A/N: Wow! Tons of reviews again! I know this is normally where I thank everyone individually, but I went through the last chapter, and sadly, there were more thank you's than actual chapter. So, I have made a life altering decision, I will just do my little spiel and then if you have an actual question about the story, give me your e-mail address in your review or send me an e-mail. (Look for the address in my bio. It's there, I swear!)
Well, I think that about wraps this up. This is the shortest Author's Note I have had in quite a few chapters. Hmmm, I should learn from it.
Story time kiddies!
*~*~*
"Gimli! You do not swing an ax around like Jason in a very magical forest for God's sake!"
As we had been walking through the creepy trees, Gimli had been getting progressively more ax happy. Pretty soon he was doing little pirouettes and holding his ax in the air with a very disconcerting glint in his eye. That is a major no-no if you are in a very magical forest, especially if it looked like the trees had not put down roots.
Aragorn turned around to see what I squawking about. He looked at Gimli and gave me a look, "Gimli!"
He looked at Aragorn, "Huh?"
Oh boy! We have an articulate Dwarf in our midst people!
"Lower you ax!"
"Oh!"
When Gimli lowered his ax, he spotted something on the leaves and ground around him. He bent down and stuck his fingers in it and then straightened up with it. He then held his hand up to what little light there was and studied the dark stain that was on them. Gimli then shrugged and stuck his finger in his mouth and promptly spat out whatever was on them.
"Orc blood!"
"Oh! Oh! That is just nasty! My God boy! Didn't you mother ever tell you, you don't just run around swiping crap off the ground and eating it? It is not right! Yuck!"
Gimli just looked at me and then rolled his eyes and walked over to Aragorn and Legolas. I followed him; it's not like I had anywhere else to go after all.
Aragorn was once again bent over the ground studying it. I should just go out and dig up and chunk of land for his next birthday.
"These are strange tracks."
I looked closer, "What tracks?"
All three of them gave me a dirty look. Fine, I mean I went through my whole life being told by people that I need to get my head out of the clouds and concentrate on the things going on around me. To tell you the truth, I like the clouds better than this.
Legolas must have given up on the 'tracks' because he was walking around us looking up into the trees with a wondrous expression on his face.
"This forest is old. Very old. Full of memories...and anger. The trees are speaking to each other."
I raised my eyebrows at him, "And this is supposed to be normal?"
"I do not know."
"I am officially creeped out now. First talking horses and now talking trees. What's next? A talking beluga whale?"
Suddenly both Legolas and Aragorn lapsed into Elvish, needless to say I couldn't understand them. It was only a few short words, but by the tone of their voices, I could tell it was urgent business.
"The White Wizard approaches," Legolas stated.
"Well that's good right. I mean if he is white then he must be a good guy, right? Right? Right!"
They all ignored me, but that was okay, I don't think I was even looking for an answer to tell you the truth.
"Do not let him speak. He will put a spell on us! We must be quick."
I noticed all of their hands were snaking to their weapons. I grasped the handle of my sword that was dangling from my waist. Yes, I know I would not be able to do much with it, but ever hear of a security blanket? When in an evil forest the best security blanket is something that is very, very sharp.
In a blink of an eye, all three of the warriors swung around and readied their weapons. I was a little slower on the draw, I couldn't even get my sword out of the damn scabbard. But even though the guys were fast, they were still beaten. Both Gimli's ax and Legolas's arrow were deflected and Aragorn's sword glowed red with unexpected heat. He dropped it was a cry of surprise. I looked down to see why the damn sword would not come out of the damn scabbard and saw that the same force that had effected my buddies had fused the sword in the scabbard. See! It wasn't my fault!
From right before us, a blinding white light became present. It was almost too bright too look at, but you could just see the form of a person inside of it.
A deep booming voice addressed us, "You are tracking the footsteps of two young hobbits." It wasn't a question. There is just no privacy in this world anymore. Can't even track your two kidnapped, hairy-footed, friends anymore without the entire world knowing it.
