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CHAPTER II: The Book
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"GEEEET UUUUP, LAAAAVIIII!!!" someone yelled and smacked him across the head with a pillow.
At first Lavi thought it was Kanda, his friend, but the person who had spoken had a too cute and mild voice to be Kanda. He looked up and saw Allen standing there with a pillow in his hands, looking down at him. He decided to ignore that and buried his head under his pillow. Allen dragged the pillow off his head, the sheets off his body, and then he pushed him out of his bed. Lavi hit the cold floor with a thump.
"Dammit, Allen," he complained and sat up. "That hurt like hell."
"Hey, don't say things like that," Allen said sternly. "We'll start with the easiest; getting you to stop swearing. Get dressed, I made you breakfast."
Lavi got up, but only to lie down on his bed again. He didn't have to listen to a stupid boy he hadn't met before yesterday, especially not in his own home. He soon fell asleep again, but after what only seemed like seconds he was hit across the head again.
"Lavi, get up," Allen said and dragged his arm. "We need to find out how to fix your life."
"Let go," Lavi yelled into the pillow. "I don't wanna fix my life today…"
Allen let go and sighed. This mission sure was a pain. But then again, all of his missions started like this. He went back to the kitchen, got a cup and filled it with ice cold water. Then he went back to Lavi's bed and poured the water over the red head. Lavi screamed and sat up.
"What the hell?" he yelled.
"Good, you're up," Allen said and smiled. "Get dressed then."
He marched out of the bedroom, leaving Lavi to get dressed. Lavi hoped for the Exorcist's sake that angels couldn't die if someone cut their head off, because he was so close to get a knife from the kitchen and do that to a certain white haired moron.
When Lavi sat down by the table he slammed his head in it, wanting to sleep again.
"Here, Lavi," Allen said and put a plate in front of him. "Eat some toast."
Lavi grunted in respond, but decided to eat it after all. Then he noticed something weird about the toast. He figured it was probably because someone else than him who had made it, but he noticed what it was after a little while; Allen had put ham in it. Lavi got up and ran to the bathroom.
"Oh riiiight," Allen said from the kitchen. "You're a vegetarian. Sorry, I forgot."
"You are trying to poison me!" Lavi yelled from the bathroom.
"No, I'm not," the white haired said and pouted. "I would never purposely kill someone."
"Maybe not purposely…," Lavi muttered when he got back to the kitchen. "I'll make my own breakfast, okay?"
"Sure thing," Allen said and went back to the living room, bringing the toast Lavi didn't want with him.
He decided to watch TV while he ate. There weren't exactly TVs in Heaven or anything so he watched it as much as possible when he was on a mission. He loved cartoons more than anything; those animals sure were funny.
"Hey, Lavi," he yelled. "I see why people eat stuff like this."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Lavi said when he sat down next to him. "They only serve bird in Heaven?"
"Haha, aren't you funny?" Allen said sarcastic. "Actually they don't serve anything in Heaven at all. Angels don't eat or sleep or anything like that."
"Then why are you eating that?" Lavi asked and pointed at Allen's toast.
Allen shrugged and said, "I like eating."
Lavi rolled his eyes. Having to share his apartment with another person sure was annoying. Great, he started sounding like Kanda now…
"All right, let's start," Allen said after he had finished his toast and turned to face Lavi.
Lavi stared at him.
"Uhh… start what?" he asked.
"Just sit still and look at me," Allen said.
Lavi did as he was told. The angel got a quill from his pocket and poked Lavi's hand with it.
"Ouch," Lavi said and rubbed his now bleeding hand. "What was that for?"
Allen didn't answer. Instead he opened a huge book he had put on the table without Lavi noticing. Being as curious as he was, Lavi peeked over at the book to read it. There were only a bunch of names on each page. When Allen got to the right page he wrote down Lavi's name with the bloodstained quill.
"Almost done," the angel said, mostly to himself.
Suddenly all of the names disappeared and a lot of new text showed up instead.
"There we go," Allen said. When he saw Lavi's questioning look he added, "This book contains your life now. Everything written in red, your blood, is the bad things you've done. Everything written in black, ink, is the good things you've done. Before you turned eight almost everything was black. Now…"
He showed a few pages to Lavi. Almost everything was red. He knew he wasn't the nicest person in the world, but he really had no idea he was that bad.
"So?" he asked. "Why should I care? I don't care if I go to Hell."
"You don't understand," Allen explained and put the book down. "I'm not helping you so that you won't go to help, but so that your life will get better now. So let's start by finding out the most horrible things you've done."
"I killed my Mum's stupid pet," Lavi said and smirked. "That was fun."
Allen hit him over the head with the book.
"Killing is not fun," he said sternly. "It's horrible!"
"Whatever," Lavi said and shrugged. "How about… I beat up that guy so bad he had to be in the hospital for two months?"
"Yes, that was very horrible," Allen agreed and nodded. "And how about when you drowned a cat because it scratched you when you were in a bad mood?"
