A/N: I know this is a really long, long author's note, but please read it, I have some topics in it that need to be read. Thanks guys!
Well, I hope everyone found that last one funny! I still can't believe that I have a whopping 168 reviews! I just can't believe it! I'm going to faint.... Well, maybe not.
I want to apologize for the lack of italics or bold face, or even different font in my story. My computer is being a complete ass and it won't let me do any of the special formatting. So, I would really appreciate it if you can just ignore that irritating glitch.
StarryStarryNight: Holy shit! I have my own groupie! Oh my God! Of course you can be one! I am so happy that you like it so much!
The Wolf Child: Not a problem, I'll try to keep the link in the update notice. That has gotta be a big help! Thank you for your input!
Emily: Sorry I forgot to credit you. I put it in at the end of the chapter. I'm still beating my head against the wall for that one! Thanks for all the compliments in the review, I always get a warm and fuzzy feeling when I read your reviews!
LeopardDance: I rock? My story rocks? No, no dear, you got it all wrong. You rock!
Europa: I hope this chapter gives you the low down on what Emily thinks of Galadriel, I wrote it with you in mind!
Cassie-bear01: I'm glad that you love my story so much. I just love it when I get reviews like yours. Thanks for making my day!
KindCalypso: So, I had you laughing? Well that just doubles the enjoyment of writing the story. Keep reading and I'll keep writing!
WeasleyTwinsLover1112: I'm so happy that you thought that the chapter was...interesting...I try to make them as funny as possible. Thanks for telling me I succeeded!
Zecorda: I'm so glad that you think my story is awesome and I am updating as quickly as possible!
Okay, I think that is everyone that reviewed on the last chapter!
Yes, I know. I have never done this before; list all of my reviewers, I mean. But, I have this disease, it's called complete lethargy. I know I'm not the only one with it! But, anyway, I figure I should do this. That way, all of my reviewers feel as if I am making contact with them; they'll feel closer to the author and will want to give back input more.
I am in desperate need of songs that Emily can sing. I am running out of them! Please feel free to e-mail me at abskii_79@hotmail.com with your ideas. More than likely I will use them and I promise that I will credit they idea to you. Scout's honor!
Okay! All you artists out there, time to shine! If you would like to do drawings of scenes from this story and have me add them into the font, I certainly could do that. I am thinking that this story needs illustrations! But, being an artist myself, I'm not sure that you would like to spend that much time on a piece and then just have it in a story. But, then again, free publicity! (Do I even need to add that your name will be plastered all over the chapter in tribute if you do? I thought not...)
I know it is kinda a gay idea, even though, I think may start on a picture, see if it will work out. But, if it strikes somebody as something they would like to do, well then hell, more power to you! Just e-mail me and we can talk it over, decide what you are going to do, what chapter it will appear in, etc. (If you have a picture that you would like added into an older chapter I will be more than happy to repost.)
I have no idea if Fanfiction has any ability to back this sort of thing, but I will certainly try it out. So, like I said drop me a line if you are interested!
If this doesn't work out then here comes a web page! (Insert evil laugh here.)
Anyway....on to the story before I get anymore off the wall ideas.
*~*~*
All four of us, (I had learned that the other elf with Maydenia was named Haldir,) were walking down to the feast. As it turns out, Haldir was Maydenia's betrothed and Unic was to be my escort to the function. (Okay, ladies, all of you that adore Haldir, please don't hurt me!)
We had been walking down brightly lit corridors for some time now, but Unic had yet to say a word. I looked up at him and saw that his lines were pressed together in a thin line.
"So, how are you doing?" I just couldn't not say something! I mean it was just too uncomfortable! But, then again, whenever I am nervous, I turn into a complete chatter box! It just can't be helped.
"I am fine."
Okay, well someone has a very bad case of PMS.
"That's it? Fine? No more?"
"I am fine." He repeated.
"Okay Mister Pissy-elf. Kudos to you too." I turned away from him, but not before I saw his face turn a nice shade of pink. I looked over at Maydenia and Haldir.
"Which one of you put him up to this?"
Both pointed at the other.
"Well, that was intelligent. Now, let me try again. Which one of you made him take me to this feast? I mean isn't it obvious that he would rather play Mister Squeaky for some Warg?"
