CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

Cuddy looked at herself in the mirror. She sighed loudly and blew a wisp of hair out of her face. The bangs just weren't working. She tried to smooth them aside with her hands, but to no avail. "Why didn't anybody talk me out of this?" she said, staring at herself and her poofy mom hair.

The reason no one had talked her out of her new hair cut was because she hadn't asked anyone's advice. As usual, she launched into this latest venture the way she did everything else in her life, alone.

The doorbell pulled her away from her image and toward the front door. "You're on time," she said, surprised.

House pushed his way across the threshold. "I knew you'd get into a snit if I didn't show up on time, so here I am." He shoved a bouquet of wild flowers at her.

"I don't get into snits." She sniffed the flowers nervously, half expecting water to shoot out of them like a clowns lapel. Nothing came out of the flowers except a beautiful fragrance of lilies and jasmine. "These are nice."

"Wilson's idea." House was looking around the foyer, avoiding her gaze.

"Of course it is." She sighed and carried her flowers into the kitchen. "I'll just put them in a vase and we can leave," she called over her shoulder.

"'Kay." House took the time to poke around. He was in luck. She'd left her purse on the small side table beneath the mirror. He dug his way through hair accessories and wondered why she thought she needed any of it.

"Are you looking for something?" She was standing behind him, arms crossed, toe tapping.

"Yeah, but they're not here." He reached in his pocket. "Luckily I come prepared." She smiled as the row of condoms unfurled in his hand.

"You won't be needing all of those." She took them from him and shoved them in her purse.

"Not all…but some." He sounded hopeful.

"Well, you did say you were lucky." She took his hand and led him out the door. House grabbed her condom filled purse on the way out.

"Don't forget this." He handed it to her as they walked to his car.

"Where are we going?" She lowered herself into the passenger seat as he swung the door shut and circled around.

Once he was in the drivers seat he answered. "Surprise."

"I don't like surprises." She quantified that statement with, "not when they're coming from you."

"Relax Cuddy. I'm your boyfriend now. I wouldn't do anything to embarrass you." He sped off down the street.

Cuddy hadn't thought about embarrassment. Now she was even more worried. "Where are we going House?" There was a hint of nervousness in her voice now.

"You'll see when we get there." He flipped on his blinker half way through the turn. He'd caught what looked like a cop car out of the corner of his eye.

"I want to know now."

"If I told you what I want now, you'd hit me." And she would, because what he wanted was illegal when one was driving a moving vehicle, and unless he was mistaken, was also illegal in ten states and Puerto Rico if he wasn't mistaken.

She moaned and leaned back in her seat. "I've got my cell phone, so don't think you can leave me by the side of some deserted road and get away with it."

"You shouldn't have told me that." House grinned and reached out for her purse.

"Give that back!" She protested, and started to pull it away from him, but realized he was still driving and gave up the fight in exchange for safety. "It's not even in my bag."

"You're lying." House used one hand to steer while the other went digging in her purse. It didn't take long as it wasn't a very big bag. There was no phone.

"People don't always lie." She smiled at him as she fondled the phone in her pocket.

"You told me you loved me once. Was that a lie?" He was trying to force a lie out of her, just to prove himself right.

"Yes, I did." She would play his game.

"But not anymore?"

"What makes you say that?" She could see he was getting frustrated.

"The fact that you're avoiding the question."

"I'm not avoiding the question. Why are you avoiding my questions?"

"What question?"

"Where are we going?"

He fumed. "If I tell you where we're going, you'll tell me if you're still in love with me?"

"I am still in love with you, you idiot." She sighed heavily. "But if you don't tell me where we're going I'm not going to MAKE love to you tonight."

"Oh really?" House crooked an eyebrow.

"Really." She seemed pretty sure.

"Wanna bet?" So did he.

"You don't have anything I want."

"Doesn't matter, because you're not going to win." He turned down another street.

"Are we going to the hospital?" Cuddy knew this route. She took it to work every day.

"Nope." House shook his head as he pulled onto the Princeton Campus.

"I'm not going to a frat party," Cuddy insisted. It had been years since she had been to one. She had always been quite popular at frat parties, now that she thought about it. Bet she still could be if she tried.

"Do you really think I'd take you to a frat party?"

"Yes."

"I'll keep that in mind." House pulled into a parking spot in front of McCosh Hall.

