I put a warning on this story from the very beginning warning readers away if they couldn't handle a negative portrayal of Derek. I've received several comments about this story centering on how Derek could never hurt Meredith. In the beginning, I was a huge Meredith and Derek fan but as the seasons progressed, I became less and less enchanted with Derek. I watched the seasons back to back and I became really angry with the way Derek has treated Meredith. When things cease to go his way Derek gets vicious either verbally or physically. He goes for the jugular and says or does what will hurt the most. The longer Derek has run from his own issues the more explosive his temper has become. With him being so angry all the time a "What If" scenario was born. A Stranger In My Own Life is the product of that scenario.

Title: Stranger In My Own Life
Author: Adian

Genre: Meredith Centric - A/U – It's canon except for a few minor differences until Epi 325 Didn't We Almost Have It All. From there the story is A/U.
Rating: T (Mainly for language)
Summary: What happens when you realize you don't know who you are anymore?

Notes:

I have done research on the medical issues that are in this story. I think I understand it but I'm sure there will be mistakes. I've never written a GA story and the medical aspect of it has been challenging.

This is not a Derek friendly story. Read at your own peril.

Disclaimer: Grey's Anatomy is a creation of Shonda Rhimes and an ABC Studios Production. This story is meant strictly for entertainment purposes and no money is being made off of the forthcoming drivel.

Chapter 8

A few weeks later a majority of the wedding guests are gathered once again only outside a courtroom this time. They file into a witness waiting room. An officer reads out the rules to them. They will be spending the day in silence staring at each other unless called to the stand.

Judge Gardner walks in and the Bailiff says, "All rise the Honorable Judge Gardner presiding."

The judge motions for them all to be seated. He opens the case file and says, "Will Dr. Derek Sheppard please rise."

Derek and his lawyers rise.

The judge continues, "Dr. Derek Sheppard you have been indicted by the Grand Jury on charges of Aggravated Assault and Aggravated Battery against Meredith Grey. Assault is a crime of violence against another person. It can include any physical contact with another person without his or her consent, the threat of violence through an immediate show of force to actual violence. Aggravated Battery is a felony grade offense involving the loss of the victim's limb or some other type of permanent disfigurement or impairment of the victim. To be found guilty of Aggravated Battery the law requires a volitional act that results in harmful or offensive contact with another person committed with the intent to cause a harmful or offensive contact or with a reckless disregard as to whether such contact will result. If found guilty the minimum penalty will be five years in jail with the maximum being ten years in jail. Mr. Radcliff you may begin opening statements for the prosecution."

Dr. Alex Karev sits in the courtroom next to Dr. Cristina Yang behind the prosecutor's table. The courtroom is surprisingly empty. The judge has had the witnesses sequestered so they aren't influenced by others testimony. He tunes out the opening statements instead he watches Derek Sheppard. His time in jail has left its mark Derek's surgeon's arrogance is long gone. Five women sit behind him their faces reflect the same disbelief and despair that Derek's does.

Entry 18

It's Thanksgiving and Izzie has all these plans to celebrate. She doesn't know it but I volunteered to work. I've never celebrated the holidays it wasn't a priority with Ellis. She usually worked holidays and I was with a nanny or by myself. I can only imagine what Christmas will be like if Izzie is this excited about Thanksgiving.

I had a patient today Mr. Holden an ex-firefighter injured on the job. He has been in a vegetative state for 16 years. He looked at me and no one would believe me. Turns out, he became minimally conscious over the years. Dr. Sheppard woke him up. Holden's wife had just remarried and is pregnant by her new husband. His son is about to graduate. They all were so lost.

Mr. Holden woke up to a totally different world; a world that had passed him by one that he no longer had a place in. He died on the table after meeting his adult son. I don't think he really wanted to live to start over. I think he would rather have stayed unconscious and lived in a world where he was still a husband, a father, and life was just beginning for his family.

Alex listens to the first witness the preacher who was supposed to marry Burke and Yang. Alex watches the jurors' faces as they visibly react to the preacher's description of the fight between Meredith and Derek. His testimony is damning.

Pictures are put up of Meredith before the fight and after the fight. The dark hand shaped bruises are vivid against Meredith's pale skin. A blown up picture of the bruises is shown. Fingerprints can be seen. An expert witness is comparing them to Derek Sheppard's and giving a positive ID.

A Board Member and his wife give testimony next. They are followed by the videographer he testifies to shooting the video that is about to be seen. An officer testifies to the video not having been tampered with.

The people in the courtroom watch the non-wedding unfold. They see the groom leave the front of the church. A few minutes later Meredith Grey walks to the front of the church and says something to the crowd. People begin standing up to leave. The exodus halts as the wedding guests watch the fight unfold between the best man and the maid of honor. They watch Derek Sheppard grab Meredith by the arm. They see Meredith try to break free but Sheppard grabs her other arm. He yells at Meredith shaking her. She yells at him still struggling to break free. Sheppard picks her up tosses her away from him. Meredith flies through the air her head landing on the edge of a pew. Her body falls to the ground blood gushing from her head. They see Sheppard freeze and a look of horror cross his face. They see a tall older black man run up to Meredith his phone out. A bevy of people rush forward one of them being Cristina Yang. Two minutes later a black woman pushes through to the front with a black bag handing it to the older black man. The man and Yang work frantically to stop the bleeding. Paramedics run in with a gurney. A few minutes later Meredith is wheeled out attached to various wires and tubes. Yang in a blood soaked wedding dress leaves with the paramedics.

A machine is rolled in to view CT scans. Dr. McCrarry is called up to the stand. After he is sworn in, he puts Meredith's CT scans on the viewer. A gasp can be heard from the medical personnel in the courtroom.

Dr. McCrarry explains to the judge and jurors what the medical personnel already knew. The extensive damage to the hippocampus meant that Meredith had little chance of ever waking up much less having the mental capacity to live her life as she previously had.

Derek sits in his chair sobbing. The prosecution has rested its case.

Entry 19

I see them together almost daily. They are reconciling. I see them touch and he isn't turning away from her anymore. Every touch is like a dagger through my heart. I try to fill the void with Jose and men but I just feel emptier. I don't understand how he can reconcile with her and treat me this way. Derek won't stop with the looks, the sniffing of my hair, the trying to be my friend I just want to scream. I want to indulge in a fit that would keep the hospital talking for years but I refrain. I want the pain to end. When will they go back to New York and grant me some peace?