Maydenia finally spoke, after she got over her enormous fit of giggles. "It was Haldir's idea. He decided that since Unic was quite taken with you when you were coming here, that it was a perfect opportunity for you two to meet up again."
I rolled my eyes at the two of them, "Okay, no one wanted to go with the 'dirty human girl'?"
Haldir shook his head, "Many of the male elves are now harboring ill feelings towards you after the liquid fire incident."
"I'm telling you it was not 'liquid fire'! It was Mace. All it is, is a pepper spray. It's supposed to temporarily blind an attacker to let the victim get away. I just thought that you wanted to eat me. It's not like I run around, 'I don't like you, eat Mace! Nope don't like you either!' I'm not that kind of person."
Haldir nodded in understanding, "I shall explain that to the others."
We walked on in silence for a while. It was getting really boring. Haldir and Maydenia were so wrapped up in each other that it was hard to get a word in edge wise, and Unic was still not looking at me. I think that 'Pissy-elf' comment struck home.
'You are worried child.'
I whipped around and started to look in all directions. I had heard a voice. It wasn't like the other voices that I had been hearing lately. No, this one was filled with power, yet it was gentle and elegant. It wasn't like someone was talking even. It was like someone had written the words and I was the only one that could read them. It was very odd.
I noticed that the other three were looking at me funny. I gave them a questioning look.
Unic finally decided to speak to me, "You yelped and clapped your hands over your ears. What is wrong?"
Thinking quickly, I answered, "Nothing, I heard something and I reacted. I must be hanging around you Elf people, I mean your rubbing off on me. When ever I hear a noise now I slam my hands over my ears. What are you doing to me?"
I continued to walk and they hurried to catch up.
That was close. They are already questioning my mental stability. Telling them that I am hearing voices is going to do absolutely nothing for me. Hearing voices is never good, no matter what world you are in.
'I have longed to meet with you Emily. Come, we have much to discuss.'
I turned all the way around and started to walk back the way we had just come. I was checking all of the darker corners when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I whipped around and came about three centimeters to punching out Haldir.
"Sorry. Reflexes, they get the best of me every once in a while."
"I see. You have been very wary lately. Are you feeling all right?"
"Maybe you should stay in bed. You cannot be properly healed after only three days. Come, I'll take you back to your room." Maydenia said and she grabbed my hand and started to pull me back to my room.
Not bed! I am not going to lay there and do nothing for the next few days. If you think I'm insane now, wait until I get out of there then!
"No, Maydenia, I'm fine. It's just that after fighting your way through the wilderness for what seems like forever, you learn to rely on your instincts. I guess I just haven't turned them off yet. I'm perfectly all right. Don't worry about me." I smiled widely and looked at her pleadingly.
She sighed, "If that is the way milady feels."
Good, she bought the bull shit.
Off to dinner!
*~*~*
Finally we reached a set of very wide and winding stairs.
"What's this? I thought we were going to go fill our faces?" I asked.
"The Lady of the Woods would like to hold audience with you before the feast shall start. She is waiting." Haldir beckoned up to the top of the stairs.
"Okay, so we should just go up. She knows we are coming?"
"We are not going with you. She has requested that she sees you alone. Now, go, she is waiting."
"I don't suppose there is an elevator on the other side or something is there?"
"A what?"
"Never mind. Gotcha. Ascending the stairs, I am going up now! Look at me go! I just can't seem to get going fast enough! I'm faster than the wind! I-"
"Lady, what are you doing?"
I looked behind me at Haldir. "I'm hyping myself up for the visit. I mean for all I know, this Galadribble is an axe murderer in disguise! I have to get my courage up!"
I turned away from them and placed my foot on the bottom step again.
Well, Lady Galadribble, here I come!
*~*~*
"What the hell were these people thinking? By the time they reach the top of the stairs they are to tired to hold a decent conversation!"
It was true, it was virtually impossible to talk right then. I was panting to hard to even think! I had counted the stairs as I was climbing them. Even though I had lost count somewhere in the middle, I was thinking there were about three hundred and ninety five stairs. I was just a little bit tired.
I got to the top and leaned up against a wall and put my head between my knees. I stayed like that for a good five minutes. I straightened up and promptly fell back against the wall with a scream.
"What the hell! Why are you just watching me? You scared the shit out of me!
