DISCLAIMER: I don't own CCS. Sorry about the song in there, but I wanted to explain the title and it seemed the most logical way. Ignore it if you like.
Not What You Think - Sweet Invention of Lovers Dream
Do I love you because you're beautiful?
Or are you beautiful, because I love you?
Sakura's eyes flashed around the fountain in the centre of the botanical gardens. He said he would wait for her in front of the fountain, but there was nobody there. Nobody looked as though they were waiting for her; nobody looked as though they were happy to see her.
He just was wasn't there.
'I'm too late,' she thought to herself. 'He's gone.'
She had hoped that he would wait for her, but she knew deep down that he wouldn't wait forever. She had missed her chance. She had lost the one man she knew was meant for her. And all because of a stupid power cut.
She let out a strangled sob as she lowered herself onto a near by bench.
It was over. The most intimate relationship she had ever had in her life was over and there was nothing she could do about it but sit there and cry until she had no more tears to cry.
"You're late Ying Fa," she heard a voice say behind her. "I though I told you not to be late."
"I . . . I . . ." she stuttered as she stood up and slowly turned around to face him. His voice was everything she had expected it to be – hard and masculine but sophisticated and understanding.
Her breath caught in her throat as she caught his eyes. They were amber, just like his sisters had suggested, but with golden flakes in them that set his eyes off against his chestnut locks which fell unruly over his forehead as though they could never be tamed. He was tall, definitely over six feet, and had a muscular build – probably from all his marital arts training.
His face was hard and strong, but very handsome. The hard lines of his jaw and sharpness of his features were almost mean if not for his eyes, which were soft and kind and open, bringing his whole face into a different light.
And they were looking at her – those eyes – studying her as she was studying him. They made her feel as though she was the most important person in the world. While those eyes were on her, she felt so special and as though nothing else could ever matter again.
"Xiao Lang?" she asked hopefully, her voice quiet and reverent. She knew it was him; it just had to be him. He was exactly how she had imagined him to be, only even more perfect that she could ever dare to dream.
He bowed respectfully smiling exactly how she always imagined he would smile. It was small and a little crooked but it lit up his eyes with just a hint of mischief and she couldn't help but smile a little herself even though all she wanted to do was burst into tears and fall into his arms.
He took a couple of steps towards her so there was only about a meter between them. They both stood somewhat awkwardly and unsure of themselves.
"I was afraid you had stood me up," he told her pensively, his eyes clouding over slightly. His brows seemed to furrow in concentration, but perhaps it was only in anticipation as he conflicted with himself over whether or not he should carry on. "But you were worth the wait," he finished tentatively, looking at the ground below her feet.
Am I making believe, I see in you,
A girl too lovely to, be really true?
Sakura blushed bright red and began apologizing profusely. She tried to explain to him everything that had gone wrong that very morning, but they all seemed so small and insignificant now that she was before him. She was trying to describe the series of unfortunate events that had kept her from him, but they had failed to do so, and now they simply paled in comparison.
"I forgive you," he said in reply, his eyes glinting mischievously and his grin widening. "But on one condition."
Sakura gazed at him expectantly her eyes sparkling with excitement. He was almost exactly the same in person as he was on line and in his emails. The only difference was that in person he was even more charismatic and charming.
Her thoughts raged unstoppably inside her head as she tried her best to stay cool and collected on the outside. She was analyzing his every move and every word. Her body was stiff, readying herself for whatever response needed to be made.
Her knees felt weak. Her heart pounded loudly in her chest. Her hands were shaking. Her stomach was filled with millions of butterflies fluttering to their hearts content.
She had never felt happier in her life, and it took an incredible amount of willpower not to melt into the floor as he smiled at her in the most heartbreaking way.
"What is it?" she choked out, her voice betraying the full extent of her nervousness like a jilted lover airing her dirty laundry in town for all to see. She hoped he hadn't noticed; and if he had noticed, she hoped he was nice enough to pretend he hadn't.
