Barney stood facing the bar in his apartment, looking at the box that had been sitting there for 2 weeks. He hadn't opened it, he had just passed it on his way to work and back on his way to bed.
He had not called Robin since she left. Nor had he e-mailed her. And after his 24 hour break from awesome the day she left, in which he did nothing but lay in bed and watch her newscasts and music video over and over, he had not watched her on TV. He hadn't even turned on the TV, for fear of being tempted.
He didn't want to think about her. Barney was convinced that if he made out with enough women (he hadn't slept with anyone since she'd left) and spent as little time as possible thinking about her, he would be cured of these damned feelings and he could slide back into his previous life, his awesome life, his life the way it was before robin had cried on his shoulder and ruined everything.
Thus, the box had remained sitting in his apartment, untouched. Until now.
Flashback to earlier that night:
"So what did Robin leave for you guys?" Ted asked Lily and Marshall as they all sat around their booth at MacLaren's. "She just gave me mostly CDs and shirts and stuff she found at her place that were leftover from when we were dating," he commented, taking a sip of beer. Lily and Marshall smiled at one another, "Just little trinkets from her old apartment," Lily said. "Yeah, just a blanket that I had once said I really liked, a lampshade we bought together at a street sale, a bead curtain…" She trailed off, "Just… Stuff like that." She and Marshall kept smiling broadly at one another as Lily spoke.
"Um… You guys? What's the big secret?" Barney looked inquisitive. "Why are you being so mysterious about the stuff Robin gave you?" Lily looked from her husband to the guys seated at the table across from her and back to Marshall. They were both quiet for a moment, clearly having some sort of telepathic conversation, before Marshall nodded and turned to face Ted and Barney. "You guys," he said excitedly, grabbing Lily's hand, "We have an announcement to make."
Barney held out his hand to Ted. "$500, please. Pay up." Ted looked at him with eyes wide, "What? What are you talking about?" Barney dropped his hand on the bar and sighed, clearly frustrated. "Ted – I bet you Lily would get pregnant within the first two years of marriage. And I was, of course, right. I win. 500 bucks! Pay up!" He raised his hand back up and shoved it in Ted's face. "Gimme!"
Ted was about to reply in protest but Marshall cut him off. "Wait! You guys, Lily's not preg- " he broke off when a look of terror suddenly struck his face. He turned to look at his wife. "You're not, are you?" She shook her head hard, "No, no, no, no. NO!" Relief swept Marshall's face as he resumed his conversation. "Good. No. Lily's not pregnant. And we're going to ignore the fact that you guys are jerks and making bets on our children because this announcement is huge."
Ted and Barney, who had been exchanging angry looks, now gave Marshall their full attention. "What's up?"
"Well," Marshall said, building the anticipation as much as he could, "You guys know how we kinda got kicked out of the deal with our slanted apartment?" Barney nodded. "You mean how you almost got arrested for breaking into an apartment and getting it on on the kitchen floor? Yeah." He nodded in understanding, then raised his glass with a wink at Marshall. "Take it from me, if you're going to break into an apartment for sex, at least use the bed."
Marshall ignored him and continued, "Well, we still wanted our own place and we realized that we needed to find someplace cheaper, and I've never been completely sold on the idea of raising a kid in Manhattan," Lily grumbled something under her breath as Marshall continued, "So… When Robin gave us her box of stuff and we saw all these beautiful things she wanted us to use to decorate our new apartment, it reminded us of Robin's apartment…"
Barney sat up a little straighter, anticipating what was coming. "So… We bought Robin's old place!" Lily joined her husband for the announcement, both smiling at Ted and Barney in unison. "Wow! That's perfect!" Said Ted, proud of his roommates. "That's… Actually," realization dawning on him, "That's brilliant. Why didn't we think of that before?" "I know, right!" Marshall agreed, nodding fiercely. "It's perfect! We already know the neighborhood, it's in a nice area, it's not directly in the heart of the city so I feel like I can breath at least," he was cut off by his wife whose chipper voice added, "And you guys already know how to get there and visit there all the time, too, so it's perfect!"
Ted nodded in agreement. "Definitely! Oh, this is great you guys!" Lily and Marshall both smiled broadly. "We know! We started moving stuff today while you were at work, and we already put up the stuff Robin gave us – kind of a reminder of her, you know?" Lily added, glancing at Barney who was nodding along with Ted but directing his attention to his iPhone. "Do you guys wanna go see it? We've already figured out where everything's going to go – we can map it out for you!" Ted and Marshall stood up and finished their beers. "Sure! We can go to that bar Robin was always raving about – it was like, two blocks west of her apartment… Or was it east…" Ted furrowed his brow, trailing off.
"It's north, actually, but nice try, Ted," Barney said, putting his phone in his pocket and standing, "Uh, you guys, I'm not going to be able to make it tonight," he said and took a final swill of his martini. "Thanks for the invite, but I've got plans…" He quickly scanned the bar and nodded towards a blonde standing by the jukebox, "With that girl."
Lily sighed as Ted and Marshall walked to the door, "Barney, do you even know her?" He laughed and placed the glass carefully on the table. "No, but she's about to know me," he said, winking at Lily.
"Whatever," she said, walking towards the door. "But don't think you can use excuses like that every time we ask you to visit our place." She called back at him, knowingly. "Well, excuse me, but in my opinion, it's not your place, Lily," he responded angrily.
He waited for her to leave the bar before he ordered another drink from Carl, finished it alone at the bar, then made his way back home.
Flashback to the present:
So here he was, knife in hand, ready to slice open the packing tape and reach inside the box.
"Damn you, Scherbatsky," he said under his breath as he reached for the box. "It's just a box full of crap, why am I making this into such a big deal…" He sliced through the tape and pried open the two flaps on the top of the box, ripping the identifying 'B' scrawled across the top in half.
He held his breath as he peered into the box, then let it out slowly. He didn't know what he had expected, but he had obviously over-thought this whole thing. It was, as Ted and Lily had discovered with their boxes, just a box of old stuff one wouldn't really bring with them when moving to a new apartment. "New country," Barney corrected himself aloud, wincing.
He reached in and pulled out the first, most immediately appealing item, a bottle of scotch, mostly full. Barney couldn't tell if this was the same scotch she had offered him when he came over to play Battleship, but a glance at the year printed on the label told him it was good. "Very nice, Sparkles… Very nice," he muttered under his breath, placing the bottle carefully on the counter and removing the next few items.
A couple CDs, a few premium cigars, a few books he recognized from her coffee table that he had remarked "looked interesting," and a smaller, bright pink box covered in glitter. "What the hell?" Barney wondered aloud, pulling it out and using the attached key to open the heart-shaped lock. "Met you at the maaallll…." Sang an all-too familiar voice as he opened the box, which, it quickly became apparent, was a Robin Sparkles music box, complete with small dancing plastic Robin Sparkles figurine.
