Akuen
Disclaimer: …A girl can dream, can't she? But alas, he belongs to Kubo Tite!
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I searched among the card displays,
To see if I could find,
A little something that would say
Just what was on my mind.
However there was not a one,
That captured it just right,
For no one else can understand
Just what I'd like to write.
I even find it difficult
To try to write it down,
For how do I portray to you,
The love that I have known?
I close my eyes and what I see,
Is someone I adore;
A person who is beautiful,
Right down into their soul.
Mere words cannot describe
The many qualities you show,
The love and caring nature that
You share with those who know.
Your kind and gentle temperament,
Your sweet angelic smile,
Your softly spoken sentiments,
That reach across the miles.
Your smile and laugh that sparkle with
The softness of your sighs,
The way your face lights up a room…
That twinkle in your eye.
The loving gestures through the years,
That quickly come to mind,
For always you've a gentle word
To calm and soothe I find.
I struggle and I search to try
To find some words anew…
And yet I cannot capture
All the things that make you you.
I shall therefore, be satisfied
That you must simply know,
Just how I feel about you,
For with words I cannot show.
"Mere Words" by Kit McCallum
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Chapter 2: Where Your Heart Lies
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The grass was wild with a lush, vibrant green hue, and rich with the scent of honeysuckle and wildflowers. The glaring sun shined with vivacious tenacity, never allowing the shadows to creep further than beyond their object's domain. The warm spring-summer wind shook the leaves about the dozens of oak trees littering around the area of Mt. Koifushi in Hokutan. Robins, blue jays, finches, cardinals and others chirped in harmony with each other. Their distinctly different hymns mashing together in another song of nature's multiple choruses. The deep, never-seeming-to-end azure sky was spotted with fluffy white clouds.
Kaien absolutely loved it here, and he thought to himself with an amused expression, so does Kuchiki.
He couldn't help but watch with warm disregard as the seemingly cold and emotionless, the "perfect little sister" of a powerful family, discard the china doll princess act and instead, run through the mid-calf length grass that rippled with the powerful breeze. Her carefree smile displayed obviously across her delicate features, and even though he didn't hear her, Kaien would have been sure to hear that she was laughing inside, joyously. Adjusting his small Shiba sack, Kaien shouted at her in order to keep her from wondering off and potentially getting lost (as he was absolutely certain that only she could do),
"OI! Where're you goin'?! This is the spot!"
He watched with a small smile quirked on his lips as she slowly came to a stop. She turned to look at the large, grassy mountain roughly a mile away, her chest ballooning and her eyes filled with emotion. Dropping his bag beside a fallen down tree, Kaien waited for her to return, the care-free smile still on her face. His hand rested on the juncture of the hilt of his sword and the end of his sheath. Once she placed her bag beside his, he didn't waste any time. In a flash, he whipped out his zanpaktou, the sun shining sharply against the finely tuned blade.
"Prepare yourself!" he barked. Rukia, breath hitching, ducked and almost as quickly as he, unsheathed her still dormant zanpaktou.
The sharp twang of their blades' finely sharpened edges echoed in the clearing, eventually getting lost in the turbulent winds that howled and whistled around their ears, ruffling their clothes and playing with their hair. With a hard shove, Kaien sent Rukia flying away from him; instead of collapsing on the sweet-scented grass, Rukia placed a hand on the ground and pushed herself back up into the air in a one-handed back flip. To place more distance between them, Rukia jumped further back until there was a good thirty feet between them.
Sleeves flapping in the breeze, Rukia bit her lip and clenched her hilt tightly with faintly quivering hands. Her eyes narrowed before closing. She took in a deep, meditative breath. Please…she pleaded quietly, reaching out to her zanpaktou. Tell me how to use you, I wish to learn your secrets, your power. I want to become stronger! I want to impress Nii-sama! I want to prove myself to the Kuchiki family! I won't be a Rukongai street rat! I WILL BE SOMEONE!
Amethyst eyes snapping open, Rukia sprinted forward; her image flickering with shunpo as she zigzagged to the firmly planted thirteenth division fukutaichou. Kaien narrowed his eyes. He placed one foot steadfast behind him; his hands shifted.
