Speech

Thought

Jutsu/Kasumi

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"That was fun, Kakashi-Sensei." Naruto grinned as his dusted himself off after a five minute assault on the jounin, "I gotta admit, you're good. Nothing I threw landed and you don't even look winded"

"Thanks..I think." Kakashi responded, staring at the crater one of Naruto's jutsus left, "If this is his idea of fun. I''ll be damned if I wanna see him pissed." He turned back to the blond, only to find he was nowhere to be seen, "Heh, at least one of them has figured it out. Now, time for me to have some fun."

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(Sakura and Sasuke get taken down canon-style, fyi)

Sasuke cursed as he watched Naruto come up with an unconscious Sakura draped over his shoulder, his encounter with Kakashi had been less than stellar, though he had managed to touch one of the bells, "Get me out of here, Dobe!"

"Let me think about it..no." Naruto responded, laying the girl down beside him, "You haven't figured it out at all, have you?"

"What the hell are you blabbering about!?"

"The bells are a decoy, genius. A seasoned jounin against one genin fresh outta the academy, who do you think has the upper hand? The test is teamwork." He started shaking Sakura to wake her, "We have to work as a unit to pass."

"A team will only slow me down!" The Uchiha snapped, "I touched one anyway, I'll get it next time!"

BRIIINGGG!!

"Unfortunately, 'next time' wont be any time soon." Kakashi said, appearing behind him.

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The group was soon back at the posts, with Sasuke and Sakura each tied to one

"Why the hell are WE tied up?! Naruto no Baka didn't get a bell either!" Sakura hollered, shooting both free shinobi a look almost as cold as her crush's

Kakashi looked her dead in the eye, "Because, unlike you, Naruto figured out the real test. He even told you so you could work together. Teamwork is one of the most important aspects of ANY shinobi team, from genin to ANBU. However, neither of you even tried to look underneath for the real picture. Sakura, you're so obsessed with Saskue, you never even bothered to look for Naruto to help him. Sasuke, you're so full of yourself, you think being on a team is beneath you." Kakashi glared at them slightly, "Look, I'm going to give you another chance. We'll resume in half an hour. Naruto, don't give either one of them anything to eat." With that, the man disappeared in a puff of smoke.

"Here," Naruto said, calling up a shadow clone and holding out some food to both of them.

"You idiot! Kakashi-Sensei told you.." Sakura snapped before being cut off

"Not to feed you. Yeah, yeah. I know." His brow raised some when a low rumble emanated from both genin, "But neither of you are gonna be in any condition to fight if you don't get something on your stomachs since you both skipped eating earlier."

Sasuke grimaced for a moment before giving in and eating. His 'groupie' quickly followed suit after seeing him.

They barely got in a couple of bites before the cyclopian shinobi reappeared.

And he looked pissed. "WHAT DID I JUST TELL YOU!?" He roared, going through handseals, "FOR THAT YOU...pass." He smiled behind his mask.

"Pass?? But.." Sakura started,

"Yes, he disobeyed an order, but sometimes it's necessary to ensure the survival or your teammates. True, those who break the rules are trash, but those that willing abandon their team are worse." He gave them a thumbs up, "Tomorrow, Team 7 begins it's first mission

"Sweet" Naruto said, before catching something Kakashi had tossed to him.

It was one of the bells.

"You said you'd let me read that book if I gave you a bell. There's a bell, so gimmie! Gimmie gimmie gimmie!" Naruto sweatdropped as the jounin held his hands out eagerly.

"Perverts..I'm surrounded by 'em."

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"BAH-HAHAHA!! Oh Kami, that's funny!" Kasumi roared with laughter from inside the seal where she was watching Tora, the dyamio's cat, try to chew off Sakura's hair

"Bow on left ear. it's the right one." Sasuke said, an almost entertained look on his face as he watched the girl flail her arms around, screaming for someone to pull the damn feline off.

Naruto, on the other hand, felt a migraine coming on, "Two months of pulling weeds, painting fences, and chasing this stupid cat..this isn't shinobi work, it's just doing lazy bastards' chores!"

"Calm down, Naru-Kun. You know these are just their idea of fostering teamwork and comraderie."

"Teamwork? 'Does not play well with others' is the only thing I can say about either one of them."

After a brief fight to unlatch Tora from the kunoichi, Team 7 brought it back to the mission assignment office. There, the unfortunate animal was snatched up and put in a crushing hug by the Dyamio's wife.

"Tighter..tighter..squeeze it tighter.." Sakura let out an insane giggle as she watched the cat get smooshed.

After receiving payment for the task, Sarutobi looked at the team, "Well, since everyone else has already received new assignments, your choices are cleaning out a shed across town, helping at the daycare center.."

"TORA, COME BACK!"

"Or chasing down Tora."

Before Kakashi could answer, Naruto groaned, "Ojiji, please...there's gotta be something better than another D-Rank. I'm begging you; we've done over fifty so far."

"Naruto," Iruka piped up, "You're all still relatively new genin.."

Sarutobi raised a hand, "It's all right, Iruka." He picked up a folder, "I think I know what to do. This is a low C-Rank. A bridge builder named Tazuna is wanting an escort back to his home town in Wave Country. The worst you should have to deal with is possible bandits." He looked to Kakashi, "Feel your team is up for it?"

Kakashi never even looked up from his book, "Hm? Oh yeah, sure."

"Ok, you can come on out now." Sarutobi called out, watching a heavy-set man lurch into the room, a sake jug firmly in hand.

"Kami!" Naruto coughed, his nanite-enhanced senses catching the smell of booze, "This guy REEKS!"

"THIS is the team I'm getting!? I asked for Shinobi and you give me a bunch of brats still in their diapers! They all look like they'd piss themselves at the first sign of danger!" He started another insult when Naruto walked up and snatched the jug out of his hand.

"And you're a fatass whino bastard." The blond said dryly, braining him with his own jug.

"Naruto! Calm down. It won't help the mission any if you kill the client." Kakashi said,

"How about a light concussion?"

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Heh, the genin test was never really my best part. But don't worry. It gets better from now.

As for the results, it looks like Zabuza lives and FemHaku joins in.