Barney laughed aloud for the first time since her departure, smiling broadly as he pulled out a "Welcome to the Robin Sparkles' Official Fan Club" letter, collection of jelly bracelets, temporary tattoos, and "Make it Sparkle" CD. "This is great, Scherbatsky," he said aloud again, reading a post-it note attached to the front of the CD that read, "I've been hanging onto this for years for no reason… Figured I'd give it to the only real Robin Sparkles fan still out there." He shook his head in astonishment as he carefully closed the box and placed it next to the growing pile on the counter. She had no idea how big of a fan…
A handful of crumpled laser tag coupons and a traveling size edition of Battleship later, Barney pulled the last thing out of the box – what appeared to be a folded sheet. "Wha-" he wondered aloud, grasping the ends and shaking it out. An envelope labeled "For Barney's Eyes Only" fell on the floor, and Barney discovered he was holding two pillow cases. He squinted and reached for the note pinned to one of the pillowcase that read, "I remember you said you liked the pillowcases. And I'm buying new sheets in Japan and didn't want to throw this away, so I thought you could stock up for the day that you do meet a woman you want to buy a second pillow for."
Barney face fell as he somberly folded the pillowcases back up and set them on the counter, reaching down to pick up the envelope, and making his way to the couch. "What does she mean by that?" He asked himself. Yes, he had commented he liked the pillowcases, they were silk, but that was just part of his awkward morning-after chit-chat. Was she taunting him? Bringing their... night… up to make him uncomfortable? Playing with him? Or just being oblivious, we're-just-friends, wingman Robin?
Barney sighed with combined frustration and annoyance and collapsed on the couch. Running one hand through his hair, he said to himself, "Now what do we have here, Robin?" eying the envelope suspiciously. It was thick, like it held a… "NO WAY," he breathed heavily. Pictures. This felt like an envelope full of pictures. And pictures that said "For Barney's Eye's Only…" could only mean… "NO… WAY." He said, ripping open the envelope.
Sure enough, he was staring at the back of a photograph. "OH. MY. GOD." He said loudly as he read Robin's scrawl on the back, "Are you alone, hot stuff?" He grabbed the photo and flipped it over to reveal… A smiling picture of him and Robin at the bar, taken the night Lily had gotten Marshall a new camera for their anniversary. "Ugh!" He groaned loudly and slouched back in his couch as he read the post-it note stuck to the front of the picture that read "Gotcha!"
"Really, Robin, really?" He addressed his pleading to the ceiling. "All that build-up, and not ONE naked picture? Really?" He pulled out what appeared to be a stack of index cards from the envelope. "Mean." He declared decidedly, crumbling the envelope up in his hand and letting it drop to the ground.
He carefully placed the picture on the coffee table and directed his attention to the stack of index cards in his hand. "Now, what's this?" He asked warily of the last item in his box. There appeared to be about 15 index cards, all hole-punched on the side and connected with a string running through each, tying them all together to form a make-shift book. He lifted the first card to reveal a final post-it covering the title of the book. "I made this for your birthday, but lost the nerve to give it to you. I was saving it for Christmas, but I won't be here, so I figured it's the thought that counts. Now you can use it for your many conquests…" Barney tilted his head, confused, as he pulled off the post-it note to reveal Robin's hand-written title, "Coupon Book of Sexual Favors."
Barney actually stood up, shocked. "NO WAY!" He shouted as he flipped through the pages to read pages of things he had actually done with Robin and pages of naughty things he was shocked and a little proud of Robin for even knowing existed. "She was going to give this to me?" He asked aloud, again, at this point used to hearing his own voice echo off the walls. "My birthday, my birthday…" He muttered, doing the math in his head, "She's been wanting to hook up with me again for… FIVE MONTHS? And she did nothing about it?!?!" He started pacing the room, his hands still firmly wrapped around the book. "And I did nothing about it?!?" He yelled, waving his arms in the air. He stopped pacing to look at himself in a nearby full-length mirror. "You ought to be ashamed of yourself, Stinson." He admonished his reflection.
After about ten minutes of pacing, kicking and yelling at himself, Barney finally collapsed again on the couch with a bottle of scotch. "Robin's scotch," he thought to himself.
"I'm going to have to do something about this," he said resolutely, grabbing his iPhone and pulling up Robin's number. "If she's wanted the Barnacle for five months and hasn't said anything… I can't just not do anything." He pressed 'call.' "Screw the time difference," he declared as the line began to ring.
"He… Uh, Hello?" A drowsy Robin answered, her voice echoing over the distance. Barney took a deep breath, one final gulp of (delicious) scotch and squeezed his eyes shut. "Hey, Robin."
Part Five
A/N: So I've been thinking about how exactly I want this story to fit in with the actual story line of television series and I've decided they're going to be sort of parallels. My story will follow the show in terms of major events that have happened (SPOILERS!! Ex: Ted and Stella breaking up, Robin moving back home, etc., just in different ways). So the relationships the characters have with one another follow the way they're portrayed in the show – which is why Barney and Robin aren't, you know, living together and madly in love by now. I'm progressing as the show progresses (for now)…
"Yeah?!" A hazy, detached voice responded on the other end of the line. "Who… Barney?" Robin mumbled, confused into the phone. Barney took a big gulp of air, opening his eyes and taking a deep breath. "Hey, Robin…" He repeated his voice a little higher than usual in his anxiousness. "So sorry to wake you," he started, setting his empty glass on the table and standing, shoving his free hand in his pocket. He walked over and leaned against the bar in his apartment, in an attempt to feel casual.
"Just wanted to give you a ca-" he was cut off. "Barney! Hey!" Robin's voice was suddenly so loud that Barney had to pull the phone away from his ear. "Oh my God, Barney! Hey! Things are great! Life is great! My job is wonderful, I'm so happy, I'm so…" Robin's sudden burst of enthusiasm ended just as suddenly as she trailed off into a sob. "Robin?" Asked Barney, confused. "Are you ok? What's going on?"
"I just…" she started, stumbling over her words. "I don't know, Barney." Barney's eyes grew wide. "What's wrong? Are you drunk, Scherbatsky?" He heard no response. "Robin?" He asked again, as he heard her put down the phone and continue to sob quietly. "Listen, Robin, you can't nod when you're on the phone. You have to use words." Robin picked up the phone again and took a deep breath. "No, I'm not… entirely drunk. Sorry… I'm so sorry, Barney, I really am."
Barney, at this point, was thoroughly confused, and perched on the edge of his barstool, one leg hooked on the rods connecting the legs. "Scherbatsky!" He commanded. If he was going to make any sense of semi-drunk, half-a-world-away Robin, he'd have to take control of this situation. "Robin! Listen to me." He was starting to get concerned something serious had happened – he'd seen Robin tipsy plenty of times, even drunk a few times. But he'd only seen her cry twice. The night before she left she had admitted miserably that she'd only cried three times since she graduated from high school, and he'd seen two of those times.
