Ehh... not as much random silliness. Writer's Block is not a happy thing. R&R anyway? Pwease? -puppy dog eyes-
Emmett: Yay! My turn!
Athena: …Your turn for what?
Emmett: A chapter, duh.
Athena: Oh, sorry, right.
Edward: Whatever, I'm just glad we're not slapping me anymore.
Athena: -slaps Edward-
Edward: AW, COME ON!
Alice: -giggles-
Cullen House: -starts magically shimmering-
Rosalie: =O
Alice: Le gasp!
Emmett: OMG!
Edward: Huh?
Carlisle: Don't be alarmed, kiddos! Our house is merely shimmering on the verge of existence! Not to worry, though, it will turn into a shopping mall when it stops shimmering!
Alice and Emmett: YAY!
Athena: Edward's room will become a music store, Alice's room and closet will become designer stores, you get it! And then a new wing will be added for many more stores!
All Except Jasper: Yay!
Jasper: Aw, crap.
Edward: What?
Jasper: My room's going to turn into a War Store, isn't it? I shouldn't have hidden all those weapons in there…
Alice: JASPER TRISTAN WHITLOCK CULLEN! YOU HID WHAT IN OUR ROOM?
Jasper: Uh… nothing! -shimmers out of existence-
Rosalie: =O
Emmett: I didn't know Jasper's middle name was Tristan.
Edward: Me either.
Cullen House: -shimmers into a mall-
Emmett: Come on, Alice! Let's go get some shopping done!
Alice: Yay!
Edward: Why are we all saying yay so much?
Athena: Don't ask me, I just do what you all do.
Edward: Ha! Well then I will do what you do just to spite you because if you do what we do then it's only fair that one of us, the 'we', do what you do, so you can continue doing what we do and we can do what you do and then we'll all be doing the same thing! -evil laughter-
Rosalie: =O
Athena: I LOVE PINK! BELLA'S JUST A STUPID HUMAN! ROSALIE IS THE ONE FOR ME! -belly dance-
Edward: I LOVE PINK! BELLA'S JUST A STUPID HUMAN! ROSALIE IS THE ONE FOR ME! -belly dance-
Rosalie: =O
Esme: Where is Bella, anyway?
Bella: -shimmers into existence- EDWARD ANTHONY MASEN CULLEN! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING? YOU LOVE WHAT? I'M JUST WHAT? WHO IS WHAT FOR WHO? AND BELLY DANCING? REALLY, EDWARD?
Edward: No… Bella… I didn't mean it… I was just doing what…. SHE MADE ME DO IT! -points at Athena-
Bella: Oh don't you give me that Edward! -slaps Edward across the face-
Edward: I thought we were done with the slapping Edward across the face! -tearless sobs- Why must the world torture me so? Why must everyone hate me? -shimmers out of existence, replaced by EMO EDWARD!-
Bella: Ugh, take it like a man, creepers. -shimmers out of existence-
(Emo) Edward: -whispers to Athena- Do you know where any really sharp blades are? The kind that cut vampire skin?
Athena: Ugh, you disgust me!
(Emo) Edward: How does that disgust you?
Athena: It just DOES okay? And I have decided to become Bella's friend, so when a boy hurts her deeply, I hate him so he gets double the hate! So ha!
(Emo) Edward: I… hurt… Bella? NO! -shimmers out of existence-
Rosalie: =O
Athena: I know! Take it like a man much? Anyway, do you think we can find a Jimmy Choo's store in this mall? Let's go before Alice buys them out! -grabs Rosalie's hand and runs-
Esme: So… Carlisle. Do you think we should get a pet?
Carlisle: OMG DEFINITELY THAT WOULD BE SO EFFING AWESOME!!! LET'S GO NOW!!!
Rosalie: =O
Carlisle: Alas! I thought you left, young Rosalie!
Athena: So now you know what they're like when you're not around. Now let's go find a Jimmy Choo's for real! -grabs Rosalie and rushes off-
Carlisle: -grabs Esme and rushes off-
Xx-xX-Xx-xX
Emmett: Have any ideas for my new look?
Alice: I don't know. You could go for punk rocker, or emo dude, or-
(Emo) Edward: -shimmers back into existence- OH DON'T YOU DARE GO FOR EMO DUDE! THAT'S ALL MINE! -shimmers back out of existence-
Alice: -blinks-
Emmett: AHA! YOU BLINKED!
Alice: …We weren't having a staring contest…?!
Emmett: YES WE WERE!
Alice: NO WE WEREN'T!
Emmett: YOU LIE! LIES ARE NOT GOOD! LIES ARE EVIL! PSYCHOPATHS AND SOCIOPATHS LIE! SO YOU'RE A PSYCHOPATH OR SOCIOPATH! HUZZAH!
Alice: HOW DARE YOU! I WAS BORN FIRST, YOU KNOW! RESPECT YOUR ELDERS!
Emmett: Yes, ma'am. I'm sorry.
