Breakdown

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Chapter 2 - Coming Together

I won't beg.

I won't...

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There is no sense of movement. One moment I'm on his lap, curled against his stone cold chest, and the next I'm on the bed, Edward above me, his eyes burning into mine. His movements are so fast, so fluid, that my mind never has a chance to absorb the action.

The air around my damp skin is warm, but the coolness radiating from his body is what sends a shiver of pleasure down my spine. My heart begins to hammer erratically in my chest, and I forget to feel anything except this. I ache to pull him down to me, but this is unknown territory and I feel paralyzed. I close my eyes, wondering when I'm going to wake up because there is no way this can be real.

Slowly, Edward covers my body with his, keeping most of his weight balanced on one arm. With the other he cups my face, his thumb moving gently over my cheek and across my bottom lip. I gasp as his cold touch glides over my mouth, and my eyelids compress tighter down. I forget how to breathe.

"Open your eyes, Bella." His voice is velvet smooth, his tone so commanding that I instantly do as he asks.

"I want you. Let me love you, let me show you all the things I can't find words for."

My insane emotions finally begin to melt into one desire. Carefully, I raise my hand and touch his face as lightly as he now touches mine. I need him so much, and all I want is to nod, to say yes, but we've made promises and agreements that I'm not sure we should break.

He easily reads my expression and turns his head to kiss my palm, sending electric darts of sensation racing over my entire body.

"Don't worry, we won't…I won't, let things get too carried away." He makes a frustrated sound in the back of his throat and shakes his head. Pressing his face tight against my wrist, he shuts his eyes with a deep sigh.

I can literally feel his internal struggle in the tension of his body.

After a long minute, he raises his head and looks at me, his expression less intense, as though he's won whatever inner battle he was fighting. "I won't hurt you, Bella, don't be afraid. Let me touch you; let me show you how much I need you. How much I long to please you."

My heart literally seems to stop beating. One missed beat, two. It flutters against my chest hard and frantic before finally resuming some kind of rhythm, though it's too fast to be normal. I know he's watching my face carefully, trying to read my thoughts, just like I know he is listening to every stuttering, racing beat of my heart. I know he is waiting, that he will not make a move without my permission, and I breathe him in deeply, exhaling with a soft whimper of pure need. His name is only a whisper, but he hears me.

"Edward…yes."

With a deep growl that sounds dangerously like an expression of his need, he captures my mouth in a searing kiss. My lips seem to melt against the hardness of his. I cry out softly as he rolls to his side, taking me with him, pulling me completely flush against his body.

I lose track of time and reality as he kisses me again and again until the room seems to spin around us.

He pulls away slightly, cool lips moving to brush soft kisses over my cheek, his tone of voice a barely restrained growl as he whispers, "Breathe, Bella."

Down my jaw line his mouth moves, while one hand weaves into the damp, tangled strands of my hair, easily tugging my head back so he can reach my neck. I feel him lick the pulse point that spasms just under my ear, and we both groan at the same time.

My hands reach erratically for the buttons on his shirt, but he moves faster than me. I hear the sound of fabric tearing only a millisecond before his bare skin connects with mine. The contact is more than electric, and we both freeze. My breasts are pressed tightly against him, and I feel my nipples tightening into tiny points. We are skin to skin for the first time. He groans again with a small shudder that sends darts of pure want racing around my stomach and down between my legs.

Despite the violence of his reaction, his hands never falter or change in speed or pressure. Carefully they glide over my back while his mouth resumes its exploration of my throat, the slight curve of my shoulder, the sharp angles of my collarbones. Slowly, oh, so slowly, his hand slides down my back to the slight indent at the base of my spine. Lower, until his splayed fingers cup the curve of my bottom before stroking upwards again to the slope of my hip, then down over my leg until he hooks his fingers behind my knee, drawing it up over his own. Higher still, until my thigh rests against his narrow waist. I cannot breathe.