"Where are they?" demanded a rather peeved off Aragorn.
"They passed this way the day before yesterday. They met with someone they did not expect. Does that comfort you?"
"Um, not really. If they met with the local Welcome Wagon, then that is all good. But if they met you? Nope, no comfort there buddy."
"Your tongue, woman, will be the death of you."
"No way! You're a fortune teller too! That is just crazy!"
Legolas creeped up behind me and clapped a hand over my mouth. I can take a hint, obviously they were worried I was going to piss off the psycho with my unmatchable wit and humor.
"Who are you? Show yourself!"
Slowly the light dimmed until we could see who was standing there. I couldn't believe it! It was Gandalf, but instead of the dirty gray clothes, he was dressed in pure white!
Legolas had taken his hand from my mouth in his surprise, I took the opportunity to open my big mouth.
"Someone fell into a vat of bleach."
"It cannot be! You fell!" an aghast Aragorn stammered.
"Into a bottle of bleach," I muttered.
"Through fire and water," corrected Gandalf.
Gandalf then told us about how he fell through the center of the mines but ended up on top of a mountain and then beat the shit out of the Balrog, whatever that is, and then died but someone told him he wasn't finished on Middle-Earth yet and sent him back. To tell you the truth, I am still trying to figure out the whole 'fall through center of mountain but end up on peak of it.' Too much for me to handle.
"Gandalf."
"Gandalf? Oh yes. That's what they used to call me. Gandalf the Gray. That was my name."
"Gandalf!"
"Um, yeah, we kinda already covered that aspect of the conversation there Gimli."
"I am Gandalf the White now. And I come back to you now at the turn of the tide."
"Woah! Deep. But personally, I think you should call yourself Gandalf the Cockroach. You just don't die!"
*~*~*
We had been walking in silence for sometime when Gandalf finally started to talk again. Here I thought he was mad at me about the cockroach thing!
"One stage of the journey is over another begins. War has come to Rohan. We must ride to Edoras with all speed."
I digested that information for a moment and then added to it, "Why should we help those guys?"
"Why should we not?"
"Oh, off hand I can think of a few reasons."
"What are they, pray tell."
"Maybe it has something to do with the fact that for three days they had tied me to my horse and gagged my because they thought I was a damn spy! But then again, that could just be me."
I stormed ahead of the group. Even worse I heard laughing behind me, they were all laughing at me!
*~*~*
Finally we got out of that hell hole that people call Fangorn Forest. We walked out and saw our horses were there, waiting for us.
"Hey Babes, what's shaking?"
'Notta.'
I walked over to her and rubbed her nose.
"That was less than fun in there."
'Really? I thought walking through a haunted forest would be great fun.'
"Bitch."
I turned from Babes and saw that Gandalf was watching the exchange with much interest.
"This is my horse Babes. When we were in Lothlorien, Lady Galadriel mind linked the two of us so we could communicate. She is a complete bitch too, Babes I mean, not Galadriel."
"I see," chuckled Gandalf. "It is nice to meet you, Babes."
'Emily, tell the white guy same here.'
"She says same here."
He nodded at me and then turned out to look at the empty plains. He then pursed his lips and whistled in a way that I thought my ear drums were going to shatter. Suddenly a gorgeous white horse came galloping into view.
"That is one of the Mearas, unless my eyes are cheated by some spell," said Legolas in awe.
The horse finally reached us and put his head on Gandalf's shoulder. He was huge! He was probably the most beautiful horse that I have ever seen.
"Shadowfax. He's the lord of all horses and has been my friend through many dangers."
We all nodded our heads to Shadowfax, even the horses.
"We must ride!" announced Gandalf.
All five of us clambered atop our horses and took off. I noticed Babes was staring at Shadowfax.
I leaned over her head and said into her ear, "Down girl."
