Disclaimer: the usual… I own nothing but my own characters!

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Little reminder:

"Normal conversation"

Thoughts of Lena and only Lena

'Thoughts of the imaginary friend (?)'

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Chapter 9: A draft

Josh was out hunting: our tête-à-tête had required him a lot of effort to resist the smell of my blood. I had stayed at least an hour on my bed, alone, thinking back to our discussion, the discovery of his power, the prospects that it offered. Before leaving, Josh asked me not to reveal his gift to the others:

"I am constantly guarded, I feel I no longer have privacy! So that, at least, I keep it for me, for us: it will be our little secret."

"But Edward will eventually find out, he will certainly hear us!"

"Edward is not often there if you haven't noticed, we will just have to be careful in his presence."

I nodded, accepting his request without further explanation, although I was not sure to approve. The Cullens trusted us, what would be their reaction when learning that such an important fact had been hidden to them! But I did not want to offend him, he was finally coming back to me... and after all, we were adults and were not accountable to anyone!

I tried to comfort myself in that Josh's decision was the good one and finally went downstairs: I was starving. Hardly on the landing had Esme hugged me. Esme was really motherly, a little too much perhaps! However she was of a great comfort and I had no longer a real family, so when she bent down to embrace me, I let her do so, gratefully.

"I am so glad that you've decided to stay! You're part of the family for me... "

Emmett, like an echo to what she had just said, tapped me gently on the shoulder and failed to make me fall! His idea of a little friendly pat was not really the same as mine. Rosalie was standing near the window and took care to ignore me throughout the whole exchange. When she went to her room however, I believed I had detected a slight nod towards me... or had I dreamed?

A new growl of my stomach brought me back on the right path: the kitchen. Esme was finishing drawing up the new course she had learned to cook: pasta a la carbonara. It was frustrating to see a vampire, despite her profound distaste for all these food odors, was far more talented than me for cooking!

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The days that followed were the happiest since his transformation. Although Josh had kept his old habit of leaving a room when I entered in it, he sometimes decided to stay near its door or window, breathing the outside air. That's what he did that day when I landed in the living room, a book under my arm. I smiled noticing he did not wish to go: I loved our telepathic discussions but I loved them even more when they were made face to face. His power allowed us to have long discussions even though we were in two different rooms. It was as if I was hanging on the phone constantly, but I had to be careful to keep an impassive air when I was not alone. And I was rarely alone: there was always a Cullen near me or Josh, our bodyguards as I called them. And today, the task was assigned to Alice, who was dawdling on the sofa, a stack of fashion magazines scattered around her.

'Hello sweetheart'


Hello, did you sleep wel... Obviously it was difficult to get rid of some old habits!

He grinned and I smiled back at him, blissfully, admiring his vampiric beauty.

'Alice is going to suspect something if you remain frozen there like that!'

I hardly got out of my contemplation to go to sit in an armchair, so as to face him, and I pretended to read my book.

It intrigues me...

'What?'


Your power! Are you sure that it doesn't work on the others? Perhaps Alice hears us right now!


'Let's try: Alice, your sweater is really ugly today!'

I burst out laughing. Alice looked at me enquiringly. She had apparently heard nothing.

"No, no, it's just a phrase from the book..."

She raised her eyebrows, but went quickly back to her chase of the perfect outfit.

'And what might be that funny in an Agatha Christie book?'


Oh stop it, I found nothing else to say! She did not even have seen what I'm reading anyway...


'What you are reading?'


What I pretend to read, you understand! But don't change of subject: have you really tried?


'Why do you want me to try? Don't you like it that it works only for you?'


Oh yes, of course, but I must admit that I am curious to understand why... Carlisle would be of good advice you know.


'No way! We don't tell him or anyone else!'


Don't get upset, I understand... but please, try again, just to see. I was doing my imploring pout which he could never resist.


'And what do you want me to do?'


Concentrate on Alice, with all your might, and try to talk to her.

He seemed to concentrate for at least one minute and then began:

"How are you Alice?"

"Hmm? All right…" She did not even throw him a look, too absorbed in her reading.

JOSH!!

He seemed hilarious, retaining himself to burst out laughing with difficulty but seeing that I did not share his humor, he said:

'OK, I'm really going to try...'

He focused again:


'ALICE, DO YOU HEAR ME? AAALIICCCEEE?'


