A/N: R&R!
Also, I would much appreciate ideas from you guys! I'm kind of running out of them! I mean, I've got a couple... but not really too many. Sigh. So put ideas in review and I'll dedicate the your-idea-chapter to you!
Emmett: Ah, that was a fun episode!
Edward: Um… yeah…. Sorry, I can't hear you over that OUTFIT. Are you ever going to take it off?
Emmett: What?!-No! Where'd you ever get a crazed idea like that? FLORIDA? (A/N: No offense, Floridians. Seriously, I live there myself. Am I crazy? Don't answer that.)
Rosalie: Seriously, Emmett. Take it off.
Emmett: Well, Rose! You're acting all bossy, like it's your episode now!
Rosalie: Well, we haven't decided whose episode it's going to be now, so it's pretty much anyone's to be bossy with if they want to!
Emmett: Well, you're sure taking the opportunity!
Edward: I think it should be Rosalie's episode now!
Athena: I agree!
Alice: Me too!
Jasper: Me three!
Carlisle: Me five!
Esme: What happened to 'me four?'
Carlisle: Well, you were supposed to say that, but you didn't, so I had to say my line!
Rosalie: YES! WE ALL LOVE ME! All right! I mean, uh, duh!
Athena: So, Rose, what are you planning on doing for your episode?
Rosalie: I'm thinking of maybe becoming famous. I'm sick of being stuck out of the spotlight! It's so demeaning! I WANNA BE FAMOUS! -sobs-
Esme: Oh, Rose, hun, you know we can't do that.
Rosalie: I don't care! IT'S MY EPISODE AND I'LL SPEND IT AS I LIKE!
Carlisle: Fine!
Rosalie: Fine!
Carlisle: But I hate you!
Rosalie: And I hate you!
Carlisle and Rosalie: -drama drama-
XxX
Non-Evil Narrarator: Later, in Hollywood, in their brand-new house stolen from Hillary Duff…
Edward: HEY GUYS! GUESS WHAT?
Esme: What?
Edward: I GOT A ROLE!
Esme: What role?
Edward: Robert Pattinson! In this fakumentary where they're making this movie called 'Twilight' but then everybody becomes possessed by the characters!
Esme: …That sounds like the worst idea, ever.
Edward: -emo tears-
Esme: Yeah, cry your emo tears, emo boy…. -walks up stairs strangely-
Edward: Staples – That was odd.
Alice: EDWARD EDWARD EDWARD EDWARD EDWARD EDWARD GUESS WHAT EDWARD?
Edward: -le sigh- What?
Alice: I GOT TO BE COSTUME DESIGNER FOR A FILM!
Edward: -le sigh- What film?
Alice: It's called Possessed and it's about the making of a movie called Twilight but then all the actors get possessed by the characters!
Edward: -le sigh- NO WAY NO WAY NO WAY! I'M STARRING IN THAT SAME FILM!
Bella: Oh my god, Edward! Did you just say you were starring in Possessed? I AM TOO!
Edward: -le sigh- OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD! Hey, isn't it weird that all the characters of the characters have the same names as us? I wonder if we all get to star in the movie!
Alice: Guess what?
Edward: What?
Alice: The director just texted me, and he wants me to be in it as well! As Ashley Greene!
Emmett: Hey, guys! Guess what?
Bella: What what?
Emmett: I got a job as a professional wrestler AND an actor! I'm playing Kellan Lutz in Possessed! This is the BEST day EVER!
Edward: -le sigh- Now this is just too weird. I'm going upstairs to learn my lines! -goes upstairs-
Rosalie: Guess what guess what GUESS WHAT!
Bella: Ooh! I know this one! You got a job as Nikki Reed on Possessed?
Rosalie: No! I found a used lollipop stuck to the floor! -holds out lollipop- But, yeah, I did.
Bella: It's surprising, the way you ordered your news….
Edward: -comes flying down the stairs- -theme music plays-
Bella: Umm… Edward dear, what would that theme music BE?
Edward: Uh… da da-a-a-a-a da da da da-a-a-a da da da da da da da da-a-a-a-a da da da da da da da da-a-a-a-a da da da –
Rosalie: Umm… Edward dear, isn't that copyright infringement?
Edward: What? Why'd you call me 'dear'? Have you finally realized my secret love for you?
