This is NOT the end. This is just something bigger and more fun. More short stories will resume upon its completion. It's like, when Disneyland opened, Walt didn't cancel his television show. In fact, it became more awesome than ever!

Also, I'm just throwin' it out there, not that I'm thinking of doing it but the thought did amuse me… but what do you think of a Dimentio-Mimi pairing? Okay, okay, I'm done. I'm handing out brain bleach if you want it. Here it is: Chapter 2

MEANWHILE, THOUSANDS OF MILES AWAY…

In the Forest Maze, O'Chunks, Mimi, and Dimentio were on an important mission. It wasn't an exciting mission, not the kind of mission that the fate of the free world depended on or one with lots of glamour and excitement. It was, however, from Count Bleck himself, and anything from the Count was of the utmost importance to his minions. Even if it was something as small and trivial as picking mushrooms. Which it was.

In his defense, they weren't just ordinary mushrooms. Well, yes, actually, they were just ordinary mushrooms, but none of the mushrooms in the Marioverse are ordinary by our standards. And besides, if you picked the wrong mushroom, it might turn out to be an Amanita, and they do not like to be picked. Amanitas have fists, and they use them to express their displeasure at being approached. So it was dangerous, too. It wasn't a total waste of a mission.

So far, each of them had filled up most of a very large baskets worth. O'Chunks would have had considerably more, but he kept stopping to eat them.

"Oh, I hate this!" Mimi whined as she knelt down by another patch and began picking some red-spotted fungi. "I'm getting dirt all over my new dress."

"I've seen that one before," said Dimentio. "It's not new."

"No, this is This Years dress. It's a slight variation of Last Years," explained Mimi. "See, the last one had two pockets on either side for symmetry, and this one has only one, jauntily askew, for style. Also, the lace is different."

"Please don't say 'jauntily askew', my dear Mimi."

"Sorry." She turned to O'Chunks. "And if you didn't keep eatin' them, we'd be done by now!" She pointed at him accusingly.

"Ah, what're yeh blatherin' on about, lass?" O'Chunks barked, spewing mushroom crumbs all over. "A great warrior the likes o' me 'as teh keep up 'is strength. 'E can't afford teh be riskin' getting' all wibbly-wobbly when 'e's on a mission!"

"O'Chunks, I simply cannot understand a word you are saying," Dimentio told him. "You've been in our country for a very long time, I'm surprised your accent 'asn't diminished a wee bit."

"Mebby yeh'r just pickin' it up instead," O'Chunks teased.

Dimentio clapped his hands over his mouth. "How embarrassing," he mumbled. Then, with his usual flair and confidence, "It matters not. You may continue speaking your tragically garbled English, and I will work doubly hard to keep my speaking full of it's usual eloquence and panache." He snapped his fingers for emphasis.

Mimi clapped her hands a few times in their faces. "Hey! Guys! This is all time we could be using to finish picking these mushrooms and getting' the heck outta here!"

Dimentio grabbed a fistful of mushrooms, squashing a few of the outer ones, and tossed them into his basket. He didn't like to let the others see him get mad, but sometimes he got sick of the part he was playing. The servant, the jester, the loyal minion trying hard to cover up his past sins. It was driving him crazy. They were driving him crazy. He was tired of pretending to be the good guy. If only he knew how to be the bad guy…

He picked a few more red mushrooms, and saw a green one under the bush. He plucked that one, too, and placed it carefully in the basket. Green ones always come in handy. He brushed his hands off over the basket and proclaimed, "Finished."

"Good," said Mimi. "Hey, that basket's not full."

"It's full enough," said Dimentio.

"That's not full enough. If it isn't totally full, the Count's gonna be awful mad at you. And then he's gonna send us all back out again!"

"Ah, is 'e still on that teambuldin' hooey?" O'Chunks asked, ripping up a chunk of earth and sifting it through his fingers. He yielded five mushrooms as he sifted and spoke, "We're workin' like a well-oiled bagpipe an' all he says is, More, more, keep workin' together."

In her best Count Bleck voice, Mimi transformed into him and said, "Now, minions, we can accomplish together much more than we could ever hope to accomplish separately. Everything we do must matter, so says Count Bleck!"

She turned back into herself, giggling. "Silly Count," she laughed. "If he thinks I'm gonna ever work well with Dimentio, he's crazy."

"For once I agree with you," said Dimentio. "The day I work well with you will be the same day Cheep Cheeps grow legs, walk on land, and perform a Toadway rendition of 'My Fair Spiny.'"

"Ooh, that would be so totally cool, though, if it did happen," Mimi said with a delighted twinkle in her eye.

"Absolutely hopeless," Dimentio sighed and shook his head.

Suddenly, something landed next to him, hitting the ground with a small impact noise and splattering dirt all over. The minions scattered.

"We're under attack!" shrieked Mimi.

"What in all the worlds was that?" Dimentio asked, trying to catch his breath. They'd all come to rest behind a bush.

"Some kinda challenge sailin' through the air!" O'Chunks raised his fists. "I'm ready fer it!"