Robin sniffled on the end of the line. "Robin! Are you there?" "Yes," she responded quietly. "Is there anything seriously wrong? Are you hurt? Are you safe right now?" She responded, "No, I'm ok," and he released the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. "It's gotta be," he glanced at his watch, "Almost noon, your time. Why are you drinking?"
"I do the late-night news, so my 9-5 is really, like, 10 pm to 6 am," she explained. "So noon is like my 10 pm." Barney just squinted a bit, not buying it. "Uh-huh," he said slowly. "Don't worry, it makes sense to me," she responded. "But I'm allowed to be drinking right now." He nodded, slowly, "O-kaay…" Still not buying it. "So why are you crying?"
Robin's end of the line got silent. "I…" She started hesitantly. "What's wrong, Robin?" Barney asked. He wished he could be there with her. "I… Barney, I hate it here. I quit my job this morning. I wasn't doing anything better than I was at Metro News One. It was worse, if anything." Her words began to pick up speed. "I don't know ANYONE here, the men are too short for me, the food's horrible, I don't know the language, and I miss home!" She concluded quickly. "I'm homesick! And I hate that! I thought I was going to be so adventurous and free and…" Barney smiled crookedly, "Yeah." "And… and I'm just not those things." Robin admitted, sighing. "I think I'm not as independent as I thought I was. And to make matters worse, I'm now jobless and want to come back to New York."
Barney's smile grew big. "Are you sure, Scherbatsky?" He tried not to make his excitement obvious. "Yeah, but I can't stand to face everyone. They'll know I'm such a failure."
"Hey! You and I both know that's not true. Robin… You moved to Tokyo," Barney insisted, intent on proving just how awesome she really was. "Tokyo. All the way around the world. To be a news anchor. That's huge!" He stood up, motioning with his arms as he continued to build her up, realizing her crying had stopped. "Think about that! The biggest chance Marshall and Lily will take involves a new brand of cereal, Ted's so afraid of going into the future alone that he practically proposes to every girl he meets! But you moved to Tokyo!"
"Yeah… I guess so," Robin conceded, unconvinced. "I've already told you you're the second most Awesome person I know," Barney continued, "I'm not going to say it again."
Robin sighed and Barney thought he could hear the hint of a laugh on her end. "Fine. Sorry if I freaked you out. You just called me in the middle of a slight panic attack." Barney smiled; proud he had helped her feel better. "I'm glad I did. I don't want you to sit around drinking alone… I mean, I should at least be there," he continued, unable to resist. "I wouldn't have any problem taking care of a drunk Robin Scherbatsky," he flirted. "Speaking of… I could come get you," he thought out loud.
"Huh?" Robin sounded confused, "Why would you do that?" "Well, I've got some business to attend to over in Tokyo, anyway. I could just bump up my meetings to this week," he offered, "So I could bring you home." "Wait – you're offering to come pick me up because I'm not happy?" Robin was astonished. "You sound like my dad when I would call from sleep-away camp." Barney laughed, "Well, little Miss Scherbatsky, I wouldn't mind hearing you call me Daddy…"
"Whatever…" Robin clearly was distracted, "So… What do I do now? I'm not going to make you come pick me up. I don't have a job. I want to come home. But I don't have a job in New York. Or an apartment, for that matter." She sighed, "Man, I really screwed up, didn't I?"
"Not even a little bit!" Barney insisted as he walked briskly to his computer and flicked it on. He pulled up airline flight information as he continued talking to her. "You just didn't realize what you wanted until you didn't have it anymore. So that's good!"
Robin was silent again on the end of the line. "You still there? Hello?" Barney looked at his phone and starting shaking it "Damn overseas lines…" He muttered. "Yeah, I'm still here," she spoke up. "I was just thinking about that… That last thing you said. You're right."
Barney nodded, oblivious to the undertone of Robin's comment. "I know. I'm always right. Now, PACK UP!" He said, commanding her attention once more. "What are you talking about?" She asked, "Are you drunk, Barney?"
"Nope," he said, making a few final clicks with the mouse. "Although I did have some of that scotch you left me," he commented, suddenly freezing. He hadn't brought up the box of stuff Robin had left. He heard sharp intake of breath on the other end. "And…?" She prompted, sounding nervous. "And… it is really, really delicious. Great year. Thanks, Scherbatsky." He figured, given her already perilous emotional state, he shouldn't bring up the other contents of the box. "I haven't really looked at the rest of the stuff yet, I saw the scotch and was pretty much sold," he continued as he pulled a freshly-printed sheet of paper out of the printer. "But I'll get to exploring the rest of the box soon – thanks, by the way."
Barney wasn't sure if Robin sounded relieved or disappointed when she said, "Oh yeah, sure… No problem. Glad you like it."
"I did," Barney affirmed, trying to move past the subject. All the courageous feelings he had felt when he first dialed Robin had been changed to concern as soon as he heard her crying. They could talk about all that 'stuff' later. Right now, he wanted to take care of her. "So, once again I say, PACK UP!"
Robin giggled, "Barney, what are you talking about? I've got to start job hunting tomorrow so I can afford a place in New York. I blew all my savings on the place I'm staying in over here!" Her voice started to slip back into panic mode, which Barney quickly deflected. "Yeah, don't worry about that. Listen," he said, reading the paper he had just printed out, "You have a flight tomorrow morning at 9 am, your time. Direct from Tokyo to LaGuardia. Pick the ticket up at the gate under the last name Scherbatsky."
"Wha-" he interrupted her astonished cry, "Start packing up now. You can ship most of those boxes back tonight, once you sober up. I bet you haven't even unpacked half of them." The silence on the other end confirmed his suspicion. "And if you want to bring extra bags on the flight, just charge it to the card that bought the tickets."
"Barney," Robin said, hesitating. "Are.. Are you sure about this? I mean, a direct flight with 24-hours notice has got to be expensive." Barney laughed, waving his arm in dismissal, "Please." He didn't bother mentioning it was first class. "Listen, you can even ship your stuff to your old apartment – Oh… By the way," Barney said, wincing. He wasn't sure how Robin would take this news now that she was moving back, "Uh… The married couple bought your old place. So they live there now."
Robin was silent for a moment, then responded simply, "Oh. Well, I guess I'll just have to crash on their coach until I find a place. Or Ted's…" She trailed off, leaving her thought open ended. "Or mine," he supplied. "You know, you could just couch hop for a little while." He stuttered, not wanting to make his desire obvious. "I mean, I do have some nice new pillowcases now, courtesy of you, so I could buy you another pillow on the bed and you could sleep in pure, unadulterated, 1500 thread count, Egyptian cotton luxury."