Rosalie: No, Bella's going on strike until shooting and asked the rest of us to say her lines. But the question is, isn't that copyright infringement?
Emmett: Huzzah! Copyright infringement!
Rosalie: What is it now?
Emmett: Huzzah! Infringement is a funny word!
Rosalie: In what way?
Emmett: I don't know. But I put the fun in infringement!
Rosalie: There's no fun in infringement?
Emmett: Ah, that's what YOU think.
Rosalie: Grr! Stop stealing my episode! Now everybody act like I'm the queen of the world!
Edward: Brat.
Edward: Meaniepoo.
Emmett: Was that for Bella?
Edward: Yeah.
Emmett: Oh. Party pooper!
Alice: Diva!
Esme: --
Rosalie: What part of 'act like I'm the queen' didn't you understand?
Emmett: OH NOES! DID WE OFFEND YOU?! MY DEAR ROSALIE!!!
Rosalie: That's more like it.
Edward: Hell-o! My theme song? I've got a new idea! It's a fabulous one!
Alice: OK, how's it go?
Edward: You're never going to believe how genius it is!
Alice: All right, lay it on us.
Edward: Oh, ho ho! It's pure brilliance!
Alice: JUST SING IT ALREADY!
Edward: All right, all right, woman! You act like I was saying random irrelevant stuff!
Alice: You kind of w—
Edward: Dadada da dadadada! (A/N: Think The Veronicas – Take me on The Floor.)
Alice: Hmm. Sounds familiar.
Alice: And very girly.
Esme: Very right, Bella. Very right.
Jasper: I ABSOLUTELY MUST HAVE A THEME SONG NOW!!! I'M SO JEALOUS OF YOU, EDWARD! YOU'RE ALWAYS THE FAVORITE! AND YOU GOT BELLA!
Athena: What? What do you mean, Edward got me? Is that a bad thing? Why? Are you in love with me?
Jasper: No, I'm not in love with you, you stupid narcissistic OC. Ugh! OCs these days! You know, it used to be that if there was as story with OCs, the OCs would respect the Canons and keep their place! But no-o-o, not anymore. Now, if you're an OC, you get just as much air time as the Canons! You can do whatever they can do! I say, what is it with these OC Rights rallies? They're completely off track! You need to keep the Canons above the OCs in status, or else chaos will break loose! Chaos, I tell you! CHAOS!
Crickets: Chirp chirp.
Athena: While we all appreciated your… enthusiastic speech, I was actually speaking for Bella.
Jasper: Oh. What was the question again?
Athena: -rolls eyes and leaves, replaced by Jacob-
Jacob: Whoo! Finally made it! You guys were hard to track! It was almost like you didn't want me to come!
Rosalie: Evidently we didn't do a good enough job of it. -goes upstairs dramatically-
Jasper: We get rid of one pain, we get another! Ugh! I just want my theme song.
Alice: OKAY AS LONG AS I CAN HAVE ONE TOO BECAUSE IT WOULDN'T BE FAIR IF YOU HAD ONE AND I DIDN'T IT WOULD BE SEXIST JASPER TRISTAN WHITLOCK CULLEN HOW DARE YOU IMPLY THAT YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME!
Jasper: I didn't!
Alice: You were going to!
Never bet against Alice.
Alice: -le gasp- Who said that?
Renesmee: Mommy, duh! She found a way around her strike.
Jacob: Umm…
Renesmee: -le gasp- HOW DARE YOU SHOW YOUR FACE HERE! GET OUT!
Jacob: Nessie! I was only kidding, Nessie! Nessie, how could you think that I would do something like that, Nessie? Nessie, really, Nessie?
Are you purposely trying to annoy me with my daughter's so-called nickname?
Renesmee: LIKELY STORY! GET OUT!
Cassandra: How dare you! You don't deserve him! It was so sad-making when he imprinted on you, because you don't deserve him in the slightest bit! He's mine! All mine!
Jacob: Well… Nessie… are you sure that there's no chance you might forgive me?
Renesmee: There is absolutely no chance in hell.
Jacob: But what about here on Earth?
Renesmee: JAKE!
Jacob: Fine! -unimprints on Renesmee- -imprints on Cassandra-
Alice: Who is this Cassandra anyway?
Athena: Why, she's the very epitome of awesomeness!
