Title: Gods In Love
Chapter 2: In which knowledge is gained
Disclaimer: I do not own J.K Rowling's magical world of witches and wizards, or any of the characters in it. If you know the series, you will be able to pick out which characters are mine.
Description: In their seventh year, a wizarding sex shop opens for business in Hogsmeade, causing tension among the students and leading to unusual events and pairings (Ron x Hermione x Draco, Snape x ??).
Chapter 2, comin' atcha :)
O0O0O0O
Upon his return to the castle after the trip to Hogsmeade Draco burst into his dorm room and slammed the door behind him, dumping his bags from Madame L's on the ground near his bed. The little Draco in his head was rubbing his hands together in a parody of childish glee.
'What a haul...' he thought, grinning. He removed a small black box the size of a pencil case from the drawer in his bedside table placed it in the centre of his bed.
"Vipera vilis." he whispered to the box, which suddenly grew to about ten times its original size. The bed groaned under the box's weight.
At its current size, the box's intricate carvings were visible; seven snakes forming a ring around a highly stylized eye, all on a background of hundreds of oak leaves. Draco placed the tip of his wand into a small opening in the centre of the eye, causing a series of clicks to sound within the box. He withdrew his wand and opened the box, in which he kept his most valuable and secret possessions. Draco moved aside his Hand of Glory and a small pile of proscribed dark magic books to make room for his purchases: several sealed envelopes containing instructions for sexual spells, self-tying rope with a password option, a set of handcuffs (old-fashioned lock-and-key; difficult to find in the wizarding world these days), a stack of explicit books and magazines, and a Sexual Match Finder (a green one, of course). He placed everything in the box except for the Sexual Match Finder (or SMF as almost everyone was referring to them already) and then locked and shrank the strongbox and placed it back in his drawer.
Draco excitedly removed the SMF from its packaging and read the instructions for use: 'Simply tap the SMF with your wand to turn it off or on. If it is your first time using it, you will be scanned immediately.'
He tapped the apparatus, and a message appeared on the screen: Scanning... Codename: Loki. Would you like to select this codename, or insert your own? Draco glanced back at the instructions. 'Any question asked by the SMF can be answered by speaking to it.'
"This one's fine." he answered, thinking: 'Perfect, really... Loki, the Norse trickster god; a blonde-haired, blue-eyed troublemaker. Some people even think Loki was a real dark wizard who passed himself off as a god...'
New text appeared: Hello Loki! Here are your statistics:
- Ability: Good to Excellent
He frowned. He already thought pretty highly of himself, and disliked the use of the word 'good' to describe his ability.
- Potential: Outstanding
'Well that's more like it.'
- You can improve by: thinking more about your partner's desires
Draco rolled his eyes. 'Whatever.'
- Your prefer your partners to be: female; petite, submissive
Which was true. The SMF had not included that Draco also preferred his partners to be pure-blooded...
- Your tendencies are to be: dominant, aggressive; bordering on sadistic
He never would have called himself sadistic, but, now that he thought about it... he smiled. It suited him.
- Specific target at the moment is: no specific
- Total partners: 5 [Further breakdown provided upon request
Overall, he was impressed. It seemed quite accurate. The SMF informed him it would be inserting his statistics onto the network, and would notify him when it had found suitable matches.
Just as Draco was about to put the SMF away, he noticed something odd about it. Unbeknownst to most, including his teachers, Draco was a natural at charmwork and could actually see how charms had been lain and often remove them instinctually with unvoiced spells. Because he didn't apply himself in class, he achieved reasonable instead of excellent grades, working only hard enough to please his parents. In his sixth year he had even repaired a set of charmed wardrobes that could be travelled between, and this was after Borgin of the famed dark magic shop 'Borgin and Burkes' had given up on them. Draco had called in a few favours to have one of the wardrobes placed in a hotel room in Hogsmeade, and he often used them to sneak out with friends or love interests. Some nights he had dreams about the wardrobes being used for much more sinister purposes...
He turned the SMF over in his hands. There had been a layer of protective charm work placed upon it. But what was it for? Suddenly, Draco knew. He grabbed his wand and dismissed the excess charmwork. He walked into the common room and pointed the SMF at the first person he saw, another seventh-year Slytherin girl holding a purple SMF, and whispered: "Scan."
It did.
Draco read the screen excitedly: Hello Loki! I see you are "resourceful" enough to have discovered one of our little devices "other handy applications"... Enjoy!
Raven Hunter is already in the database. His/Her statistics are:
- Ability: Good
- Potential: Excellent
- He/She can improve by: watching how she uses her teeth
- He/She prefers his/her partners to be: male; tall, dark, thin, intelligent.