She remained silent. He took it as a sign of her uncertainty, so he continued rambling, "I would, of course, take the couch, um, like I did last time." She stayed silent. "Well, for most of last time," he conceded. Still silent. "I mean, I'm not saying that would happen again, I mean, unless you wanted it to happen again," his face got red as he became more and more panicked. "Which I'm not saying you would, I –I, I'm not saying I would, either, um…" Silence. His voice reached the pitch of a twelve-year-old girls', "I'm not saying I would sleep with you," he stumbled again, "I mean, geez, not sleep with you, sleep with you, just, you know, sleep next to…" He trailed off and fell onto the couch, giving up. "Anyway…" He said, trying to summon up any piece of dignity he had left, "Uh... You could crash here, if you needed, for a while."
Robin finally spoke, very quietly. "I thought you said you hadn't looked at anything else in the box." Barney froze. "I didn't," he insisted, sticking to his lie. "But you just said you had the pillowcases. And that you would buy me another pillow for your bed," she coolly replied.
Barney didn't breath or blink as he stared, disbelieving, down at his feet. "Well… See you soon, Scherbatsky! You call Lily and tell her you're coming for a visit. Ok, bye, great, thanks, bye!" Barney hurriedly hung up, then threw his phone across the room.
"Well, that went well," he said sarcastically to himself as he poured himself another glass of scotch with shaky hands. He spent the rest of the night sitting at the bar, silently staring out of his window.
******
The next night at the bar the gang prepared to welcome Robin back. "Ok, her flight gets in at 11:20 tonight," Lily said, mapping out the game plan on the bar's table. "Which means we have an hour and a half to get everything together for her welcome party and get to the airport."
Barney slid into the booth next to Ted, throwing a pretzel into his mouth. "Welcome party? For who?" Marshall looked up from Lily's hastily-written schedule on a cocktail napkin. "Robin! She's coming back to visit for the weekend! She called Lily this morning!"
Barney raised his eyebrows in surprise, "Scherbatsky's back already? Wow." He took a sip of beer. "That didn't last long."
Ted nodded, leaning forward to look at Lily. "Hey, why are we having a welcome back party for someone who's just visiting for the weekend?" Lily snapped her head up to stare Ted directly in the eyes. "Because we're horrible, horrible friends who let her fly off to Tokyo without saying goodbye."
"Wait, what?" Barney temporarily stopped eying the pretty brunette at the bar to look at Lily. "Whaddya mean, without saying goodbye?" Ted sighed in embarrassment then turned to look at Barney. "Yeah, no one was there with her at the airport to wait for her flight." Barney eyes grew wide, "What?" Marshall nodded, ashamed. "Yeah… We overslept, and Ted was with Stella."
"So Robin was just… alone? That whole time? Waiting for her flight?" Barney mumbled, taking a big drink out of his beer. Lily squinted at him curiously, "Speaking of which, we never asked you why you didn't show up that morning, Barney!" Realization dawned on Marshall and Ted, who turned to stare accusingly at the suited man. "Yeah, why weren't you there?"
Barney waved his hand, dismissing them. "Please. There was a situation I couldn't get out of…" All three waited for further explanation, so Barney continued, "With handcuffs. And a yoga teacher's bed. What up?!?" He reached out to fist bump Ted, who laughed and returned the gesture.
"Fine." Lily said, disgusted. "We are all horrible people. But we're going to make it up to Robin tonight when we see her at the airport." Barney and Ted looked back at Lily in agreement. "Fair enough. What's the plan?"
"Well," Lily began, returning her attention to the napkin, "Marshall's in charge of stocking the apartment," she looked up again, "The apartment upstairs," she clarified, "with tasty party food and drinks." Marshall nodded, excited to be of use. "Ted's in charge of getting a bunch of balloons – or flowers – or balloons…" She looked up at the man sitting across from her, "Whatever is most celebratory."
Ted nodded in agreement, "Or cheapest." Lily nodded, "Right. Or cheapest." She stood, folding the napkin and putting it in her pocket, "And I'll handle making a banner." Ted and Marshall stood with her, preparing to leave. "Meet at the apartment in an hour and we'll all head to the airport together. Ready, team?" Lily stuck her hand out and Ted and Marshall piled theirs on top. "And… Break!" They all said in unison, popping their hands up.
"Wait! What do I do?" Barney asked, confused. "Everyone has a job but me?" The trio paused, turning to stare at Barney, and then the men looked at Lily, equally confused. Lily looked down, sheepishly. "Oh, right… Well, since I figured you wouldn't want to do anything involving balloons," Barney nodded, "or flowers," he continued nodding, "Or banners or food or really anything warm and welcoming at all," Barney raised his eyebrows in complete agreement, waiting, "Well, we figured maybe you could pay for her hotel room." Barney rocked back on his heel for a moment as he crossed his arms, "Why? Can't she stay with one of us?"
The trio all exchanged glances. "Well, Lily and I don't have any furniture in our new place for her to sleep on yet," Marshall volunteered. "Just a bed." Ted nodded, then looked at Barney, "And Stella's really not a fan of Robin staying with me if it's just the two of us, so that's out." Lily looked from Ted to Barney, saying, "And having visited the fortress of Barnitude, I know you really, really don't like having guests over for more than one night." Barney nodded, recalling Lily's brief stint as his faux-wife.
"Plus, you're loaded," Marshall added bluntly. "So, we figured you wouldn't mind that much." Barney uncrossed his arms and walked over to hold the door open for all of them, "Fair enough," he agreed as they all filed out. "See you in an hour."
He walked briskly towards the nearest available taxi. He had a lot to do in that hour.
Part Six
"Welcome back!!" The gang shouted as soon as they saw Robin emerge from the gate, dragging a huge, overstuffed rolly bag behind her.
Robin, who had been slouching under the weight of a shoulder bag strapped across her chest, looked up in surprise. When she saw everyone, including Marshall and Ted holding a giant banner reading "WE MISSED YOU, ROBIN!", her eyes grew wide.
"You guys!!" She smiled broadly, and Lily thought she could see just a hint of a tear starting to form in her eyes. "You didn't have to do this! Awww…" She reached the group and dropped her bags, going through them one-by-one with big hugs. "Welcome back, Robin!" said Marshall and Lily, embracing her in a sandwich hug; "Yeah, welcome back," Ted agreed, smiling before giving her a brief, awkward hug. Robin looked at Barney, who had remained quiet and watching her with a small smile. "Hey, Barney, good to see you!" She said in an attempt to be normal. "Hey, Robin," he said, welcoming her into a tight hug. "Welcome home, Scherbatsky," he whispered into her ear as he held her close.
The moment was cut short when Marshall wrapped up the remaining Toblerone he had been eating (he bought one every time he was in an airport), stuck it in his pocket, and leaned over to pick up her shoulder bag. "Whoa! Robin!" He exclaimed, buckling momentarily under the weight. "You have a ton of stuff for just a weekend visit!" Lily leaned over to pull up the handle of the rolling the suitcase, but struggled to move the bag. "Oh my God!" She said in agreement. The couple looked over at Robin for an explanation.
