A/N: Well, here it is folks. We are finally getting into the kick ass action baby! Can you tell I'm a wee bit excited?
I apologize again if the time line factor of this is a bit off, but I need it this way to work for me. I don't think it's a big thing, but there may be an extra day between the Orc and Warg attack and Helm's Deep. But like I said, I don't think it's a big thing.
Thanks for the reviews and all that other stuff!
Story time!
*~*~*
'What do we do now?'
"Got me."
'My, aren't we helpful...'
"Well excuse me. At the moment I am trying to figure out how to save all our asses-it isn't looking too good."
I was still in shock at seeing such a swarm of those hideous beings. I don't think Babes was feeling to well about it either; she looked a bit green if you ask me, for a horse that is.
"Do you think that the guys at Helmet's Deep know about these things' numbers?"
'It's Helm's Deep, Emily. I don't know. But what I do know is that we should not be wondering about this; we should be moving on.'
"I think that is a good idea. Can you handle it if I am on your back, or are you still too pooped to put?"
'Too tired. You get to walk.'
"Goody."
*~*~*
"Can I ride yet? Pleeeeaaassee? Pretty, pretty please?"
'No, the walking will do you some good.'
"Yeah, it certainly could, but then again, with me walking we aren't making nearly as good time as we could be..."
I think she got my point. She stopped and I heard a short, 'Get on.'
I'm good.
The instant I was seated, she was off running again. Mind you, this was no I'm-so-exhausted-that-I-can-barely-put-one-foot-in-front-of-the-other run, this was a full out man-it-feels-good-to-get-moving-again gallop.
"Ass."
I heard a laugh in my head and then I just ignored her annoying comments. It really did feel good to be moving at a fast clip again. I was still a bit nervous with the Orcs so close by us, but the wind whipping across my face and through my hair quickly dispelled any bad notions.
I leaned over Babes's neck and shouted into her ear, "At this pace, we should be there shortly. Good going!"
'Thanks, but that is only if my heart doesn't rupture first!'
Doing my best 'Waterboy' impression, I pumped my fist in the air and called out, "You can du it!"
*~*~*
Some time during the night, Babes had slowed her headlong rush to a more measured pace. Slowly the rocking motion lulled me into a deep sleep.
Suddenly I was shook most brutally out of it when Babes stopped and snorted loudly.
'We're here.'
I opened my eyes and saw that it was close to dawn; the horizon was stained a blood red. I motioned in the horizon's direction to Babes.
"Think it's a sign?"
'I don't know, but I sure hope not. I'm too young to die! I want to have a family, grow old with someone!'
"I thought you said that you were emotionally scared and that you hated children?"
'Oh. Right. Scratch that. I'm still too young to die though.'
I ignored her and turned and looked back to the where we had come. Just on the horizon, you could make out a dark swarm-the Orcs. They must have stopped to collect themselves for the upcoming battle. If they had not stopped, they would have easily over taken us.
I sighed and looked to the front of us again. There, in all it's glory, was Helm's Deep. It was nestled into the side of a mountain, so it was backed by the rock on three of its sides. There were two enormous walls wrapping around the fourth side. It was a strong fort, but if the walls fell, there was no escape. So in other words, if the enemy got through the walls, we were screwed. Pleasant thought, no?
I scratched Babes behind the ears, "Come on, let's go."
'No wait. I'm tired and hungry. Let's stop and wait here for a little bit. It's highly unlikely that they have any grass in that place. If I'm going to die, I want to die with a full stomach.'
"Well, I guess I could use a bit more sleep too. As of right now, we look like something the cat drug in."
'Speak for yourself.'
But, she just left it at that. She was already stuffing her face for all that it was worth. I shook my head and chuckled. I leaned back in the fragrant grass and got the last bit of shut eye that I would get for quite sometime.
*~*~*
'Emily! Look!'
I immediately sat upright and looked around, "What is it? Are the Orcs on the move again!"
'No, not yet anyway. But look down there.'
I gazed down from the little hill that we were situated on, and sure enough, there was a rider walking his horse towards the stronghold.
"Can you tell who it is?"
'Nope. Should we go see?'
"Yes, lets."