Jasper: THEME SONG! MINE!
Alice: ONLY IF YOU LET ME HAVE! MINE!
Jasper: FINE! MINE!
ALICE: OKAY, THEN! MINE!
Whoops. Capsicasps.
Edward: Bella, dear, it's fine if you refuse to speak in script format, but can you at least un-invisible yourself?
I'm not invisible-ing myself….
Edward: YES YOU ARE!
NO I'M NOT!
Edward: YES YOU ARE!
NO I'M NOT!
Alice: -le gasp- EDWARD MUST BE BLIND!
Edward: -le gasp- I MUST BE BLIND!
-le gasp- HE MUST BE BLIND!
Jacob: -le gasp- THAT'S SO FUNNY!
MEANIPOO! My husband is having a CRISIS right now and all you can do is INSULT him?! You disgust me, that slimey, disgusting werewolf Black!!!
Athena: STOP DOING THAT I TOOK IT OFF!
What?
Athena: STOP STEALING MY PHRASE I DON'T HATE JACOB ANYMORE. GOD, YOUR HUSBAND'S BLIND AND YOU'RE DEAF! YOU SICKN ME!
I don't get it.
Cassandra: I DO!
Athena: THANK YOU!
Jasper: Now could we please all listen to my—
OH NO! JASPER!!! I CAN'T HEAR YOU TALKING!!!
Jasper: How do you know I'm talking, then?
I'M NOT BLIND, YOU IDIOT!
Jasper: Wait! You just responded to—
I'M DEAF! I'M DEAF! I'M DEAF AND MY HUSBAND'S BLIND! WHATEVER HAPPENED TO ORDER IN THIS TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE WORLD?!
Edward: Bella dear, it's not THAT bad.
IT IS THAT BAD NOW STOP FEELING AROUND BLINDLY YOU IDIOT OR I'LL GET A DIVORCE!
Edward: -whispering- Alice, I think it's somebody's time of the month…
I DON'T HAVE A TIME OF THE MONTH SINCE YOU CHANGED ME! GAH! HOW COULD YOU!
Edward: Let me remind you that YOU BEGGED ME, and—
JASPER: LET'S JUST HEAR MY THEME SONG ALREADY!
Edward: FINE!
Jasper: FINE!
Edward: FINE!
Jasper: FINE!
Edward: FINE!
Jasper: FINE!
Edward: FINE!
Jasper: FINE!
Edward: FINE!
Jasper: FINE!
Edward: FINE!
Jasper: FINE!
Edward: FINE!
Jasper: FINE!
Edward: FINE!
Jasper: FINE!
Edward: FINE!
Jasper: F—oh, let's just hear it already! -sings Feelings- (A/N: Link in profile. This is THE corniest song. Ever.)
Umm… bravo, loserface? I'm GLAD I couldn't hear that. -leaves-
Alice: MY TURN MY TURN MY TURN! -sings- We represent the lollipop league, the lollipop league, the lollipop league! And on behalf of the lollipop league (!) we'd like to welcome you to munchkinland.
Emmett: Well, if you're going to sing it, you have to do the dance!
Alice: -sigh- FINE!
Emmett: And I half to go next!
Alice: -sigh- FINE! -does the dance and sings- We represent the lollipop league, the lollipop league, the lollipop league! And on behalf of the lollipop league (!) we'd like to welcome you to munchkinland.
Emmett: OKAY OKAY MY TURN! -model pose- -struts down runway and sings I'm Too Sexy-
-back- I WANT A TURN
Emmett: But was mine good or WHAT?!
Whatever, I WANT A TURN!
Emmett: But was mine good or what?
I SAID I WANT A TURN, SOLICITOR!
Emmett: Fine! Here's your stage, Helen Keller.
-sings Clumsy by Fergie- (A/N: If you don't know this song, go look up the lyrics. It's PERFECT!!! THANK YOU OBSESSEDWITHEDWARD!!!)
Edward: Oh, Bella! Now I realize that you really are in love with me! Thank you for expressing your true feelings through song!
What? No, that song was for Fred! -trips off stage into Fred's arms-
Edward: NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!
Alice: -whispers- What do you want to bet he's in denial?
And I leave with a killer parting ling: Never bet against Alice! -leaves with Fred-
Edward: If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go up to my room and be emo.