A woman was standing not ten feet away from me, staring at me intently. She radiated power and wisdom, but she really made me uneasy. I don't know what it was. She was dressed in a magnificent white gown and had beautiful long, long blonde hair. Okay, I was wrong, she was really freaking me out!
"Um, hi. Uh, I was supposed to meet Lady Galadribble up here, but I don't think she is here right now, so um, bye?"
I started to walk away from the lady, but, I suddenly heard/saw that damn voice again.
'I still desire to meet with you, dear child. Wait.'
"Oh God! I'm still hearing voices!" I moaned. "This can't be good."
'Do not worry yourself. You are of sane mind.'
"I am really losing it! The voices inside my head are trying to tell me that I'm not crazy! That is the ultimate insanity!"
I looked up at the lady, just to see how she was taking my little relevation. But, she was still looking at me intently, but I was starting to see a slight smile play around her lips.
"Oh, right, so you think this is funny? Well it isn't! Here I am, contemplating my sanity, and you are laughing at me? That is not very nice at all, in fact, it's down right rude! I demand to speak with Lady Galadribble, right now!"
Finally she spoke to me, "She is called Lady Galadriel."
"What? Oh right. Please tell her Imperial Highness that I apologize for mutilating her name," I drawled.
"I forgive you."
"WHAT?"
"I am Lady Galadriel, I have desired to speak with you. We shall be but a moment and then we can arrive at the feast."
'For I know how much you love to eat.'
"What the hell! That's you in my head!"
"Yes, child, it is. I apologize for any unease I may have bestowed upon you."
"What? Oh, no, screw all the insanity checks. Can you teach me how to do that?"
*~*~*
As it turns out, Galadriel and I hit it off pretty well. I mean she was rather like a stick in the mud, but that can be expected. No one here really appreciates my kind of humor, other than the hobbits.
But anyway, Galadriel wanted to play 20 questions with me to find out how I got to Middle Earth. So, being incredibly hungry at that point, I told her everything that I could and then asked if I could leave.
"Are you so worried about food, that you no longer ponder your return route home?"
That stopped me in my tracks.
"Well, I guess I do want to go home, but I think I am in over my head here. Do you know what I mean?"
"Nay, I do not."
"Well, what if you did that little invading my head little trick and I could show you? But that is all the inside the head looks you are going to get. I am not going to run around with a 'No Trespassing' sign nailed to my forehead. Got it?"
"Yes, that would be much easier. Relax."
*~*~*
'Now, open your mind to me. Relax and think about what has happened to you.'
I closed my eyes, I mean you have to get the effect of major concentration. I ran over all of my memories. At first I got the ones that had just happened to me, I mean the ones that revolved around my Middle Earth time. But, then I started to pull up more personal ones. My parents watching me at one of my track meets, me splashing in the YMCA pool with a bunch of my teenage friends, my graduation, with my mom laughing and crying at the same time while my dad sat there looking like a peacock all puffed up with pride. Then, some of my most painful memories filled my mind's eye: when I heard about the car accident that killed my father, sitting beside my mother's hospital bed, seeing her hooked up to numerous tubes that were fighting to keep her alive, watching her as she took her last breath, my parent's joint funeral. It was too much.
I snapped my eyes open and broke my 'link' with Galadriel.
"I think that's enough invading my mind space. You got the drift of what I am up against, right?"
I turned away from her and looked out over the woods of Lothlorien, as I now learned they were called. As stealthily as I could, I wiped away the rogue tears that were pooling in my eyes. Normally these memories didn't affect me as badly as they did just now.
"I see why you think you cannot leave just yet. You are, how you put it, 'in over your head.' You must finish what you have unwillingly started. You must see this quest through. But you will be able to return to your home, there is one that can help you."
"Uh, that is great and all. I mean I have always wanted to do the whole quest thing, but um, maybe it would help to tell me what the quest is. I think that would be a key point, because as of right now, I don't have a clue what I am doing here, or what my purpose is. And who is this person that will be able to send me home. I mean I know what you are doing, going all secretive on me, but as much as I agree it really makes everything dramatic and all, you should tell me about this stuff in a little more detail. I don't think I will be fulfilling any quest if all I can do is run around the country side trying to figure out what the hell I am doing there and trying to find a person that I don't know to send me home. Um, yeah that should go over well."
"That you must discover yourself."
