kissing her gently. "I love you." He reached around grabbing the door handle and opening the door. Arriving at the airport he grabbed her hand, "I can't get out love. I'll have to say goodbye here, can you manage your stuff?"
"Yes. I'll be fine."
He took her hand in his, "I will miss you, we'll talk soon. "
"Promise?" She questioned unsure of his mental state.
"Yes, I told you this isn't over, not by a long shot." He grinned wickedly.
She giggled, "I look forward to the game then Mr. Cullen." She was glad he was at least smiling again. Who knows what was going on in his mind.
"I hope so, because I play to win." He grabbed her face kissing her deeply. She couldn't breathe but she didn't want to pull away. He moaned releasing her, "You better go before I find a place to park, and pull you into the back seat."
She brushed her hand across his cheek, and quickly got out pushing his already unlocked trunk up, and grabbing her bag. He waved watching her disappear inside then grabbed his phone, "Yes, hello again beautiful, listen I need another flight. No, not for Bella, I need one for me. I'm going to Forks." He smiled to himself. Game on Bella.
Sorry this chapter is so long. I was having so much fun writing, I couldn't figure out where to stop it. That being said, game on!