Throw and Go (You're not gonna like this lovelies, but it had to be done. It's like taking off a bandaid... But things will get better. I swear on my love for all of you.)
Charlie made it back to Josef's house in record time. It was that quick, like a switch had turned off in her mind. It was no longer 'home' or 'my house.' It was 'Josef's house.' Period.
She let herself in, and looked around for a moment before walking to the kitchen.
She grabbed a tall glass of blood and plopped down in her favorite of Josef's overstuffed chairs. Mulling over what she'd seen, she downed the blood quickly. She couldn't stay. It was that crystal clear. She could not look at him, knowing she was just one girl in line to bear her neck for him. She felt foolish even thinking of how much she had wanted to be with him. And all the time, he was just looking for a diversion. Lovely. Worse, it perfectly explained his distance after they'd had been together. And had she been paying attention, rather than seeing only what she wanted to see, she would have known that right from the beginning.
"Damn it to hell," Charlie said to an empty house.
All of this just illustrated her belief that there was no way she could continue to live with him. The embarrassment alone would kill her.
Standing up with a start, she put the glass in the sink, and sprinted to her room. Surveying it quickly, Charlie decided it looked a little like a hurricane with her clothes strewn about the floor. She had a bad habit of letting her clothes lay wherever she took them off, it was almost made her smile. It took her a few moments to gather what was hers. Folding her clothes neatly, she put them back into the same bag she had used to bring them to Josef's house. She grabbed her toiletries from the bathroom she had used. She trailed the house silently, picking up stray books and notebooks, filing them in her book bag.
Too quickly, it seemed, all proof that she'd ever been a part of the house was in two bags in her arms. She took them out to the car, and came back in before realizing what she had forgotten for the second time in the recent past. Her guitar was still tucked away under the bed.
Pulling it from under the bed, she took it out of it's case. Realizing she hadn't felt like playing it in the days since everything happened with Josef, she decided to play a song before taking it to the car.
She was making a change, and the choice made her want to play, whereas not knowing had made her miserable. She began to strum her favorite song.
(Cry Lonely by Cross Canadian, also my favorite song, and as such, it may appear again as a main chapter song)
When the rain runs down your window
And you can't hold back your tears
And you're so afraid to be alone
You know I'm always right here
You cry lonely
And I come running
I come to your rescue
I'll chase your blues away
You cry lonely
But you don't really want me
And I won't be there
One of these days
You always say your heart is breaking
Then you hear the wolf outside your door
I know you, you're just using me
Till you don't need me anymore
You cry lonely
And I come running
I come to your rescue
I'll chase your blues away
You cry lonely
But you don't really want me
And I won't be there
One of these days
Some day when you know
You really love me
You're gonna cry my name
And I'll be gone
I won't be there
When you cry my name
Charlie refused to think of how the song related to her current situation. She was holding back tears, as she closed the guitar case. She carried it out to the car and put it in the trunk along with her two bags.
Walking back to the house, she fished her cell out of her pocket. It was a little late, so she wasn't really surprised when Beth did not pick up. It wasn't as if she needed advice, Charlie supposed. After the tone, Charlie said, calmly, "Beth, it's Charlie. Things didn't go exactly as planned. Don't worry, though. I'm fine. I'll call you soon. Bye."
Flipping the phone shut, she looked back at the clock on the exterior screen. Just about an hour until Josef got home. Determined to walk away with her pride, she went into the house and turned on the TV, deciding to wait until she said goodbye to leave.
She did, unfortunately, fall completely asleep on the couch. It was one of those things that Charlie would look back on and want to bang her head against the wall.
Josef came home, and was surprised to find Charlie's unconscious body on the couch. It was just a moment, but without her discerning eyes, he felt perfectly fine picking her up and cradling her in his arms. She stirred in his arms, and he went still as a statue. When she calmed, he carried them both to the freezer. It didn't matter that there were several hours of night left. They were exhausted. She was exhausted. It was bone-deep and he could see it.
He didn't even bother to take their clothes off, other than to remove his suitcoat and shoes. He laid next to her, and stared at her reverently. Praying to a deity he wasn't even sure he believed existed, he begged that she'd soon choose. That she'd choose him. That she wouldn't always be ashamed of the memory of his skin against her. But mostly, he was ashamed to admit to himself, he just wanted to be able to scoop her into his arms when she was awake, just like he held her now sleeping body. He laid there, looking at the face that had become dearer to him than any, he continued what he called his 'selfish prayers' before falling into a deep sleep.
He didn't know how much time had passed when he did stir.
Josef rolled over in the freezer to reach for her arm. Met with only the cool sheets, he sat up, wide awake to look for her. Not seeing her, he walked to her rooms, sure that she was just getting dressed or curled up with a book. But her room was immaculate. Cleaner than when she moved in. He pulled out the dresser drawers and opened the empty closet, slamming the door shut again when he realized.
She was gone.
He tested the words in his mind.
He tore through the house, looking for any clue to how long she'd been gone, a still warm glass of blood, a trail of dust, anything.
She was gone.
Throw and Go by Eli Young Band
We're kicking up a cloud of dust
On a bird's eye view of us
I'll be damned if I'm gonna rust
In a town I never thought of much
Gotta throw and go
Make new ground
Leave in a hush (hush)
Take what ain't nailed down
Don't trip the wire
Don't let the neighbors know
By the time the light hits
We'll be so far gone
Throw and go