"Yeah I figured you would say that, but can't you throw me a hint at all? I mean is the person that can send me home a person I know?"
"It is a possibility."
"What a minute! It's Gandalf isn't it? I mean it has to be, he's the only magical person that I know!"
Suddenly Galadriel became very morose, "Child, I must bestow upon you more misery than your heart should carry. Gandalf has fallen into shadow; he is no more."
"Oh God! What about the rest of them? Are they okay?"
"Aye, it was only Gandalf that has fallen. But do not bury yourself in your sorrow, hope remains."
"Well, I'm sure it does, but at the moment you sound like one of my teachers; Pandora's box and all. But shit, this just does absolutely nothing for the mood I am in. First I learn that some weird Elven lady is in my mind, then I have to go over all of my old memories, then I learn the old fart is dead! I should have stayed in bed!"
"Come, let us eat. It is meaningless to stand here and keep the rest of the guests waiting.
"Alrighty then."
*~*~*
Being the lucky person that I am, Galadriel and I arrived at the feast as everyone else was just finished seating themselves. We were the center of attention. I hated it.
Galadriel didn't wait for me as she descended the short flight of steps to the heavily laden tables. She walked up to the head table and took a seat beside a handsome blonde elf. I stood there for a few moments, contemplating my next move, when Galadriel decided it for me.
"Come, child. There is no need to stay hidden in the shadows. Join me for the meal."
Great, just great. As she said that everyone that was seated looked up at me. I mean I can't blame them, but I was really wishing that the floor was suddenly desperately hungry and would just swallow me in one bite.
I guess I just wasn't lucky. I wasn't swallowed.
I walked up to the first stair and slowly started to descend. I was going slowly because I was afraid if I went any faster I would fall on my face in the damn dress, not because I wanted to make an entrance. I got to the bottom of the stairs and then looked around for a seat.
No luck there either. The only seat that was open was beside Galadriel and between a bunch of people that I didn't recognize, on the head table, where everyone would see me and watch my while I was eating. As for the people that were going to sit around me, I didn't take much time to look, it was more of a glance, if that.
I suddenly lost my appetite.
I strode across the room quickly, only tripping once, and slide into the seat. I swear that my face was about three degrees shy of spontaneous combustion. I don't think I ever blushed that hard.
Finally, when I was done inspecting my hands, my plate and the table cloth, I looked up to see who I would be sitting with. When I saw I almost dropped my teeth! But, then again, I think I fit in perfectly with the rest of my company.
To my left was Gimli, Aragorn and Legolas sat to the other side of him, and the hobbits and Boromir were sitting in front of me, on the other side of the table. I suddenly heard a low chuckle. I looked over to Galadriel and saw that she was watching the little mouth hanging with great amusement. Actually, I think everyone in the room was enjoying the little show.
"What the hell! You planned this! Why didn't you tell me? I mean did you just want to make my friends and I look like idiot? That is about ten times worse then your little invasion of my mind's privacy-oh! Food!"
To my horror, that got even more laughs, but it surprised me so much that I lost my train of thought. Hell, I lost the whole damn station!
But, the food that was being brought in and set in front of me was utterly amazing! There was anything you could possibly think of!
Suddenly my stomach made a very loud noise that roughly resembled a cat being disemboweled. But don't get me wrong! It's not like I know what that sounds like, purely a speculation on my part!
I was mortified. The entire room heard it, I was sure! Almost instantly the everyone looked over to me. When I said that I was close to spontaneous combustion before, I think I may have actually combusted at that!
I tried to think how I could possibly cover that up, but nothing incredibly intelligent came to mind.
"Well, um, there is only one thing to say about something like that. Let's eat!"
Amazingly, everyone raised their glasses to me and started to eat!
I looked at everyone that was sitting by me at the table.
"Well, who saw that coming?"
*~*~*
A/N: That was a really long chapter! But, I think I did pretty damn well! What do you think?
I was just reminded by her, but when I said that last chapter with the 'Like A Virgin' song was suggested by many reviewers, but Emily was the first, so I would just like everyone to know, that it was not my idea, it was all her! Sorry it won't happen again, I'll remember to credit next time!
Please someone give me feedback on my little illustration idea! I would really like to know if it is a complete waste of time, or if it is something worth pursuing.
