Part Fourteen

A/N: In response to your MULTITUDE of comments… To be 100% honest, I had completely forgotten that there was a guy at Barney's work on the show actually named Randy. So please consider this to be a different Randy, I guess. Or, if you already had your heart set on it being the Randy you're familiar with, you're going to have to develop your own backstory on how he goes from a total dweeb to a drunk womanizer. (I'm thinking of the right guy, right? The adorable SNL guy Barney tries to make his rebound bro?) Anyway… On a side note, "Commentary: The Musical" on the Dr. Horrible DVD is the best thing that happened in 2008. It's official. Especially Nathan Fillnow's song "I'm Better than Neil." Moving on…

A/N PS – Yes, this part is shorter than usual. But I hit a great cliffhanger and decided to hold off on the next part. Enjoy. I like comments

"I love you."

Barney squeezed his eyes shut, held his breath, tightened his grip around Robin, pursed his lips, and mentally prepared himself for the awkward silence that was sure to follow his declaration.

Robin would shake free from his grasp, smile nervously, and slowly back towards the door, trying but failing miserably to come up with a lame excuse to rush out, like she did that time the couple had planned to use Robin's obvious turn-on with fighting as a way to reveal their couple-ness to the group. They had devised a plan in which they would start dating, Robin inspired by Barney's newfound street fighter skills, and eventually ease their relationship onto the group. But then damn Marshall had ruined the whole thing, forcing Robin to act instantly uninterested.

Barney frowned, remembering Robin's inability to devise a quick lie or recovery. She had backed away toward her bedroom, stuttering. Yes, this moment would be just like this. Any minute now, Robin would twist free and leave him, alone, in his misery, just like Shannon had, leaving nothing but a "that uh, that uh, that uh," in her wake. He should probably just go ahead and go buy that $400 bottle of scotch he'd been eying at McL-

"Barney!" Robin's voice cut through his pessimistic predictions as she shook his arms lightly. Barney opened his eyes, suddenly remembering where he was. Robin had already broken free from his grasp, he realized instantly, his stomach sinking down to his feet. She was standing a foot away from him and had turned him so their bodies were now facing one another. She was grasping his shoulder, shaking him slightly.

"Helllo-oo, are you there? Barney?" Barney forced a small, mournful smile. "Yeah…. Sorry." Robin raised her eyebrows. "You ok there? You kinda drifted off for a bit. And…" She pulled her hand off his shoulder briefly. "You're sweating. A lot."

"'m fine," Barney muttered, pulling away and running his fingers through his hair. He turned his attention back to the mirror. Dammit. She wasn't going to say it. If she was going to say it back, she would have said it by now. Dammit. Instead, she was just ignoring it. Dammit. He leaned over the sink, steadying himself with one hand and he pretended to examine his shave. He really just needed an excuse to lean against something.

"Barney!" Robin's voice commanded him once more. He turned to face her, now standing with her feet shoulder width apart, hands on her hips. She was staring him down. "Don't do that." He blanked. "What?" He leaned back on the counter again, this time with his elbow. He feigned coolness, "I'm not doing anything." "Yes, yes you are." Robin marched towards him and grabbed him, pulling him up to his feet.

Barney looked down at her, surprised. "You're doing that thing where you put yourself on the line but automatically assume it's not going to work out for your, so you resign yourself to failure." Barney's eyes got wide. "What are you talki-" "But I'm not going to let you do that this time, Stinson." Robin reached out for his hands and held them in her own, the two of them now staring into one another's eyes. "You didn't even give me the chance to say I love you too, you jerk."

Barney froze. Robin smiled and pulled him closer so her arms were wrapped around his shoulders. Barney's arms hung limp on his sides as he tried to process what was going on. "You… But… How… You…" Robin smiled broader. "Shut up," she whispered before pressing her mouth onto his. That was all he needed to snap out of his shock. Barney grabbed Robin suddenly and pulled her away for an instant, "Randy's going to have to deal with me out sick today," he whispered hoarsely, before pressing his lips back on hers and wrapping his arms tight around the woman he loved.

******

went back home for visit for few days – needed some time away. call u when im back. love you guys, rs

"Well, I guess Robin fled the country," Marshall joked, looking up from the text message Robin had sent all 4 of the friends simultaneously. Barney smirked as he closed his phone, careful not to show Ted sitting next to him the rest of his message inbox, filled with texts from Scherbatsky.

"I think it's a good idea," Lily reflected, motioning at Wendy. "I mean, her life has been really hectic lately." The gang all nodded in agreement, taking sips of their drinks. "It has been a whirlwind couple of months for her lately, hasn't it?" Marshall said.