Kaien quickly apprehended Rukia's katana aiming to at his kidneys from behind. In a quick flicker, he disappeared to reappear behind Rukia. Whirling around, Rukia brought her sword up to parry his downward stroke. With a quick jar of his wrists, Kaien quickly wrapped his blade underneath Rukia's and flung it out of her small, but extremely tight grasp. He narrowed his eyes, hissing as the small area between them began to faintly glow an eerie, white-blue light.
"HADOU 33: SOUKATSUI!" Rukia cried, her palm facing Kaien's unprotected chest. Her violet gaze was hard and determined.
With a flash of shunpo, Kaien appeared into the sky, his pitch-black swaying in the breeze. Caribbean blue eyes took in the decimated row of trees approximately fifty yards behind him from the blast of energy.
Her kidou is definitely better than Kiyone and Sentaro's…
A small black dot raced forward, a hand grasping the hilt of the ground-implanted sword. Not a second later, Rukia launched off of the long-grassed ground. The sun's bright rays played along the deadly, upturned edge on her blade, causing it to flash. Swinging his sword down, Kaien heaved his upper body strength forward, sending the little Kuchiki princess plummeting back to Earth.
Gritting her teeth, Rukia opened her eyes to gasp. N-Nani? Where's Kaien-dono!? SHIMATTA!
Twisting her body, Rukia managed to catch a glimpse of a small trail of pitch-black hair and a large, heart-stopping, cocky grin.
"Too slow!"
A rough hand grasped the back of her shinigami uniform before sharply pulling backward. Her world suddenly whirling in a blur of colors, Rukia couldn't stop the movement as he slammed her into the ground. Back exploding in pain, Rukia released a small scream. Her vision blossomed behind her tightly-clenched eyelids in the formations of brightly colored stars.
Squeezing her eyes tightly, Rukia fought with everything she had not to black out. Mind racing a thousand miles per hour, Rukia fired the first kidou spell that came to mind:
"Bakudou 1: First Restraint Obstruction!"
Kaien gritted his teeth as his arms were quickly pulled behind by an invisible pair of hands. The hands painfully crossed his arms on top of each other. He suddenly felt as if large chains that weighed a ton were encircling him, anchoring him to his knees. Rukia, with her katana, scooted away and was able to get to her feet when he balled up a large amount of reiatsu in the pit of his stomach and fiercely unleashed it. The amount of reiatsu he used overrode Rukia's and canceled the spell. On his feet in a flash, Kaien rushed forward, his blade flashing against the sun. Rukia, panting, made a horizontal swing upward, causing their blades to clash.
Sweat was pouring down her face as Rukia struggled underneath Kaien's onslaught. D…Don't give up! She mentally chanted to herself as her arms began to tremble violently. She watched in dismay as Kaien-dono's face was the perfect imitation of her Nii-sama's: cold, aloof, and indifferent. He pushed harder; Rukia's eyes widened in panic. Kaien suddenly lifted his sword, causing Rukia to falter from the sudden change. Violently, Kaien swooped down and knocked her sword out of her grasp. Before she could do anything, he swung into a roundhouse kick. Her eyes widened as his heel plunged into her stomach. Gasping in pain, Rukia found herself flying from her fukutaichou, tumbling amongst the sweetness of the tall grass. Finally rolling to a stop, Rukia clutched her throbbing stomach. Moaning into the soft grass, Rukia felt her sweat rolling down her, without a doubt, reddened face. Trembling in exhaustion, Rukia clenched her fists.
"SHIMATTA!" she whispered underneath her breath harshly, tears stirring into her gaze.
Get up, little one. Get up. Face him.
Biting her lip, Rukia looked up when hearing something solid landing near her. Lying before her, almost hidden by the tall grass, was her katana. Her eyes caught Kaien-dono's fierce blue eyes. He had his katana lying against his shoulder. His other hand was on his hip. Rukia's breath got caught in her throat. His lips were marked in a frown and his stance was rigid and commanding. This wasn't Kaien-dono. This wasn't the Kaien-dono with his insane and boisterous laughter and jokes, his eccentricities and outbursts, or the Kaien-dono that was unbelievably kind and compassionate and caring…this was Shiba-fukutaichou of the Thirteenth Division. This was a commander, a teacher, a highly-ranked officer.
"Get up, Kuchiki!" he shouted at her, his hand holding the hilt of his zanpaktou tightening. "We're not through yet! UP!"