"Uh.. Well, you know how I am!" She replied brightly, glancing momentarily at Barney, then back at the other three. "Heavy packer. Uh…" She stuttered when they all looked confused, "Plus, I have presents for everyone! From Tokyo! So… quit complaining!"
Marshall and Ted got so excited at the idea of presents that they instantly smiled, grabbed Robin's oversized bags, and turned to walk away. Lily gave Robin a quick, individual hug and a big smile. "I really am glad you're here, Robin, even if it's just for the weekend. I missed you. It's nice to have another girl around for a change, you know."
Robin kept smiling, her eyes gleaming with small tears of happiness – she had missed this. "So, to the bar?" She asked, hopeful. "To the bar!" The other four responded with resounding decisiveness. Lily ran to catch up with Marshall and Ted who were a few feet ahead, while Barney held back to walk with Robin. "So, how was your flight?" he asked casually, looking at her with his head tilted. She smiled at him broadly and wiped her eyes – she wasn't going to cry. Especially not in front of Barney, again. "It was good. It was really good…." She linked her arm with his in a display of contentment. "And it was first class, you know," she said. Barney just smiled. "I'm just… SO HAPPY right now," she sighed. Barney glanced down at her arm wrapped through his and took his hand out of his pocket and gently intertwined their fingers. "Yeah… I am too," he said quietly. He silently braced himself for her to protest his show of affection, but she instead surprisingly squeezed his hand. They held hands until they got to a waiting cab outside.
They all piled into the cab, Barney and Robin squeezing in close to one another but dropping hands as soon as they were within sight of the group. "So, what did ya get us???" Marshall asked excitedly from the front seat, twisting around and resuming his Toblerone feast.
"Oh, nothing big, don't get too excited," Robin said. She looked around the cab. "Just some knick-knacks. I got Lily some paint sets from Tokyo and new brushes," Lily brightened instantly, "Ted a couple books," Ted smiled appreciatively, "I actually brought some food for you, Marshall," she dropped her voice and put her finger to her lips, "Shh! Don't tell customs!" she whispered conspiratorially and smiling.
"And me?" Barney asked pointedly. "Whaddya get me? It better be good, Scherbatsky!" He spoke animatedly, bouncing up and down in his seat slightly. "Well, I actually brought you some Tokyo porn." Barney stopped bouncing and looked at her in shock, "Wait, seriously?" He laughed, "You bought me porn?" She smiled, "Yeah I did! I figured you could add it to that Canadian porn you bought a while back and start an international shelf in your collection!" As the rest of the car said "Eeewwww!", Barney just continued to smile in amusement. "Robin, that is AWESOME! High-five!" She obliged with a smile.
As the cab merged into a road she recognized, she was struck with a realization. "Oh, wait! Where am I staying?" Lily looked at Barney, who nodded, then back at Robin, "Well, Barney took care of your hotel room," Robin whirled to stare at Barney, "What?!" She exclaimed. "For the weekend," he said hurriedly, widening his eyes slightly to remind her of the fact that not everyone knew she was back to stay. Lily nodded, oblivious to the undertone of Barney's comment, and continued, "So that you didn't have to worry about paying for it! I know Tokyo can be expensive. Anyway," she said as the cab pulled to the curb in front of McLaren's, "He's gonna go help you check in and we'll meet you in a bit!" Ted, Marshall, and Lily got out of the car, waving to Robin, "Well see you soon!" Lily stuck her head back through the cab window and looked at the pair still sitting in the backseat, "That plan work for you guys?" Robin nodded, still a little confused as to what was going on. Barney, who looked slightly panicked, nodded as well. "Sounds great, see you soon!"
Lily spun around and followed the guys to the bar. Despite the now vacant seat next to her, Robin remained crammed up against Barney, a choice Barney was enjoying. This was going well, he thought to himself, smiling. He leaned forward to the driver and smoothly said, "The Plaza, please," resting his arm around Robin's shoulder.
At this Robin sat up straight and slid quickly into the empty seat, creating some space between the couple. "Wait, the WHAT? You got me a room at The Plaza? Are you serious, Barney?" Her voice was calm and steady, but as she saw his smile quickly fade at her outburst, she started becoming panicked. "Why…. Why did you get me… And you paid for my tickets… And you held my hand… Wait, why are you being so nice to me Barney? I mean, really, honestly… Do you…" Her eyes grew wide as the realization dawned on her, "Do you have feel-"
Sensing a conversation quickly approaching that he'd been wanting to avoid for months, Barney quickly cut in, "Yes, I got you a suite at the Plaza. But I'm not as nice as you think I am, my company is paying for some clients from Japan to stay there for the next two weeks and I just added your name to the list. So really, my company's paying for your room." Robin relaxed slightly, "Oh." Somewhat relieved he had avoided that topic, Barney continued, unsure. "But, if you're uncomfortable with that situation, I've got the apartment prepared for you to crash with me for a bit before you find your own place." Robin raised an eyebrow, "What do you mean, prepared for me? Extra video cameras?" Barney waved off her sarcasm, "No, Robin, you know I don't mean that. Just.. I don't know what I mean." Quickly getting frustrated at his inability to finish the sentence, hell, any sentence, around Robin, he crossed his arms. "You know what? Stay wherever you want to stay," he said, turning to the window.
The cab pulled over to the curb in front of The Plaza. "Barney?" Robin asked tentatively, afraid to break the awkward silence. "I think… I mean… I think it would just be better if I didn't stay with you," she said and leaned over to lightly touch his arm. He turned to face her. "But I really appreciate the offer," she said sincerely. "I know how much you hate it when people crash with you, and you've done so much for me over the past few days…" She halted momentarily as Barney sighed softly, his eyes growing sad. "And I really appreciate that. But I don't want to burden you with my problems anymore," Barney opened his mouth to protest but Robin cut him off, "and I think I could just use some alone time right now to figure some stuff out, you know?" Barney nodded slightly, just a hint of disappointment in his eyes, then quietly said, "Are you ok, Scherbatsky?" She nodded in response, her lips tight, "I will be. It's just… A lot to think about. A job, a place to live… Other things…" She trailed off, looking at him quietly. He nodded in understanding, "You know you don't have to figure all of this out now…" He straightened, "Well, then, enjoy The Plaza. Get yourself a massage and order room service. My company doesn't mind the extra charges, I promise. I doubt they'll even notice."
