"An Infinity of Mirrors"
A term coined by T.S. Elliot. It is often now used to explain the complex movement between double agent to triple, the poetic simplicity of everyday espionage. A paranoia so far accompanied by the selfish desires and gain of powerless intelligence. A hall of mirrors, reflecting back an unrecognizable self. The dehumanization of a spy.
Disclaimer: I do not own any character/organization/plot theme that appears in the game Resident Evil. (Regardless of the many letters Capcom may receive on my behalf wishing otherwise)
This story will be following Ada Wong from the aftermath of Resident Evil 2 all the way up to RE5. Hopefully, even after that; all depends on the game itself. The purpose of this story is to help take away some of the mystery and make sense of one of the most complex characters I've ever had the pleasure of witnessing. What has she been up too? Where was she when this happened? I plan on answering just that, in my own way while coinciding with the canon universe of Resident Evil.
Tl;DR summary: Post RE2-4. "Who is Ada Wong? Would you believe me if I told you I didn't even know anymore? Good. You shouldn't." An attempt to unravel the mysteries of Ada Wong. Minor Ada/Leon.
Also, every chapter title is in correlation to either a phrase, title of a play or short story, term, and quote. All encompassing my thoughts on Ada Wong herself. If you can catch what any of them are or what they are from, hats off to you. (COOKIES)
And now on to the story!
Madama Butterfly
It's a funny thing…death. Caught in the moment, you can face it with fear or bravery; but in the end, that one concept is the last thought floating in your mind. A nagging suspicion of uncertainty bombarded with questions. It's all the same.
Is this it? Am I it? Is this what it really feels like? I feel so…at peace.
There is no difference.
Now imagine the idea of death and all it stands for: Loss. You lose everything, your life, your existence as a human being. Those who bothered to love you lose your company, and perhaps the world lost an opportunity of your gracing potential.
But the way I see it…I see it as something gained.
A sacrifice protecting the only one worth saving, the only decent person who has all the makings to change the world over.
One last shot at redemption from a life of selfish desire and careless indifference.
A faint tingle as his lips last sweep against yours, apologizing and pleading you along. In the end, protecting you all just the same.
Protecting you from death itself.
It's worth it…saving the man you love.
Or it was.
Before I survived.
A faint, guilty smile crept across her features before fading away entirely. Carefully studying her own expression reflecting back at her had brought a strange new feeling that she hadn't experienced in a long time.
Remorse.
Remorse for the life she had been living all this time. Remorse for the one that she had left behind. Remorse for the one that had yet to be taken from her.
She was still here, her body taking in a shaky breath as it processed the alternative.
She was so close to losing it all, and that close to getting everything that she wanted. A large part of her had fought tooth and nail for the invaluable opportunity to live out the rest of her days, but in that one fleeting moment when she had selflessly given it all up for Leon, she felt relieved. All of the games, the lying, the cheating, the killing that left her unfazed and eager for more. All of it had finally been over. And it felt so good. To know she didn't have to try so hard any more…that she could leave this planet knowing she could make it out doing something right. That it was all worth it.
Unfortunately, she was never allowed the luxury.
I was still the job. Still a puppet flailing against it's strings helplessly trying to free itself from it's master's steady hand.
Looking up at the mirror before her, she saw a slight flash of anger cross over dark emerald hues.
She knew what it was like to be on the receiving end of all the manipulation and backstabbing associated with her line of work, but it didn't leave her any less frustrated. They had kept her alive. They had made sure she finished the job before ever considering letting herself go.
And they had got what they wanted. Their precious G virus and a skilled agent on speed dial.
"But what did I get exactly?" Her raspy voice growled defiantly, her eyes narrowing.
A souvenir.
With delicate hands, the woman slowly pulled her dressings above her head and free from her body. Tossing the garment to the floor where it lay resting at her bare feet. Her naval now exposed, her eyes found themselves resting on a long haggard abrasion that ran the length of her right side, a more profound line resting on top, a deep scar slowly healing itself.
A gift for a conflicted soul. A reminder of just how unfortunate and wasteful her life had been.
The incident in Raccoon had not only left it's mark on her once carefully sculpted physique but on her own motivations as well.
The woman standing in front of the mirror used to be driven by greed and power. She used to never feel remorse nor guilt. She was cold, emotionless, she got the job done.
But staring back at her now was someone she did not know.
She dropped her gaze, suddenly self conscious of the way her eyes had begun to swim. It was a weak and passive emotion, one that she would not have accepted otherwise.
Truth was, Raccoon had changed her. She had learned to rely on someone else rather than herself. She had learned that she wasn't as in control as she once thought. She had learned to love…
Startled by the sudden accompaniment of wet tears streaming down her cheek, she wrapped her arms around her waist, hugging herself close in comfort.
I had died down there. Trapped forever with the creations of people like me. People who fought for themselves, people without a care in the world. A victim of my own arrogance.
The woman who did come out of that wreckage wasn't me. She was born from it all. A product of him. Rising from the ashes to meet the maker.
She couldn't stop.
It's over. All of it. Everything is different and I can't…I can't…I have to let it go.
…
I have to.
"I'm not Ada Wong anymore…" She whispered in finality to the mirror.
Choking back a sob, she brought a shaky hand to her ab, touching the place where the Tyrant had punished her.
"This is Ada's scar, not mine."
And the tears were free flowing now, betraying her every insecurity. Engulfing her in helplessness as she willed herself to stop.
She had been given new meaning, a new purpose.
He had saved her.
With a shuddering gasp, she fell against the mirror, sliding down along it's surface, laying to rest against it. Her knees tucked against her chest, her arms draped around them, her head pressed against the cold glass; a caricature of vulnerability.
He made me feel human. I meant something, I was worth protecting, worth risking your life for. Through all the tales I told, through all the times I tried to play him along with my casual flirtation, all the times I ran from him never stopping to consider his feelings…he still bothered to care. No matter how hard I tried…he wouldn't let me shake him off. He could see through me. See through it all. All the stupid defenses I put up, everything. In the end he broke me…built me back up, made me stronger, but in the end that much weaker.
I'm nothing but the job.
Nothing but a heartless bitch.
But not anymore.
With a heavy sigh, she wiped her face with the back of her hand. She felt drained, and very much exhausted. She couldn't recall the last time she let her emotions overtake her like this…
I suppose this is the final testament to the new me…
The last goodbye.
Picking herself up carefully from the floor, she turned to face herself once more in the reflection of the grand mirror.
She was nearly unrecognizable. Her eyes were puffy and her cheeks were sodden with heavy streaks, her black hair sticking to the sides of her face where it had caught the tears.
And she couldn't help but smile.
Her reflection never once hesitating to return the gesture.
He was right…
There was a real person under there all along.
And she was worth saving.
Her new mission was drawing ever closer, but when it would finally reach her, she would be ready.
She was no longer Ada Wong. She was something more.
She had been given another chance, a new life.
And she would return it in kind. This, she vowed.
For as long as she waits, waits for the opportunity of redemption, she will protect him. She will save him.
There was no going back. Never again would she be the same.
When the robin makes his nest...
And with that, Ada Wong looked away from her reflection, covering her scar with the abandoned garment, as she left herself behind.
Never looking back.
Ah, a shorty.
Not sure how I feel about this chapter. My prose is too hazy for my liking.
Just thought I'd at least do something to get this story rolling.
Hate it? Actually like it? (Your nose has grown quite large, mind you.) Lemme know.
If you're at all interested in this story, I suggest Story Alert. Who knows when I'll pump out the next chapter.