Just a head's up for someone who asked there is a little "HOTNESS" in this chapter. You have been forwarned :)
Previously…
"I'm going to go change into something dry."
Jasper stood opening the grill and trying to hold in a laugh as he walked past.
"Hey Bella, you wanna put these on this pan they're ready."
"Ok."
She grabbed the pan, but her eyes never left his as he went inside. As he closed the door he winked at her. Yes, this was going to be a very interesting day indeed.
The rest of the day they relaxed and enjoyed the company of his family. It was currently around eleven and Lily had just finished her last feeding of the night. Alice laid her in her bed covering her gently. She watched the small infant in wonder.
"I can't wait Bella, I am so excited."
"I know you'll be a great mom." Bella said as she sat watching from a nearby rocker.
She loved watching Alice with Lily. She was so good with her. Bella could already see she was going to take naturally to the mom role. She always held Lily with such love and confidence. She seemed to sense what she needed and nurtured her in a sweet way. She was the same way with Timmy. She would take him shopping and to the movies then sometimes she would teach him little things, it was just so easy to her, natural. Bella loved that about Alice it made her part of the wonderful person she was.
Making sure Lily was asleep Alice removed her hand and turned to Bella.
"I found the cutest little bedroom set, you have to see it. I found it online but they have it at a nearby store. I haven't had a chance to go look. I was so busy taking care of Jasper and now that he is better than I can."
"That sounds like fun, we should do that." Bella smiled. "What does it look like?" She could almost feel the excitement radiating off of Alice. She was so cute when she was excited.
Alice leaned on the baby bed.
"It's so cute. It's cream colored and it has little silk ribbons. It's perfect."
Bella raised an eyebrow wondering what Alice could possibly be thinking.
"Not to burst your bubble, it sounds pretty but baby equals mess. Silk ribbons?"
Alice winked with a half smile as she clasped her hands together.
"You'll just have to see, it won't be bad. The sheets aren't silk. It's more around the bed, the curtains and decorations. Bella nodded knowing she wouldn't win this argument. If Alice had her mind set then she rarely changed it. Jasper leaned in from outside the doorway.
"Mrs. Hale, we should go it's late."
She turned to him with a smile and back to Bella.
"He's right it is getting late. I'll call you tomorrow." Alice said then hugged Bella and was quickly out the door. Bella knew Edward would see them out so she decided to take a quick shower. It had been a long day. She rinsed her hair and sighed, closing her eyes and leaning back on the tile relaxing.
She couldn't help but let her mind drift over events of the day and how wonderful her life currently was that was until she suddenly felt ice cold water pounding into her flesh and jumped screaming.
Edward laughed from behind the door.
"Edward!" She screamed fumbling for the knobs as he continued to laugh.
"Yes my love? Do you have a problem?" She could head the sarcasm dripping from his voice. So this was to be his revenge. How nice, and ice cold shower. It took her a few moments to get the knobs turned right again.
She trembled under the spray and stared at the door waiting on him to try that one again. He knew better this time, he knew she would be waiting When she was warm she turned the shower off and got out. He stood leaning on the sink with a smirk across his handsome face.
"Nice shower?" He had the audacity to ask.
"It was, until someone turned the cold water on."
He gasped feigning surprise.
"Really? How rude was that? I can't imagine anyone treating you that way." He puffed his chest out.
"Tell me who treated my lady so poorly and I shall smite the down with my sword."
Bella giggled placing her hands on her slim hips.
"You don't have a word." She pointed out
He wiggled his eyebrows, "Oh, but I do."
He was rewarded with a slap upside his head softly as she passed. He chuckled watching her pass.
"What? It was funny." She stated and grinned as she grabbed her clothes and began to dress. He smiled back jumping across the bed and watching her.
"I told you I would get you back somehow." He reminded her.
She met his eyes and shrugged.
"You did, now we are even."
He watched her slide into her and crawled in next to her.
"Bella?"
"Hmmm?" She answered turning to face him. He reached up to stroke her face.
"I miss you." He said softly. She looked at him funny not sure what he meant. He slid his warm hand to her hip and pulled her close.
"I miss being close to you, it feels like something's missing. I know that sounds dumb. It's not missing… not really. I mean I have all I could ever want. I don't know what I am trying to say."
He looked down ashamed and she lifted his face to look into his eyes and stroked his cheeks.
"It's ok to feel that way sometimes, I do too."
"Really?" He enquired as he rested his forehead against hers. She smiled.