Rukia, eyes narrowing, allowed a small growl of frustration and determination to escape her. Wiping her eyes briefly to clean the sweat from her forehead and face, Rukia reached down and grabbed the hilt of her katana. Shifting her body into an offensive stance with one foot pointed at Kaien and in front of the other, Rukia pointed the tip of her blade at him.
"HAI!"
Sprinting forward, Rukia's eyes hardened. I WON'T GIVE UP!
When she got close enough within range of his katana, Rukia momentarily surprised Kaien by ducking, plunging her blade into the grassy tundra. Using the hilt as a pivot, Rukia swung her body horizontally at Kaien in a full-body roundhouse. Ducking low to the ground, Kaien evaded her attack, her feet just barely brushing against the tips of the strands on his head. Reaching out, he wrapped his big hand around one of her small ankles and pulled harshly. Twisting her body as fast and securely as she could without breaking her captured leg, Rukia swung her fist at Kaien's upper region, aiming for a central nerve point on his neck. She wrenched the katana out of the ground and swung it downward. Her arms trembled as Kaien swung his blade to meet hers. Her eyes widened when she suddenly found herself flown away from his person, tumbling once again on the sweet-scented ground.
"AGAIN!" Kaien ordered sharply, his stance rigid and unmoving. Rukia suddenly realized that Kaien-dono had not left the spot he was standing before when fighting with her. I'll make him move!
Thrusting forward, two katanas clashed, flickering every now and then in result to the brightly shining sun. Right, left, right, left, downward swipe, horizontal from the right, parry, defend, attack, deflect, charge, right, left, right, left, left, right, left, right.
With a burst of energy, Kaien swung hard enough to knock her zanpaktou out her hands. A sudden and unexplainable gust of air assaulted Rukia, sending her backwards a couple yards. Breathing heavily with sweat drenching the front and back of her black shinigami haori, Rukia felt her legs and arms trembling from exhaustion. Timidly, hesitantly, Rukia wondered inwardly why Kaien-dono was being so relentless today. She was shaken out of her thoughts as a katana landed before her feet.
"AGAIN!"
Ten minutes later, Rukia cringed as she landed soundly on her left hip.
"AGAIN!"
Nine minutes of thirty-eight seconds later, Rukia stumbled backwards until falling ungracefully on her bottom.
"AGAIN!"
Eight minutes and fifteen seconds later, Rukia lied face down in the grass, several yards away from her fukutaichou, her world seeing bright, imaginary colors.
Turning her head to the side, Rukia tried with all of her might to hold back the tears as her body cried out her anguish through other ways. Her throat tightened and her chest constricted, her fingers grasped at the blades of grass with a primal longing, trying hard with all her might to keep herself anchored into her reality and to not slip away into peaceful darkness. Her face twisted into a somewhat fearful grimace as she heard the irritatingly familiar rattle and slice of a katana landing near her.
"AGAIN!"
Six minutes and three seconds later, Rukia stared up at the pure blue sky in a daze, hopelessness etched into her features as she wondered what the point of all of this nonsense was. Her back tingled hotly in pain – there was sure to be a nasty bruise tomorrow morning.
Tremblingly, Rukia managed to sit up. Her haori and upper portion of her black hakamas were soaked with sweat. With a passing thought, she wondered how long they had been training since they arrived at Hokutan earlier in the afternoon. A sudden glare caught her tired eye. Rukia's shoulders slumped as she looked at her still brightly gleaming katana. In trepidation, Rukia looked up to find her superior in the same stance once again, straight and tall and lightly bouncing his katana against his broad shoulders like a baseball bat, a free hand resting on his hip. His eyes were blazing, a frown marring his usually grinning lips.
"AGAIN!" he hollered at her.
She really didn't want to; Rukia couldn't tell if she would be able to get up or not. But…Rukia glared at the grass in between her bent, outstretched legs. She would NOT appear weak in front of him! She would NOT give up! Not like back at the Shinigami Academy where she was mocked and harassed and gossiped behind her back. She gives up too easily, they snobbishly remarked. She doesn't have any drive, they whispered scathingly. Why is she even here, they asked venomously. She's nothing but a street rat who would rather fight with her fists and steal to survive, they talked to each other loud enough so that their hurtful words graced her ears, she needs to go back where she belongs!
Snatching the hilt roughly, Rukia forced herself to her feet, even though her knees were gently knocking against each other. Pure hot anger pumped by her outraged heart, coursed through her veins, flushing her cheeks. Clenching the hilt until her hands almost bled, Rukia rushed forward.
