Title: Stranger In My Own Life
Author: Adian

Genre: Meredith Centric - A/U – It's canon except for a few minor differences until Epi 325 Didn't We Almost Have It All. From there the story is A/U.
Rating: T (Mainly for language)
Summary: What happens when you realize you don't know who you are anymore?

Notes:

1. This story has not had the benefit of a beta and it is written in the present tense for the most part.

2. I have done research on the medical issues that are in this story. I think I understand it but I'm sure there will be mistakes. I've never written a GA story and the medical aspect of it has been challenging.

3. This is not a Derek friendly story. Read at your own peril.

Disclaimer: Grey's Anatomy is a creation of Shonda Rhimes and an ABC Studios Production. This story is meant strictly for entertainment purposes and no money is being made off of the forthcoming drivel.

Chapter 5

Two days later the mountain is on duty again in front of Meredith's door. His unrelenting smirk is grating Derek's nerves. Mark walks up giving the officer a coffee before sitting next to Derek and handing him one.

Derek whispers, "Traitor."

Det. Brewton approaches with two officers. He states, "Doctor Derek Sheppard you are under arrest. Please stand up. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to have an attorney present during questioning." As Derek's rights are being read, the police officers are placing him in handcuffs. "If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you. Do you understand these rights?"

In disbelief, Derek mumbles, "Yes."

Entry 10

He's married. Married. Married. OMG he's married. His wife walked in and said I was screwing her husband. I couldn't breathe. My heart stopped. For the last few months we haven't been falling in love we've been screwing, he's been cheating on his wife. I've become my mother. Faith my ass. He's married. I'm a mistress, a whore.

Mark begins making phone calls. The first is to Ford their lawyer. While he waits at the station for Derek to be processed, he makes the second much harder call to Mama Sheppard.

"Mama it's Mark…it's about Derek. He's been arrested. I called Ford he's on his way."

Mrs. Sheppard asks, "What happened?"

Mark explains, "I wasn't there but a few days ago there was supposed to be a wedding for one of the Attendings Burke and an Intern Cristina Yang. Derek was the Best Man and Meredith Grey the Maid of Honor."

Mrs. Sheppard asks, "The slutty intern?"

Mark yells, "She's not a slut! Derek never told her he was married. She found out from Addison."

"Oh…"

Mark continues, "Burke called off the wedding and Meredith went up to the front to tell everyone to go home. Derek started yelling at her. He grabbed her eventually pushing her away from him. She fell against a pew cracking her head open."

"It sounds like an accident so why was he arrested?"

Frustrated Mark says, "Mama I don't know. I've been able to find out that Meredith is in a coma. The police have questioned everyone me included. The police wouldn't have arrested him if they didn't have hard evidence of something."

"Thank you for being there for taking care of him. I'll call you back with my flight information."

Entry 11

I've become someone's person by choice not necessity. Cristina asked me to go with her to get a procedure done to help her to take care of her. All my "friends" before are party friends not anyone I'd go to for a real emergency. I wasn't expecting to get a real friend out of my internship years. Usually everyone is so focused on being the best that friendships don't develop.

Addison, Dr. Sheppard's wife requested me for a neo-natal surgery. I look at her and I don't understand why he was even interested in me. She's beautiful, confident, world-renowned, etc. in a word flawless. She even stood up for me to a patient, which shocked me. She said she cheated on Derek. I do not understand that at all.

I went by Derek's trailer to get his side of the story. He told me about finding Addison in their bed with his best friend Mark. He told me I was a breath of fresh air to him and that is all he knew. I told him it wasn't enough. I wasn't ready to admit to him that I loved him. I'm barely able to admit it to myself.

He pursed me knowing he was still married if he had told me tonight that he loved me I could have forgiven him. If he had told me they were getting divorced I could have seen it through. Being a breath of fresh air is just not enough to hold onto. There is no future with a married man it is a lesson mother learned the hard way I cannot repeat her mistakes.

Derek is lead into a room for questioning. Mark asks Det. Howard, "Can I see him?"

"No."

Mark asks, "What is he being charged with?"

Det. Howard answers, "Aggravated Assault and Aggravated Battery."

Mark whispers, "Oh my god."

Entry 12

I'm becoming better friends with all my resident's interns. We spend so much time together that it is hard to maintain the walls all the time. I'm adapting to Izzie's perky optimism, George's niceness, and Alex's being an asshole. I may not like Alex much but like recognizes like and he's as dark and twisty as I. Cristina is my person and the darkness in me doesn't scare her. She scares most people but I realize how much she cares about a treasured few. Cris has her own darkness that is why we get along so well. Neither of us are bright and shiny people and we don't have much of a tolerance level for those who are.

Dr. Sheppard seems to think that what he told me was baring his soul. I'm a breath of fresh air is soul worthy? Seriously? Addison checked to see if her hubby told me his version of what happened. Her version of the story is she was trying to get his attention. As Die would say those two are 'dicked in the nob.' I told him to stay away and her we'd have a professional relationship. I hope they both go back to New York soon so I can wallow in my misery without them as an audience.

Cristina has been seeing Burke. I'm her person and she didn't tell me! He broke up with her so we've been drowning our sorrows in my old friend Jose. I think part of it is all the messiness of my relationship with Sheppard. Burke has way more self-control than Derek does. Burke is an intensely private individual just as Cristina is. They kept their relationship so far under the radar I didn't know about it until it was over. But I don't think it's over between them.

Once Det. Howard goes into the room with Derek Mark makes a call. "Ford it's serious. The police just told me he is being charged with aggravated assault and aggravated battery. He's in there alone when are you going to be here?"

"I need you to calm down Mark. I'll be there tonight with Mrs. Sheppard. I called a friend of mine Brian Langston. I'll help as much as I can but I'm not a criminal attorney. Brian's agreed to be Derek's attorney of record. He should be there within the hour."

Mark asks, "What do I need to do now?"

Ford says, "Stay there. Keep asking to see Derek. If you see him before Brian gets there tell him to ask for a lawyer and to keep quiet. Tell him Brian is on his way. Tell him Mrs. Sheppard and I are on the way. You know how he is don't let him give into despair. We won't know what's really going on until Brian gets access to the evidence."

Relieved to have something to do Mark says, "I can do that."