DISCLAIMER - I do not and will not ever own CCS . . . well actually, I can't really verify that last comment but it seems pretty improbable or even unlikely that I will ever own CCS . . . However, if I do someday own CCS, then all this will be coming to you on Blue Ray and DVD in a not too distant future (although I have no idea how to explain this in cannon . . .)
Not What You Think - Arrangements
Tomoyo was at lunch with Rika and Chiharu when she got the phone call.
"What's wrong?" she asked Sakura as she siphoned herself off to a deserted corner of the restaurant.
"He wants to meet," Sakura said, her voice painfully heavy with emotions she couldn't even begin to name. She felt everything all at once – every emotion known to man was throwing itself at her at the exact same time. She felt happy and sad and angry and scared and excited and nervous and painfully pleased. Any emotion she didn't feel in that moment, she expected, just wasn't worth knowing.
"Well that's good, isn't it?" Tomoyo questioned as overall she got the impression that Sakura was not entirely pleased with this occurrence.
"It's complicated," Sakura replied with a sigh, letting herself fall dramatically onto her computer chair. The email flashed innocently before her as plain as day.
"I hope this doesn't seem too sudden but I'm heading to Japan in the next few days for some business, and, well . . . I'd like to meet you."
There it was. Each word perfect and precise, selected to conceal and convey some hidden meaning that Sakura just couldn't work out. What did he mean by 'I hope this doesn't seem too sudden'? And what kind of meeting was it? Was it a date, or just two friends who by some strange twist of fate had never met before this moment? And what the hell were the ellipses (. . .) in there for? Were they an aposiopesis or was there no ulterior meaning at all?
The whole thing just perplexed her. She knew all the words and symbols, but together they just didn't make sense. Each and every one of them was making her life hell.
It was driving her insane. It was just so bloody typical of Xiao Lang to do this to her and she felt very angry with him for suggesting such a thing, and thus throwing her emotions into turmoil. 'Boys,' she thought to herself angrily, cursing all of mankind in general and Xiao Lang in particular. 'Can't live with them . . . but what choice do we have?'
"What's complicated about it?" Tomoyo questioned. "I thought we wanted this," she added, referring to the general 'we' who only wanted Sakura to be happy and it was quite apparent that Xiao Lang would fit the bill so to say.
Sakura sighed once again. "I know we came to the understanding that this was what needed to happen, but . . . I don't know. I guess I just wanted things to stay the way they are for just a little longer, and hold onto it," she tried to explain. "If we meet then it changes things and I could lose this, and I don't want to lose him."
"Calm down Sakura," Tomoyo said, cutting her off as she sensed her friends rising panic. "Deep breath's and just try to think positively. If he wants to meet you then maybe it means something, that he wants to move things forward."
"Or maybe he's just here on business and wants something to do for the next few days . . ." Sakura suggested, panic rising in her voice. "Not like that," she added quickly as Tomoyo began to reply, screwing up her eyes tightly trying to block such thoughts from entering either of their heads.
It was now Tomoyo's turn to sigh. Sakura was usually so optimistic about everything – she just couldn't understand why her friend was being so pessimistic about this. Xiao Lang wanting to meet was good, and only good things could follow.
"Sakura," she began softly but Sakura cut her off.
"What if he see's me and changes her mind?" she whispered softly, letting her mind believe for a moment that Tomoyo was right about his intentions. "What if I'm nothing like what he hoped for, and he changes his mind?"
"Then he's not who you think he is," Tomoyo told her resolutely, "and he's not worth of our Sakura."
Her words were no comfort to Sakura because she just couldn't believe it was true. She found it impossible to believe that he could be unworthy of her, and feared desperately that the opposite was true – that she was unworthy of him.
"Sakura I'm coming over," Tomoyo said with determination and resolve as she moved out of her deserted corner.
"Oh no Tomoyo," Sakura argued not wanting to put her friend out. "I'm fine, I promise. You don't need to come over."
"Too late," she replied, "my mind is made up. I'm going to come over there and we are going to write lover boy a very articulate email telling him that you would love to meet him and that you are quite desperately in love with him and anywhere is fine as long as he's there."
Tomoyo smiled a little as Sakura let out a tiny gasp. "Alright," she replied in response, willing to compromise. "We might just have to save those last two for in person."
"Dear Xiao Lang," Tomoyo dictated as Sakura typed. "I received your email mo . . . what Sakura?" Tomoyo asked upon seeing her best friend make a face.
"Well . . . I don't know . . ." Sakura began uncertainly, not wanting to piss Tomoyo off when she was being so nice as to help her write the most important email she may ever write in her life. "It's just that he knows I wouldn't talk like that. I don't want it to sound too . . . rehearsed," she explained.
Tomoyo sighed. "Sakura, we've been brainstorming over this for almost 2 hours. Of course it's going to sound rehearsed."
"Fine, fine," Sakura sighed. "Continue."
"Dear Xiao Lang," Tomoyo began again. "I was delighted by your proposition and would love to meet you . . ."
Sakura cut her off once again.
"Oh my god! He's on line!" Sakura cried, her voice panicky. "What do I do now?"
Many miles away the same thought (although with the 'he' changed to a 'she' of course) passed through Syaoran in panic.
He couldn't not talk to her; but if he talked to her, he couldn't not talk to her about his proposition. But at the same time, he didn't really want to talk to her about the proposition anyway because he didn't want to put pressure on her and if she was going to say no, he really wanted to put that off for as long as possible.