Lips cold and smooth travel over the top of my chest, and I manage to draw in a quick gasp of air just before his mouth opens and his tongue flicks against the top of my right breast. His hand moves again, this time from just behind my knee in a backwards retracing of his previous path. Only now, when he reaches my hip, he moves up and over my ribs with a slowness that almost feels like torture. Moaning his name, I arch against his mouth, needing some kind of contact. He groans in response to my movement, and I grab handfuls of his hair, tugging hard, trying to get him closer. I don't know how he is holding on to his control; I only know mine is gone completely. I cry his name as his hand finally cups my breast, the sensation making me tremble against him.

All our previous attempts at this have not prepared me for the feeling of his hand on my bare flesh. The second his fingertips begin to tenderly caress my nipple, my entire back arches into the touch.

"Edward…oh, God…oh… please." I have no idea what I'm begging for, but the lines of my body are tightly drawn in this aching need that seems to want to devour me.

"Bella, you are so lovely, so perfect."

His words send me even higher, and my trembling becomes constant. Desperately trying to cling to my sanity, I move my hands in a traveling path over his chest, my breathing quick and unsteady along with my racing heart—down over the muscled ridges of his abdomen, the coolness of his skin teasing my fingertips. When my hands reach his belt buckle, I immediately begin to jerk it open. I pull the button free and reach for the zipper, but no sooner does my hand connect then I am suddenly on my back with both hands pulled above my head, my wrists pinned to the pillow.

Edward is once again above me, completely still except for the ragged rise and fall of his chest as his breath rasps noisily through his open mouth. His eyes are shut, his jaw so tightly clenched I fear it must be painful. I watch him swallow, the muscles of his throat completing the action with an almost violent spasm. He does it again and again, and I know that the venom must burn his throat as it makes its way down.

Unable to control my trembling, I try in vain to tug my hands free, wanting to soothe him somehow. The loss of his touch is painful.

Slowly his eyes open. His gaze rakes over my face then down my body, as if he needs to make sure that his momentary loss of control hasn't caused any damage. Finally, his gaze meets mine again as he groans.

Terrified that he will leave me now with my body tied in these agonizing knots, I whimper. "Edward, please, don't stop, I need you, don't leave me."

His nostrils flare and his eyes, already impossibly black, darken even further until I can no longer tell where his pupils end and his irises begin. He shakes his head, smiling slowly, a controlled yet dangerous edge to his expression. Lowering his head, he brushes my mouth with his, and I know he's drinking in my scent.

"You overestimate my strength, love, if you think I could leave you now." His gaze lowers, taking in my body stretched out beneath him. Slowly, he draws back until he is on his knees, and I'm pinned to the bed by nothing more than the expression on his face. Sitting back on his heels, he carefully reaches down and pulls his belt free, tossing it to the side of the bed. The sound of his zipper seems loud in the silence that is broken only by the puffing of my unsteady breathing.

My weak human perceptions barely recognize the blur of movement that momentarily takes him away from me. He is back before I've even blinked, naked except for dark colored boxer briefs slung low on his hips. His very obvious arousal strains against the thin cotton, and he watches my expression warily as I take in the sight of him. To say he is beautiful would be the understatement of my lifetime, but no other descriptive word even comes close. I ache to touch him, though I keep my hands to myself, too afraid of making any movement that might shatter his control and end this.

He curves his palms around my waist and lifts me onto his lap, my thighs opening automatically to straddle his hips. The core of my heat presses with intimate intensity onto the rigid slope of his erection, and I gasp and shudder almost totally undone by the contact. My entire body is on overload, and I can't help but rock my hips forward, the motion creating the sweetest friction. The effect is unlike anything I've felt, sending shivers over my skin and igniting the sweetest ache directly where we are pressed together. Before I can do it again, his hands grasp my hips and lock me in place with a hiss that is so erotic it sends an instant rush of heat and wetness to soak the thin layer of fabric between us.

Edward's moan is loud as he registers the sensation of the reaction I can't hide, and his lips press hard against mine in a kiss that is only barely restrained. Once again, he tangles the fingers of one hand into my hair, tugging my neck back until my whole body arches. His hips rise, pressing me harder against the cold rigidity that seems to pulse now against me.

His mouth moves to the hollow at the base of my throat, and the moist cool exhalation of his breath pours over my skin. The pleasure of that sensation seems to tear at me, and I tighten my thighs around his hips, frantically trying to press closer and ease my torment.