I could not help but heave a cry of pain: it was as if he had just screamed in my ears! I rubbed my temples, recovering slowly from my hearing shock.

"Lena, what's happening? Are you all right?" Alice worried. She had apparently heard nothing.

'Lena, my love, what's going on?' Josh apparently did not realize the strength of his shout.

"Nothing, nothing, a simple headache I think..."

"I'll get some aspirin" she answered.

"No, it's OK, it's already decreasing..."

"Prevention is better than cure. And I should talk about it to Carlisle, I am not sure that it is normal..." she said while moving away towards the stairs. In a blink of an eye, she was back, standing in front of me and holding me a glass of water and a pill that I took without further argument.

'Lena, what's the matter?'


You literally shouted Josh, so sorry but I could not help but react...


'Oh excuse me, I'm sorry. You see, this was not a good idea! She apparently had not heard anything anyway.'

It got somewhat closer, looking worried.

Josh I'm fine, it's nothing.


'...'


Josh?

He remained frozen, a few meters from me, staring at the table, overwhelmed.

I followed his gaze and then discovered, mixed with the magazines of Alice, the reason of his silence. A newspaper had been left open, and one of its pages was showing a picture of us together with a title that made me feel a pang:

FUNERAL OF THE COUPLE OF HIKERS MISSING IN THE FOREST:

THE FAMILY IN MOURNING GRIEVES FOR ITS CHILDREN.

I read with horror the small article which recalled that the research had ceased and that the couple (us!) had certainly died of cold and exhaustion. The family had then resigned to organize their (our) funeral...

I turned towards him, seeking comfort, but he avoided my gaze, looking in the opposite way.

'They're mourning you, they think that you're dead...'


That we are dead, I corrected him.

'But I am dead Lena, so it's normal that they mourn me, I won't come back. Whereas you, you are still alive, if you wanted it you could meet them again... come back to them…'

Finally he turned towards me, his face reflecting his sorrow but also guilt. He felt guilty! But it was my own decision!

Josh, my love, I love you and I want to stay with you... It's my decision and if it is the price to stay at your side, then I'll pay it.


'But it's so unfair! You could very well combine the two! You don't have to choose, Carlisle is wrong, they're all wrong, you would never betray us!'

He was shaking with anger now, his fists tight and his look dark. I thanked the heavens that Alice could be so passionate by fashion right now!

Josh, calm down, I have already talked about this with them and their arguments are rather convincing you know...


'Yes, I know, they served me the same speech the day...'

He did not finish his sentence, and I understood he was talking about the day when I nearly left him (ouch, to only think about that hurt me). I finally understood the reason for his rage that day: he held it against them for drawing me away from my family, for forcing me to choose between them and Josh...

Taken by an impulse, I stood up slowly and approached him, with a slow but determined step. He did not move for a moment, before understanding my intentions and stiffened. I did not discourage for all that: Edward could stay with Bella, he was used to her smell, so Josh could also do the same with me!

I held my hand out to him, expecting him at any moment to disappear, but he was still there, holding his breath. The sound of pages being turned abruptly stopped, Alice came to realize my intentions, but I would not be distracted.

Encouraged by the inaction of the two vampires in the room, I continued my movement, finally reaching his hand, touching his fingers so...

... cold!


'Yours are burning!'

He was gazing at me, silently encouraging me to continue even if he seemed to struggle for not running away. I had never been so close to him: his eyes had lost their so mysterious green color that I loved so much. They were golden brown now, staring at me as if they saw me for the first time.

My fingers slipped into his hand and tenderly mingled with his, and nothing at that time could compel me to leave them... nothing if not a draft:

A draft created by the front door that Emmett had just opened...

This same draft which made my hair fly slightly...

This vulgar draft which, in the blink of an eye, turned the golden eyes of my lover in the dark eyes of a blood thirsty beast...

This stupid draft which, accompanied by a sudden gust, took away from me my love before I can react...

That damned draft which, despite the distance, pushed Josh to tell me the worst thing he ever said to me...


'It will never work... I'll kill you if you stay there.'


What! No way! I made my decision, and it is irrevocable: I stay. At the very worst, I would become like you, but never say this to me again! Ever!

This hated draft which learned me that the gift of Josh also allowed me to hear his sobs...

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Yes, I know, vampires don't cry but can have silent sobs, can't they?

This green button is really hypnotizing don't you think?!