I'll show them! I WON'T BE A STREET RAT ANY LONGER!
Left, right, left, right, right, left, right, right, left, right, left, right.
"Hadou 33: Soukatsui!"
Kaien leaped high into the air and backwards. Rukia, secretly rejoicing at finally making him move, rushed forward, sweaty face and arms gleaming.
"HAH!"
Left, right, left, right, left, right. Chest ballooning, Rukia pushed as much of her strength into her swings. Kaien calmly looked at her outraged and animated face.
Her swings are different, he noted with a approval. They are more blood thirsty. They have strength and drive, the will to fight, behind them. She's finally following her instincts instead of thinking about her previous mistakes.
They slowly edged clear to the forest outline of the clearing.
Left, right, left. Rukia swung her katana downward as hard as she could. She gritted her teeth as Kaien-dono refused to move any more. At a stand still, both pushing forward and making their blades rattled and squeak from the oppressing forces.
I won't lose! I'll prove to them that I do belong here! I won't be a street rat of Rukongai, I am a shinigami of the Gotei 13. I'll prove my worth! I'll become so strong they won't realize who I am! I'll become a seated officer! I will learn about my zanpaktou! I will –
A bird swiftly took flight from its perch on the tree branch above them.
Startled, Rukia, for a split second, moved her eyes to the little creature. It was enough for Kaien to tilt his katana enough to the side and jar it from her grasp. Expertly, Kaien flung the katana towards him. Rukia watched in disappointment as he caught the sword with a quirk of an eyebrow. Sheepishly, Rukia rubbed the back of her head. The petite girl flinched as her whole body suddenly began to throb in aches and pain. Oh crap…Already she could feel her muscles tightening; Rukia feared what she would be feeling later on tomorrow. Kami help her.
GGGGGRRrrrrrruuunnGRrrrrruinnnngggg……
Rukia's eyes snapped open in horrified mortification, her cheeks immediately flaming into a hot cherry pink. Her hands quickly grasped her gurgling stomach. She grudgingly looked up at her fukutaichou to only whine inwardly. His face, once so serious, was now relaxed into a wise-ass expression. His lips were pulled into a smug and sly grin.
"Hungry, huh? Geez, Kuchiki! You're so needy."
Flushing brightly in embarrassment, Rukia sputtered. "I-I AM NOT!"
"Yeah, yeah, whatever, Kuchiki." Turning his back to his younger charge, Kaien gleefully heard her huff in indignation. "Alright, let's take a beak. RICE BALLS!" He cheered almost fanatically as he almost skipped away to his sack lying innocently against a nearby log.
Pouting, Rukia followed him, her dejected gaze lingering on her dormant zanpaktou…which was suddenly being thrown at her face.
"AIIIEEEEE!" Frantically, Rukia fought to capture her sword without poking her eyes out. Once safely grasping on to the hilt, Rukia whirled to her fukutaichou to find him sitting himself on the log and eagerly digging into his bag for his lunch. "KAIEN-DONO! It's unsafe to throw an unsheathed katana when the person isn't looking!"
"Neh, neh! Pipe down, will ya!? Eat already!" he sassed back at her without tearing his gaze from his bag. His overly animated eyes lit up like Christmas lights as he grasped hold of a couple of home-made rice balls. Koganehiko and Shiruganehiko were excellent cooks despite their embarrassing outbursts of praise and loyalty to him, Kukkaku, Ganju and to the rest of the Shiba Clan.
Silently, Rukia took a seat not too far away from him on the log, digging briefly into her bag for a rice ball. Staring at the food cradled in her throbbing, swollen hands, Rukia couldn't build up the urge to eat it. Her features twisted into a somewhat calm yet far more forlorn and melancholy expression.
The breeze combed through her already rumpled hair, cooling her sweaty and overheated skin. Rukia held in a shiver as the breeze hit her wet haori, chilling her. Glancing briefly at her zanpaktou, Rukia bit her lip.