I'm awaiting anxiously your reviews (hint, hint)
~A~
Well, I hope everyone found that last one funny! I still can't believe that I have a whopping 168 reviews! I just can't believe it! I'm going to faint.... Well, maybe not.
I want to apologize for the lack of italics or bold face, or even different font in my story. My computer is being a complete ass and it won't let me do any of the special formatting. So, I would really appreciate it if you can just ignore that irritating glitch.
StarryStarryNight: Holy shit! I have my own groupie! Oh my God! Of course you can be one! I am so happy that you like it so much!
The Wolf Child: Not a problem, I'll try to keep the link in the update notice. That has gotta be a big help! Thank you for your input!
Emily: Sorry I forgot to credit you. I put it in at the end of the chapter. I'm still beating my head against the wall for that one! Thanks for all the compliments in the review, I always get a warm and fuzzy feeling when I read your reviews!
LeopardDance: I rock? My story rocks? No, no dear, you got it all wrong. You rock!
Europa: I hope this chapter gives you the low down on what Emily thinks of Galadriel, I wrote it with you in mind!
Cassie-bear01: I'm glad that you love my story so much. I just love it when I get reviews like yours. Thanks for making my day!
KindCalypso: So, I had you laughing? Well that just doubles the enjoyment of writing the story. Keep reading and I'll keep writing!
WeasleyTwinsLover1112: I'm so happy that you thought that the chapter was...interesting...I try to make them as funny as possible. Thanks for telling me I succeeded!
Zecorda: I'm so glad that you think my story is awesome and I am updating as quickly as possible!
Okay, I think that is everyone that reviewed on the last chapter!
Yes, I know. I have never done this before; list all of my reviewers, I mean. But, I have this disease, it's called complete lethargy. I know I'm not the only one with it! But, anyway, I figure I should do this. That way, all of my reviewers feel as if I am making contact with them; they'll feel closer to the author and will want to give back input more.
I am in desperate need of songs that Emily can sing. I am running out of them! Please feel free to e-mail me at abskii_79@hotmail.com with your ideas. More than likely I will use them and I promise that I will credit they idea to you. Scout's honor!
Okay! All you artists out there, time to shine! If you would like to do drawings of scenes from this story and have me add them into the font, I certainly could do that. I am thinking that this story needs illustrations! But, being an artist myself, I'm not sure that you would like to spend that much time on a piece and then just have it in a story. But, then again, free publicity! (Do I even need to add that your name will be plastered all over the chapter in tribute if you do? I thought not...)
I know it is kinda a gay idea, even though, I think may start on a picture, see if it will work out. But, if it strikes somebody as something they would like to do, well then hell, more power to you! Just e-mail me and we can talk it over, decide what you are going to do, what chapter it will appear in, etc. (If you have a picture that you would like added into an older chapter I will be more than happy to repost.)
I have no idea if Fanfiction has any ability to back this sort of thing, but I will certainly try it out. So, like I said drop me a line if you are interested!
If this doesn't work out then here comes a web page! (Insert evil laugh here.)
Anyway....on to the story before I get anymore off the wall ideas.
*~*~*
All four of us, (I had learned that the other elf with Maydenia was named Haldir,) were walking down to the feast. As it turns out, Haldir was Maydenia's betrothed and Unic was to be my escort to the function. (Okay, ladies, all of you that adore Haldir, please don't hurt me!)
We had been walking down brightly lit corridors for some time now, but Unic had yet to say a word. I looked up at him and saw that his lines were pressed together in a thin line.
"So, how are you doing?" I just couldn't not say something! I mean it was just too uncomfortable! But, then again, whenever I am nervous, I turn into a complete chatter box! It just can't be helped.
"I am fine."
Okay, well someone has a very bad case of PMS.
"That's it? Fine? No more?"
"I am fine." He repeated.
"Okay Mister Pissy-elf. Kudos to you too." I turned away from him, but not before I saw his face turn a nice shade of pink. I looked over at Maydenia and Haldir.
"Which one of you put him up to this?"
Both pointed at the other.
"Well, that was intelligent. Now, let me try again. Which one of you made him take me to this feast? I mean isn't it obvious that he would rather play Mister Squeaky for some Warg?"