"Okay, that was an accident," Lavi protested. "I didn't mean to drown it. Besides, I thought cats could swim…"
"I know, I know," Allen said and flipped over to the next page in the book. "Ah, here's the reason you got so pissed that day. Your father had brought his new lover home the week before. What was his name again? Ah, Tyki Mikk! And Tyki-"
"SHUT UP!" Lavi yelled and got to his feet.
The sudden outburst had startled Allen a bit, thus he kept quiet.
"You have no right spying on me, angel or not," Lavi said, shaking with fury. "And no one is allowed to talk about that bastard Tyki or my Dad, at least not what they got to do with me. Got it?"
Allen stared at him, still a bit shocked and nodded slowly. Lavi went into his bedroom and slammed the door shut. Allen stared at his lap, guilt welling up inside of him. He hadn't meant to make the red haired feel so bad, he really hadn't. Though, Allen should have understood that memory was a very bad one.
Six years ago, when Lavi was twelve, his father had gotten yet another lover. His parents had never really liked each other so they didn't live together either. His father, Marian Cross, had a thing with getting drunk and bringing home strangers, not caring about what that did to Lavi at all. Anyways, one particular night he had brought a man named Tyki Mikk home, a Portuguese model he had met at a bar. They had both been drunk and Tyki was apparently a man who liked pleasure and sure didn't care about anyone's age or gender. Lavi had ended up being raped by the man after Cross had passed out on the couch.
Allen sighed. He had been very mean to Lavi, bringing that up again. But Lavi had always refused to see a psychologist, no matter how many times Kanda and Bookman, a man Lavi actually liked, told him to. Lavi needed to talk about his problems, or Allen wouldn't be able to help him at all. The angel hit his head on the table. This mission was going to take forever…
After about five minutes Allen got tired of waiting for Lavi to come out of his room, so he went over to Lavi's room. He knocked on the door.
"Lavi?" he asked.
"Go away," Lavi said.
"I'm really sorry, but-"
"Go away!" Lavi said again, but this time he was much angrier. "I don't need your help. Just leave."
Allen sat down in front of the door and leaned against it. Why did this part always take so long on his missions? It was very tiring…
After another ten minutes the white haired got very bored and decided to open the door to Lavi's room. Lavi was lying on his bed, his sheets over his head. Allen went over to the bed and sat down next to it. He slowly pulled the sheets away from Lavi's head and stroked his bright red hair with his other hand. Was Lavi crying?
"Lavi, are you all right?" Allen asked.
"No…," Lavi said. "I met you! I hate you!"
"You know, hate is a sin," Allen said.
"Like I care!" Lavi yelled. "I don't even believe in God dammit."
"But you still believe I'm an angel though!?" Allen said and raised an eye brow.
"… I'm hallucinating," Lavi said. "That's what happens when people do crack, you stinking asshole."
Allen groaned. He really hated this part of his job. He moved closer to the older teen and put his arm around him.
"Lavi, we don't have to talk about those things yet, not if you don't want to," he said while he kept stroking the redhead's hair. "But sometime we can, right?"
Lavi was quiet for a while before he responded.
"'Kay," he said.
"All right, good," Allen said and got up. "I'll be out in the living room."
"So you can read about my fucked up life?" Lavi asked and stared after him.
Allen just smiled at him. Yes, Lavi was pretty sure that was what Allen was about to do…
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An hour later Lavi decided to leave his room. He saw Allen sitting on the couch reading the strange book he had. He was eating some spring rolls he had probably found in the fridge. Lavi leaned over the couch to see what Allen was reading. Allen turned his head to look up at him.
"Hello," he said. "How are you?"
"I'm fine," Lavi said and smiled. "So… how do you intend to fix my life then?"
"Well," Allen said and put the book and the now empty plate on the table. "I've read the entire book three times. But," he said as he got up, "I think I should see what you're like as a person. It's very hard to analyse a person just by reading his life. So we should get out and do whatever you usually do, and then we'll write that in the Book as well."
"Right," Lavi said. "Wait, you've written the entire thing?"
He pointed at the book Allen had.
"No, silly," the angel said and shook his head. "It writes itself. Only your profile and stuff will have to be written down. Look at this."
He picked up the book and flipped through the pages until he got to the last one. He showed it to Lavi. The writing on the top of the page said NOTES.
"This is where I'll write down what I learn about you," he said and closed the book again.
"Right," Lavi said again. "Just wondering; how will you know if I'm faking it when I'm with you or not?"
"Oh, that's easy," Allen said and crossed his legs. "I can be invisible and erase myself from your memory. It's only temporary, but you get the idea."
"Of course," Lavi said and dumped himself on the couch. "Naturally you can do that."
"You really have a problem trusting people," Allen said.
"How did you know; you read about a sin I did when I was seven or something?"
"Actually you were thirteen."
Lavi stared at him and said, "you're enjoying this, aren't you!?"
"A little," Allen said and hugged his knees.
Lavi rolled his eyes.