What was the point…Her hands trembled slightly. Her throat acquired an unexpected dryness. Her eyes prickled hotly with unshed tears. Her nose began to tingle. What was the point of coming to the Shinigami Academy? What was the point of teaching Renji and myself to read and write and attend classes to become shinigami when it is utterly apparent that I am nothing more than a failure? Looking away from her sword, Rukia instead chose to look at the ground and the rustling green blades. I had greater spiritual control than Renji…and yet he is progressing better and farther than me. He will be graduating from the Academy with a diploma and certification of having a full seven years of education underneath his belt while I took the easy way out, the coward's way out. I only have two years of schooling behind me. Yes, I have a diploma and a certificate to verify my status as a shinigami, but what the hell does that prove? That I am able to escape hard-earned work?
I am not worthy to be a shinigami. If anyone deserved to be a shinigami and graduate early from the Academy should be Renji. I heard all of the rumors and gossip about him. He had always been praised for his kenjutsu and his hard work and optimistic personality. And even though his kidou control was never really good, he still managed to make it work for him. He has confidence in himself and in those around him. He isn't jaded…not like me.
I am too pessimistic and overbearing. I can't trust my life to my fellow comrades in my year like Renji can. I can't escape my insecurities and push myself and put all of myself on the line for something right away like Renji can. I always have to have a back up plan, preferring to accept that something bad would happen instead of trying to believe. My fighting skills are terrible and even though I am smart intellectually and have above average kidou skills, there are far more people above me with better capabilities outshining mine. I am nothing but a wash-out.
Rukia couldn't keep the tears from leaking from the corners of her eyes. Hurriedly, Rukia quickly took the cuff of her drenched haori and wiped away the tears. Thankfully, Kaien-dono was far too busy wolfing down his onigiri (she swore she heard him 'oink' in between gasps of breath) to pay any attention to her and her pathetic, runaway emotions. Huffing silently under her breath, Rukia turned her head away from her fukutaichou to stare straight into the face of the wind, allowing its gentle caress to take away the redness that was sure to plague her eyes. She wiped her slightly running nose on the upper inside of her haori, wincing slightly in disgust as she felt the added, hot wetness touch her slightly cold and clammy skin.
She looked at her robes and felt shame stab her repeatedly.
The Gotei 13, with its taichous, fukutaichous, and subordinates, were supposed to reflect unity, protection, wisdom, and care to the souls in Soul Society that needed it. Members of the Gotei 13 held extraordinarily abnormal powers and were supposed to be leaders, looked up to by the normal souls. Rukia couldn't help but feel that she was nothing but a scam wearing a shinigami garb to pretend that she was a Gotei 13 subordinate when in reality, she was anything but. She had spiritual powers enough to be considered "gifted," but in reality, in comparison to others like her precious taichou, fukutaichou, and nii-sama, she was utterly worthless. They each held awesome powers within their own right. She had never seen his shikai, but Rukia had heard multiple stories from Ukitake-taichou and from Kaien-dono to know that any opponent that had the honor (even though Kaien-dono hadn't…exactly worded it that way) to face his zanpaktou in shikai form, nevertheless bankai form, they never were allowed to continue life afterwards. And the legends that she heard about her own taichou had always made her very anxious to ask, but never with enough courage to do so, for him to release Sougyo no Kotowari.
Rukia, out of the corner of her eye, glanced at her fukutaichou, sweat dropping as she noticed him cursing under his breath at several pieces of rice sticking to his uniform. Despite how childish he acted around others, making them relax within his presence, Rukia knew that he was a fierce and very talented shinigami. He was always looked up to as some sort of demigod (only second to Ukitake-taichou) to those in Division Thirteen, and was widely acknowledged and respected upon by his fellow fukutaichou peers and unranked officers from many different divisions. He was a shinigami idol, looked upon as a goal to become in the future, a goal for others to strive towards. He was successful, had siblings, had a beautiful wife, and was a prodigy. He had everything. And yet, Rukia couldn't find the reason why he wished to be an officer of the Gotei 13, or more or less, be a fukutaichou of squad Thirteen.
Every person had their own reason for becoming a shinigami in the first place, some with reasons far more important and honor worthy than others.
She only became a shinigami to escape the starvation and the desecration of Inuzuri.
And she knew it was a selfish reason, an unworthy reason…
When she looked at other people like Matsumoto-fukutaichou, Ukitake-taichou, Kaien-dono, Nii-sama, Unohana-taichou, Kiyone-chan, Sentaro-kun, Miyako-dono, and even, Kami forbid, Ikkaku, Rukia couldn't help but feel as if she was out of place…that she didn't belong there. And it silently killed her inside to feel that way. Rukia felt worse here than when she did in Rukongai. At least back there she didn't feel so unworthy, so dirty, and so guilty.