"So Barney, what did she say?" Ted directed towards the suited man, still tapping away on his iPhone. Barney didn't look up, just continued tapping and responded "Hmm?" "About the job? How did she get fired." Barney's eyes remained fixed on the screen, a hint of a smile playing on his lips. "Oh! Uh… Well, she'll figure it out. Randy, the dirty jackass, fired her…" He looked up, the smile suddenly gone, "Which reminds me, Marshall, I have a very serious business proposal for you." He returned to the screen when Marshall nodded, "And she said she would just follow-up on some leads she had with a couple tv stations. She isn't... wasn't too worried. Last night, I mean. When we talked. On the phone."

He coughed but kept his eyes fixed on the screen. Ted, apparently unsatisfied with this answer and still curious, leaned over. "Did we overhear you call her baby?" Barney froze, looking up. "Uh… no." He glanced at Lily, who shot him an uneasy smile. "I mean…" He continued nervously. Lily pursed her lips and nodded. "Well… When?" "Last night," Ted said, "When you were talking to her over there." He pointed to the wall Barney had been leaning against during his phone call the previous night.

"Uh…. Yeah!" He responded, slipping his phone back into his pocket and standing. "Yeah, it's um… It's an inside joke. She hates it when I call women at work 'baby,' so since she was upset last night, I said it to try to make her laugh." Ted, satisfied, sat back and continued nursing his beer. Marshall and Lily, however, exchanged glances. "Ok, Barney, whatever you say." Marshall said, smiling pointedly at Barney, who was now pulling out some money for his beer. "Where are you going?"

Barney glanced at his watch. "Got a date with a spicy redhead I met last night after talking to Robin." Barney nodded at Ted. "You two have the hottest neighbors, Ted." He straightened his tie, "Now, if you old folks need any hot, lust-filled stories to fill your boring lives, give me a call tomorrow. Lyndsay is a gymnastics instructor." He winked at the table, snapped his tongue, and spun on his heel to leave the bar.

"Wait? There's a redhead gymnast in our building? Where does she live?!" Smiling, Barney swung open the door and walked into the night, ignoring Ted's desperate pleas echoing after him.

******

For the next few days, Barney and Robin disappeared from the word. Barney told his friends he had to go on a business trip and told his work he was taking a couple vacation days. He carefully phrased his vacation request so if Marshall or Ted caught wind of the situation at the office they wouldn't get suspicious. Robin told her friends she was in Canada and told her family she still had her Ultracell job in NYC. The couple spent hours on end doing literally nothing together. Laying in bed, watching TV… Laying on the couch, reading… Ordering in from every Chinese and Pizza take-out place in a 10 block radius…. And, of course, getting a little exercise together. Barney wouldn't admit it, but there was nothing he would rather do than lay in bed with his arms wrapped around Robin, in her sweatshirt no less, watching Letterman. They had both said "love" once or twice since the original moment, but neither wanted to overuse the word and lose its meaning.

"So I got a phone call today from these guys at WABC," Robin said with a mouthful of ice-cream. She licked the spoon as she passed the bowl to Barney, who dug in with his own spoon. "Yeah?" He asked, passing the ice-cream back. "Apparently," she continued, digging back into the gallon, "They have a job opening for a morning news anchor and they want me to interview!" Barney collected the last bit of ice-cream from the bottom of the tub and held out his spoon to Robin. "Really?!" His eyes lit up. "Scherbatsky, that's amazing! I'm so proud of you!" She smiled broadly and leaned forward, eating the last of the ice-cream off Barney's spoon. "I can't wait to hear all abou-"

"Barney? Robin!?!" Lily and Marshall opened the door and walked into Barney's living room. "What are you guys do…" Lily broke off mid-sentence, taking in the scene before her. "Are you guys…." Robin's eyes widened. "But you're supposed to be…" Marshall pointed at Robin, "And you're in…" He pointed at Barney. "And Barney doesn't share food…" Marshall dropped his hand, looking at the empty bowl of ice-cream and seeing the couple snuggled under a blanket on Barney's couch. Barney's arm tightened around Robin's stomach under the blanket. "Are you guys dating?!" Lily squeeled as she figured it out. "And more importantly…" Lily grabbed her husbands arm, "Barney, are you wearing sweats?!"

Part Fifteen

"I'm sick!" Barney blurted. Robin twisted around in his lap to face him, her eyebrows raised. "I'm sick!" The man insisted, panicked more at being found in sweatpants than being found in a couple. "That's why I'm wearing sweats! Robin made me!" Barney shoved Robin off the couch, wrapping the blanket around his lower half to cover the tell-tale signs of less-than-awesomeness. "She made me!" His voice got higher as he continued to panic, pointing frantically in his girlfriends' direction.