Robin smiled as she opened the door and stepped out onto the curb. "I think I will." Unable to resist, Barney cracked a flirtatious smile, "Of course, if you really want a good massage, I ca-" Robin laughed and cut him off, "Understood." She thanked the cab driver who had pulled her bags on the curb and reached for some money in her purse to tip him. "I got it, Scherbatsky," Barney insisted, waving her off. He slid over to the seat next to the window where she was standing. "See you at MacLaren's?" "You got it!" She smiled broadly. "Oh, I'm SO HAPPY to be home!" He smiled in agreement. "Hey," she started haltingly, suddenly turning serious. "Seriously, Barney, thank you. I really, really appreciate everything you've done for me." He started to say "Please" and wave her off again, but Robin leaned down to the window and gave him a soft kiss on the cheek. Then suddenly she smirked and Barney could see that sparkle in her eye he had missed so much. "If you keep being this sweet I might let you use that coupon book," she whispered in his ear, then quickly stood and walked towards the hotel, dragging the suitcases behind her. Barney, both amused and please, watched her from the cab. He yelled after her, "Well, even if you don't, I still will." Robin broke out into a big smile as the doorman welcomed her inside. "Back to the bar, please," Barney told the driver, leaning back in his seat. He sighed. Robin was back…
Back at MacLaren's, Marshall and Lily were in the middle of a conversation about what colors they were going to decorate the living room when Ted interrupted. "You guys! I have something important to say!" Marshall and Lily immediately shut up and turned expectantly at Ted, surprised. Ted took a deep breath and a big swallow of his beer before he looked directly at the couple and said, "Stella and I broke up."
"WHAT!?!" Marshall and Lily exclaimed, shocked. "How?" Marshall asked at the same time Lily grabbed Ted's arm and said "When?" He waved his arms, shushing them both. "You guys, it's not a big deal. It happened last night." He hastened to explain, after seeing the couple's astonished faces, "I didn't want to say anything earlier because I didn't want to ruin the mood – tonight's about Robin, not me."
"But what happened? I thought she was The One!" Lily protested. Marshall just sat, shocked that Ted wasn't drunk, or moping, or crazy… or, well, drunk. He could notice the slightest semblance of a beard starting to grow, though. "Well, to be honest, it's kind of been ending for a while. I mean, she broke off the engagement a few weeks ago, and since then she's been really pulling away from me and not trusting me." Ted looked down into his beer and sunk back into the booth, sighing. "You know, though, I really think she was just looking for a way out."
Lily laid her hand on his and said comfortingly, "Ted, we're so sorry." Marshall joined in, "Yeah, we really are." He squeezed Ted's shoulder. "Are you ok?"
Ted nodded, "Yeah, I think so. I mean, I'm not saying I'm not going to snap and go crazy one of these days, but as for right now, I'm ok." He smiled sadly at the couple and ended the topic with, "Well, at least Barney will be happy! I'm ready for a wingman!" Marshall and Lily smiled, "Yeah, he will be."
"He'll be happy about what?" Barney, once again, slid into the booth right on time to catch the part of the conversation that would interest him. He sipped his martini. Ted took a deep breath, preparing himself, and leaned forward towards Barney. "Stella and I broke up. So I need a wingman now!" Barney's eyes grew wide, placing his drink on the table, and sat up straight to offer a salute to Ted. "Ted, my boy, I would be honored." He broke into a broad smile. "This is going to be legen-wait for it!" He wrapped his arm around Ted's shoulder as they were waiting for it, and opened his mouth to dramatically end his catchphrase when he heard a chair scrape up next to him.
"Robin!" Ted exclaimed, happy to be free of Barney's grasp. "It's so great to see you back with the group!" Robin had changed and clearly showered, and seemed to be in much better spirits than she had been at the airport. "Yeah," she smiled, refreshed. "All unpacked, washed the airplane smell off me, and I'm at MacLaren's." She leaned back into the chair, pulling her fingers through her still damp hair. "As much as it sucks, life is as it should be."
Ted nodded in agreement while Lily looked on in confusion, "Wait! Why does life suck?" Robin exchanged a brief look with Barney before she straightened and made the announcement. "Ah… Right. Well, I'm not here just for the weekend." The gang waited and Barney smiled at her, encouragingly. "I uh... I quit my job in Tokyo. It was just horrible. And I'm moving back here for good. I've shipped everything back. So… The job search…" she paused, looking at Marshall and Lily, "and apartment search," she resumed, "Starts tomorrow!" Lily and Marshall exchanged a quick, nervous look that Robin interrupted by saying, "Don't worry – Barney already told me about you moving into my old place, and I think it's a great idea!" She exclaimed. Relieved, the couple joined Ted in celebrating. "Robin, that's great! We're SO EXCITED for you!" Everyone at the table stood and hugged Robin, including Barney who was doing a great job of feigning surprise. "This calls for champagne!" He declared, marching to the bar. "Great!" Robin agreed.
Catching Ted's bittersweet expression, Marshall leaned over to his best friend and said quietly, "Sorry to be celebrating, man, but it'll be alright." "Wait, what will be alright?" Robin asked, overhearing. Barney returned to the table with the champagne, followed by Wendy the Waitress holding a tray of glasses. As the suited man began pouring their glasses, Ted filled Robin in on the break-up. "Aw, Ted, I really am sorry," she said, patting him on the arm. "But if you were both unhappy, then it's for the better, I guess… You just may not know it now." Ted nodded his agreement, looking at the place on his arm where Robin's hand lingered.
Suddenly, Robin stood up. "I'm gonna run off to the bathroom," she said to the table, "I realized I haven't gone since I got off the plane." She grabbed her purse and scurried off. As soon as she was out of earshot, Ted turned to Barney. "So, as my wingman, I'm assuming it's encouraged I hook up with someone tonight? To get over Stella as quickly as possible?"
Barney smiled and raised his glass appreciatively. "YES! A toast! To Ted! Who has finally learned something from me!" Ted toasted Barney's champagne and nodded in agreement. "Right. So tonight," he said, sipping a bit of his champagne, "I'm going to suit up!" Barney sets his glass down to applaud his friend. "And go hook up with Robin!" Ted continued.
Barney's clapping died down as he looked quickly at Lily, who exchanged scared glances with him. "Uh… What?" She asked, nervously keeping an eye on Barney. "Yes!" Ted exclaimed, downing the rest of his glass. "It's perfect! I don't like being single, we all know that," he explained. They all nodded in agreement. "I'm no good at it, why not hook up with Robin again? She's staying here." He started to tick off his points on his fingers. "We were good together, back when we were together, and obviously the whole world-traveling thing didn't work out… And that was one of the main reasons she wanted to break up, because we wanted different things." He refilled his glass and continued, "So, it's probable that she's realized that she doesn't really want those things, the world traveling and independence and everything, so maybe she's ready to get married and all that," he concluded, setting the bottle down. "So the best way to do that, is to kick-start it with some sex," he raised his glass in a toast to the horrified Barney. "Right, Barney?"
Lily, who had been watching Barney plummet further into misery the more Ted talked, quickly got Ted's attention, "Ted, NO!" She commanded. He was acting like a kindergartener, so she was going to treat him like one. "You can't do that to Robin! You'd just be using her, and Robin deserves way better than that."
Marshall and Barney furiously nodded in agreement. "Plus, it would just ruin the whole group vibe again, just when we had gotten it back to normal," Marshall chimed in, "Because she would realize instantly it was a mistake and be all awkward around you." Barney nodded, "Yeah, and we just got her back from Japan. Don't do this Ted." He pulled out his cell phone, "But, to make up for Robin, I can definitely get you laid tonight," he said, punching something into his cell phone.
