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CHAPTER V: Allen's Past

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Allen hadn't slept the entire night. He had stayed up reading the Book over and over, trying to figure out how and why it had been fooled so easily. It was supposed to be somewhat holy and given to an Exorcist by God, so for a normal human to mess with it like that, not even knowing they did it, should be impossible. So far the angel hadn't gotten any clues of how it had happened. The only thing he had found out was that Lavi had watched him take a shower once…

Allen had never heard of an Exorcist getting a client they couldn't use the Book to figure out how to help them, and he had certainly never had one himself. The Book had always been so very useful, like the Bible was to Christians. Now that he apparently couldn't use it he didn't really know what to do about Lavi.

The white haired groaned and put the Book down on the table again.

"Why did this happen to you?" he asked it, but as expected he didn't get an answer.

He sighed and got up. Now he had to start over again, and he doubted he'd get time to do fun things like going to school and learn math anymore. He frowned; he had looked forward to learn all those things, he really had. He went into the kitchen to make something he called Strawberry-Lemon-Sardine-Ice Cream. No, he wasn't very well at making up names, and yes, that does sound very disgusting.

"What're you doing?" Lavi asked behind him, startling the shorter.

"Stop startling me like that," Allen said and pouted. "And I'm making ice cream. You want some?"

"Hell no," Lavi said and sat down at the kitchen desk. "It smells horrible."

"I wish you could stop cursing like that. It sounds so horrible," Allen said and frowned a bit.

Lavi shrugged and opened the refrigerator with his foot and pulled out a bottle of Coke. Allen couldn't help but stare at him; how on Earth was he supposed to help him? Especially when he didn't really know who he was. This mission would take so much longer than his others…

"You want me to teach you math again?" Lavi asked after a little while.

"Really?" Allen asked a bit shocked. "You want to teach me?"

"Nah, just saying it's too bad if you want me to, 'cause I refuse," Lavi said and smirked a little. "Don't care if you're an angel or not; not gonna help you."

Said angel looked at the redhead for a moment before he smiled a little sad smile.

"Is this Lavi or Deak talking?" he asked.

Lavi's eye widened and he looked at Allen. He opened his mouth to say something, but the words didn't get out.

"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked when he remembered how to use his voice.

"Oh, I think you know," Allen said while he poured some red soda on his ice cream. "Deak was your brother, right? Heh, I must admit you're a pretty amazing person as you managed to fool the Book. It's almost useless now, you know!?"

"Why's that?"

"Because of your split personality the Book has recorded things about both of your personalities. I don't what things you have done and what things Deak has done."

"Right…"

The angel looked at him again.

"You don't seem angry or sad that I'm talking about this!?" he asked and tilted his head a bit. "You're not even in denial."

Lavi sighed and pulled his legs up to the desk so he could hug his knees. He did look somewhat sad actually, but what surprised the Exorcist was that he didn't look a bit angry.

"I'm not in denial 'cause I know about it," he explained. "So technically I don't have a split personality. I chose to live a life for both Deak and me, but I found Deak's life easier and eventually forgot about myself. Besides, he always meant more to me than I did. I'm only me around Yuu-chan and the Panda."

"Oww, that is so sad," Allen said and hugged Lavi.

"… get off," Lavi said and tried to push the shorter one off him.

"Never," Allen said. "You're in pain; you need a hug."

"Okay, now I know what it's like to be Yuu-chan," Lavi said and finally succeeded in getting the angel off. "Stop changing moods like that, it's creepy."

Allen pouted a bit, but didn't try to hug the taller one again.

"Okay, we have to start over again," Allen said. "The Book can't help us now, so we need to find another way to-"

Suddenly Allen got an idea. He knew how he could fix the Book!

"Lavi, stop acting like Deak," he said.

"What?" Lavi asked, not understanding anything that was going on anymore. "Why?"

"Because, idiot," Allen explained as he picked up his ice cream and sat himself on the desk Lavi was sitting on. "Then it'll only be one personality for the Book to focus on. All right?"

Lavi sat in silence for a moment before saying a fast, "No!"

The angel looked up at him in annoyance. He had had a feeling that the redhead wouldn't be willing to do that easily, but the answer had still annoyed him.

"I can't do that," Lavi continued. "I promised Deak."

He looked at the floor, sadness all over his face. It upset Allen a bit to see him this sad, just like it had done with all of his other clients. Still, this made him even sadder as something about the loss of one's brother was more depressing than other things Allen had dealt with.

