After a long day it felt good to just lie down on the couch in Hitsugaya's office. This luxurious privilege was only available to the lieutenant. Only I was allowed to hang out in his office. Normally I would have never done it and just go to my own room, but over the past few days I took Byakuya's advice, I tried to get along. Toshiro was very curious about my sudden change in attitude but he didn't ask about it. Typical. Yesterday he even let me go with him to Mayuri-taicho's office. Honestly that guy really freaked me out but his lieutenant was very nice. She was too quiet though. She only spoke when she was spoken to. It made me feel sorry that she was so weak like that. But Hitsugaya did take me with him and Mayuri started asking me weird questions. He wanted to know my blood type, how I react to different things, he even asked my favorite animal that would be likely to perform an experiment on….weirdo! I went several places with him today. It was tiring.

I settled down onto the comfy beige couch, turned over on my side and slowed my breathing so I could drift off into a nice nap. The sound of Captain's scribbling and occasional grumbling was a tune that I was beginning to fall asleep too. When I closed my eyes, I still saw him there, hunched over his desk, doing his paperwork. I was getting to know him. I knew he hated Aizen and being called short and Shiro-chan. He loved sweets and the feeling of being in charge. I could crack the code of his emerald eyes. When they brightened he was happy or in a good mood. When his pupils got bigger he was surprised or worried. The dimness of his eyes meant he was in deep thought. Every glance, every glare, I could see it all in his eyes. The only thing I never saw was sadness. That feeling was imprinted in his eyes like a tattoo, permanent. To get those eyes to lighten I would do anything. To see him smile was more then enough reason for me to try to make him happy. I tried to learn as much as I could about him without really knowing him. Too many people, their success in this area would fail miserably. Many people considered Hitsugaya a wall that you couldn't go through or see through. They just weren't trying hard enough. It took a lot of work, but I could climb that wall and catch a glimpse at him every once in awhile. I learned a lot by watching him when he wasn't looking. It was for the best, it was for my success.

I felt a paper wad hit my head and watched groggily as it bounced onto the floor.

"Get up Karidi," I groaned. I was just drifting off to freakin' sleep!

"I don't want to," He threw another wad at me.

"I said get up," A few mumbles and wads later, I got up and slowly walked out the door to do the job he assigned me.

"Oh and can you grab something to eat on your way back?" Hitsugaya grinned as he heard my irritated shriek from down the hall. The smile faded as a memory of Matsumoto flooded into his mind. Rangiku…His free hand that wasn't holding a pen clenched up. His eyes flared and his brow creased. He could hear her so familiar voice calling his name, Hitsugaya-taicho. My Matsumoto, my lieutenant. Letting his fist unclench, he sat back in his chair and stared at the zanpacto that lied on his couch. Matsumoto was gone. He knew that. But having someone in her place only deepened and freshened that wound that he was desperately trying to sew back together. Pull it together, Toshiro. She's gone and you can't do anything about it. His stomach flipped. I should have been there; I could have made a difference. He ran a hand through his hair and sighed. I can't escape the past, but I don't think I'm ready to face the future. He glanced again at the zanpacto and thought of the girl who wielded it. That future.

The chilled air of the seretei reached beyond my hakama so that goose bumps were beginning to pop their heads from the inside my skin. Tired, need sleep. I carried Captain's dinner lazily so that it almost dragged on the ground as I walked. What is wrong with me, I haven't done anything to make me this tired. Shaking my head abruptly, I tried to wake myself up but it wasn't working. He better be in his office or I'm going to be pissed. Just as I thought that I heard voices behind a corner a few intersections away. In the midst of the three voices talking, I heard my name. Quickly hiding my reiatsu, I took off down on path climbed the roof and silently began walking the same path as the three voices I hear. One was unmistakably Toshiro's. I knew that the moment I finished my last thought. The others were, focusing the familiarity of the spiritual pressures and voice I concluded, Ukitake and Ichimaru. My blood turned cold as I recognized him. Every time I heard his voice I felt as if snakes had slipped up my hakama and were gliding their way across my skin. Just thinking about it made chills tingle down my spine. I listened to their conversation that I was guessing was about me.

"Hitsugaya-taicho, how is that pretty, young lieutenant of yours? Everything working out ok?" Ukitake finished his sentence and turned his head away from the men to cough into his hand. Hitsugaya didn't hesitate

"Everything is going fine. She's adjusting well. Straight from the academy to lieutenant is a big jump but I think she can handle it," Then Ichimaru spoke.

" It must be awful difficult for ya to just tink that she replaced our dear Matsumoto," Even though I wasn't even near close enough to see his face, I saw his eyes harden and his struggle to keep his composure. Ukitake shot Gin a warning glance but he merely smiled that devilish grin of his. " She sure is a pretty young thang. But it would be kinda a problem if ya were to be interested in her, wouldn't it? You two have been spending lots of time together, haven't ya?" Gin glanced down at Hitsugaya who was staring straight ahead. He knew that Hitsugaya and I were not getting along. He just wanted to get under Toshiro's skin for the same reason he got under mine, I was Masumoto's replacement.

