Title: Stranger In My Own Life
Author: Adian

Genre: Meredith Centric - A/U – It's canon except for a few minor differences until Epi 325 Didn't We Almost Have It All. From there the story is A/U.
Rating: T (Mainly for language)
Summary: What happens when you realize you don't know who you are anymore?

Notes:

I have done research on the medical issues that are in this story. I think I understand it but I'm sure there will be mistakes. I've never written a GA story and the medical aspect of it has been challenging.

This is not a Derek friendly story. Read at your own peril.

Disclaimer: Grey's Anatomy is a creation of Shonda Rhimes and an ABC Studios Production. This story is meant strictly for entertainment purposes and no money is being made off of the forthcoming drivel.

Chapter 6

Evening has arrived and Derek has refused to see anyone. Relief courses through Mark when he sees Mama Sheppard walk into the police station. He stands up engulfing her in a hug. She holds him tight letting all his fear and sadness flow into her.

Eventually he pulls back. "Mama he wouldn't see me or Langston."

"Don't worry Mark he'll see me." Mrs. Sheppard walks to the desk and asks to see her son.

Entry 13

I don't even know where to start. Christina had an extra uterine pregnancy she almost bled out. I almost lost my person today. I just got her I can't lose her.

Mom's secret is out she had to be rushed here. She has a non-cancerous mass near her liver. She thought George was her ex-husband Thatcher. She treated him so badly was so dismissive of him and me.

Alex was a godsend with mother. Izzie was right Evil Spawn can be human. I wish he'd be human more often.

Dr. Sheppard won't leave me alone and try as I might I can't hate him. He has a wife but pursues me silently. Those eyes of his he won't quit staring at me. He doesn't know the meaning of the word discreet and the whole hospital thinks we're still sleeping together because of the way he is acting towards me. I'm being treated as a whore because of him. I wish they'd go back to New York.

The next morning finds all parties in court for Derek's arraignment. His mother has whipped him into shape making him shave and shower. Mark went by the trailer and picked up a suit for him to wear. He is in a holding cell waiting to be called before the judge. His mom, Mark and the lawyers are in the courtroom.

The judge calls his case and the guards walk him into the courtroom. The first person he sees is Cristina Yang sitting behind the Prosecutor's table. He stares at her until the guards tell him to be seated.

The Bailiff says, "All rise the Honorable Judge Warner presiding."

The judge motions for them all to be seated. He opens the case file and says, "Will Dr. Derek Sheppard please rise."

Derek and his lawyers rise.

The judge continues, "Dr. Derek Sheppard you are charged with Aggravated Assault and Aggravated Battery against Meredith Grey. If found guilty the minimum penalty will be five years in jail with the maximum being ten years in jail. You have the right to a preliminary hearing where the prosecution must provide sufficient evidence to the court that the charges against you have validity. If the prosecution cannot provide sufficient evidence of the crime being committed then the matter will be dismissed. If the prosecution does establish probable cause then your case will be bound over to the district court for trial. You have the right to counsel if you request it. If you do and cannot afford legal representation the court will appoint a lawyer to you do you understand these rights Dr. Sheppard?"

Nervous Derek squeaks out, "Yes…yes Your Honor."

"Good now to the matter of bail. Mr. Radcliff you may begin."

Prosecutor Radcliff stands up. "Your Honor we recommend the accused remain in custody and be denied bail."

The judge asks, "Why?"

"The accused Dr. Derek Sheppard remained outside of the room of Meredith Grey except for police questioning and when he was arrested. He continually badgered the doctors, nurses, and other support staff about her prognosis. He repeatedly tried to enter Ms. Grey's room against the wishes of Dr. Cristina Yang who holds Ms. Grey's medical proxy, her lawyer Mr. Vernon Davis, and the Chief of Surgery Doctor Richard Webber's own orders. Mr. Davis had to hire security guards to keep Dr. Sheppard out of the room. The guards are off duty police and I have their sworn statements as to Dr. Derek Sheppard's behavior. Dr. Sheppard's actions have put Meredith Grey into a coma. Given his state of mind and obsession with Ms. Grey, we feel it is best he remain in police custody. Ms. Grey's caretakers are afraid of what he might do to her when she has no ability to protect herself."

Entry 14

Mother's living out her internship years and driving Chief and George crazy. Cristina finally broke. Barbie and Evil spawn are dating. George broke up with the Syph nurse. Derek is all up in my space. Addison gave Derek divorce papers but he hasn't signed them. She told me that if there was the slightest chance he'd forgive her she wasn't leaving Seattle.

I remember being so sure as a child that my father loved me and that he'd come and take me away from Ellis. The feeling eventually faded as days turned into weeks, then months. I'd always wondered why Ellis and Thatcher had me and now I know. They didn't want me but Ellis's symptoms were so obvious everyone figured it out before she did. Both were just getting established in their careers and it was the worst time ever to have a baby. Once her Chief congratulated her she had to go through with the pregnancy. Thatcher was pissed with her decision but appearances meant more to her than his opinion. So now, I know why I'm here and why it was so easy for Thatcher to leave me behind.

If I had known that I wasn't wanted I probably would have fought less with Ellis. I tried so hard to get her to love me to notice me little did I know I should have been grateful that she provided for me at all.

The Bailiff walks to Prosecutor Radcliff's desk, grabs the guards' affidavits, and hands them to the judge. The judge reads them and then asks, "Mr. Langston are you Dr. Derek Sheppard's legal counsel?"

Brian Langston rises and says, "I am Your Honor. The prosecution failed to mention that Dr. Derek Sheppard and Dr. Meredith Grey are dating. He has been in front of her room because he loves her and Dr. Cristina Yang has instituted a gag order against him. Derek Sheppard just wants to know how his girlfriend is doing. He wants access to her medical data because he is one of the foremost neurosurgeons in the country and he wants to help her. "

Judge Warner mulls over what he has heard. He says, "Love or obsession both sides have made valid arguments. The basic facts cannot be changed Meredith Grey is in a coma fighting for her life because of Dr. Derek Sheppard's actions. I have read the testimony the guards have provided and I agree that Derek Sheppard will not stay away from Meredith Grey. In the interest of her well being I am finding in favor of the prosecution and remanding Dr. Derek Sheppard to police custody."

Judge Warner views the reactions of his audience. Dr. Yang is relieved and Dr. Sheppard is devastated. He is not sure who is right at this point but errs in favor of Meredith Grey who cannot yet speak for herself.

Entry 15

I asked him to sign the divorce papers and chose me. He didn't. I didn't think anyone could hurt me as badly as Ellis and Thatcher. I was wrong. I begged him for his love. He said she's my wife…my wife. Was I just a game? A distraction? I haven't loved a man since Thatcher. I should've known better. Men can't be trusted. They are only good for one thing. How could I have been so snowed by him? How could I have let myself believe in him? He taunts me with what I cannot have. His Dreamy smile, his sincere blue eyes…Bastard! He chooses her and still he chases me. Is that all I'm good for a bit of fluff on the side?

I don't know why I expected him to be different from Thatcher.