Robin rolled her eyes, collected herself, made sure Barney's extra-long t-shirt covered enough of her to be decent in front of Marshall, then put her hands on her hips. "Can we help you?" She asked warily, raising her eyebrows in warning, practically daring the married couple to say something about the situation.

"We uh… We uh…" Marshall and Lily stumbled over their words, trying to collect themselves. "We just… uh, were coming in here to grab something. I had saved one of Marshall's Christmas presents in here to keep it hidden from him, but had forgotten all about it," Lily piped up. "So we were coming to pick it up," Marshall added feebly, still staring back and forth between Barney and Robin.

"Mm-hmm," Robin said nodding. "And how did you get in?" Lily held up a key. "I lived here once, remember? I figured I might as well keep it just in case Barney… had an emergency again." She trailed off, seeing Barney shake his head quickly, begging her to stop. "Well isn't that an invasion of privacy?" Robin challenged, desperate to divert attention from the actual situation. "I mean, what if-"

"Hold on, hold on, hold ON!" Marshall shouted, swiping his arms in front of him like a baseball ump signaling 'safe.' "Everyone just pause, for just a moment." The tall man now had the attention of the entire room. "I think, more important than Lily having a key to Barney's place," he nodded at Robin, "And Barney wearing sweats," he nodded at Barney, "Although, man, that really is kinda rocking my world right now," he added in a whisper, then resumed. "We HAVE to discuss what we just walked in on."

Robin looked down and joined Barney on the couch, wrapping her arms around her legs and exchanging glances with her couch companion. "Now, as the lawyer and therefore the only sane person in this room," "Hey!" "Sorry, Lilypad," "I will take control."

Marshall crossed his arms over his chest and marched in front of the couch. "Barney Stinson and Robin Scherbatsky!" He summoned. The two looked up like kids caught in the middle of sneaking a cookie before dinner. "Yes?" The asked guiltily. "Are you, or are you not, dating?" "Well, not ex-" Robin started, but Barney cut her off with a wave of his hand, still staring at Marshall. "Yes." He affirmed. Lily's eyes grew wide, as did Marshall's, but he quickly recovered with the next question. "How long?" Barney smirked, "Well, maybe you should ask Rob-" now Robin cut him off with a glare. "A… while, now." She answered. She turned back to Marshall. "Pretty much since Tokyo."

"Since Tokyo?" Lily gasped. "That's, like…" She paused, squeezing her eyes shut to do the math. "Forever ago!" She was now standing beside her husband, glaring down at the couple on the couch. They were smiling at each other, kind of enjoying this. Barney looked a little relieved while Robin looked happy, but a little unsure of the whole situation.

"Barney!" Lily leaned forward and whapped him on the head. "Ow!" he cried, grabbing his head and breaking his eye contact with Robin to look at Lily. "What was that for?!" Lily kept hitting him between words. "You! Told! Me! You! Loved! Her! Before! She! Even! Quit! Metro! News! One! But! Then! You! Left! Me! In! The! Dark!" Barney started laughing a bit, but was starting to get genuinely annoyed. "Hey!" He pushed Lily's arms away, once and for all. "That hurts! And I was going to tell you, but…" He trailed off and looked at Robin, whose eyes were growing wide as she realized just how long Barney had been in love with her. "We decided we liked where we were and didn't want to mess anything up by involving the group," he finished. He turned to eye Robin, egging her on.

"But now that you know," Robin sighed, giving in. "I guess it's for the best, right?" She looked quizzically at Barney who nodded, and she straightened her shoulders. "This is good, now. We don't have to lie anymore. And it'll be so much easier at McLaren's, not having to come up with fake info about the people we're supposed to be going out with that night." Barney smiled. "But that part was pretty fun," he acquiesced. "Yeah." She agreed. "Well, the best part will be not having to come up with reasons why I didn't come home when Ted asks…" She trailed off and exchanged looks with Barney again. "Ted." He nodded. "Ted."

He looked up at Lily and Marshall as he put a comforting arm around Robin. "Lily. Marshall. I don't know if you know this, but our dear friend Mr. Mosby still has some pretty serious feelings for our Ms. Scherbatsky." Lily and Marshall nodded. They knew. You'd have to be an idiot not to know. But then again, they hadn't figured out the Barney/Robin thing, so maybe they were idiots. "So, for the sake of all of us staying friends… You can't tell Ted about us." Robin nodded.