Cuddy was about to question him again but realized it was pointless and followed him out of the car. She noticed a few students lingering near the door. One pointed at them as they entered the historic building. Out of habit she looked at the announcement board as they walked passed. "Diagnostics Lecture with Guest Speaker Dr. Gregory House." She processed this information for a moment. "That's you."

"Yes it is." He smiled.

"You're giving a lecture?"

"Yes I am."

"Why?" She felt there had to be a catch.

"Because you're always telling me that part of my job is to mold and shape young minds."

"You never listen to me."

"I do listen to you. I just don't usually agree with what you have to say." He grinned and pushed his way into McCosh 50.

She hurried after him. "But you don't agree with me. You hate molding young minds. You say it's a waste of your time and talent."

"Maybe I've changed my mind." The hall was starting to fill up. Many young med students had heard of Dr. House, some had even met him, but they all knew that he never gave lectures, and he was the foremost authority on diagnostics. It was a rare treat that none of them could pass up. House found himself oddly pleased at the turnout.

"You don't change your mind House." Cuddy was impressed with the turnout as well, though she knew that putting House's name on a lecture would draw a crowd.

House stopped short. Cuddy nearly crashed into him as he turned to face her. "Maybe you don't know me as well as you think you do?" He turned again and headed up on stage leaving her to find a seat in the audience of young, eager minds.

She noticed a few of her colleagues amongst the younger crowd. Wilson was sitting in the front row. He motioned to her to join him.

"He told me you were coming." Wilson moved his coat off the seat beside him. "Asked me to save you a seat."

"He didn't tell ME we were coming." She sat down and turned to look at her boyfriend, up on the stage. House really was a good speaker, when he put his mind to it. She only hoped he wasn't planning something she would have to chastise him for.

"hehe," Wilson chuckled. "All couples have their secrets." The idea of House and Cuddy as a couple tickled him. The idea that House was in a relationship when he was not tickled him. He couldn't wait to harass House the way he had been harassed by House for years.

"I am Dr. Gregory House." House's voice filled the room. "And this is Everybody Lies: The Dangers of Patient Input in Diagnostics. Today we will be discussing trust." He looked pointedly at his date.

"Oh God," Cuddy exclaimed under her breath.

"Relax. It's not as bad as it sounds. He showed me the speech this morning." Wilson put his hand on hers, a comforting gesture that was almost second nature to him. House's eyes shot down to them and the speech he had so carefully crafted fled from his mind. "First I need a volunteer from the audience. You sir!" He pointed at Wilson. "Come on up here and help me out."

"Me?" Wilson was terrified. He was pretty sure his heart had just stopped beating, at least for a moment. He removed his hand from Cuddy's unaware that he'd even put it there. It hadn't meant anything. It was just a friendly gesture. He now realized it had meant a lot more than that to his friend. "I…uh…"

"Come on; let's hear it for our volunteer." House riled up the crowd. "And what's your name young man?"

"James," Wilson grumbled.

"Sorry? What was that? We can't hear you." House shoved the microphone toward Wilson. It very nearly gave him a bloody nose.

"James," Wilson said into the mic, bringing up a sharp screech of feedback. "James Wilson."

"Ah, well, Jim. You don't mind if I call you Jim do you? Tell me, have we ever met before?" House communicated the answer to his friend with a very subtle head movement.

"No." Wilson felt Satan preparing his room in hell as he spoke.

"Great. Now, I am going to diagnose you." He looked at his eager audience. "Prepare to be amazed."

Cuddy sunk down in her seat, realizing quickly that something had gone wrong.

"You're a doctor, aren't you Jim?"

"I am." Wilson leaned awkwardly into the microphone every time he spoke. It made him adorably geeky and several young women were scribbling his name in their notebooks. One was drawing a rather impressive sketch of him, House's words glossing over her like background noise.

"Let me see…" House gave Wilson the once over, carefully studying the man. "I'm getting you as a cancer doctor."

Wilson pretended to be surprised. "Are you psychic?"

"No. I'm just highly observant." House's voice held an icy danger just beneath the surface.

Wilson smiled nervously. Cuddy squirmed in her seat, wondering if she should stop this now, before it was too late.

"You've been married a few times?"

"Three." Wilson was starting to feel uncomfortable.