Maydenia finally spoke, after she got over her enormous fit of giggles. "It was Haldir's idea. He decided that since Unic was quite taken with you when you were coming here, that it was a perfect opportunity for you two to meet up again."
I rolled my eyes at the two of them, "Okay, no one wanted to go with the 'dirty human girl'?"
Haldir shook his head, "Many of the male elves are now harboring ill feelings towards you after the liquid fire incident."
"I'm telling you it was not 'liquid fire'! It was Mace. All it is, is a pepper spray. It's supposed to temporarily blind an attacker to let the victim get away. I just thought that you wanted to eat me. It's not like I run around, 'I don't like you, eat Mace! Nope don't like you either!' I'm not that kind of person."
Haldir nodded in understanding, "I shall explain that to the others."
We walked on in silence for a while. It was getting really boring. Haldir and Maydenia were so wrapped up in each other that it was hard to get a word in edge wise, and Unic was still not looking at me. I think that 'Pissy-elf' comment struck home.
'You are worried child.'
I whipped around and started to look in all directions. I had heard a voice. It wasn't like the other voices that I had been hearing lately. No, this one was filled with power, yet it was gentle and elegant. It wasn't like someone was talking even. It was like someone had written the words and I was the only one that could read them. It was very odd.
I noticed that the other three were looking at me funny. I gave them a questioning look.
Unic finally decided to speak to me, "You yelped and clapped your hands over your ears. What is wrong?"
Thinking quickly, I answered, "Nothing, I heard something and I reacted. I must be hanging around you Elf people, I mean your rubbing off on me. When ever I hear a noise now I slam my hands over my ears. What are you doing to me?"
I continued to walk and they hurried to catch up.
That was close. They are already questioning my mental stability. Telling them that I am hearing voices is going to do absolutely nothing for me. Hearing voices is never good, no matter what world you are in.
'I have longed to meet with you Emily. Come, we have much to discuss.'
I turned all the way around and started to walk back the way we had just come. I was checking all of the darker corners when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I whipped around and came about three centimeters to punching out Haldir.
"Sorry. Reflexes, they get the best of me every once in a while."
"I see. You have been very wary lately. Are you feeling all right?"
"Maybe you should stay in bed. You cannot be properly healed after only three days. Come, I'll take you back to your room." Maydenia said and she grabbed my hand and started to pull me back to my room.
Not bed! I am not going to lay there and do nothing for the next few days. If you think I'm insane now, wait until I get out of there then!
"No, Maydenia, I'm fine. It's just that after fighting your way through the wilderness for what seems like forever, you learn to rely on your instincts. I guess I just haven't turned them off yet. I'm perfectly all right. Don't worry about me." I smiled widely and looked at her pleadingly.
She sighed, "If that is the way milady feels."
Good, she bought the bull shit.
Off to dinner!
*~*~*
Finally we reached a set of very wide and winding stairs.
"What's this? I thought we were going to go fill our faces?" I asked.
"The Lady of the Woods would like to hold audience with you before the feast shall start. She is waiting." Haldir beckoned up to the top of the stairs.
"Okay, so we should just go up. She knows we are coming?"
"We are not going with you. She has requested that she sees you alone. Now, go, she is waiting."
"I don't suppose there is an elevator on the other side or something is there?"
"A what?"
"Never mind. Gotcha. Ascending the stairs, I am going up now! Look at me go! I just can't seem to get going fast enough! I'm faster than the wind! I-"
"Lady, what are you doing?"
I looked behind me at Haldir. "I'm hyping myself up for the visit. I mean for all I know, this Galadribble is an axe murderer in disguise! I have to get my courage up!"
I turned away from them and placed my foot on the bottom step again.
Well, Lady Galadribble, here I come!
*~*~*
"What the hell were these people thinking? By the time they reach the top of the stairs they are to tired to hold a decent conversation!"
It was true, it was virtually impossible to talk right then. I was panting to hard to even think! I had counted the stairs as I was climbing them. Even though I had lost count somewhere in the middle, I was thinking there were about three hundred and ninety five stairs. I was just a little bit tired.
I got to the top and leaned up against a wall and put my head between my knees. I stayed like that for a good five minutes. I straightened up and promptly fell back against the wall with a scream.
"What the hell! Why are you just watching me? You scared the shit out of me!