"I see," Allen said slowly and sighed. "All right, I'll think of another way to help you then."

The angel jumped off the counter and went out of the kitchen, leaving Lavi alone. Lavi had always known that a part of him wasn't really him, but just the thought of giving up that part made him feel empty. It didn't really help when someone told him to give it up either. That actually made him sort of pissed, and it wasn't like Allen knew anything about how he felt either.

He got up, put the empty Coke bottle in the bin and went out in the small living room where Allen sat and ate his ice cream.

"You have no right to ask me to give anything up," he said coldly.

Allen didn't turn around to face him; he just sat there and watched some anime on the TV.

"Why not?" he asked.

"Because you don't know anything about me, okay?" Lavi said, still cold. "You didn't lose your brother when you were a kid, did you?"

"True, I didn't," Allen answered, his voice empty. "But that doesn't mean I don't know what it's like to lose someone I care about."

"Yeah right," Lavi said, not believing him. "You're an angel; horrible things don't happen to you."

Now Allen turned to face the redhead, his expression mixed of anger and sadness.

"For your information, angels do have feelings, and we do experience some sort of pain sometimes, all right?" he said, his voice sounding a little hurt. "I lost my father."

Lavi blinked. Had Allen's father died? But since Allen was an angel, didn't that mean that his father had been one too? And angels couldn't die, so… Lavi was majorly confused.

"No, he's not dead," the white haired, as if he had read Lavi's thoughts. "He used to be an angel as well. He wasn't really my father, but he sort of adopted me and I called him my father. He was also an Exorcist actually, and the one who taught me how to use the Book and such."

Lavi sat down on the couch next to him, not feeling angry at all anymore. He was pretty interested in what Allen told, mainly because it wasn't everyday an angel told you about his past.

"Angels, especially Exorcists, often meet humans and talk to them," Allen continued. "But they are not allowed to have any strong feelings for anyone. If they did they wouldn't be allowed back home and they would be forced to walk the Earth, living like humans. My father fell in love and decided to stay on Earth rather than coming back home. Once an angel does that they're not allowed to talk with other angels again. Unfortunately my father's love died after a few weeks, due to a decided that couldn't get cured. Knowing this he still wanted to stay on Earth…"

He buried his face in his arms he had around his knees, stifling a sniff. He had missed his father so much, but couldn't meet him again. Lavi actually felt a little guilty and sad by Allen's story.

"I was chosen to take his place as an Exorcist," Allen continued, his voice muffled by his arms. "I got his title too; the Walker. It used to be Mana, the Walker, but now it's Allen…"

Lavi didn't really know what to do as he wasn't the one to be good at comforting others. Still, he placed his arm around Allen's shoulders, hoping he could relax the angel a little. Allen leaned closer to Lavi, resting his head on his shoulder. He smelled really nice actually.

"So don't you say I don't know what it's like to lose someone," Allen said. "I haven't seen my father in twenty-five years. That's really long actually…"

"Yeah, I guess," Lavi said. "How old are you anyways?"

"I'm hundred-and-fifty-six," Allen answered and looked up at the red haired teen. "That's around fifteen in human years."

Allen was really that old!? He didn't look old at all. He was small, cute, adorable- Lavi stopped his mind from going any further. He did not like the angle at all after all. He was annoying, stupid, lonely, sad- Lavi mentally slapped himself for thinking like that; he did not feel sorry for Allen. At all…

"But let's not care about that," Allen said and sat up straight. "We're supposed to fix your life after all, and I still don't know how to do that."

Lavi looked at him. He felt really guilty now, especially considering that Allen spent time fixing his life while it seemed like no one tried to help him back. Lavi had really started to think that the angel was in fact too nice for his own good.

The redhead got up. He needed to think about things so he went outside, not bothering to answer Allen where he was going when asked. There was a place he always went to when he had to think and that was exactly where he was heading now; Deak's grave.

There were three people who could get him to act like himself in the world; Bookman, Kanda and Deak, even though the last one was dead. Being at Deak's grave made him believe he didn't really have to live his brother's life as said brother was sort of there with him then.

It didn't take Lavi more than ten minutes to get to the graveyard. He walked passed the many tombstones, knowing the way to Deak's by heart as he had been there countless of times. He sat down in front of it, staring at the name. He felt as peace then and his mind cleared up.

He told Deak everything that happened to him. It was much like what people did with diaries, only that Lavi couldn't read his again. Then again, he remembered everything anyways and didn't have to write it down.