"Well we are trying to develop a good acquaintance for the future to make sure our squad is in the best shape it can be," Ichimaru opened his mouth to speak but Hitsugaya beat him to it, "Unlike your lieutenant, mine does not have a false admiration for a Captain who once betrayed and left him alone in the worst time when he depended on his Captain. So I suggest you don't lecture me about my lieutenant," Gin's smile disappeared for a brief second, then it quickly flashed again and Ukitake shook his head. He wouldn't quit.

"Ya are already developin a relationship wit your lieutenant. Very unwise knowin dat squad 10 has sucha bad thing wit luck," Hitsugaya already disliked Gin to begin with, things were just getting worse. Toshiro snapped. Stopping dead in mid-step, he faced Ichimaru with a fire in his eyes that I never saw before. It made me flinch as I crouched on the rooftop.

"Please don't do anything stupid," I whispered to Hitsugaya even thought he couldn't hear me. But Uikitake looked up to my hiding place and I sunk farther into the shadows of the roof, keeping myself from view. Something in Ukitake's eyes blinked and he quickly tried to calm Toshiro down, he knew what was coming, but he was too late. Hitsugaya grabbed Gin's taicho hakama and lowered his face so that they were nose to nose.

"She is nothing more to me then my lieutenant! That might even be a overstatement because she's loud, sarcastic ,disobedient, lazy, uncooperative and most of all annoying! So don't assume that there is something going on between me and her because there isn't! I picked her because she would make a good asset to my squad. I needed someone who would hold my squad together. She means nothing but a subordinate who I barely know and care for to me! So don't think that I am trying to replace Rangiku because Karidi will never be as half as good as her and she sure as hell will never be as close to me as Rangiku was, never," Toshiro panted at the lost of oxygen in his lungs from yelling out at Ichimaru, who was relaxed in Hitsugaya's grip with a smile still on his face. Those eyes were burning through Hitsugaya's sockets. The fire in them kept burning, it wasn't dying down. Ukitake sighed as Ichimaru let out a small chuckle.

"Well ya wont haveta worry about havin a friendship wit Karidi. I tink she's through tryin dat," Gin tossed his head to the side so that he was also looking up into my hiding place, except I wasn't hiding. I was standing there in open view, with one hand running through my bangs while the other clenched in a fist beside me, staring down at them. I had the same glare that Hitsugaya had in his eyes. His emerald eyes widened and he let go of Ichimaru. Ukitake looked up at me pleadingly. Ichimaru chuckled a little more.

"Karidi," Toshiro gently said. I kept glaring at him. I worked to be his friend! I worked to have a good friendship! I worked to be important to him! It all just went down the drain. Even though I looked pissed off and angry on the outside, on the inside my heart was quivering and beneath my hakama, my knees were buckling. That stung. That stung deeply. My gaze left Toshiro to Ukitake who was holding a hand up in the air, beckoning me to come down. Then I looked down at the snake. His grin was flashing at me and his closed eyes were laughing. That snake! But then I recalled, those words came out of my Captain's mouth. My eyes landed back on Hitsugaya who was staring up at me with worry and sadness in his eyes. It was all a show. That look was fake. Turning my body around and sparing a second longer to let my glare drill into his eyes, I let a small whisper pass my lips to hear my voice to see if it was steady. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of seeing me break.

"I knew it," I took off into the night, leaving the three Captain's staring at my back until I was completely gone.

Toshiro's blood turned cold as Ichimaru passed him. It was tempting to just release his zanpacto and finish what he should have a long time ago. His hand itched towards it. Once he could feel the material surrounding the handle his heart pounded out of his chest. He would do it. He was ready. Ichimaru and Aizen deserve it more then anything. They hurt Hinamori, they hurt the soul society. Gin made him look like a fool and in return he just lost any admiration or respect that Karidi might have had for him. Things weren't turning out the way he planned. Everything was progressing. Karidi was starting to develop a good Captain and Vice Captain relationship. But Ichimaru had to ruin it. Ukitake quickly snapped Hitsugaya's hand away from his zanpacto but Toshiro barely noticed. He was staring into the direction of Karidi's run away route. The dark night sky reflected the expression that felt like it was slapped onto his face. Ichimaru may have influenced me to say those things, but they came out of my own mouth....What have I done? Without warning he began to flash step in the same direction as his lieutenant left, leaving Ukitake in a cloud of dust coughing, staring back at him and a small smile perched upon his sickly face.

Me: *sigh*

Shiro-chan: What's wrong?

Me: I'm thinking about ur gorgeous eyes

Shiro-chan: Fangirl moment

Me: Make fun of my fangirl moments again and ill write you in a fluffy pink dress and make you dance with Mayuri-san!

Shiro-chan: No! no that's ok im sorry

Me: Now say you love that im your fangirl

Shiro-chan: no

Me: Say it. *begans typing; Hitusgaya walked into the ballroom with Mayuri on his arm awith his elegant pink dress flowing gracefully behind him. Everyone's eyes were on the happy couple.* Don't make me put yaoi in there

Shiro-chan: OK! I LOVE THAT YOU'RE MY FANGIRL!

Me: *closes one eye,smiles,holds up victory sign* hehe I win.

Shiro-chan:*mumbles* anyone but Mayuri-san