It was the cascades of the few moments which have passed between the two that have felt as lifetimes, each. Ashkir Devereux felt his move was correct in every way toward Nyna he had attempted. Though, it turned out differently then he expected. Every move he just attempted had made his life different. It showed him as a different, harsher man. He didn't like that. The feeling however felt wonderful, like revenge. The direction and quick thinking have made the past five minutes the most enjoyable in his life, regardless of the circumstances. Mr. Devereux just proved his creativity, cleverness and his entire thinking process of thought and yet his personality of which it was now.
In the past five minutes, much has changed. The past five minutes, only two words were ever spoken and the two words represented a past lifetime. And a rocky lifetime which only lasted over a week was included but, yet a cheers to a new lifetime. Three lifetimes merged together, was something different. The two words were probably going to be the most important in Mr. Devereux's and Nyna's lives. The man had much riding on his shoulders with this tense moment. May not he fail in his emotions, heart or his mind. What ever will happen in the next few moments as fate and time rolled them out very well could change the man forever and his entire world as he knew it. Oh well, he would have to deal with it and the outcome however it happened, even if it was against his will. Hopefully not.
Where did the courage even come from? Why did he even turn back for Nyna? If only Mr. Devereux knew. That small amount of courage, just the of courage stroke made his impulse powerful enough to take over his mind and body and listen to his heart. His impulse did what his heart wanted him to do. It just did him a world of good. More then anyone, even Ashkir could ever understand. So, there he was, the little did Ashkir even understand, he would have to deal with it. Yes he has secretly told himself that several times. The young Ashkir Devereux just had a lifetime of events and surprises to last him forevermore in this lifetime and the next. What did his heart want to do? Ashkir Devereux had just become confused about that.
At least the young man was ready to open his heart once again. If only. If only, Nyna took him back. If only, Nyna knew the thoughts rushing through his head. If only. The man was confused, and he just changed his thought process in the past few moments to represent of what it was before and what it is now. He only wanted his best friend or former best friend, whatever they were, and Nyna to understand what was going through his mind. He loved Nyna. And only if Nyna decided to forgive him. Ashkir Devereux had too much riding on this moment of his life. Way too much for his liking, well, for anyone's liking. Only if. There were too many things rushing in his mind now, them ever changing.
Several scenarios rushed through the man's mind. Heartfelt, hateful, name it, he just thought of it. Moments of courage, and the cascades of all of his emotions were clashing into one another, he was slowly falling apart awaiting the reaction, the movement of Nyna's lips. He needed an answer. He hungered for that answer. He wanted the reaction Nyna would make more then anything in the world, either good or not. His hunger was far greater then the time he stole Nyna's chocolate constantly. Mmm…chocolate. Okay now back on topic. Really. What was there to be nervous about? A lot, his entire life as he knew it depended on the next few moments, Nyna's reaction. Hopefully Nyna would say 'yes' to his question. His thoughts begging for an answer, his face with its smirk was begging for the answer. Just the simple word 'yes' would do fine; he knew it was easier to say then to do. He craved such an answer.
Ashkir was there, ready to burst into tears. His heart felt weak. He felt weak. What was there to do? Nothing. Ashkir couldn't do anything. He wanted to tear apart his soul. He wanted to tear apart everything that ever met and was to him. His heart continued to be heavy, he never had an idea of when it would not be. His eyes grew heavy. Within a few seconds he snapped them closed to hold back the tears that were about to flood down his cheeks. This man loved this woman with all of his life. He knew her too well to loose her. Ashkir Devereux would follow her to the end of the earth of a thousand suns. There was not much he needed to state else. His heart busted into song.
His thoughts slowed to become repetitive. He was still there with Nyna pinned under him, in the mud of the soft January's previous night's rain. The sound of the environment around the two was completely deserted, quiet. It was only him and Nyna. The soft blows of the wind or the movements of Nyna and Ashkir were the only sounds made in the past few moments, and perhaps the moments to come. Ashkir kept his position with Nyna pinned under him. He hopefully was not torturing her or anything; he cared for her more then anything. He would walk out of her life if she just told him to do so, as much as his heart would be against it. He still was there craving such an answer.