A woman was standing not ten feet away from me, staring at me intently. She radiated power and wisdom, but she really made me uneasy. I don't know what it was. She was dressed in a magnificent white gown and had beautiful long, long blonde hair. Okay, I was wrong, she was really freaking me out!
"Um, hi. Uh, I was supposed to meet Lady Galadribble up here, but I don't think she is here right now, so um, bye?"
I started to walk away from the lady, but, I suddenly heard/saw that damn voice again.
'I still desire to meet with you, dear child. Wait.'
"Oh God! I'm still hearing voices!" I moaned. "This can't be good."
'Do not worry yourself. You are of sane mind.'
"I am really losing it! The voices inside my head are trying to tell me that I'm not crazy! That is the ultimate insanity!"
I looked up at the lady, just to see how she was taking my little relevation. But, she was still looking at me intently, but I was starting to see a slight smile play around her lips.
"Oh, right, so you think this is funny? Well it isn't! Here I am, contemplating my sanity, and you are laughing at me? That is not very nice at all, in fact, it's down right rude! I demand to speak with Lady Galadribble, right now!"
Finally she spoke to me, "She is called Lady Galadriel."
"What? Oh right. Please tell her Imperial Highness that I apologize for mutilating her name," I drawled.
"I forgive you."
"WHAT?"
"I am Lady Galadriel, I have desired to speak with you. We shall be but a moment and then we can arrive at the feast."
'For I know how much you love to eat.'
"What the hell! That's you in my head!"
"Yes, child, it is. I apologize for any unease I may have bestowed upon you."
"What? Oh, no, screw all the insanity checks. Can you teach me how to do that?"
*~*~*
As it turns out, Galadriel and I hit it off pretty well. I mean she was rather like a stick in the mud, but that can be expected. No one here really appreciates my kind of humor, other than the hobbits.
But anyway, Galadriel wanted to play 20 questions with me to find out how I got to Middle Earth. So, being incredibly hungry at that point, I told her everything that I could and then asked if I could leave.
"Are you so worried about food, that you no longer ponder your return route home?"
That stopped me in my tracks.
"Well, I guess I do want to go home, but I think I am in over my head here. Do you know what I mean?"
"Nay, I do not."
"Well, what if you did that little invading my head little trick and I could show you? But that is all the inside the head looks you are going to get. I am not going to run around with a 'No Trespassing' sign nailed to my forehead. Got it?"
"Yes, that would be much easier. Relax."
*~*~*
'Now, open your mind to me. Relax and think about what has happened to you.'
I closed my eyes, I mean you have to get the effect of major concentration. I ran over all of my memories. At first I got the ones that had just happened to me, I mean the ones that revolved around my Middle Earth time. But, then I started to pull up more personal ones. My parents watching me at one of my track meets, me splashing in the YMCA pool with a bunch of my teenage friends, my graduation, with my mom laughing and crying at the same time while my dad sat there looking like a peacock all puffed up with pride. Then, some of my most painful memories filled my mind's eye: when I heard about the car accident that killed my father, sitting beside my mother's hospital bed, seeing her hooked up to numerous tubes that were fighting to keep her alive, watching her as she took her last breath, my parent's joint funeral. It was too much.
I snapped my eyes open and broke my 'link' with Galadriel.
"I think that's enough invading my mind space. You got the drift of what I am up against, right?"
I turned away from her and looked out over the woods of Lothlorien, as I now learned they were called. As stealthily as I could, I wiped away the rogue tears that were pooling in my eyes. Normally these memories didn't affect me as badly as they did just now.
"I see why you think you cannot leave just yet. You are, how you put it, 'in over your head.' You must finish what you have unwillingly started. You must see this quest through. But you will be able to return to your home, there is one that can help you."
"Uh, that is great and all. I mean I have always wanted to do the whole quest thing, but um, maybe it would help to tell me what the quest is. I think that would be a key point, because as of right now, I don't have a clue what I am doing here, or what my purpose is. And who is this person that will be able to send me home. I mean I know what you are doing, going all secretive on me, but as much as I agree it really makes everything dramatic and all, you should tell me about this stuff in a little more detail. I don't think I will be fulfilling any quest if all I can do is run around the country side trying to figure out what the hell I am doing there and trying to find a person that I don't know to send me home. Um, yeah that should go over well."
"That you must discover yourself."