I am not prepared for this. Not even our most passionate petting sessions, nor any one of my own fumbling self-explorations, has taught me what my body is capable of. Now, hovering on the very edge, I want only to chase this feeling that has so long eluded me. Raw need makes me reckless, and I scrape my nails down the nape of his neck and across his shoulders.

"Edward," I moan loudly. It's a sob and plea all at once. Every emotion, all of my fears and doubts are being consumed by the fire that burns inside of me, and I can hardly stand it. "Please," I whimper beyond dignity beyond embarrassment. "I need…please."

"Yes, Bella," he growls, and then suddenly I am on my knees with him behind me. Once again, his actions are too fast for my weak human eyes. His hand grips my jaw, turning my face back over my shoulder, his mouth covering mine, swallowing my cry. He pulls me back tightly yet gently, and I can feel his erection, naked now, pressing against my spine. The cold touch of him is barely noticeable in the burning fires of my body. I want to turn around and see what I can feel, but he won't let me move.

"I love you," he says while his free hand strokes my breasts, caresses my nipples as I burn impossibly hotter.

"I will always love you." And his hand strokes down my belly and over my hips.

"I am yours, Bella." And the perfect touch of his hand moves lower still, until he cups me intimately in a move so hot and possessive I can't breathe.

"You are mine." He growls the words, and I see stars.

He shudders against me, his hips rock forward while his fingers part the tender, secret folds of my body's most private place, and suddenly we are rocking together. He enters me carefully with one wicked finger, then two, stretching tender flesh with a gentle touch so perfect I feel nothing except pleasure. I cry out and press against him, reaching up with one hand to cup the back of his head, wanting, needing, to keep him close. My other hand reaches down and covers his, barely able to believe he is really, finally, touching me.

I can feel the heat of my response through his hand, the wetness that coats his fingers. I'd be embarrassed if it didn't feel so good I'm beyond any form of shame.

Edward groans loudly at the contact of my palm, and he shudders even harder before pressing his face into the curve of my neck. His thumb moves to press lightly against my clit, and slowly he traces circles against it, over and over. Every nerve ending in my body comes alive, and my inner muscles clench down almost painfully tight around his fingers. I have never felt anything like this before, and I cannot stop the soft cries that tear from my throat. My hand leaves Edwards, and I reach back grasping his hip, needing to touch him, to anchor myself to him as I come apart. My other hand clenches tighter in the silk hair at his nape, nails scratching his diamond hard skin. His free arm encircles my waist, holding me to him, holding me up, keeping me still as the devastating touch of other hand speeds up.

For a second the pleasure is so intense that I'm afraid. Edward raises his head, sensing instantly that I'm holding back, fighting the feelings I've never experienced. I feel and taste the cool sweetness of his breath as he presses his mouth just below my ear.

"I will never leave you, Bella, never. Let go, love...come to me."

It's all I need, this last sweet reassurance, and I shatter into a million pieces. Waves of pleasure carry me away and sweep me back, pulsing over and over as Edward's arms keep me locked against him, the rhythm of his touch never faltering. I feel his body shudder one last time against mine, and the cool liquid proof that he finds his own pleasure, pulses against my back. I fall back against him, drained and spent.

We stay that way for what feels like a long time. My breathing finally slows, and Edward gently pulls away and lays me down on the bed on my side. The loss of contact makes me shiver.

"No," I whimper, but he presses a tender kiss to my cheek.

"It's okay, love; just one second."

It actually feels like less than that before he returns. He softly washes my back with a warm cloth before drying my skin just as gently. Slowly, he lays us down and tries to tuck the blankets around me. I push them away and he relents, allowing me to wrap my arms around him. He covers both of us with the blanket as I rest my cheek against his chest and drape my leg over his thigh. I cannot bear to lose this closeness with him now. Exhaustion is pulling at me and though I ache for sleep, I don't want this moment to end. My frustratingly human body, of course, could care less about what I want. I can feel myself slipping under. I cling tighter to Edward, fighting the urge.

He laughs softly and presses his lips to my forehead. "Sleep now, Bella, I'm here, love. I won't leave, sleep." He rubs my back, quietly humming my lullaby. For the first time in weeks I fall deeply, quickly asleep.

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