Jet Black and Jealous

This chapter would have been up on SUNDAY if it hadn't been for the EPIC FAIL of ffn. Locking me out for THREE days! Gah. Rant over.

(I promised a Josef POV to a few people, because just one side of the story, well, it was getting confusing. And I have to give the sexiest vamp in LA more credit than that. My momma taught me manners, even if they didn't all stick. LOL.)

Josef didn't really admit to things. If you were going to live forever, which he was, then contrary to popular opinion, denial was a perfectly good solution.

So he was unwilling to admit that he missed her. That he dreaded going home to house devoid of her. He couldn't even look at a freshie the same way. He tried not to glare at them, because, it obviously wasn't their fault. But, damn it, that was when everything went to hell. Bottles were easier... he was almost certain.

That day, the day he saw she'd left, he went immediately into the office.

It took only a moment to verify that she'd gone back to her old apartment. He'd had the entryway rigged with motion sensors, and really he knew it anyway. Charlie was the type. If her quarry went to ground, she would retreat to the familiar. He didn't bother to ask himself how he had gleaned so much about her character, but again, self awareness was never really his strong suit.

That day, he called Jane, his secretary, to let her know that the male freshie was to go to a different address. Then he made a call that it strongly annoyed him to make.

"Mick, I need you to tell me who made your freezer."

"Josef, you have a freezer," Mick said in confusion.

"I'm aware of that," Josef said drily. "But someone else needs one, and I figured your guy works quickly."

"Who needs it?" Mick asked.

"I fail to see how that's relevant," Josef said defensively.

"So Charlie," Mick ascertained from Josef's tone. "I'll text you the number."

The next call was much more pleasant, despite the outrageous sum of money he had to shell out to get the freezer built in two days. At least the person on the other end didn't say things that made him want to throw the phone against the wall.

And slowly, agonizingly slowly, a week passed. Josef was befuddled. He had been certain that once she'd fed from a human, she would realize he wasn't a monster, and come back.

It took all he had not to race to her and demand, no beg, he would have begged, that she come back. That she forget this nonsense and let everything go back to the way it was when they were happy.

They were happy.

Together.

And now he was unhappy alone.

This realization hit him like a well placed right hook to the mouth.

And worse, it seemed she was hell bound and determined to go it alone. It wasn't a question of whether she could take care of herself. He knew she was strong and smart, but why wouldn't she accept his help. She'd taken the freezer, that was true, but he had no idea where she was getting blood, or if she was financially okay.

He'd never worried about anyone before, and it was making him extraordinarily irritable.

He was in this black mood when Beth barged into his office.

He stood in surprise and choked out in panic, "Is she- Is she okay?"

"No she's not okay, and it's your fault," Beth retorted angrily.

"What exactly are you trying to say Beth?" he asked, calming visibly.

"She loves you, damn it. And yet here you sit," Beth said.

"You've got it all wrong," he explained. "She saw me feeding from someone and it scared her. That's why she left, because she thinks I'm a monster."

"Seriously, four hundred years and you're no smarter than a 20 year old," she scoffed. "It wasn't the blood. It was you. With another woman. Intimately. Can I make this any clearer?"

"She doesn't," it hurt him to continue, "she doesn't feel that way about me. She's made that abundantly clear."

"What because it was awkward after you fucked her?" Beth asked. "Did you think for even just one moment that she was giving you a chance to decide? That she was just worried you didn't care for her? A worry that you proved very thoroughly when she saw you with another woman!"

"Beth I think you should go. It's obvious that there has been a misunderstanding, and if you ask her, I'm sure she'll tell you what happened. But as of now, you should go," Josef said in what Beth categorized as a 'scary calm' voice.

"You're breaking her heart. You're breaking a heart you didn't deserve in the first place," Beth shouted.

"She doesn't love me, Beth. I don't know how many times and different ways I can say it," Josef said aggravated, tugging a hand through his hair.

"If you're this oblivious, god, you don't deserve her," Beth replied in disgust.

"Finally something we agree on. You think I don't know that? I know I don't deserve her. You think that I haven't been sitting here convincing myself not to kidnap her just so I could see her face? Is that what you think? Really?" Josef growled, his voice cracking.

"I think you're gonna lose her. And break her, all at the same time. And you don't even care," Beth said beginning in a shout and finishing in a whisper.

"I don't care?" he asked quietly to no one in particular. "This is killing me. Okay, it's fucking killing me, but she can't even look at me. It doesn't matter if that's because of the sex or the blood, same result, she doesn't want to see me. Despite what you may think, I can't fix this," he concluded in the most defeated voice he had ever used.

"Thank you, for proving my point. I tell you she is fracturing, breaking into a million pieces, and all you can think is how it affects you. But this isn't about you. Just fucking once, this is NOT about YOU." Beth let out a very impressive growl, and turned towards the door.

Then Josef said in a small voice, "Beth?"

She ground her teeth as she turned around. She would not feel sorry for him. He caused this. "Yes?"

"She's okay, right? You'd let me know if she needed anything?" Josef asked looking at the floor.

"I would. For her. You don't deserve that consideration," Beth said wrathfully.

And as she walked out, Josef was filled with a new respect for Beth. His girl would make it if she had friends like Beth.

He tried not to think about Beth's words. He knew that she and Charlie spoke, and he hoped even more often now that Charlie was on her own. But Beth's words haunted him.

She loves you, you're breaking her heart, Beth had said.

It kept running through his mind, like a song on repeat.

Beth was probably wrong, he told himself. But doubt had already wormed its way into his mind.

Jet Black and Jealous by Eli Young Band

You never were one for resting easy were you
So much that when they told me
How you left us here behind
That I didn't even bat an eye believing
The words I should have said
To make you stay but couldn't find
I just hope that road will one day
Watch you walk right back to me
Till then I'll be jet black and jealous
Tell me how was I to know
Tell me how can I let go