"I'm going to ask you 10 questions," he told her, pressing onwards, his mischievous grin widening. He was feeling braver than he expected – something about her made him want to be brave and take risks. "And you have to answer all of them as truthfully as possible."
Her eyes widened and her mouth formed a tiny 'o', but she nodded, entranced by his eyes which stared unfalteringly into her own. She would answer everything, no holding back. If now was her only chance, then she would tell him anything and everything he asked of her.
He smiled again and her heart quickened. "Ok, we'll start off easy," he told her. "Question 1: What is your full name?"
"Sakura Kinomoto," she replied, breathing a sigh of relief. Perhaps it wouldn't be as bad as she thought.
"Favourite nickname?" he asked, looking uncertain for a moment and watching her expectantly.
She smiled at him shyly; sure he already knew her answer. "Ying Fa," she replied quietly, because nothing every made her feel as safe and special and loved as when she read those words or heard them spoken aloud from his lips. "Even when I don't deserve it," she added.
"You always deserve it," he said quickly, before moving on to the next question. "Favourite song at the moment?" he asked.
"The Way You Look Tonight," she replied, hoping he wouldn't ask her to explain why that particular song was playing itself on loop in her head."
Syaoran looked thoughtful for a moment then suddenly began to recite the lyrics in a low voice, not looking at her, but his cheeks staining slightly red.
"You're lovely, with your smile so warm and your cheeks so soft. There is nothing for me but to love you. And the way you look tonight"
Sakura studied him carefully as he finished. She wondered if the lyrics meant the same to him as they did to her. Was he reciting the words because he understood and felt the same, or was it simply because he was a fan of Sinatra and would have given a rather similar response if her song of choice was 'Mac the Knife' and not nearly as fitting to the moment between them?
"Where do you see yourself in 10 years?" he asked suddenly, shaking him self as if shaking himself from a trance.
Sakura started a bit, caught off guard. She had been so absorbed in her own thoughts; she was surprised when he asked her a question.
She sighed; this was not a question she could answer easily. "I don't know," she said quietly. "I used to be so sure, but I feel like I'm no longer qualified to answer that question. I feel like my fate lies somewhere outside of me.
"Where do you see me in 10 years?" she asked looking at him hopefully.
Syaoran was startled by her question. "I . . . uh . . ." he started unable to answer. He didn't realize that her question was the answer to his; that her answer depended on his. Her fate, as she had called it, now depended on him
"You'll have your turn later," he said, turning red as he did. It was not an easy question for him either.
"Where do you want to live?" he asked, suddenly appearing even more nervous than before.
"Somewhere nice," she replied looking thoughtful. "Somewhere warm," she added remembering her vow as she continued. She would tell him everything. She paused as she tried to catch his eye meaningfully. "Somehwhere . . . where you would be."
Syaoran took in a quick inhale of breath as their eyes locked for a few moments. Sakura tried desperately to read his eyes and work out what he was thinking, but they were clouded with thought, and she got nothing.
He nodded, apparently satisfied by her answer. He took a step forward so that he was standing right in front of her as he asked his next question.
"Sakura," he said softly, almost whispering her name with reverence, "have you ever been in love?"
Both of them recalled her original answer – so sad and full of hope. She longed for love; and now he was asking the question on everybodies lips – had she found it? In less than three months, had she found it?
'Of all the questions to ask,' she thought to herself despairingly. After that he would know for sure. There was nobody else; there could be nobody else. And here he was asking her to admit it to both of them without so much as a 'hi, how are you?'.
But that was the kind of person he was – direct and to the point. And she loved him for it.
She loved that he would complain about his sisters' dreadful attempts at setting him up, but would never fail to show up to one of their fateful dinner parties. He knew what awaited him, but he would not let him down. He had an incredible sense of duty and the importance of family.