"Tomoyo, what do I do?" Sakura asked once again, bringing our attention back to Japan.
"Give me a second," Tomoyo replied looking pensive, which wasn't the least bit encouraging for poor Sakura. "I'm thinking about how I can logically justify what I'm about to say so that you'll do it without argument."
"It really depends on what you're about to say," Sakura replied, looking more worried in return. If Tomoyo was about to rely on logic, then it couldn't be good.
"Alright," Tomoyo said in a resolute way. "You have to talk to him."
"Why?"
Tomoyo sighed. She had known this was coming. "Because otherwise he'll think that something is wrong."
"Ok, I accept your proposition and it's logic," Sakura replied, exhaling slowly. With a deep breath to steady her nerves, as calmly as she could muster, she clicked on his name and typed in the messenger window.
Syaoran's computer made a muffled 'ping' noise reminiscent of Monty Python as the message appeared on his screen.
"Hey," it said simply.
"Hey," he typed simply in reply, suddenly feeling incredibly nervous.
"What are you doing surfing the net at work? You better be careful your boss doesn't find out ;." she teased.
"Oh he knows,"Syaoran replied. "And he approves as long I only spend my time with worthwhile pursuits."
"Well as long as he approves . . . :)"
"Oh this is so KAWAII!!!" Tomoyo cried reading over Sakura's shoulder. Sakura blushed; she had completely forgotten that Tomoyo was there and thus carried on conversation as she normally would.
"Well what should I say now?" Sakura asked blushing madly, trying to distract Tomoyo from what she had just seen. 'Please do not tell Meilin,' she begged in her mind. She could just imagine the two of them getting together to gush over this little known incident.
"I don't think you need my help," Tomoyo replied suggestively causing Sakura's cheeks to redden even further. She gave Tomoyo an annoyed look as she picked up a magazine and flopped herself down on Sakura's couch nonchalantly. "Tell him you were just about to send him an email."
Sakura did as she was told.
"Really? Well aren't I just the lucky one? And may I ask what this email was pertaining to?"
"Was it a saucy email?" he added as an after thought, his tone obviously teasing. Sakura giggled and then blushed as she attracted Tomoyo's attention and tried to look more neutral. She repeated to Tomoyo what Syaoran had just written (minus the saucy email business) as after all Tomoyo was there to aid her in this process.
"He's quite smooth isn't he?" Tomoyo asked with a cheeky grin. "It's no wonder you like him so much."
"Just help me with this and no more comments," Sakura said stonefacedly, trying to control her blush.
"Fine, fine," Tomoyo said. "Just tell him what we were going to put in the email. The cliff-notes version of course, he doesn't need you reciting the whole thing right now.
Sakura sighed as she typed.
"I was just replying to your email," she typed slowly and uncertainly, alluding to a particular recent email. "To tell you that I'd love to see you while you're here."
Syaoran smiled at his computer screen, his heart fluttering with joy.
"Ying Fa, you've made my day."
Sakura stared at the computer screen, her eyes locked on those two words. 'Ying Fa,' she thought to herself, her mind wrapping itself around them. 'Ying Fa?'
"Well what did he say?" Tomoyo asked from the couch.
"He said great," Sakura summarised still looking at those words. She typed them back as they appeared in her head; with a question mark hanging off the end.
Syaoran was so blissfully happy that she had said yes, that he wasn't even aware of what he had written until she returned it to him. 'Oh shit,' he thought to himself as he slammed the heel of his palm into his forehead.
It was the name he used for her in his head but he had never dared to even breathe it aloud, let alone to her face. It was too intimate to be used without her permission even though he longed to say it to her.
He had no idea what he could say to that or what she was thinking.
"I'm sorry," he replied feeling increasing awkward. "I never meant . . . I'm not really sure how to explain myself here. I didn't mean to let it slip."
"No it's ok," she replied, grateful once again that the text didn't betray how nervous she was. "I like it," she admitted in a very calming font. She bit her lip as she awaited his response.
'She likes it,' he thought to himself. 'What the hell do you say to that?'
"And it's ok if you want to call me that instead . . ."
"But I like Sakura," he replied, finally finding his voice, so to speak. "It suits you."
"Ying Fa can be something special," he continued, thinking his words out carefully. "Something you've got to earn," he teased. "Like a nickname but a little more demanding."
Sakura blushed, and Tomoyo pretended not to notice. She wasn't really sure what she had done to earn Ying Fa, but then again, she wasn't aware of how blissfully happy she had made Syaoran only a few moments earlier.
"Does that mean that I get to give you a name too?" she asked nervously. "A special one you have to earn."
"I suppose that's only fair."
"Hmmm . . ." she typed inserting a thoughtful smiley. She was going to have to think of something good because she was going to want to call him that all the time. "Can I call you . . . Shaoran?"
Syaoran made a face of displeasure – emoticon style.
"How about XL?"
He made another face.
"How about Xiao-kun?"
"But you already do call me Xiao-kun," he replied questioningly.
"That's because you already earned it."
"Goodnight Xiao-kun." she typed, and with that she signed off without giving him a chance to reply leaving him only to ponder what she meant.
~ to be continued ~
Yay! Sakura and Syaoran are meeting. Yay! Yay! Yay! Even I'm excited and I already know what's going to happen. Please review. And until next time, thanks everyone who has reviewed . . . hehe personality problems and decimal places . . . sorry, listening to hitchhikers simultaneously, Eriol would understand.