"Cheated on all of them." House held Wilson's hand, inspecting it as if he were diagnosing something.

"Not all of them," Wilson protested.

Cuddy stood up and spoke loudly. She couldn't let poor Wilson go through this. "What exactly are we supposed to be learning from this Dr. House?" She made sure he knew she was annoyed.

"You're supposed to learn not to hold hands with a womanizer while your boyfriend is giving a lecture."

The auditorium went silent. Sketch girl's pen froze in place. The clatter of keyboards stopped. The lecture had just gotten a whole lot more interesting.

"I wasn't holding his hand." She had forgotten about the now silent audience.

House turned to the auditorium. "They both lied. I know for a fact that Wilson has cheated on all three of his wives, and not two minutes ago, they were holding hands." House shooed Wilson off the stage. "Everyone lies. If your patient tells you his name is Bob, don't take his word for it. Do the research."

"So he was lying when he said he didn't know you?" Some metal head from the audience shouted out.

"Well duh! Haven't you ever been to a magic show? Or seen one on TV? Or heard about one? There's always a plant. Some guy in the audience that the performer put in there to astound the audience with his psychic abilities, or to pretend to yank the fake chains before the performer gets dumped into the vat of water. Don't believe everything you see or hear."

"Then why should we believe you?" The female artist asked.

"You shouldn't. You should ask yourselves what reason I might have to lie to you. Wilson lied about cheating because he doesn't want to look like a cad. Cuddy lied about holding his hand because she's trying to be faithful."

"They're having an affair!" A pony-tailed sorority girl burst out with her diagnosis.

"Obviously," House said with a smirk. He wondered how far Cuddy and Wilson would let this go.

"We are not having an affair!" Wilson protested.

"Who believes him?" House looked out over the young, impressionable faces. No one's hand went up.

Cuddy simply watched, her wheels turning. She saw that spark in House's eye. When he was up to something, he got a little twinkle in the corner of his eye. He had it now. She wanted to trust that he wasn't going to screw things up too badly.

"Why not?" House asked.

Everyone sat and looked at each other. It was rocker boy who finally answered. "Cause you said it was obvious. Why else would they lie?"

"But I told you why they lied."

"They're not having an affair?" The blonde asked, her pony tail hanging to one side as she cocked her head in confusion.

The conversation went on this way for over half an hour. Every time one of the students made a suggestion, House challenged it, and questioned it until everyone was left in confusion. Wilson had shaken his head and given up following the proceedings. He pulled out his iPhone and watched UTube videos, hoping the lecture would end soon so he could go without hurting his friend's feelings.

Cuddy was fascinated. She always enjoyed watching House teach. Back in college he had been forced into teaching a special class on diagnostics to a select group of students. Cuddy had been amongst them. His lessons, if one was able to follow them, were far more meaningful than anything she learned in her regular classes.

"…so, that's why you should check your facts before making a diagnosis." House was finishing up his final thoughts when Cuddy returned to the present. She felt his eyes on her. What he was about to say was meant for her, and she knew exactly what it was. "Remember, everybody lies. Anyone who tells you they are not lying, is lying." House turned and walked off the stage.

"That was subtle," Cuddy said as she got up to greet him.

"Oh, damn, I was going for painfully obvious."

"That wasn't the speech you showed me this morning." Wilson too had gotten up and was talking to his friend as several impressed young students came up to thank the good doctor for his insightful lecture.

"The kids love me," House told his friends as he received yet another thank you.

"Are you even listening?" Wilson asked.

"Sure."

"You're lying."

"You're leaving." House pushed Wilson aside and put his arm around Cuddy's waist. It was an odd feeling, being so demonstrative of his feelings for her in public. It felt oddly nice.

"Great lecture House." Wilson got in one last lie before he left.

"I thought so." House was walking her down the hall with a proud strut he tried to hide. He liked walking with her on his arm. He noticed a few of the lingering young men looking on with envy.

"I can't wait to see what's next." She meant it, too. There was an excitement in the air when she was with House. There was always an element of surprise, always an exhilarating fear of the unknown. House excited her the way no other man had been able to. God knows she'd tried to find another man, a more stable man, who could make her feel the way she did around House, but she had failed miserably. There was no one quite like the man now walking her to his car, about to whisk her away on God knows what adventure, and she was willing to follow him anywhere.