"It's hard for us, we avoid intimacy so we aren't tempted and then we loose the satisfaction that we gain from it. It kinds of makes me feel lonely in a way."
Edward nodded in agreement.
"Exactly, yet you're right beside me. I just want to connect with you." He groaned burying his face in her neck.
"I could hold you like this forever." His voice trailed off and he closed his eyes. He inhaled her sweet scent and sighed.
"Do you ever wonder you know where will we be in ten years?" He asked as he took a silky strand of her hair between his fingers and twirled it.
She smiled.
"I hope happy and healthy as for the rest it doesn't really matter. If we're together who cares?" She kissed his neck.
He pulled her closer.
"I just worry I guess." He leaned back to see her face.
"It's all been so perfect lately, I worry something will go wrong. I mean no one has the perfect relationship and we will have problems. It scares me."
"We will work through them just like everyone else Edward, that is what married people do." She said simply.
He smiled at her cupping her chin with his thumb and forefinger. She looked so beautiful bathed in moonlight. He couldn't help but watch her mesmerized.
"I know I worry needlessly. I just waited so long to have you in my arms, it seems like a lifetime. I don't want to waste any of it." He moved his thumb to trace her bottom lip.
"I love you Bella."
"I love you too." She whispered watching as the shadows played against his features. He was so handsome. He seemed so different tonight, almost vulnerable and she wasn't quite sure why. It was possible it was just the mood.
He held her close closing his eyes and rubbing her back softly. He loved her being this close, but it was both a blessing and a curse. She was his wife and the love of his life. He couldn't help but want her to be well and healed from the birth of Lily, and at the same time he couldn't fight his body's calling to her when she was this close.
She knew his dilemma how could she not, with him holding her so close against him it was clearly evident. She pressed on his chest.
"Edward?"
"Bella, sweetheart rest it's been a long day and I know you are tired."
She smiled. He was willing to totally ignore his need just to make sure she was happy and well. His loving mind didn't even think of other options. He didn't want to make her uncomfortable. It wasn't in his nature to take and not give. In this case, there was no other option he would just have to understand seeing him happy was enough.
"Edward." She said again pushing on his chest.
He allowed his hold to loosen this time when she leaned back to see his face.
"Lay back." She whispered pushing. He raised a curious eyebrow.
"Why?"
She pushed and he followed still watching her curious. She smiled straddling him.
"Bella? What are you doing love?" She could see his breathing already increasing, from nervousness or excitement she did not know. She was fortunate that this particular night he had chosen not to wear a shirt but he did wear his pajama bottoms.
Resting her hands on his chest she slowly raked her nails gently down to the top of his pajama bottoms. He almost came off of the bed and immediately grabbed her hands.
"Bella." He gasped breathing heavily.
She met his eyes.
"You don't have to do this. It's ok. Please." She wasn't sure if he was saying please stop or please continue. It was more of he couldn't decide himself. His mind said he should say stop, his body said say go. His heart was racing so fast he couldn't think. It had been a while since they had been together and she was pushing all the right buttons.
"Edward, listen to me. I know we can't make love yet, but I want to feel close to you and why shouldn't you have this? I want to give you this. It would make me happy to please you."
"Bella." His voice trembled as he spoke. "I can't give you anything, it's not right."
She smiled kissing his lips.
"You gave me your heart it's all I need."
Hearing her words he trembled closing his eyes.
"Bella, I love you. You don't have to."
Bella leaned to his ear. "Edward let go and relax honey, I want to."
She tried to move her hands and he tightened his grip. She kissed his neck and said again.
"Edward, please. I want to do this, let me love you and help you feel close to me. I need to feel close to you."
She felt his hold loosen and she smiled. He would not regret his choice.
She awoke to the sun streaming in the windows. It felt warm and calming on the skin of her thigh which was draped over his waist, he was languidly stroking it in soothing circular patterns. She snuggled deeper into his chest only to have him hold her tighter and kiss her head.
"Morning sleepy head."
Bella looked up and was greeted with a deep kiss. She moaned and smiled giggling.
"Someone is in a good mood." She teased.
He shrugged with a smile.
She rested her head back down and enjoyed the caress of his fingertips as they continued the little circles on her soft skin.
"So, how did you sleep?" She asked knowingly.
"Good." He answered with a laugh. "Yes Bella, you were right ok." He said before she could comment.
She looked up at him smiling.
"I didn't say anything."
"You were going to say I needed it." He commented tapping her nose. She giggled biting her lip.
"Well didn't you?" She commented back.
He sighed patting her leg.