*~*~*
Just as we were getting close enough to make out the rider clearly, the gate of Helm's Deep opened up and the rider was swallowed.
"Damn, come on! Let's see who finally decided to join the party."
With that, Babes broke into her head long run again. Within minutes, we had reached the gates too, but they didn't immediately open like they did before.
'I feel so loved.'
I ignored her and started to shout, "Hey! Hey up there! Open up! Let us in!"
At first I didn't see any movement, but then I saw a head pop up from the top of the wall. Just as soon as I spotted it, it disappeared again. I sat there for a good five minutes before I realize they were not going to open the gates for me.
"What the hell?" I muttered to Babes. I took a deep breath and tried again, "What is wrong with you people? Let me in! I have been chased across the country side with a couple of butt-ugly creatures nipping at my ass and when I finally find a safe place, you won't open the damn doors! For the last time! OPEN THE DAMN DOORS BEFORE I BREAK THEM DOWN!"
Nothing happened.
I was just about to make good of my threat, when the gates swung open.
"About damn time!" I called out.
Babes walked in through the doors with me leading her. Boy, if we were expecting a welcome, we were sorely mistaken. I thought we would get a better welcome if I was walking instead of riding, but I was wrong again.
All of the people were silent as death. Bad analogy, I know, but it was true. They just sat along the wall and stared at us. I was just getting officially creeped out when I heard a shout and saw a hairy flash come flying at me.
"Gimli?" I asked the hair ball as he attached himself to my waist.
"Lass, I thought you were dead! We all did! What happened?"
I peeled the dwarf off from around my midriff when something above me caught my eye. I saw Aragorn and Legolas talking and Legolas handed Aragorn something. They then clasped shoulders and started to walk away.
"What happened to Aragorn? He looks like he was run over by a truck."
"During the battle with the Wargs, we all believed him to be dead. He went over a cliff into a river beneath. Only now has he arrived and proved us wrong. Come, I am sure the Elf has told him that you are-were still missing and he is worried."
"Ah, hear that Babes? They really do love me!"
'Yeah, yeah.' She tossed her head in aggravation that no one was greeting her like they were me.
Gimli then surprised me and walked over to Babes and embraced her lowered head, "I am relieved that you are well, Lady Babes." He stepped back from the stunned horse and grabbed my arm and started pulling me along behind him.
'That was unexpected.'
I laughed at her and continued along in Gimli's wake. I then started to notice that the silence of the people was really surprise at seeing me alive. Yeah! That's me, Miss Unpredictability!
I quickly ran back up to Gimli's side when I noticed I was lagging behind. I caught up to him just as he was struggling to open a couple of massive doors.
"Here, I got it for you!"
I walked quickly up to the offending doors and threw them open with some effort. I walked in and immediately stopped. There in front of me were a whole mess of people-Théoden, Legolas, Aragorn, Éowyn, and countless other military men.
"Uh, if I am interrupting something, I can just come back later."
Instantly there was a great uproar and everyone was racing over to me. Aragorn engulfed me in a hug and Legolas clasped my shoulders with both arms. I noticed Théoden hung back slightly, but he had a massive grin on his face. When Aragorn released me, Éowyn was there to take his place. I noticed she had tears in her eyes.
"Woah! Woah there people!"
They all slowly settled down, but I still saw that everyone present was wearing an idiotic smile.
"I haven't been gone that long!"
"No," answered Éowyn, "But when you did not arrive, we began to worry. The last someone saw of you was when you were racing in the opposite direction with two Orcan riders following you."
"Yeah, I know, not too smart on my part. They were getting pretty close too. But they did eventually stop. Besides, if I hadn't, they would have gotten to the people. They were bent on killing something."
Théoden then spoke up, "Then you have our gratitude. When I was enlightened about your disappearance, I thought that they were chasing you-not that you were drawing them away from my unarmed people. You have my thanks."
I grinned and called out over my shoulder, "Hear that Babes? Our stupidity made us heroes!"
'Your stupidity, it was your idea. But I will happily ride along on your coat-tails.'
I laughed and looked over at Théoden, "She says it was no problem."
He nodded, "Come, we must finish this."