Ted motioned for Barney to put away the phone as Robin returned to the table. "Thanks Barney, but don't worry about it." Ted looked at Robin, who was happily pouring herself a glass of champagne, "So, Robin," he started as Barney watched him warily, "Where did Barney put you up for…Well, I guess the weekend – you'll probably have to stay with one of us after the weekend." She nodded, "Right, well, that's true, and I hate to be a burden to any of you," but before Ted or Lily could protest, she continued, "but at least for the next few days I'm staying at a hotel on 5th." She smiled at Barney, "I don't have to figure all of this out now."
One by one, they finished their champagne and said their goodbyes. Robin headed back to the hotel alone, enjoying a nighttime stroll along her favorite parts of the city… She had missed this. As she climbed into the most comfortable bed she had ever slept in, in the most luxurious room she'd ever been in, Robin thought briefly of calling Barney to say goodnight. She fell asleep before her hand even reached the phone.
******
Robin awoke to a loud banging on the door to her suite. "Wha?" She wondered sleepily. Shuffling over to the door, Robin looked down to make sure the old t-shirt she was wearing (Barney's shirt… she may have kept it after she wore it that night a few weeks ago,) was covering enough for her to answer the door. BANG BANG BANG "I'm coming!" she shouted at the door. She groggily glanced at the clock. 4:15 a.m. Who in the world…?
"Hey, Robin!" A very, very happy, suited-up Ted, said eagerly when she opened the door an inch and peered through the crack. "Ted, what are you doin-" "Listen!" He interrupted, putting a finger to Robin's lips to shush her. "Listen," he repeated, "I was thinking. About you and me. And how, now that you know, I'm not with Stella…" Robin was now completely awake, standing with her hands on her hips in the door frame, eyebrow cocked, "And you're not with anyone, and you're back from China," "Japan," Robin corrected him. "Yup, Japan, 'swadisaid, Japan, that you and me should get back together, you know?" At this last sentence, Ted grabbed Robin and attempted to kiss her.
"Ew! Ted! No!" Robin said, pushing him away and holding him at arms length. "First of all… You smell like a brewery. And second of all, that's never gonna happen!" Ted looked shocked, "Wha? But it'd be perrrrrrrr-fect!" He insisted, his voice dropping as he dropped in turn to his knees. "You don't want to go overseas anymore, right?" Robin looked down at him, her brow furrowing, "Uh, I never sai-" "So you're obviously not the career-minded international woman you said you were going to be when we broke up!"
At this, Robin looked offended and backed away "Ted! What are you talking about?" Drunk Ted barreled on, "And the women I fall in love with always move on from me… You, Stella…" He trailed off, looking off in the distance at nothing in particular. "But you know what?" He asked, snapping back to the woman standing in front of him, "You know, I think it's ok, though."
Robin opened the door all the way, letting him in, and led him to the couch. "Mm-hmm," she agreed, nodding, then made her way to the bedroom as he went on and on. "It's ok, because sometimes people are just like, people, ya know?" "Yeah," she agreed from her bedroom, "And you and I … We were good people, and a good couple. So since you're not in Japan, you want to get married and have babies now, right?" "Yu-" Robin started to agree before he realized what Ted had said, "Uh, no actually," she said, emerging from the bedroom in a loose-fitting dress and pair of heels. Ted looked up at her from the couch. "You look pretty. Why do you look pretty?" Robin grabbed her purse and helped Ted up, leading him into the hall. "Because you look so nice, I thought I'd match you," she said, just trying to humor the drunk man. "Hey, how did you know where I was staying?" She asked, helping him into the elevator. "I'm a ninja!" He said, doing karate moves. His ramblings were starting to lose any sense of logic, so for the entire elevator ride down, cab ride to Ted's apartment, and long and difficult stumbling up the stairs, Robin just agreed with him.
As Robin took off his shoes and helped him into his bed, Ted reached up and grabbed her arm, "Robin.. I'm sorry about this. I just… really thought Stella was The One." Robin nodded in sympathy, squeezing his hand. "I know, Ted. But she's out there, you'll find her, I promise." Ted sighed and looked at Robin for one last attempt, "And she isn't you?" Robin smiled sadly, "Sometimes I wish I was. This would be a lot easier if I was… But I'm not, Ted." Ted nodded in understanding then closed his eyes, drifting off.
Robin watched Ted sleep for a while, then got a glass of water to place on his bedside table. Suddenly reminded of something from the past, she smiled and wished she had a pineapple to stick next to it. It would be fun to see Ted try to explain away two mysterious pineapples.
Sighing, Robin ran her hands through her hair and made her way back to the street. She was exhausted and jetlag was hitting her hard. It was just before dawn and the faintest hint of morning was starting to lighten the sky. She hailed a cab and watched the city waking outside her window as she drove through town.
When the cab stopped, Robin leaned forward and paid the driver then stepped out onto the street in front of Barney's building. She smiled good morning to Greg at the door, who politely smiled and said "Good to see you, Ms. Scherbatsky," as she got into the elevator.
******
Barney was sitting on his balcony drinking a glass of Robin's scotch when he heard the knock on the door. He had been gazing over the city, waiting for morning to come, as he did every night. He hadn't slept in weeks. 'Not that you could tell,' he thought as he passed his reflection in a mirror on the way to the door and winked appreciatively.
He opened the door to see Robin, standing a few feet in front of his door in a dress and heels. "Good morning?" He asked hesitantly, unsure what the woman was doing at his door at – he checked the clock on his kitchen wall – 5:10 a.m. Robin leaned against his door frame, putting their bodies mere inches apart. "Mornin', Barney." She mumbled. Robin's hair was tangled and falling into her face and her eyes were half-closed as she spoke.
Barney instantly grew concerned – "Is everything ok, Robin?" He asked, opening the door wider and leading her to the couch. "Yeah, 'sfine, I'm just really tired." She mumbled, slumping against his shoulder on the couch. "I'm sorry to burst in on you like this," she said, twisting to find a comfortable place to rest her head on his shoulder, "but I was in the cab and then the jet-lag just hit me, you know?" Barney nodded, deciding to ask her another time why she was in a cab so late, and brushed the hair out of her face. "And then somehow…" She sighed and waved her arms around, "I ended up here…. So can I sleep here? Just for tonight?" She opened her eyes to look up at Barney, quick to add the last part when she noticed a glint of excitement in his eyes. "Nothings going happen, Barney." She clarified, starting to take off her shoes, "I'm too tired."
Barney just nodded again, watching her take off her shoes, then stood and said, "Of course, Scherbatsky, you're always welcome to crash here. What's a bro for?" He turned to face away from her, walking briskly to the bedroom. He had to collect himself – this was Robin. His bro. He had chosen bimbos – he had to get those damned feelings out of his head. No more thinking of her. No more buying presents for her. No more holding hands – what the hell had that been about? Barney shook his head. No. He was either going to bang Robin again, which would be awesome, or they were gonna be bros. There was no 'other' even worth considering.