*~*~*
A/N: Done! Gandalf has returned once again! Well the next few chapters may not have a whole lot of action, but they will have a whole lot of Emily-humor! And that is a promise!
~A~
Well, I think that about wraps this up. This is the shortest Author's Note I have had in quite a few chapters. Hmmm, I should learn from it.
Story time kiddies!
*~*~*
"Gimli! You do not swing an ax around like Jason in a very magical forest for God's sake!"
As we had been walking through the creepy trees, Gimli had been getting progressively more ax happy. Pretty soon he was doing little pirouettes and holding his ax in the air with a very disconcerting glint in his eye. That is a major no-no if you are in a very magical forest, especially if it looked like the trees had not put down roots.
Aragorn turned around to see what I squawking about. He looked at Gimli and gave me a look, "Gimli!"
He looked at Aragorn, "Huh?"
Oh boy! We have an articulate Dwarf in our midst people!
"Lower you ax!"
"Oh!"
When Gimli lowered his ax, he spotted something on the leaves and ground around him. He bent down and stuck his fingers in it and then straightened up with it. He then held his hand up to what little light there was and studied the dark stain that was on them. Gimli then shrugged and stuck his finger in his mouth and promptly spat out whatever was on them.
"Orc blood!"
"Oh! Oh! That is just nasty! My God boy! Didn't you mother ever tell you, you don't just run around swiping crap off the ground and eating it? It is not right! Yuck!"
Gimli just looked at me and then rolled his eyes and walked over to Aragorn and Legolas. I followed him; it's not like I had anywhere else to go after all.
Aragorn was once again bent over the ground studying it. I should just go out and dig up and chunk of land for his next birthday.
"These are strange tracks."
I looked closer, "What tracks?"
All three of them gave me a dirty look. Fine, I mean I went through my whole life being told by people that I need to get my head out of the clouds and concentrate on the things going on around me. To tell you the truth, I like the clouds better than this.
Legolas must have given up on the 'tracks' because he was walking around us looking up into the trees with a wondrous expression on his face.
"This forest is old. Very old. Full of memories...and anger. The trees are speaking to each other."
I raised my eyebrows at him, "And this is supposed to be normal?"
"I do not know."
"I am officially creeped out now. First talking horses and now talking trees. What's next? A talking beluga whale?"
Suddenly both Legolas and Aragorn lapsed into Elvish, needless to say I couldn't understand them. It was only a few short words, but by the tone of their voices, I could tell it was urgent business.
"The White Wizard approaches," Legolas stated.
"Well that's good right. I mean if he is white then he must be a good guy, right? Right? Right!"
They all ignored me, but that was okay, I don't think I was even looking for an answer to tell you the truth.
"Do not let him speak. He will put a spell on us! We must be quick."
I noticed all of their hands were snaking to their weapons. I grasped the handle of my sword that was dangling from my waist. Yes, I know I would not be able to do much with it, but ever hear of a security blanket? When in an evil forest the best security blanket is something that is very, very sharp.
In a blink of an eye, all three of the warriors swung around and readied their weapons. I was a little slower on the draw, I couldn't even get my sword out of the damn scabbard. But even though the guys were fast, they were still beaten. Both Gimli's ax and Legolas's arrow were deflected and Aragorn's sword glowed red with unexpected heat. He dropped it was a cry of surprise. I looked down to see why the damn sword would not come out of the damn scabbard and saw that the same force that had effected my buddies had fused the sword in the scabbard. See! It wasn't my fault!
From right before us, a blinding white light became present. It was almost too bright too look at, but you could just see the form of a person inside of it.
A deep booming voice addressed us, "You are tracking the footsteps of two young hobbits." It wasn't a question. There is just no privacy in this world anymore. Can't even track your two kidnapped, hairy-footed, friends anymore without the entire world knowing it.
"Where are they?" demanded a rather peeved off Aragorn.