- His/Her tendencies are to be: dominant, highly energetic, exotic
- Specific target at the moment is: Bookworm King
- Total partners: 3 [Further breakdown provided upon request
- Characteristics of his/her ideal partner would be: submissive, high energy, open minded, low to medium skill level
- Current compatibility with Loki: 18 Percent
Draco stared in disbelief. This seemed too good to be true. The little Draco in his head was pumping a fist in victory. He pointed his SMF at his next victim; a short, black-haired girl he thought was in sixth year.
Snow White will be inserted into the database. You may change this codename if you wish. His/Her statistics are:
- Ability: Fair (Virgin; 3rd base)
- Potential: Good
- He/She can improve by: practising
- He/She prefers his/her partners to be: male; tall, fair, toned but not too muscular
- His/Her tendencies are to be: hesitant, shy, submissive
- Specific target at the moment is: Loki
- Total partners: 1 [Further breakdown provided upon request
- Characteristics of his/her ideal partner would be: dominant, patient, high skill level
- Current compatibility with Loki: 72 Percent
The girl left her group of friends and headed towards the dorm rooms. Draco moved to block the way. She blushed when their eyes met.
"Hi, my name's Draco."
"I- I know." she stuttered.
Draco leaned closer to her, placing a hand on her shoulder and smiling slowly.
"What's your name?"
"Mary..." she said, blushing even more violently.
"Mary," he purred in his characteristic drawl, "would you like to take a walk with me? The other day, I found this interesting little room that becomes whatever you want it to... even a bedroom..."
O0O0O0O
Before using the device Hermione wanted to see how it worked. Fred and George were geniuses, no doubt, but they were also sneaky, and Hermione wanted to make sure the SMF wouldn't log her true identity. She pulled an advanced charms book from her shelf and sat back down on her bed, looking for the correct spell.
"Aha! Revelare!" she said, performing a complicated wrist motion. Several distinct layers of charmwork became visible, all of them quite complicated. She pinpointed the section that records the user's true identity and with another complex manoeuver and "Eradere." it was gone. She also happened to notice that topmost layer of charmwork was meant to keep the device from scanning other people than its owner.
'Fred and George... It's almost like you wanted people to notice... That must be what they meant in their pamphlet with that talk about "resourcefulness" and "other applications"... Well, if they meant for it to be used this way, there's no harm in-'
The angelic little Hermione in her head was shaking her finger at the demonic little Hermione. 'No, no, no!! That's awfully pervy of you!' Demonic Hermione rolled her eyes at angelic Hermione. 'You are such a prude. Let's just do it. Do something exciting for once in your life!'
Heart thumping in her chest, she did, and was mildly surprised that half a dozen people didn't burst into her room to accuse her of being a pervert. She tapped the device to turn it on (she had, of course, already read the entire instruction booklet twice).
Scanning... Codename: Athene. Would you like to select this codename, or insert your own?
Hermione smiled. 'Perfect. Greek goddess of wisdom.' She answered the machine: "Yes, that one will do nicely."Text scrolled onto the screen of her red SMF:
Hello Athene! Here are your statistics:
- Ability: Fair-Good (Virgin; 2nd base)
- Potential is: Outstanding
- You can improve by: practising.
- You prefer your partners to be: male; dominant, forward
- Your tendencies are to be: submissive; bordering on masochistic, but particular
- Specific target at the moment is: none
- Total partners: 1
- Characteristics of your ideal partner would be: dominant, aggressive; bordering on sadistic, medium-high skill level
Your statistics will now be inserted onto the SMF network. You will notified when acceptable matches for you are found.
She just didn't know what to think. So much of it was accurate, for example, her preferences. But as far as her tendencies... 'Masochistic?? I am not masochistic... one of those crazy people who dress in leather and like being tied up and get off on being humiliated and...' She suddenly thought back to her time with Victor Krum; he had definitely been the dominant one in their relationship and quite... assertive, that was true. Actually, she remembered the one time during the winter they had gone walking around the castle, and he had shoved her up against the wall and started kissing her. She was certain someone would come around the corner any second and see them like that (and what a position for her to be found in!) but it had truly excited her. And when he had slipped off his mitten and slid his hand up her shirt it had excited her even more... She remembered how cold it had been outside, and how, crushed between Victor and the wall, the bricks had bitten into her shoulder blades. Just thinking about it aroused her somewhat. It was one of her favourite guilty memories.
Surely enough, it was all there; an element of control, an element of humiliation and an element of pain.
She mulled it over for a bit in her mind.
'Wow. I really am a bit of a masochist.'
While she waited for more people to scan themselves and get onto the network so the SMF could find her matches... the question remained:
Who would she scan first?
O0O0O0O
Later that day, after his fun with 'Snow White', Draco was prowling the hallways, scanning people for fun. A particularly curvaceous Ravenclaw girl rounded the corner, and Draco was in the process of scanning her when Snape, stalking down in a huff, walked into the line of fire.
Draco covered his mouth in shock. 'Oh God... Snape... do I even want to see this??'