He rustled around in a drawer, finding an old college t-shirt to give her, and walked back into the living room. "Robin, you can wear thi-" he stopped when he saw she had fallen asleep sprawled on the couch. Laughing Barney leaned over to prop her up. "Robin," he whispered, pulling her up to her feet. "C'mon, you're sleeping in the bed, I'll take the couch." She nodded, still mostly asleep, and clung to his neck as he half dragged, half carried her to the bedroom. "This is for you," he said, handing her the t-shirt as she started to climb under the covers. "Thanks," she said, pulling off her dress and pulling on the shirt in one fluid motion.
Barney froze, wide-eyed, "Uh… I was about to leave," he said, going to the kitchen to give her some privacy. When he returned with a glass of water to place on the nightstand, she was already under the covers, asleep. He smiled.. "Goodnight, Sparkles," he said quietly, and left to go sleep on the couch.
"You don't have to!" She called drowsily after him, stopping him short. "What?" Barney asked, turning around and reentering the bedroom. "You don't have to leave," she mumbled into the pillow. "You don't have to sleep on the couch." Barney remained standing, looking at the bed and reminding himself she was his bro. Just his bro. This would not result in sex. She had said so herself. So, since they weren't going to sleep together, he should just turn and leave. He paused a moment more, preparing himself to turn and crash on the couch, as he should, but he instead found himself climbing into bed next to her, taking off his watch to put on the nightstand next to her earrings, and slipping his arms around her waist. "Welcome home, Scherbatsky," he whispered.
*****
Robin awoke a few hours later to the sound of sirens outside the window. She squeezed her eyes shut and snuggled back into the bed, willing herself back to sleep. Before Tokyo, she had been able to sleep through anything. Once she had gotten to Tokyo, she had had to train herself to sleep with silence outside the window. She sighed and pulled the blanket tighter around her – she supposed that now that she was back, she would have to train herself to sleep in busy NYC again.
She had just started to drift off again when she felt something tighten around her waist. Surprised, she looked down to see an arm wrapping around her. Robin quickly whirled her head around to see Barney sleeping peacefully next to her, a small, contented smile on his face. Robin panicked momentarily, immediately pulling up the sheets to check. Yes, they were both clothed.
Suddenly struck with the urge to use the bathroom, Robin slid out of bed, careful not to wake Barney, and tip-toed to the bathroom. But stopped when she saw the bedside table in Barney's room. There, set carefully next to the side of the bed Robin had been sleeping on, was a small bouquet of tulips. She snuck back towards the bed to read the single card stuck in the vase – "missed you" was casually scrawled across the front in Barney's hand-writing.
Robin stood with the card in her hand, brow furrowed, and stared at the sleeping man. Barney was not the kind of man who bought flowers for someone unless he was making up for something. Robin looked back at the flowers – a beautiful mix of rose and orange, the tulips reminded her of Fall or the sunset. They were perfect. But she was still suspicious.
Remembering suddenly the reason she got up in the first place, Robin put the note back with the flowers and made her way to the bathroom before she stopped again and realized that Barney was snuggling underneath a beautiful King-size comforter. At the early hour she had gone to bed, it had been too dark to notice anything in the room. But now that it was… She grabbed Barney's watch off the nightstand…. 11:23 a.m., the light of the day was shining through the cracks of the blinds, illuminating all the changes she had missed last night. Barney was sleeping in the bed, as was she, and they both had their own pillow. Covered in the pillowcases she had left for him. And the comforter matched the pillow cases perfectly. At this, Robin was puzzled. Why would Barney have flowers and a comforter ready for her if he didn't know she was coming over? As Robin went to the bathroom and returned to the bed (she was still exhausted,) she contemplated if this is what Barney had meant when he said he had "prepared" the apartment for her.
Barney began to stir and Robin quickly snuggled under the covers on the far side of the bed away from him, trying her best not to wake him. She was about to fall back to sleep – the bed was even more comfortable than the one at The Plaza, if that was possible – when she spied a crumpled white sheet of paper sticking out of the drawer on the bedside table. Curious, and interested in what a person like Barney would keep in his bedside drawer, she slid the drawer open as carefully as possible and pulled the paper out.
Holding it in her hand, she stared in the drawer to find, not surprisingly, a year's supply of condoms, a camera that Robin was afraid to even touch, and a DVD that Robin assumed had to be porn… Until she flipped over the case and saw that it was actually the Sandcastles in the Sand DVD, with the picture of her and Barney she had left in his box slipped into the dust sleeve.
Robin returned the DVD to the drawer and focused her attention on the matter at hand – the crumpled note. Sitting up slightly to catch a stream of light coming in from the blinds, she unfolded it to read "The Plaza, New York, New York – Receipt of Stay." Robin gasped as she read the string of numbers lined down the page. Barney was paying for her room. NOT his company, as he had said.
"Hey – what are you doing?" A sleepy voice came from the other side of the bed. Caught and embarrassed, Robin's cheeks turned red as she tried to stuff the receipt in the drawer and lay back down. "Uh, nothing, Barney. Sorry I woke you up."
Barney sat up, yawning. He saw Robin fumbling with the paper and squinted suspiciously at her – "What's that?" Realizing she couldn't get out now, Robin chose to confess. "I'm sorry, I just…" She glanced back at the receipt. "Barney! You're paying for my stay at The Plaza! On your own! And it's sooo expensive!" She exaggerated the last words to make a point.
He shrugged, leaning back on the pillow and closing his eyes – he was still half asleep. "Well, just get me something good for Christmas and we'll call it even." Robin knew she should drop it, but she kept pressing, amazed at his generosity. "Barney, you have already spent so much on me, with the plane ticket and the drinks and everything else…" She trailed off, glancing once again at the tulips. "I couldn't possibly make you pay for anything else."
Barney sat up, angry now, and grabbed the receipt out of her hand, crumpled it in his fist, and dropped it on the ground on his side of the bed. "Just drop it, ok? Geez." He lay back down, burying his head into the pillow. "You're too stubborn for your own good, Sparkles. Now go back to sleep, you must be jet-lagged outta your mind."
Robin, somewhat taken aback by his outburst of emotions, sighed and closed the drawer. "Sorry I pried, Barney." He just grunted from the pillow. "You know I really appreciate it," she continued. He was silent. "You're a great friend, Barney." At that, she saw his shoulders tense up. Wincing, Robin knew she had picked the wrong word. She sighed and nestled back onto her side of the bed. "I like the flowers," she said very quietly. She waited a few minutes for some sort of response, and finally resigned herself to going back to sleep. She was almost out of it when she felt his arm around her waist again and he pulled her back toward his side of the bed. She smiled in spite of her better judgment. "I missed you too, Barney," she whispered and snuggled against him.