"What was the point…?" she whispered quietly underneath her breath, "Why am I even here?"
Her heart quivered.
Unexpectedly, Kaien answered her question for her.
"Isn't it obvious?!" Kaien looked at her as if she a crazy, a rice ball clutched possessively in his grasp. "To protect, that's why!"
Rukia looked at him in confusion and frustration, her shoulders slumped. "Protect what, though?"
"Well, you know…important stuff!"
Rukia blanched. "Can't you be more specific?"
Releasing an aggravated sigh, Kaien determinedly gazed off into the distance with a pondering expression. Giving another small sigh, Kaien directed his deep blue eyes to his small subordinate. For a moment, his expression softened.
Byakuya-baka really pulled her out from the Academy far too early.
Her large eyes stared at him expectantly, childishly. A sudden weight settled in his stomach and on his shoulders. Kaien couldn't help but feel a sudden burst of anger at the rokutaichou. He had sent in his "imouto" into the Gotei 13 before she was mentally ready.
Kaien stopped for a moment to find a way to explain it to her without too much confusion.
"Say, Kuchiki," he started out lightly, "have you ever heard of our taichou's belief on life?" Of course she hadn't, but he needed to have a cool opening phrase to his awesome speech he was about to deliver with such grandeur that his poor little subordinate will be weeping tears of admiration. Rukia shook her head, curiosity shining in her amethyst orbs. "Taichou always categorizes battles of life into two sections: the battle for pride…and the battle for life."
A fond smile stretched onto his face as he turned to look at his favorite training spot, near Mountain Koifushi. The plains of grass stretched on for miles, making the Earth seem a never ending theme of shades of green. Trees of multiple species, inhabiting a wide variety of mammals, sprouted from the ground with their powerful trunks. Briefly, Kaien watched in admiration as a doe pranced smoothly across the meadow near the foot of the mountain; the genteel mammal looked to be floating, its hooves barely touching the forest floor.
A real, serious bout of contemplation overtook his features.
"To me," he whispered, "I think that both battles ultimately end up protecting the same thing."
"The same thing?"
He glanced back at Rukia with a warm smile, the smile of a mentor passing on a powerful secret to its student.
"The heart."
Rukia looked at him in misunderstanding. Her face faulted as she took his answer as another way to act cool and be a smart-ass at the same time. Even though she found it to be a little romantic (not that she would EVER tell him that), Rukia pulled off a perfectly bored and unimpressed scowl.
"The heart? Neh, that's lame."
Kaien's eyes snapped open in a fury as he roared at her in annoyance, "GOD DAMN IT, KUCHIKI! I WAS ACTUALLY TRYING TO BE SERIOUS HERE!"
Oops.
Rukia felt somewhat bad as he frustratingly looked off to the side, his face proclaiming how pissed off he was. Kaien rubbed his head in thought before continuing in his usual voice.
"Fine, then answer me this, Kuchiki. Where do you think your heart lies?"
Oh, damn.
Uncomfortably, Rukia looked at her chest and looked around herself to look for an answer. Apparently when finding none, Rukia glanced up at her fukutaichou (and mentally cursing him with all of her being) with her cheeks flushed a bright pink in embarrassment. Unsure, Rukia cautiously placed her hand in the center of her chest.
"I…I guess here, isn't it?"
"Under normal circumstances, yes. Demo," Kaien took up his arm and made his hand clench into a fist. "the heart that I'm referring to lies here. Heart is born where connections are made." He smiled at her, sending weird butterflies to flutter in her stomach. "Kuchiki, the moment we interacted with each other, the moment we saw each other, heart was born between us. Miyako and I have a heart, Ukitake-taichou and you have a heart…heart is born with friends and family, Kuchiki. Remember this, Kuchiki. We shinigami fight for the heart, for our friends and family. Heart is more than just an organ, more than just what keeps us living, it is what holds our memories and feelings, our dreams, power, and aspirations; the heart is essentially us.
"And that is why I am going to give you a life-time order, Kuchiki." His eyes hardened in resolve at her.