Alice: That's more like it! Now, staring contest! -stares-
Emmett: -stares-
Athena: Okay, now let's be really quiet and see if we can sneak past Alice!
Alice: -sees Athena and Rosalie getting the shoes before her and blinks-
Emmett: AHA! YOU BLINKED! -happy dance-
Rosalie: =O
Alice: Respect your elders, mister! -attempts to slap Emmett across the face but ends up slapping (Emo) Edward, who shimmers into existence right in front of Emmett-
(Emo) Edward: Aw, man, I picked the wrong moment to shimmer into existence.
Bella's Voice: Edward? Edward? Edward!
(Emo) Edward: Bella? What's wrong?
Bella's Voice: Well, since I'm just a stupid human, I got stuck between existence and non-existence!
(Emo) Edward: Oh noes! Well-
Athena: -laughs and points at random shimmering light named Bella-
(Emo) Edward: HOW DARE YOU! -disassembles Athena-
Athena: -reassembles herself-
Jasper: -shimmers into existence and laughs and points at Athena-
Athena: -cries and shimmers out of existence-
Bella: Ah! Edward! You saved me!
Jasper: Actually, he di-
(Emo) Edward: -whispers in a voice only vampires can hear- Shh! Shut up! She doesn't know that Athena's shimmering out caused her to come back and it's going to stay that way!
Bella: Thank you, Edward.
(Emo) Edward: So… does this mean you don't hate me anymore?
Bella: Edward, I could never hate you!
(Emo) Edward: -is no longer emo-
Bella and Edward: -cheesy-
Breaking Dawn: -magically happens-
Bella: I'm a vampire!
Edward: I'm married!
Irina: I'm dead! -dies-
Jacob: I started a new pack!
Seth: I joined it!
Leah: Me too!
Embry: Me three!
Quil: Me four, after much consideration!
Rosalie: I don't hate Bella anymore!
Bella: I have my own house!
Edward: I'm born!
Rosalie: =O
Renesmee: Ugh, Daddy, you're stealing my lines!
Edward: Sorry, honey.
Renesmee: I'm born!
Jacob: I imprinted!
Renesmee: …You what? You mean to tell me that the only reason you didn't kill me was because you fell in love with me through force? You mean to tell me that you don't care for me, you just don't kill me because of old legends? HOW DARE YOU IMPRINT ON ME!
Jacob: I'm sorry! I promise not to imprint on any other girls until you're fifteen!
Renesmee: That can happen?
Jacob: Yep!
Renesmee: Oh. Then okay!
Edward: Yeah, you turn fifteen in three minutes.
Renesmee: Ugh! How dare you?! You disgust me, Jacob Black!
Jacob: I'm sorry! But I will keep my promise!
Renesmee: Fine. When I'm fifteen, I'll think about forgiving you.
Athena: Come on, May. Let's get our nails done. -grabs Renesmee and goes to find a nail place in the Cullen mall- (A/N: 'May' is what Athena calls Renesmee.)
Jasper: …I believe that working relationships are better based on fear than friendship!
Edward: Yeah, you missed your cue, dude.
Jasper: It's their fault! They were talking!
Edward: Save it.
Jasper: Respect your elders!
Athena: Yeah!
Jasper: Ugh. Go away, strange little girl.
Athena: …Strange little girl? I am not strange nor little!
Jasper: I SAID RESPECT YOUR ELDERS! THAT MEANS YOU!
Athena: -shimmers out of existence-
Renesmee: But… what about getting our nails done?
Alice: Here, I'll take you.
Renesmee: Sigh. I wish someone would teach me how to shimmer out of existence.
Emmett: Hey guys! We're not done with revealing Breaking Dawn spoilers yet!
Edward: -sighs- Fine.
Everyone: -is magically transported back-
Jasper: I believe that working relationships are better based on fear than on friendship!
Edward: And that's the last of-
Emmett: I GOT A NEW LOOK! -poses- (A/N: Link in profile.)
Rosalie: =O
Athena: That… didn't happen.
Emmett: Oh, as if you can talk, you're just an OC.
Athena: -bursts out crying- STEPHENIE MEYER HATES ME! -shimmers out of existence-
Esme: -whiney- A whole book went by and we didn't get a pet. I want to get a pet, Carlisle!
Carlisle: OK, come on, let's go.
Esme: Yay!
Edward: Really, bro, that new look is kind of disturbing.
Emmett: Oh, YOU'RE one to talk!
Edward: …How? I dress sanely.
Emmett: Oh, REALLY?
Edward: Really.
Emmett: Wait, wait, wait—you're saying I'm insane? NO! IT CAN'T BE! WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS FATE?! -spontaneously combusts-
Edward: -sigh- Hence the insane.
Emmett: -spontaneously uncombusts- I WANNA SING A SONG!
Athena: -shimmers back into existence- OKAY! -sings- Esme got run over by a reindeer…
Esme VO From the Pet Store: Hey! I FIND THAT VERY OFFENSIVE!