He didn't care anymore. Okay, that was a lie. He cared. He cared. He cared. Yes, he couldn't say that enough times. He loved Nyna…he loves Nyna! What else could he do? Shed tears for her or what not? He had already done that at Maddam Puddifoot's Tea Parlor. He broke down crying softly on the table in the mess of the soda he spelt after Nyna stormed off. Only if she knew…but maybe, perhaps it was better for her not to. He was a man. He was too big to cry, there was nothing else to convince him otherwise. It isn't likely he would admit that he broke down crying just because of a fight that had no physical damage. It only had emotional, mental, and social damage.
All he really wanted to do was just to escape the pain he had gone through. Walking away as he originally planned probably was not the brightest thing to do. There was not much left the man, Mr. Devereux could do now. He depended on stress, yes, but this situation, this social situation was different. This was a matter of life or death of his entire social life as he knew it, basically. Nyna is one of the few friends he has, and the only friend he had for over an extended period of time. The pain of losing her was too much for Ashkir Devereux to bear over the past week. His reactions were clear. He stayed awake too many long nights just thinking of her, as much as he wanted to push the thoughts out of his mind, it only made it worse.
The first time I laid eyes on you, I was about to cry as I look back. To see the time when we were kids. To share the memories we once passed. Of how I wish we could go back. Now we grown, now we gone. How I cry as I see the change. If only you knew, if only you knew. How I sit here, how I wish. How I want you to be with me. My friend, my dear friend. How I saw the beauty of what it was for, my friend, my friend. Of where have you gone? Where have we gone? We have out run the source of all. Here we are, lying together in some place I know hardly none of. Of how I love you. My friend, my friend. My sister…
He tried to hurt her. He felt he was successful. Look at the evidence, Nyna broke out crying, Ashkir continued to be a jerk. There he was. First of all, he dropped a bracelet that held so much sentimental value, snapped in half in front of Nyna. That was one of the last straws, for her he knew it was. He pushed her with force after he dropped it. His words and tone were harsh as he was ignoring her. He was trying to do so. He was at fault though; he lied to his best friend, and kept this a secret from her. He probably should've told her when he was first confused about his sexuality four years ago. Even when he was snogging that other guy two years ago. He had plenty of chances to tell her, he just never did. He never had the courage to, until Nyna pried it out of him.
Luckily she did not figure it out by walking into him and Piece James snogging at the Red Star Lounge, that defiantly would give it away, especially with how much passion both, Ashkir and Pierce put into it. They both gave a lot. Ashkir didn't give the best, be he gave a lot, more then normal, defiantly more then he gave that guy when he was sixteen. Though however, the kiss in the Red Star Lounge really met nothing unlike the lie he had told when he was sixteen. He wasn't dating Pierce; he just started kissing some random guy in a bar. But that guy when he was sixteen, Ashkir and him were dating, keeping their relationship single. Nyna and Cailey were the only people to ever see them together. Well, Cailey knew what was going on, Nyna did not.
He had held too much back from Nyna, he regretted it, but there was not much he could do it was the past, this is now the present. He was there vaguely. His memories were strong. Shaking his head, he had to snap out of the trance he was in, he snapped out of his trance. Ashkir Devereux had to move on. But, Nyna was still pinned under him. He cannot believe he just attacked his former best friend and asked the simplest hardest question ever in the world. He was there with a reply…but why was he continuing to hold Nyna there with force? He had no right to hold a woman down like that. Oh well, that was then, now this is now…but wait, he is holding a woman down now.
Ashkir Devereux was not in the right state of mind. He went insane. He would've never have done what he just did to Nyna before. He hoped and prayed he wasn't too violet. Hope was something he needed. Hopefully he would get it. The man was there, afraid. It was clear why he was afraid. But yet, only a few moments have passed so far since the attack, they each felt like a lifetime as he waited for the reply from Nyna. Waiting was a terrible game, very terrible. Why? It was hard, the tension built, and yet the hope continued to build and fade at the same time. Nothing really made sense anymore, nothing never did. But still, the waiting game was not fun at all. It was one of the worst games that existed. But sometimes, the waiting game was the best game. The results can be pleasing at times and others not.