"Yeah I figured you would say that, but can't you throw me a hint at all? I mean is the person that can send me home a person I know?"
"It is a possibility."
"What a minute! It's Gandalf isn't it? I mean it has to be, he's the only magical person that I know!"
Suddenly Galadriel became very morose, "Child, I must bestow upon you more misery than your heart should carry. Gandalf has fallen into shadow; he is no more."
"Oh God! What about the rest of them? Are they okay?"
"Aye, it was only Gandalf that has fallen. But do not bury yourself in your sorrow, hope remains."
"Well, I'm sure it does, but at the moment you sound like one of my teachers; Pandora's box and all. But shit, this just does absolutely nothing for the mood I am in. First I learn that some weird Elven lady is in my mind, then I have to go over all of my old memories, then I learn the old fart is dead! I should have stayed in bed!"
"Come, let us eat. It is meaningless to stand here and keep the rest of the guests waiting.
"Alrighty then."
*~*~*
Being the lucky person that I am, Galadriel and I arrived at the feast as everyone else was just finished seating themselves. We were the center of attention. I hated it.
Galadriel didn't wait for me as she descended the short flight of steps to the heavily laden tables. She walked up to the head table and took a seat beside a handsome blonde elf. I stood there for a few moments, contemplating my next move, when Galadriel decided it for me.
"Come, child. There is no need to stay hidden in the shadows. Join me for the meal."
Great, just great. As she said that everyone that was seated looked up at me. I mean I can't blame them, but I was really wishing that the floor was suddenly desperately hungry and would just swallow me in one bite.
I guess I just wasn't lucky. I wasn't swallowed.
I walked up to the first stair and slowly started to descend. I was going slowly because I was afraid if I went any faster I would fall on my face in the damn dress, not because I wanted to make an entrance. I got to the bottom of the stairs and then looked around for a seat.
No luck there either. The only seat that was open was beside Galadriel and between a bunch of people that I didn't recognize, on the head table, where everyone would see me and watch my while I was eating. As for the people that were going to sit around me, I didn't take much time to look, it was more of a glance, if that.
I suddenly lost my appetite.
I strode across the room quickly, only tripping once, and slide into the seat. I swear that my face was about three degrees shy of spontaneous combustion. I don't think I ever blushed that hard.
Finally, when I was done inspecting my hands, my plate and the table cloth, I looked up to see who I would be sitting with. When I saw I almost dropped my teeth! But, then again, I think I fit in perfectly with the rest of my company.
To my left was Gimli, Aragorn and Legolas sat to the other side of him, and the hobbits and Boromir were sitting in front of me, on the other side of the table. I suddenly heard a low chuckle. I looked over to Galadriel and saw that she was watching the little mouth hanging with great amusement. Actually, I think everyone in the room was enjoying the little show.
"What the hell! You planned this! Why didn't you tell me? I mean did you just want to make my friends and I look like idiot? That is about ten times worse then your little invasion of my mind's privacy-oh! Food!"
To my horror, that got even more laughs, but it surprised me so much that I lost my train of thought. Hell, I lost the whole damn station!
But, the food that was being brought in and set in front of me was utterly amazing! There was anything you could possibly think of!
Suddenly my stomach made a very loud noise that roughly resembled a cat being disemboweled. But don't get me wrong! It's not like I know what that sounds like, purely a speculation on my part!
I was mortified. The entire room heard it, I was sure! Almost instantly the everyone looked over to me. When I said that I was close to spontaneous combustion before, I think I may have actually combusted at that!
I tried to think how I could possibly cover that up, but nothing incredibly intelligent came to mind.
"Well, um, there is only one thing to say about something like that. Let's eat!"
Amazingly, everyone raised their glasses to me and started to eat!
I looked at everyone that was sitting by me at the table.
"Well, who saw that coming?"
*~*~*
A/N: That was a really long chapter! But, I think I did pretty damn well! What do you think?
I was just reminded by her, but when I said that last chapter with the 'Like A Virgin' song was suggested by many reviewers, but Emily was the first, so I would just like everyone to know, that it was not my idea, it was all her! Sorry it won't happen again, I'll remember to credit next time!
Please someone give me feedback on my little illustration idea! I would really like to know if it is a complete waste of time, or if it is something worth pursuing.
I'm awaiting anxiously your reviews (hint, hint)
~A~