"We already established that. Let's move on like to how you are feeling this morning healing ok?"
Bella nodded.
"I feel good, no pain or anything. I think I will recover quickly."
He brushed her hair back smiling.
"What are your thoughts on heading back to Forks? Timmy's fixing to be ready to start school."
She was silent a minute then met his eyes trying to see what he was thinking, but there was no reaction. He was neutral. She hated that.
"I don't know. What about Alice ?"
"Alice is Alice, we can come back love. I just knew you wanted him in school there, it's getting close and I…"
She sat up running her hands through her hair. He watched as she dressed and put her hair up. It was apparent she didn't like talking about this subject.
"Bella did I say something wrong?"
She sighed sitting back down.
"No, I just…I mean this feels like home too. I have gotten used to it, people still take pictures but not like they did or maybe I just adjusted. I don't know. Things changed and Forks…I like Forks and I love Rosalie and Emmett it just…"
She looked down not sure what to say. He moved closer lifting her chin and searching her eyes for the answer he knew she held hidden there. Seeing what he already knew he smiled and leaned into her lips gently. Her hands tangled into his hair and pulled him closer.
He didn't hesitate to pull her fully onto his lap the intimacy of last night breaking down any inhibitions he might have had. They were both breathing heavily within minutes. He released her lips leaning on the headboard.
"Hot." He managed in between pants.
She rolled away onto her back and fanned looking at the ceiling.
"That was way too intense." She managed. They looked at each other and laughed. He slipped out of bed and grabbed some clothes while she watched him.
"So, we are staying here I take it?" He questioned.
"It feels right for now." She said biting her lip as he zipped his jeans. He peered up through thick, dark lashes and smiled.
"Ok, so we will look at schools here. I guess we go private you don't want him in public here."
She knew he spoke the truth, not here where everything was about who you were or who's son you were and one look at him and it was obvious no questions asked. He couldn't be denied. Lily started to fuss and he winked.
"I got it."
He is such a charmer. She thought as she headed to the kitchen to start Lily's bottle. Edward changed Lily's diaper and talked to her soothingly as they followed shortly behind. Bella handed him the bottle and smiled as Lily started sucking.
"She's so cute." She said as she kissed her head.
He sat down as she started the coffee and watched her.
"Bella, what do you think about this role coming up?"
She smiled not turning so he wouldn't see her. She knew this was coming but had no idea when he would finally bring it up.
"I think if you want to you should take it and if not then don't." She put the things up and turned setting his mug in front of him. He watched her sit.
"Well, what would you do?"
"Edward, I can't make the decision for you. Is it a good role?"
He took a sip of coffee and nodded, "Not bad. It's got some good lines."
She chuckled.
"Let me rephrase the question, can you make it a hit?"
He raised a curious eyebrow and smiled his famous lopsided grin, the one where the girls faint and the clothes fly off.
"I can make it a hit, yes."
"Then do it." She responded with a laugh. He looked down at Lily setting her bottle on the table and burping her.
"You think they'll still find me sexy? Here I am walking around burping a baby on my shoulder." He kissed Lily's head and held it gently in his hand.
Bella grinned widely.
"Oh Edward, you have no idea how sexy."
"Hmmm." He raised teasing eyebrow. "Well, as long as you think so. I think if you are in agreement then I might just take the role. I feel like the timing is right and it seems like a good role. The shooting schedule won't be too bad and so I won't be away from my family very long."
"Sounds like you should." She stood winking at it. "Now, breakfast ideas? Timmy will be up soon too."
He stood beside her for a moment then handed her Lily.
"You relax, I'll surprise you."
With a kiss he scooted her out of the kitchen. She smiled deciding to take Lily upstairs and give her a quick bath. She always loved the smell of fresh baby lotion and powder on a newly bathed baby. She bathed her and dressed her then headed back downstairs.
Bella leaned in the kitchen.
"Safe to come in yet?"
Edward turned, "Sure."
She walked in and he smiled kissing her, then Lily.
"You smell good little one, mommy must have gave you a bath."
She turned looking at the omelets he made. They looked wonderful, she wasn't sure what all he had put in them but her stomach was growling just at the smell. He smiled.
"Sit and eat, I'll wake up Tim."
She placed the baby in her bouncer and turned the music on low. Timmy and Edward were soon back and they ate while the baby made soft noises occasionally. Edward watched her and smiled.
"She seems to like music."
"All babies like music daddy." Bella said back with a grin. Timmy took Edward's hand.
"Daddy, can we go to the movies today?"
He pulled him on his lap.