His eyes closed once again out of being heavy, holding back the tears that were so powerful about to override him. His heart was heavy. The man was about to collapse, he had no idea what to do without Nyna. He loved her too much. He loved her. Nyna meant more then anything in the world to the young Mr. Devereux. He would do anything to win her back. He couldn't just walk away as he tried to. Him running over, running back to attack Nyna to beg for her forgiveness was a clear example of that. He couldn't keep himself away. He loved her too much. What was there left to do? All he could do was holding back his tears. There was nothing much else to do anyway. He opened his eyes again.
Yet he still was there on top of Nyna, not far from her face with the smirk continuous on his face. He was waiting for the answer. The answer he dreaded and worked himself up over. He had a light sweat from his brow, at least no drops dropping on Nyna. His heart rate continued to increase; his heart was racing a rabbit and winning. The rabbit was now the turtle. Sadden, and sadly, the young Mr. Devereux is going to die of a heart attack if he continues to live like this. Somebody needs to knock some healthy habits into the man. He was talented, yes, but the brightest? No, he used stress to his advantage, but he let too much build up. However, he needs to relax more often. If he had done so earlier in his life, this thing between him and Nyna probably would've never happened, she would've known and the issue would've been over with years ago.
When I saw you for the first time. I knew you were the one. You didn't say a word to me. But love was in the air. Then, you held my hand. And pulled me into your world. From then on, my life has changed for good. Now I'll never feel lonely again 'cause you are in my life. Love, how can I explain to you. The way I feel inside when I think of you. I thank you for everything that you've showed me. Don't you ever forget that. I love you. Love, I know that someday real soon. You'll be right next to me. Holding me so tight, so I will always be yours. Although we can't be together now. Remember I am here for you. And I know you're there for me. Whenever I long to be with you, I just close my eyes and pretend you're here. I see you, I touch you, I feel you, like real. Nothing can ever change. When I feel inside. How long must I be far away from you. I don't know dear, but I know. We are one.
He watched Nyna's face closely as his thoughts slowed. He saw her head nod. A simple nod. That was all he needed. That was all that was needed. His heart was ready to shout to the heavens. Nyna accepted his apology. He got his answer. Ashkir Devereux put down his head even closer to her, giving her a light kiss on the right cheek. He really never did that yet, really never ever did that before. He let go of her arms, giving her a hug and rolling to her side in the mud. A wide grin on his face, he had his best friend back. Ashkir Devereux now was the happiest man on Earth. The happiest man ever. He still had his long time friend, and he was gorram proud of it.
His left hand reached over, prying the bracelet away from Nyna. He slid his wand out of his side pocket gently. Without a word, with only hope, love, and passion he pointed at the bracelet it repaired itself. He had never preformed a wordless spell before. He put the wand back into his side pocket and tied the bracelet back on his right arm. Ashkir Devereux felt naked without the bracelet being on. Now he felt whole with it back on his arm, its rightful place forever and forevermore. It was his bracelet and the sign, the symbol of his and Nyna's relationship to Ashkir. It was a powerful artifact, and a powerful scene mover. The bracelet has gone through a lot as both Ashkir and Nyna done so. No matter how crappy or old the bracelet became, Ashkir loved it, not for its look, but for what it meant.
The tears he had held back so variedly for so long slowly begun to poor down the sides of his cheeks, he did not care. They were now, to seem tears of joy. But they really meant a lot more. They were all of his emotion, his world pouring out of his soul leaving him. It was a part of him, the tears were much more then what they just were, they were symbolic as well. Nothing else Ashkir Devereux could do. Within seconds he stopped the flow of tears. He perked his ears to listen to Nyna carefully just in case she said something. He was overwhelmed with joy.
The grin still on his face, Ashkir Devereux clutched some mud in his left hand, and threw it up in the air without much of an effort, to hit Nyna. He did it on purpose; it was only a playful move. He and Nyna haven't been in the mud for a long time, years in fact. Just like old times, there they were both laying, side to side in the mud, but however Nyna being much more covered in it then Ashkir was. Too bad Ashkir wore nice clothes that day. Ashkir felt like an idiot. He made a mistake by hiding his secret so long from Nyna. But now, she knew, everything was right in the world. He was happy, that was all there is to it. Happiness.