Slowly everyone returned to their previous positions. I followed Éowyn and took a seat next to her.
"Continue, Aragorn. You say a great host you saw?" asked Théoden.
Aragorn nodded gravely, "All of Isengard is emptied."
Théoden sighed, "How many?"
"Ten thousand strong at least."
I had been drifting off with my thoughts, until that last comment caught my attention again.
"You saw them too?" I blurted out.
Again everyone turned their attention to me, but I ignored them.
"What do you mean?" asked Aragorn.
"The great swarm of those things that are coming our way."
"The Orcs? Aye, I saw them."
"Nah, these weren't Orcs. They were about Legolas's height, but not nearly as good looking." I thought for a minute, "Actually, I think they are like the things that were chasing me that one time."
Immediately Aragorn leapt to his feet, "Uruk-Hai! Were they Uruk-Hai, Emily? I was not close enough to see for myself."
"Yeah I think so. I mean the name sounds familiar. All I know is that these guys are really big and really ugly."
"Then it is worse then we thought. It is an army bred for a single purpose: to destroy the world of men. They will be here by nightfall." Stated Aragorn in a tired voice.
"Yeah except there you are wrong. Sure they will be here by nightfall, but they are not totally bent on killing only men. Don't forget the Elves and the Dwarves." I mentioned.
Théoden shook his head sadly, "Let them come." He got up and walked away from out little gathering.
I heard one of the guards say, "We shall never make it."
Éowyn automatically said, "We will. We will all make it."
"Famous last words," I muttered.
*~*~*
A/N: Okay, I lied. So this is not where the action starts, but it is leading up to is. I also know that this chapter wasn't terribly funny, but I have a feeling that the next chapter will be out shortly. Not only am I starting to get into this story again, but I have my own personal slave driver. I won't mention names, you know who you are! Lol.
Sorry this is so short, but what can I say. I did get it out six days after the last chapter. I would say that is pretty damn good for me.
By the way, I do not own 'The Waterboy' and if you did notice this, the 'du' was spelled like that on purpose. If you have seen the movie, then you know the pronunciation that I was going for.
Hope you liked it.
~A~
I apologize again if the time line factor of this is a bit off, but I need it this way to work for me. I don't think it's a big thing, but there may be an extra day between the Orc and Warg attack and Helm's Deep. But like I said, I don't think it's a big thing.
Thanks for the reviews and all that other stuff!
Story time!
*~*~*
'What do we do now?'
"Got me."
'My, aren't we helpful...'
"Well excuse me. At the moment I am trying to figure out how to save all our asses-it isn't looking too good."
I was still in shock at seeing such a swarm of those hideous beings. I don't think Babes was feeling to well about it either; she looked a bit green if you ask me, for a horse that is.
"Do you think that the guys at Helmet's Deep know about these things' numbers?"
'It's Helm's Deep, Emily. I don't know. But what I do know is that we should not be wondering about this; we should be moving on.'
"I think that is a good idea. Can you handle it if I am on your back, or are you still too pooped to put?"
'Too tired. You get to walk.'
"Goody."
*~*~*
"Can I ride yet? Pleeeeaaassee? Pretty, pretty please?"
'No, the walking will do you some good.'
"Yeah, it certainly could, but then again, with me walking we aren't making nearly as good time as we could be..."
I think she got my point. She stopped and I heard a short, 'Get on.'
I'm good.
The instant I was seated, she was off running again. Mind you, this was no I'm-so-exhausted-that-I-can-barely-put-one-foot-in-front-of-the-other run, this was a full out man-it-feels-good-to-get-moving-again gallop.
"Ass."
I heard a laugh in my head and then I just ignored her annoying comments. It really did feel good to be moving at a fast clip again. I was still a bit nervous with the Orcs so close by us, but the wind whipping across my face and through my hair quickly dispelled any bad notions.
I leaned over Babes's neck and shouted into her ear, "At this pace, we should be there shortly. Good going!"
'Thanks, but that is only if my heart doesn't rupture first!'
Doing my best 'Waterboy' impression, I pumped my fist in the air and called out, "You can du it!"