"O'Chunks, not everything is a challenge," Mimi told him.

"Not if yeh'r a real man, it is!"

"…What?!"

Dimentio crept across the ground and approached the mystery item. He picked it up and showed it to them. "A blunt-tipped arrow," he said. "Somebody is doing target practice out in the middle of the forest, presumably where no poor fool can be injured by his failed attempts. It would be best for us to move along now."

"Yeah," said Mimi. "Yeah, that'd be smart. Our baskets are full enough, right?"

"That's not f—"

"Full enough, I know what I said, Dimentio. I changed my mind." She went over to her basket, which she had knocked over in her escape, and began scooping the mushrooms back into it. Another arrow came sailing through the air and landed a few meters away from where they were picking.

O'Chunks put the lid on his basket and slung it over his back. "Right," he said, "Lemme piggy-back on one o' you, I can't get back all the way to Castle Bleck by meself very quickly." Unable to warp like the others, O'Chunks had to resort to cruder methods of getting around.

"Okey-dokey, O'Chunkie," said Mimi with a giggle. "Let me just grab your arm and we'll go."

She picked up her basket and walked to O'Chunks. When she was halfway there, another arrow came sailing out of the sky and landed right on her head. She stopped where she was and dropped the basket. Mushrooms spilled all over the floor. The stuck to the back of her head, directly between her pigtails.

"Mimi!" the other two cried, one out of concern and the other out of sheer surprise.

O'Chunks rushed over to her, and Dimentio followed right behind him. "Are yeh all right? Did it getchya bad?"

"No, I'm okay," said Mimi. "But I feel kinda funny…"

"Let's get yeh back to Castle Bleck. The Count'll know what ta do." He looked at Dimentio. "Can yeh bring me with yeh?"

"I suppose," said Dimentio.

"Wait, I know what's wrong!" Mimi shrieked suddenly. "I can't move! I can't move a muscle! I can't move an inch! I'm can't even wiggle my adorable little nose!"

"Not at all?" asked O'Chunks.

"No! Fix it! Make me better!"

"I- I don't know—"

"Pick her up," instructed Dimentio. "Pick her up and take her back to the castle. Don't loose your head, little that there is to find again."

"Arret!" a voice shouted from in the forest.

The other two froze and looked. Dimentio tucked himself behind O'Chunks, who looked ready for anything.

"Arret! Arret!" it shouted, and then a strange creature emerged from the forest. It was not one like they had seen before. The creature was a lot like a small houseplant, only with two big eyes and a crocodile snout on a clearly-defined head. It had a stem that ended in six roots, which it used as legs, and big, bushy leaves tied back into a ponytail. It had two red bands on his neck just above its legs and two large leafy vines it was moving like arms.

He crawled up to them and, waving his arms, began speaking quickly in a foreign language that none of them recognized.

O'Chunks and Dimentio explained puzzled looks.

"Parlez-vous Francais?" the creature asked. It's voice was distinctly male.

He got no response.

"Sprechen Sie Deutsch?"

Again, nothing.

"Hablas espanol?"

O'Chunks shrugged.

"Nihongo o hanashimasu ka?" The creature looked from one to the other, desperately.

Dimentio shook his head.

"Nǐ huì shuō Zhōngwén ma?"

O'Chunks picked up Mimi and began to back up.

"Do you speak English?" the creature asked, one last-ditch effort to communicate.

"I understood that one!" Mimi cried out happily.

"Yes, Mimi, we all did," said Dimentio.

"Oh, thank the trees," sighed the creature. "I was running out of languages. My name's Nawrocki, and I've been in this forest for a while. I saw the arrows flying, and I knew that there were people here, and… well, to make a long story short, I can help your friend."

"Thank you all the same," said Dimentio, "but we'd best get back to our home."

"Come on," Nawrocki urged. "I can make a potion that will have her fixed up in two shakes. In fact, I probably still have some left over…" He reached under his arm behind him, and pulled out a flask.

"Where were you—" Dimentio started, but O'Chunks interrupted, "Where'r them arrows comin' from, anyway?"

"Hssht-ssht-ssht!" Nawrocki held up one 'finger' as he uncorked the flask and wafted the smell to his nose. "Still good," he said. "Two drops under each eye should do the trick." He dipped one of his vines into the flask and held it out over Mimi's head, which O'Chunks reluctantly lowered.

"Ahh!" Mimi shrieked when the drop hit her cheeks. "That's ice cold!"

"Please be silent," said Nawrocki.

"Sorry. You have to concentrate, donchya?"

"No, I just don't like your voice."

Mimi snorted.

"All done," said Nawrocki lightly. "Try and move."

Mimi tilted her head to the left, then the right. Then she stretched out her arms and jumped to the ground. "Hurray!" she cried happily. "Crisis averted!" She grabbed Nawrocki in a big hug. "Thank you, thank you! You're so great!"

"I know."

She let go of him. "How can I ever thank you enough?

"Perhaps we should bring him back to the castle," said Dimentio, "so that the Count may thank him."