She loved that he cared so desperately for freedom and equality. She loved that she could talk to him about her own beliefs and absolutely anything else, and he would never judge her. He seemed to accept her for exactly who she was.
She loved that she could feel so safe and warm just wrapped inside his words. She didn't care that it didn't make sense to anyone else, well, accept maybe him. She hoped that he understood because he was more real to her than anything else that existed in her life and it would break her heart if none of this made sense to him.
But mostly she loved the way his words brought light into her life when nothing else would. He brought out the best in her. Even now, after what had started off as the worst day of her life, he brought a smile to her face and a light to her eyes.
Even now as he was asking her to admit aloud something she was only just ready to admit to her self.
Do I want you because you're wonderful?
Or are you wonderful, because I want you?
"Yes," she said quietly, bowing her head down in shame and staring at the ground. He almost wouldn't have heard her if he hadn't been standing so near.
Tears began to well in her eyes, but she wouldn't look up.
Slowly, almost painfully so, he reached out and touched her cheek. He was surprised to find them damp with tears, but he wiped them away with light touches, his fingers softly tracing the outline of her face as they trailed down her jaw line. He nestled his fist under her chin, forcing her to look up at him.
Her eyes met his in a clash of amber and emerald. They were even more beautiful close up; warm and understanding. She felt as though she could fall straight into them. He smiled down at her softly, and she felt incapable of looking away.
"Love is nothing to be ashamed of," he said blushing slightly for reasons Sakura couldn't understand dropping his hand to his side. He was drowning in her eyes, unable to look away no matter what he did. Everything about her was more beautiful than he could ever dream of.
"Sakura I'm going to ask you one more question," he said, his tone becoming very serious.
"But you've only asked six," she replied automatically, almost as if in a trance. "You still have four more questions to go."
"I know," he replied softly, a chuckle evident in his voice, but not betraying anything else, "but it's kind of important and it can't really wait so I thought it was worth what was left."
Sakura nodded, accepting his justification for skipping to his final question. She took a deep breath to steady herself and grounded her feet. She had the strangest feeling as though she would simply float away. But she couldn't, not at that moment; not unless Syaoran would go with her.
"Sakura Kinomoto," he continued after taking a deep steadying breath of his own, "do you love me?"
She nodded dumbly, her eyes filling with fresh tears. But before she even knew what to do with herself, she felt Syaoran's lips pressed gently against hers, savouring her taste.
She closed her eyes, giving into the kiss, and pressing her lips back against his. She wrapped her arms around his neck and his hands found their way to his hips. Whatever space that had existed between them was now closed and they held on like nothing else mattered in that moment or ever would again.
'If this is my last moment on earth,' Sakura thought dreamily to herself, the only lucid thought she could have in that moment, 'then it was worth it . . .'
Syaoran broke away first, his lips moving up her cheek and towards her ear.
"Ask me anything," he whispered almost breathlessly. "You have one question; ask me anything."
She pulled away from him smiling, only so she could look him in the eye as she asked the most important question in either of their lives to date. It was a question she hoped she already knew the answer to, and so she smiled even though a different answer could break her heart completely.
"Xiao Lang Li," she said gently, pushing a stray strand of chestnut hair away from his face. "Do you love me?"
"Yes Sakura," he said with such certainty it made her heart ache with happiness. He took her hand in his and gently brought it to his lips with a sweet smile, his eyes never leaving his.
"I love you Ying Fa," he said pulling her close to him. "More than anything else . . . I know that I love you."
This time it was Sakura's lips that met his, harder this time, less shy and tentative. The kiss was deep and passionate, conveying everything that was yet to be said and didn't need to be said.
When they finally broke apart, Sakura spoke the three small words that he felt like he had been longing to hear from her his whole life.
"I love you," she whispered, her eyes glistening with happiness. "I love you Xiao-kun."
Are you the sweet invention of lovers dream?
Or are you really as beautiful as you seem.
(© Rogers and Hammerstein)
THE END