"I don't see why not, is there something you wanted to go see?"
He nodded. Edward kissed his head.
"I think we can work that out, go brush your teeth and get dressed."
He stood clearing the table. Bella smiled, it was so good to finally have him in Timmy's life and he was definitely thriving from it. He flipped on the radio and set Lily nearby grabbing Bella's hand and twirling her to the music and then dipping her with a kiss before releasing her with a hip bump and singing to her and Lily as he began the dishes.
She laughed at his dramatic dancing to the radio until the phone rang and he winked grabbing it.
"Yeah, hang on."
"Bella."
He handed her the phone and continued to do the dishes singing to himself and attempting to make Lily laugh while he put them in the dishwasher.
He heard the crash of the phone and turned.
"Bella are you ok?" It was no sooner out of his mouth then he saw she was falling and he dropped the plate into the sink he was holding to quickly grab her. He caught her around her waist and struggled for a moment because of his wet hands trying to reposition her.
"Bella?"
She wouldn't answer and he glanced back making sure Lily was safely content in her bouncer for a moment while he carried her to the couch. He laid her down and quickly brought Lily into the living room so he could see her setting her close by he cupped her face in his hands.
"Bella, what's wrong? Who was that?" Her skin was cold and clammy and she was ashen and pale. He yelled for Timmy to bring him a wet wash cloth.
His cell buzzed and he wouldn't have answered it but he saw Emmett's name flash.
"Hello." He said worried.
"Hey, glad I caught you listen are you with Bella?" Emmett asked quickly.
"Yes, she just got a strange call, she's not responding to me Emmett what's going on?" He said panicked.
"I was hoping to get to you first, that was probably the police department…"
"The police…" He interrupted him. "Emmett what's….Oh God… Emmett her father, where is her father?"
Emmett sighed, "He was killed in the line of duty today, about an hour ago."
"I'll call you back." He hung up tossing the phone.
"Bella, baby please." She finally made eye contact with him. Timmy handed him a washcloth, but looked concerned.
"Is mommy ok?"
"Yes Timmy, watch tv for a little bit ok? I need to talk to mommy."
He wiped her wet face and cupped her cool cheek.
"Bella, are you ok? You're cold as ice and your clothes are soaked." She started to shiver and he stood going to a cabinet and grabbing a blanket.
"Let's get off your wet clothes." He gently removed her shirt and shorts but left her underclothes on and curled the blanket around her. He stroked her cheek softly.
"I'm so sorry baby, so sorry."
He lifted his phone and pushed a button putting the phone to his ear.
"Hey, listen I need you to come over."
He looked down at Bella and walked away to talk lower, "Her father just got killed and she's in shock, I need help with the kids. Thanks Alice ."
Bella remained on the couch until Alice arrived. Alice smiled taking Lily from Edward who was feeding her.
"I'll take her."
He leaned down kissing her head.
"Thank you."
He turned kneeling at the couch.
"Ok beautiful time for that warm shower I promised." He lifted her in his strong arms and carried her up the stairs. Turning on the warm water he turned.
"Let's get you undressed."
She stopped his hand and he met her big brown eyes. He caressed her cheek.
"I will be with you, always. These are the not so good times we talked about."
She released his hand and he removed her clothes followed by his and led them both to the shower. He bathed her and washed her hair, he wasn't aware until he turned her that she was crying. He dropped the washcloth and cupped her now warm cheeks in his hands.
"Bella please, talk to me."
"We were fighting." She said in a broken voice.
He shook his head.
"What?"
She sniffed.
"We…we were still fighting. He couldn't get over me having Timmy so young and not telling him you were the father, or getting pregnant with Lily like I did. He was so upset by the whole thing. He loved them both but me…he was still mad at me."
She broke down onto his chest. He pulled her close rubbing her back.
"Bella, love he wasn't mad at you. He forgave you a long time ago, he just didn't tell you because he is just as stubborn as you are."
She looked back.
"How do you know that?"
He smiled, "I'm a father that's how. He forgave you Bella. He loved you. Don't hang on to that memory. You had differences, but in the end the only thing that mattered is you loved each other."
He stroked her wet hair lovingly as she cried hard into his chest.
"He's not coming back Edward." She said in a broken sentence. He kissed her head and rocked her gently.
"No my love, he's not. I'm sorry."
There was nothing left to say. He let her cry, and cry she did. He let her because he knew she needed to and he was going to hold her until she made him let go. This was what marriage was about, it was not always going to be perfect and now they were finding out just how hard the bumps in the road could be.