"They passed this way the day before yesterday. They met with someone they did not expect. Does that comfort you?"
"Um, not really. If they met with the local Welcome Wagon, then that is all good. But if they met you? Nope, no comfort there buddy."
"Your tongue, woman, will be the death of you."
"No way! You're a fortune teller too! That is just crazy!"
Legolas creeped up behind me and clapped a hand over my mouth. I can take a hint, obviously they were worried I was going to piss off the psycho with my unmatchable wit and humor.
"Who are you? Show yourself!"
Slowly the light dimmed until we could see who was standing there. I couldn't believe it! It was Gandalf, but instead of the dirty gray clothes, he was dressed in pure white!
Legolas had taken his hand from my mouth in his surprise, I took the opportunity to open my big mouth.
"Someone fell into a vat of bleach."
"It cannot be! You fell!" an aghast Aragorn stammered.
"Into a bottle of bleach," I muttered.
"Through fire and water," corrected Gandalf.
Gandalf then told us about how he fell through the center of the mines but ended up on top of a mountain and then beat the shit out of the Balrog, whatever that is, and then died but someone told him he wasn't finished on Middle-Earth yet and sent him back. To tell you the truth, I am still trying to figure out the whole 'fall through center of mountain but end up on peak of it.' Too much for me to handle.
"Gandalf."
"Gandalf? Oh yes. That's what they used to call me. Gandalf the Gray. That was my name."
"Gandalf!"
"Um, yeah, we kinda already covered that aspect of the conversation there Gimli."
"I am Gandalf the White now. And I come back to you now at the turn of the tide."
"Woah! Deep. But personally, I think you should call yourself Gandalf the Cockroach. You just don't die!"
*~*~*
We had been walking in silence for sometime when Gandalf finally started to talk again. Here I thought he was mad at me about the cockroach thing!
"One stage of the journey is over another begins. War has come to Rohan. We must ride to Edoras with all speed."
I digested that information for a moment and then added to it, "Why should we help those guys?"
"Why should we not?"
"Oh, off hand I can think of a few reasons."
"What are they, pray tell."
"Maybe it has something to do with the fact that for three days they had tied me to my horse and gagged my because they thought I was a damn spy! But then again, that could just be me."
I stormed ahead of the group. Even worse I heard laughing behind me, they were all laughing at me!
*~*~*
Finally we got out of that hell hole that people call Fangorn Forest. We walked out and saw our horses were there, waiting for us.
"Hey Babes, what's shaking?"
'Notta.'
I walked over to her and rubbed her nose.
"That was less than fun in there."
'Really? I thought walking through a haunted forest would be great fun.'
"Bitch."
I turned from Babes and saw that Gandalf was watching the exchange with much interest.
"This is my horse Babes. When we were in Lothlorien, Lady Galadriel mind linked the two of us so we could communicate. She is a complete bitch too, Babes I mean, not Galadriel."
"I see," chuckled Gandalf. "It is nice to meet you, Babes."
'Emily, tell the white guy same here.'
"She says same here."
He nodded at me and then turned out to look at the empty plains. He then pursed his lips and whistled in a way that I thought my ear drums were going to shatter. Suddenly a gorgeous white horse came galloping into view.
"That is one of the Mearas, unless my eyes are cheated by some spell," said Legolas in awe.
The horse finally reached us and put his head on Gandalf's shoulder. He was huge! He was probably the most beautiful horse that I have ever seen.
"Shadowfax. He's the lord of all horses and has been my friend through many dangers."
We all nodded our heads to Shadowfax, even the horses.
"We must ride!" announced Gandalf.
All five of us clambered atop our horses and took off. I noticed Babes was staring at Shadowfax.
I leaned over her head and said into her ear, "Down girl."
*~*~*
A/N: Done! Gandalf has returned once again! Well the next few chapters may not have a whole lot of action, but they will have a whole lot of Emily-humor! And that is a promise!
~A~