But his curiosity overcame him in the end... it read:
Half-blood Prince will be inserted into the database. You may change this codename if you wish.
'Half-blood Prince?' thought Draco, 'What an odd codename. I wonder what it refers to...' A devilish thought crossed Draco's mind. 'Why don't I just change it to-'
"Severus Snape." he said to the SMF
Codename cannot be real name.
"Ugh, fine." muttered Draco, "What about 'Potions Master'?"
Codename cannot reveal major clues to identity.
Draco sighed. 'Something semi obvious... I know! The first potions master, Greek god of medicine...'
"Aesculapius"
New codename accepted. Aesculapius will be inserted into the network. His/Her statistics are:
- Ability: Poor (Virgin; 2nd base)
'Snape is a virgin.' Draco snorted, holding back laughter. 'I'd believe it...'
- Potential: Excellent
- He/She can improve by: improving personal hygiene, practising
- He/She prefers his/her partners to be: female; Lily Potter
- His/Her tendencies are to be: obsessed with Lily Potter
- Specific target at the moment is: Lily Potter
- Total partners: 2 [Further breakdown provided upon request
- Characteristics of his/her ideal partner would be: high skill level, someone who will help him forget Lily Potter
Current compatibility with Loki: 3 Percent
'Lily Potter?' though Draco, 'As in Harry Potter's mother? ... it can't be. AUGH!! 3?? How am I even 3 percent compatible with Snape?!' After Draco was done being grossed out about the thought of Snape and sex, and puzzling over the mystery of Lily Potter, he realized he might have inadvertently done some good.
'Maybe I'll finally get ol' Greasy Hair laid...'
O0O0O0O
Hermione nipped out into the Gryffindor common room.
'Now who should I scan?'
Angelic Hermione frowned in the corner of Hermione's mind.
Ron walked into the common room.
'Perfect.' thought Hermione, 'seeing as everyone thinks we should get together for some reason. I can see if there's any sense to the whole mess.'
She scanned Ron: Apollo is already in the database.
'Sun god; flame-haired. Appropriate enough, I suppose.'
His/Her statistics are:
Ability: Good
Potential: Excellent
He/She can improve by: being more confident
He/She prefers his/her partners to be: female; curvy, willing to lead, encouraging
His/Her tendencies are to be: submissive, tentative, easily intimidated, at times intense
Specific target at the moment is: Athene
Total partners: 3
Characteristics of his/her ideal partner would be: dominant, encouraging, high skill level OR submissive, appreciative, low skill level
Current compatibility with Athene: 78 Percent
Before she could formulate a proper thought about what she had just read, Ron spotted her and began walked over.
"Hermione!" he called across the common room.
As Ron stopped to chat with someone else nearer to the door she fumbled with the SMF, managing to shut it off before jamming it into her pocket. Ron arrived where she was standing.
"How's your afternoon been?"
"Oh, good!" she replied a little nervously, hoping he hadn't seen.
"Super. Did you stop by Madame L's and buy all kinds of kinky stuff?" he joked.
Hermione rolled her eyes and feigned superiority.
"Oh course not!"
"Yeah, me neither!" said Ron, a little too loudly. "But, um, it would be ok with you, if I had gone- and Harry too. I mean we didn't, but..."
"I went too." whispered Hermione.
Ron sighed with relief, and then grinned.
"I got some cool stuff. What did you buy?"
"None of your business!" said Hermione, more sharply than she had intended. "I mean... you know."
"Yeah."
There was a bit of a silence.
"So..." began Hermione again, "did you have anyone in mind?"
"Anyone in mind for what?" asked Ron, followed immediately by "Oh. That. Well..." Ron's cheeks began turning red. "Well, there is one girl. I think about her all the time... uh..."
Hermione could feel hot and cold creeping up her neck to her face. A strange tightness seized her chest. Was he going to tell her? What would she say if he did? What if the SMF was wrong, and he was about to tell her about some other girl? Was she getting this feeling because she liked Ron? "Yeah..." he went on, "I dunno. I'll tell you about it some time... but we have to head down for dinner Hermione... if we don't leave now, Harry will wonder where we are."
"Oh, of course!" she responded lamely.
As they walked down to the Great Hall, making small talk and joking like usual, she couldn't help wonder: what would it be like to date Ron?
O0O0O0O
AN: Well, that's all for this chapter. I know I said there'd be Snape stuff, but I think I'm going to save the good stuff for the very beginning of next chapter :) I didn't want to jam it at the end of this one, which is getting kinda long. It should be out soon.
So what do you guys think? Seriously, in my opinion, Hermione HAS to be a masochist. Just think of all the school work she does. In her second year she actually took more classes than is physically possible without magic. Self-induced mental anguish. I rest my case.
Please review!
Love and mashed potatoes,
Planeswalker