"All right, let's go," the angel said and got up.
He grabbed the redhead's arm and dragged him outside.
"All right, do whatever you usually do and just don't think about me," he said.
"How the hell can I think about you when you're gonna erase yourself from my memory?" Lavi asked and raised an eyebrow.
"Who cares!?" Allen said. "Now, do something!"
Lavi rolled his eyes again and went down the stairs. Suddenly he got the feeling he had forgotten something or someone, but he didn't care. He decided to go bother Kanda like he always did when was bored. He knew it'd take him over ten minutes to get to Kanda's house, which meant he'd be bored for ten minutes. He sighed and pulled a pack of cigarettes and lit one of them with his lighter. He knew smoking was a bad habit, but he didn't really care; it kept his nerves calm.
He got to Kanda's house and knocked on the door. Kanda usually took very long time opening as he didn't want to talk to Lavi whatsoever, but this time he actually didn't hesitate to open. He opened, saw Lavi standing there and che-ed like he often did. He pulled the cigarettes from Lavi's mouth.
"You know, this will kill you someday," he said, sounding pissed like always.
"I thought you wanted me dead, Yuu-chan!?" Lavi said and grinned.
"I want to kill you myself," the black haired said. "What are you doing here anyways?"
"I'm gonna spend time with yoooouuuu!" the red haired yelled happily and hugged the other.
"… che," Kanda said, but he didn't try and get his friend off as that was pretty much an impossible task.
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"Would you get off me?" Kanda said bored for about the thirtieth time that day.
"Never," Lavi said and smiled.
He liked hugging Kanda, mostly because it annoyed the Japanese boy. Something else that annoyed Kanda was being dragged off to a bar by some annoying rabbit only to see said rabbit get slightly drunk and even more annoying. So naturally, that was exactly what Lavi had done when he got bored in Kanda's house.
Kanda had to get Lavi home later that evening since he was pretty sure the idiot would somehow get killed if he went home by himself, and Kanda wanted the pleasure of killing him himself. He was just waiting for the right time and place.
After Kanda had left Allen decided to stop being invisible and to exist in Lavi's memory again. He went over to the sleeping teen and poked him. When he didn't wake up Allen pouted and poked him again. And again. And again!
"Allen?" Lavi said sleepily when he woke up. "Oh my fucking God, my head hurts…"
He pulled a blanket over his head to prevent the sun from getting in his eyes. Allen couldn't help but grin; Lavi did deserve that pain actually. He sat down on the couch next to Lavi and brought the book to his lap. He had found out a big deal about Lavi that day and decided to write everything down.
"So…," Lavi said, still under the blanket. "What did you find out?"
"Let's see," Allen said. "You're annoying, unhealthy, doing a few sorts of drugs, drinking too much, pretty much killing your own brain, killing others with second hand smoke, pathetic, arrogant, ignorant, selfish-"
"Okay, you can stop now," Lavi said irritated.
"You get irritated very easily," Allen continued, smirking.
"I do not!" Lavi almost yelled.
"You can't control your temper."
"… You really are enjoying this…"
"Hey, this job is boring, you know!? I need something to make it fun."
Allen closed the book.
"All right, now we can really start this thing," he said happily before going to the kitchen.
Lavi looked after him.
"Okay, two things," he said. "One; are we gonna start in the kitchen? Two; what do you mean we're starting now? I thought we started this morning!?"
Allen came back carrying three bags of chips and two chocolates.
"One; nah, I just felt like eating chocolate," he answered. "And two; yes, we're starting now. This day has been a day with me analysing you and finding out how to make sure you can change and die a happy death instead of the worst you could possibly think of."
"Geez, yeah, thinking about my death will make me feel muuuuch better," Lavi groaned into the pillow.
Allen chuckled and sat down next to him again and started playing with his hair.
"No worries, you won't die yet," he said.
"Oh? You're a guarding angel too?" Lavi asked and looked up at him.
"Well… no, but I assume you won't," the angel said and shrugged.
Lavi groaned again, but stayed quiet. His head was hurting a lot because of whatever he had been drinking. He looked up at Allen who was eating chocolate and chips… at the same time. That looked disgusting…
"Hey, Allen?" he asked. "How come angels don't normally eat or sleep?"
"Well," Allen said as he put an empty chips bag down. "We can't die so we don't need to. It's really convenient, but it gets a bit boring, which is why I decide to eat anyways. It's fun!"
Lavi looked at him. Eating wasn't exactly what he would categorise as fun, but he didn't say anything, just let Allen eat chocolate since it apparently was one of his favourite hobbies. After he was done, Allen got up to throw the empty bags and the chocolate paper in the bin.
"Right," he said when he got back. "I think you need some sleep."
"Please don't move me," Lavi said into the pillow.
"All right, I'll take your bed then," the white haired almost sang and went into Lavi's bedroom.
Lavi sighed. He was losing it, he really was…
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A/N:Okay, I know this was probably just very boring and stupid chapter… But I'll need some of these things later and… well...