Athena: Ugh. Again?! How many times are you going to try to be emo for the haters before you realize it ain't yo' jive, homeskillet?
Edward: Talk to me…
Athena: I think you should become a famous French-door-maker and win your love back!
Edward: How will that help—
Athena: -is being paid by the Edward haters-
Edward: NO I WAS BETRAYED!!!
Athena: Oh… darn! Who betrayed you!
Edward: SCOUNDREL! IT WAS—hey, where'd you go?
Athena: Umm, you're blind? You can't see me to begin with?
Bella: I'M SORRY EDWARD! I LIED! FRED IS AN ACTOR I HIRED TO MAKE YOU JEALOUS BUT I JUST CAN'T DO IT BECAUSE I LOVE YOU (blah, blah, blah…)
Edward: Strangely, I believe you. Come on! Let's go skydiving and get a couples' massage!
Andy: -appears- Like me! -disappears- (A/N: I don't own The Office, either. Frown.)
Rosalie: I wanna go for a walk!
Carlisle: But it's sunny and we sparkle!
Athena: Seriously, Carly! Where've you been all chapter?
Carlisle: UM. NOWHWERE. THE BEACH. IT'S WINTER. HOME. YOU ARE HOME. SHUT UP, YOU'RE GOING SOMEWHERE.
Athena: What? Oh, and by the way, if you let us go for a walk, I'll give you my Lamborghini Murcielago! The one I know you loved a couple chapters ago!
Carlisle: WALKS AHOY!
Athena: -to Rosalie- And that is how you get what you want.
Rosalie: We always have to give him Lamborghini Murcielagos?
Athena: -sigh- Just go for the walk, 'kay?
All: -try to step through the door at once- -FAIL.-
Rosalie: It's my chapter! I'm going first!
All Except Rosalie: -grumble- FINE!
Bella: Isn't it a pretty day? I love walks! -sparkle sparkle-
Random Little Boy: GRAMA GRAMA LOOK AT THEIR SKIN!
Random Little Boy's Grandmother: -to RLB- Shh! -to the vampires- I'm sorry, my grandson – my daughter in law hasn't taught him any manners yet.
Edward: -whispering so that the humans cannot hear- Jasper, you can't eat him because he pointed at you.
Jasper: -sticks tongue out-
Esme: That's okay, Random Little Boy's Grandmother!
Random Little Boy's Grandmother: Ummm… thanks.
Random Cow In The Middle of the Park: Moo…
Emmett: Hey! Let's go prank call someone!
All Vampires, Jake, and Cass: -rush home-
Phone: Bringalingaling!
Emmett: Hello?
Hannah: Who is this?
Emmett: Who is this? -presses speaker-
Destiny: Who is this?
Edward: -southern accent- Y'all, I got cows to be tendin'—
Bella: -cowlike- Moo!
Edward: …and Jumby really wants to be born now, so if y'all'd just hang up and call later, that'd be better.
Hannah: Who is this?
Rosalie: -southern accent- Y'ALL ARE COMMUNISTS!
Destiny: Hey! I mean, who is this?
Carlisle: -southern accent- JUMBY WANTS TO BE BORN NOW!
Hannah: Stupid farmer people! You really need a bath! I can smell you through the phone!
Alice: -southern accent- wtf -slaps herself- NO TEXT LANGUAGE!
Destiny: Okay… I can see you've got your little inside jokes here… we're just gonna hang up.
Renesmee: -southern accent- OH NO YOU AREN'T, LITTLE LADIES! YOU WILL WAIT RIGHT THERE WHILE I CALL THE NATIONAL GUARD!
Hannah: Why the National Guard?
Renesmee: -KGB accent- WE WILL ASK THE QUESTIONS HERE!
Destiny: OH MY GAWD IT'S THE KGB!!! RUN!!! -hangs up phone and runs-
All: -normal voices-
Renesmee: Ha ha ha… that was fun.
Athena: But now it's time for filming, so bye-bye! -waves-
A/N: Haha. More Hannah and Destiny coming soon, promise!
So basically, if you didn't pick up on it, Hannah is bossy and Destiny is... ditzy.
Oh, and thanks/sorry, Lucy. I kind of stole that weird prank call you got from random people, and then you got THEM to hang up.
Anyway. Review!
-air kisses- KAYTHANKSBAI
-JV-