*~*~*
Some time during the night, Babes had slowed her headlong rush to a more measured pace. Slowly the rocking motion lulled me into a deep sleep.
Suddenly I was shook most brutally out of it when Babes stopped and snorted loudly.
'We're here.'
I opened my eyes and saw that it was close to dawn; the horizon was stained a blood red. I motioned in the horizon's direction to Babes.
"Think it's a sign?"
'I don't know, but I sure hope not. I'm too young to die! I want to have a family, grow old with someone!'
"I thought you said that you were emotionally scared and that you hated children?"
'Oh. Right. Scratch that. I'm still too young to die though.'
I ignored her and turned and looked back to the where we had come. Just on the horizon, you could make out a dark swarm-the Orcs. They must have stopped to collect themselves for the upcoming battle. If they had not stopped, they would have easily over taken us.
I sighed and looked to the front of us again. There, in all it's glory, was Helm's Deep. It was nestled into the side of a mountain, so it was backed by the rock on three of its sides. There were two enormous walls wrapping around the fourth side. It was a strong fort, but if the walls fell, there was no escape. So in other words, if the enemy got through the walls, we were screwed. Pleasant thought, no?
I scratched Babes behind the ears, "Come on, let's go."
'No wait. I'm tired and hungry. Let's stop and wait here for a little bit. It's highly unlikely that they have any grass in that place. If I'm going to die, I want to die with a full stomach.'
"Well, I guess I could use a bit more sleep too. As of right now, we look like something the cat drug in."
'Speak for yourself.'
But, she just left it at that. She was already stuffing her face for all that it was worth. I shook my head and chuckled. I leaned back in the fragrant grass and got the last bit of shut eye that I would get for quite sometime.
*~*~*
'Emily! Look!'
I immediately sat upright and looked around, "What is it? Are the Orcs on the move again!"
'No, not yet anyway. But look down there.'
I gazed down from the little hill that we were situated on, and sure enough, there was a rider walking his horse towards the stronghold.
"Can you tell who it is?"
'Nope. Should we go see?'
"Yes, lets."
*~*~*
Just as we were getting close enough to make out the rider clearly, the gate of Helm's Deep opened up and the rider was swallowed.
"Damn, come on! Let's see who finally decided to join the party."
With that, Babes broke into her head long run again. Within minutes, we had reached the gates too, but they didn't immediately open like they did before.
'I feel so loved.'
I ignored her and started to shout, "Hey! Hey up there! Open up! Let us in!"
At first I didn't see any movement, but then I saw a head pop up from the top of the wall. Just as soon as I spotted it, it disappeared again. I sat there for a good five minutes before I realize they were not going to open the gates for me.
"What the hell?" I muttered to Babes. I took a deep breath and tried again, "What is wrong with you people? Let me in! I have been chased across the country side with a couple of butt-ugly creatures nipping at my ass and when I finally find a safe place, you won't open the damn doors! For the last time! OPEN THE DAMN DOORS BEFORE I BREAK THEM DOWN!"
Nothing happened.
I was just about to make good of my threat, when the gates swung open.
"About damn time!" I called out.
Babes walked in through the doors with me leading her. Boy, if we were expecting a welcome, we were sorely mistaken. I thought we would get a better welcome if I was walking instead of riding, but I was wrong again.
All of the people were silent as death. Bad analogy, I know, but it was true. They just sat along the wall and stared at us. I was just getting officially creeped out when I heard a shout and saw a hairy flash come flying at me.
"Gimli?" I asked the hair ball as he attached himself to my waist.
"Lass, I thought you were dead! We all did! What happened?"
I peeled the dwarf off from around my midriff when something above me caught my eye. I saw Aragorn and Legolas talking and Legolas handed Aragorn something. They then clasped shoulders and started to walk away.
"What happened to Aragorn? He looks like he was run over by a truck."
"During the battle with the Wargs, we all believed him to be dead. He went over a cliff into a river beneath. Only now has he arrived and proved us wrong. Come, I am sure the Elf has told him that you are-were still missing and he is worried."
"Ah, hear that Babes? They really do love me!"
'Yeah, yeah.' She tossed her head in aggravation that no one was greeting her like they were me.