Emmett: Merry Christmas!
Edward: It's February.
Emmett: Details, details.
Edward: Bella! I have an idea!
Bella: What would that be, Edward?
Edward: I want to tell a story!
Bella: …Umm, sure?
Edward: Once upon a time—
Bella: Wait, wait, wait. Do we REALLY have to start with 'once upon a time'?!
Edward: You are right! This is not a fairytale! It's an upside down fairytale! So I must tell it upside down! Once upon a time, there was a girl named B—
Bella: Oh, my goodness! How I dearly hope you're not about to say Bella! -looks over balcony in random soap opera moment-
Edward: B…Bageshwari!
Bella: Bageshwari?
Edward: Yes, Bageshwari!
Bella: Oh, dear. Here we go.
Renesmee: Mommy! Mommy! MOMMY! I SAID MOMMY!
Bella: What?!
Renesmee: Look at my nails! Aren't they pretty!
Bella: Why do they have pictures of walruses on them?
Renesmee: They're not walruses! How could you say that? They're werewolves! It's Jacob!
Jacob: I'm on your nails?
Bella: -giggles- JACOB THE WALRUS!
Rosalie: =O
Edward: Fo' shizzle!
Athena: I'm dearly concerned for the sake of all of our sanities.
Emmett: I wanna sing another song!
Athena: Okay! You start this time.
Emmett: Okay… Vamp-Wolf, Vamp-Wolf, Vamp-Wolf rock, vampires hunt and werewolves hate—
Jacob: Feedin' and patrollin' up hate and love—
Bella: Now the Vamp-Wolf rock has begun—
Athena: Merry Christmas!
Emmett: Hey! We weren't done yet!
Athena: I know. But that song's in serious need of a re-write.
Jacob: I find that very offensive.
Athena: Yeah, but no one cares what you think, Jakeypoo. JAKEYPOOHBEAR!
Bella: Eh, I like Jacob the Walrus more.
Athena: EMMYPOOHBEAR!
Bella: That I like a lot. JACOB THE WALRUS AND EMMYPOOHBEAR FOREVER!
Athena: Hence my concern for the sake of all of our sanities.
Renesmee: Hehe… you're right, they do look like walruses! I'M IN LOVE WITH A WALRUS!
Edward: -whispering- Alice, it's time!
Alice: HAPPY BIRTHDAY RENESMEE!
Renesmee: Huh?
Alice: It's your fifteenth birthday!
Renesmee: Oh. Yay!
Jacob: Now I am FREE! -disappears out of this madness-
Renesmee: Where's he going?
Edward: To Seattle.
Renesmee: Why, pray tell, would he do that?
Edward: To imprint.
Renesmee: -le gasp- How dare he!
Rosalie: =O
Edward: Ooh, look who came to the party! BAGESHWARI!
Renesmee: Um, what? Who? Where? Why? When? How?
Edward: Bageshwari is my bestest friend in the whole world!
Bella: Friend… how good of a friend?
Edward: I just said how good!
Alice: -singsongy- Somebody's jealous…
Bella: I AM NOT JEALOUS!!!
Emmett: STYROFOAM!
Rosalie: =O
Everyone Else: …
Emmett: I just realized something!
Alice: What?
Emmett: I can say whatever I want, and everyone in a hearing range will hear it! POTATO PEELINGS!
Bella: You just realized this?
Emmett: FO' SHIZZLE, HOMESKILLET!
Athena: And yet this completely pointless and mindless fanfic drags on after it should be over many pages ago.
Emmett: UTOPIA!!!
Bageshwari: He confuzzles me.
Edward: BAGESHWARI! YOU MADE IT!
Bageshwari: No I didn't. -disappears-
Edward: Bageshwari! No! SHE WAS MY EVERYTHING! -collapses-
Bella: I thought I was your everything!
Edward: No, Bageshwari was, didn't you hear? I just shouted she was my everything and collapsed. If I meant Bella I would have said Bella.
EMMETT: HERE COMES THE MANATEE!
Ronald: Me?
EMMETT: YES, YOU!
Ronald: Why are you all in caps?
EMMETT: BECAUSE I'M EPIC! DUH! DID YOU NOT SEE THAT, YOU SILLY LITTLE MANATEE?!
Ronald: Oh. Why am I talking?
Bella: What kind of question is that?
Ronald: Well, for one, I'm a dog.
EDWARD: I WANNA BE EPIC TOO!
EMMETT: WELL, I WANT A PINK PONY NAMED BALLERINA, SO I GUESS WE'RE BOTH DISAPPOINTED.
Rosalie: And yet again… =O
Athena: Yeah, seriously, what's with all the =O-ing?
Rosalie: There have been way too many =O moments.
Athena: Yeah, you're right. We'll see you next time on THE INCREDIBLE DYSFUCTION: VAMPIRE EDITION!
Weird ending.... Anyway. THOU SHALT REVIEW! Please?