"You know, Deak," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "I know I promised to live your life for you. But… would you be pissed if I just… didn't do that for a while? You know the angel I told you about? He says I can only get rid of my sins if I'm just one person. Well, that actually does make sense… So, the faster I fix that, the faster I can get rid of him."

He smiled, knowing Deak would understand that.

"Heh, I've actually managed to lie to an angel and a religion. I mean, I don't have a split personality, but still I fooled Allen to believe that. Heck, I don't even do drugs… anymore. Dunno why I kept it after I quit… Well, I'll just act like myself for a little while and then I'll go back to being both of us, okay? Oh, and guess what!? Yuu-chan and I-"

He sat like that talking to his deceased brother for about an hour. It always felt so nice to do that, and it was always like Deak could actually hear him and answer. It was probably just a twin-like feeling though.

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When Lavi entered his apartment his mouth went wide open and his eye widened. The entire place looked like it had before Allen had come, only even worse. About everything in the living room had somehow ended up on the floor, the table and the couch. The garbage bin from the kitchen had been scattered all over the floor.

"What the-?" he started, but was cut off as something flew by his ear.

He turned around to see what it was just as someone crashed into him. He fell and Allen, who was the person who ran into him, fell on top of him. The angel got to his feet as soon as he had hit the floor.

"I'm sorry, Lavi," he said fast before he decided to run after the flying thing again. "But I really need to catch this thing."

Lavi slowly rose and saw the flying thing fly over his head. It flew really fast, but he managed to see a long tail on a tiny yellowish body. What the heck was that thing?

"What is that?" Lavi asked Allen, who was still trying to catch it. "And aren't you breaking one of the commandments by ruining my apartment?"

"First of all," Allen said, jumping over the couch in an attempt to catch the yellow thing. "You know the Ten Commandments now; good boy! Second; I'll clean up later, I promise. And third; this is a Golem."

"Oh yeah, a Golem," Lavi said a bit sarcastic. "Yeah, I could really need some more strange creatures in my home."

Allen caught the small ball and turned to face the redhead, panting.

"His name is Timcanpy," Allen explained, ignoring Lavi's sarcasm. "He's a Golem, or a messenger for angels. Isn't he cute!?"

He held it up to Lavi's face. Timcanpy was a yellow ball with two wings, a tail and… teeth… Of course, that explained so much. Lavi was really about to lose it…

"Uhh, sure," he said. "Cute… But if he's yours, how come you had to catch him?"

Allen shrugged and said, "He likes playing tag."

"Okay, makes sense I guess," the redhead said as he sat down on the couch after throwing all the things on it to the floor. "So what's the message?"

"Hm?" Allen said, not really paying attention as he was stroking Timcanpy. "Oh, he doesn't have a message. He just missed me. Who knows, maybe he'll be able to help me help you."

"Great, a little ball's better at fixing my life than I am…," Lavi muttered annoyed. "Hey, would it help if I wasn't acting like Deak?"

"I guess so," Allen said and sat down next to him, still petting the ball. "But isn't your mind sort of screwed up so much you won't be able to change? You know, you're so messed up you'll feel like you're mean towards your dead brother if you're not living his life as well?"

"Geez, thanks for making me feel better," Lavi answered sarcastic. "Fine, if you don't want me to change."

"No-no, I didn't mean that," Allen said fast and smiled. "I think it'd help if you changed from Deak and yourself to just you."

"Good!" Lavi said and put his hands behind his head. "The sooner I change, the sooner you leave."

Allen pouted at that comment, but he soon smiled when Timcanpy pulled on his hair, telling him to clean up the mess they had made. The angel got to his feet and started putting the books back in the shelves. Lavi decided to help him, figuring he could be a little helpful.

"You don't have to help me," Allen said.

"I know," Lavi said and smiled. "But I can, right!?"

Allen smiled back at him.

"Oh, by the way," he said as he remembered something.

"Mh?" Lavi said.

"Lust is a sin," Allen continued and looked at the taller teen, a devilish smile on his face. "So don't watch me take a shower again."

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A/N: Help, I 'm getting writer's block! Well, at least it'll be better kater, I promise.

Okay, not a quick update, sorry. But I have to work to get money for UppCon in January, and I have to make the costumes too. That takes time, really sorry about that. But I'll try to update quicker. And are Lavi and Allen starting to get along? Ooooh, maybe they are!

And yes, this chapter does suck… big time… But this isn't really the main thing of the story. At least it's not the part I like the most, so it sucks. Sorry… Hope you enjoyed this anyways though.