Gimli then surprised me and walked over to Babes and embraced her lowered head, "I am relieved that you are well, Lady Babes." He stepped back from the stunned horse and grabbed my arm and started pulling me along behind him.
'That was unexpected.'
I laughed at her and continued along in Gimli's wake. I then started to notice that the silence of the people was really surprise at seeing me alive. Yeah! That's me, Miss Unpredictability!
I quickly ran back up to Gimli's side when I noticed I was lagging behind. I caught up to him just as he was struggling to open a couple of massive doors.
"Here, I got it for you!"
I walked quickly up to the offending doors and threw them open with some effort. I walked in and immediately stopped. There in front of me were a whole mess of people-Théoden, Legolas, Aragorn, Éowyn, and countless other military men.
"Uh, if I am interrupting something, I can just come back later."
Instantly there was a great uproar and everyone was racing over to me. Aragorn engulfed me in a hug and Legolas clasped my shoulders with both arms. I noticed Théoden hung back slightly, but he had a massive grin on his face. When Aragorn released me, Éowyn was there to take his place. I noticed she had tears in her eyes.
"Woah! Woah there people!"
They all slowly settled down, but I still saw that everyone present was wearing an idiotic smile.
"I haven't been gone that long!"
"No," answered Éowyn, "But when you did not arrive, we began to worry. The last someone saw of you was when you were racing in the opposite direction with two Orcan riders following you."
"Yeah, I know, not too smart on my part. They were getting pretty close too. But they did eventually stop. Besides, if I hadn't, they would have gotten to the people. They were bent on killing something."
Théoden then spoke up, "Then you have our gratitude. When I was enlightened about your disappearance, I thought that they were chasing you-not that you were drawing them away from my unarmed people. You have my thanks."
I grinned and called out over my shoulder, "Hear that Babes? Our stupidity made us heroes!"
'Your stupidity, it was your idea. But I will happily ride along on your coat-tails.'
I laughed and looked over at Théoden, "She says it was no problem."
He nodded, "Come, we must finish this."
Slowly everyone returned to their previous positions. I followed Éowyn and took a seat next to her.
"Continue, Aragorn. You say a great host you saw?" asked Théoden.
Aragorn nodded gravely, "All of Isengard is emptied."
Théoden sighed, "How many?"
"Ten thousand strong at least."
I had been drifting off with my thoughts, until that last comment caught my attention again.
"You saw them too?" I blurted out.
Again everyone turned their attention to me, but I ignored them.
"What do you mean?" asked Aragorn.
"The great swarm of those things that are coming our way."
"The Orcs? Aye, I saw them."
"Nah, these weren't Orcs. They were about Legolas's height, but not nearly as good looking." I thought for a minute, "Actually, I think they are like the things that were chasing me that one time."
Immediately Aragorn leapt to his feet, "Uruk-Hai! Were they Uruk-Hai, Emily? I was not close enough to see for myself."
"Yeah I think so. I mean the name sounds familiar. All I know is that these guys are really big and really ugly."
"Then it is worse then we thought. It is an army bred for a single purpose: to destroy the world of men. They will be here by nightfall." Stated Aragorn in a tired voice.
"Yeah except there you are wrong. Sure they will be here by nightfall, but they are not totally bent on killing only men. Don't forget the Elves and the Dwarves." I mentioned.
Théoden shook his head sadly, "Let them come." He got up and walked away from out little gathering.
I heard one of the guards say, "We shall never make it."
Éowyn automatically said, "We will. We will all make it."
"Famous last words," I muttered.
*~*~*
A/N: Okay, I lied. So this is not where the action starts, but it is leading up to is. I also know that this chapter wasn't terribly funny, but I have a feeling that the next chapter will be out shortly. Not only am I starting to get into this story again, but I have my own personal slave driver. I won't mention names, you know who you are! Lol.
Sorry this is so short, but what can I say. I did get it out six days after the last chapter. I would say that is pretty damn good for me.
By the way, I do not own 'The Waterboy' and if you did notice this, the 'du' was spelled like that on purpose. If you have seen the movie, then you know the pronunciation that I was going for.
Hope you liked it.
~A~