"Whether it would be now or in the future, whether you would be in squad thirteen or not, when you are engaged in a battle and you don't know if you'll ever survive…promise me this: DON'T. EVER. DIE. ALONE. If you die alone, you won't have anyone to give your heart to, no one to preserve your memory and move on. Give your heart to your nakama, Kuchiki. That is all I ask."
Rukia's fingers prided themselves deeply into her haori, clenching the spot where she felt the gentle pulse of her heart beat. Ba-bump…Ba-bump…Ba-bump…Ba-bump…Ba-bump.
'We fight for the heart…'
Is that everyone's desire? Rukia couldn't help but wonder as she mildly began to eat her rice ball, her eyes gazing at nothing. Kaien, after stretching his stiff muscles, proclaimed that it was time to head back to Seireitei. Rukia quickly placed her one-fourth eaten meal back into her sack. Slinging it over her shoulder, Rukia forced her screaming legs to follow her fukutaichou.
Does everyone fight for the same reason, to protect the heart? Or is that just Kaien-dono's validation? Does Nii-sama fight for the heart? Will Renji fight for his heart?
Rukia watched in a daze as they made their way through the remaining districts of Rukongai and through the Seireitei wall.
But…even if they don't fight for the heart, we all fight to protect something.
A sense of wisdom blossomed within her, causing a smile to finally grace her lips in understanding.
Whether it would be pride, independence, power, family, friends, or a way to escape pain…in the end we all fight to protect ourselves and each other.
But where does my heart lie? Who is my nakama?
After respectively bowing and gracing her fukutaichou with a goodbye, Rukia began to make her way back to the Kuchiki Estate, internally hoping she didn't come across any of the Kuchiki Elders. She really didn't wish to see them looking at her with distain, further more wrinkling their nose at her rather less than dignified appearance.
She glanced at the luxurious manor with finely polished and well-maintained roof tiles, exotic sculptures, and formal structure. Deep within its contents she thought of the stuck up nobles, the overly thin yet beautiful ladies of the manor who discreetly and effectively spread webs of lies and the men who sneer at her and would further his own ambition. She thought of the cold demeanor of the Elders with their squinty and scrutinizing stares, their ever permanent frowns, and countless wrinkles, their aura wreaking their disapproval of her in waves unchecked. She thought of her Nii-sama, aloof, indifferent, and stoic, never really greeting her or engaging her conversation…
She thought of Squad Thirteen with the ever insane and energetic co-fourth seats, Kiyone and Sentaro, of the sweet yet still slightly insane and beautiful Miyako, with her loud, obnoxious and overzealous and over-caring Kaien-dono, and of her sweet, caring, and warm taichou. She thought of her multiple training sessions in kendo, of shunpo with Miyako, and of her kidou matches with Kiyone and Sentaro and some other higher-ranking officers within her squad. She thought of the large and blinding smile, so sugary sweet, far sweeter than the treats almost daily handed out. She thought of the moments that pushed her o be the Rukia she really was, the independent and uncaring Rukia of Inuzuri who did what she want rather than the Kuchiki Rukia, her new persona that forced her into a submissive role, of being perfect and of poise.
She thought of the crimson-haired, red-eyed boy she grew up with, her initial nakama, her best friend.
She thought of the tall figure hovering on the edge of her consciousness with his mysterious, smug and challenging smile, long light blue hair, electric blue eyes, pale white skin, and the solitary long sleeve flapping in the wind.
Rukia, safe in her room after a nice, hot bath and in a freshly laundered sleeping yukata, tucked away snuggly in her futon, gave a secret smile.
She knew where her heart lies…and that's all that matters.
As she drifted off to sleep, Rukia could have sworn that she felt a large, cold hand soothingly stroke her tresses away from her face, a solitary finger trailing against her cheek on affection. An invisible pair of lips gently moved against the shell of her ear, lulling her further into sleep.
"You're ready…"
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Yeah! Finally updated! Sheesh, I really hate school. Sorry for the late update. I can't make very many promises when it comes to updatig because, heh heh, school work is important to me and I have so much, sigh. I will do what I can, though!
Thank you so much for the reviews!!! XD
INFO: Manga chapter 268, page 8-11
Miss Artemis
PLEASE REVIEW! More reviews equals a possible faster update! (AT LEAST IT MOTIVATES ME TO!)
NEXT TIME: Will Rukia finally be able to learn her zanpaktou's name? Or will Sode no Shirayuki continue to be a pain in the neck?