Lily and Marshall exchanged doubtful glances. "Uh..." Marshall started. "That's going to be hard. I mean, have you even met Lily?" Lily hit him playfully, "Hey!" His wife protested. Robin stood and laid her hand on her friends' arm. "Lily, we're just not ready to tell him yet." Marshall looked unsure. "Well, when will you be ready?" "I don't know," Robin responded truthfully, "We'll know when it's the right time." At the exact same time, Barney answered, "When I hear back from the Council of Bros on the amendment I sent in about sleeping with an ex."

Robin rolled her eyes and Lily laughed. The news anchor had obviously heard this before. "What does the amendment say?" Lily asked, humoring Barney. "Glad you asked, Lil." Barney said, standing and giving her a quick salute with one hand while still holding the blanket tight around his sweatpants with the other. He assumed his dictation pose. "The proposed amendment says that while it is true that sleeping with a bro's ex is unforgivable, if the original bro and the ex split through either the bro's choice or mutual choice, and the second bro and the ex are in love, and the relationship begins over a 6 months after the original relationship has met its demise; it is not only permissible, but the union is to be applauded by said first bro." He concluded, bringing his fingers to his mouth, then pausing halfway there, realizing he didn't have a scotch glass in them.

Marshall's eyes widened. "In love? So, like… This is for real between you two?"

Barney and Robin exchange glances. "Yeah…" Robin said slowly, drawing out the word. She quickly stood, again pulling down the edge of the t-shirt to cover her underwear. "Listen, this is obviously new to us, and we'd just really appreciate it if we could keep it under wraps… At least, until we're ready," she hurried to finish, seeing Lily's uneasy expression.

"I'll try," Lily said resolutely. "I can't promise anything, though," she admitted shamefully a moment later, her resolve crumpling. Barney walked over to her and put his hand on her shoulder, "Don't stress, Lil! Besides, there's no reason to tell Ted and get him all worked up if this whole thing is just gonna fall apart soon anyway." Robin whirled to stare at him, eyes raised and hands on hips, ready to start an argument.

Barney quickly realized his mistake. "Aannd… on that note, I'm feeling better!" He raised his free hand in a victory fist-pump. "Better change into a suit…" He gathered up the blanket and dashed into the bedroom, avoiding Robin.

"Yeah… We'd better get going, too." Lily said, glancing at her watch. "We have reservations for brunch," Marshall explained. "So…" Lily walked across the room and slipped her hand underneath the chest plate in the stormtrooper's suit of armor. She pulled out an envelope. "We'll be using this gift certificate to pay for it!" Marshall smiled, realizing that had been his Christmas present. He gave his wife a hug as Robin opened the door for them.

Lily turned to give Robin a quick, tight hug before leaving. "I'm so happy for you two!" She squeeled into Robin's ear. "It's SO perfect!" Robin smiled, saying nothing. "And it's so great that you can trust him, even when he's at work and everything – since you're not there anymore to keep an eye on him. He's finally growing up! I knew he would!"

"Yeah…" Robin agreed uneasily. She watched as the married couple walked to the elevator, hand-in-hand. "Yeah…" She repeated to herself.

******

The following week, life resumed as normal for the gang. The employed friends went back to their jobs, albeit reluctantly, and Robin threw herself into finding a job. For some reason, now that her relationship with Barney was in the open (mostly,) she wanted to have some form of income so it didn't seem like he was her sugar daddy. He had laughed suggestively when she had said that, but Robin did feel somewhat uncomfortable – like her friends thought she was using Barney for his money. (Which, of course, none of them actually felt.)

Late that Wednesday evening, Barney stopped by Robin and Ted's apartment to find the woman packing a suitcase. "What up, Scherbatsky?" He asked casually, leaning against the doorframe with a beer. Ted was in the next room, waiting on him to play a round of Wii tennis, so he was careful not to include any romance in his tone. "Job interview," she remarked factually, not facing him, and reached into her closet to pull out a pair of professional jet-black pumps. "Hm?" Barney took a swig, his eyes following her every movement. "And where is this job interview that you need to pack…" He paused as he eyed the size of her suitcase. "At least 5 different outfits?"

Robin unhooked a sweater from a hangar and started to fold it on her lap, leaning over. "Washington," she said again, very matter-of-factly. Barney choked on his beer briefly before squinting at her, thinking. "Uh-huh. As in D.C. or the state?" She stopped packing and looked at him, annoyed. "Would I really pack this much if I were going to D.C.?" She asked, shooting him a withering glare.

"And," he said, slowly easing into her room and fingering the clothes she had tucked neatly into the suitcase. "If you get this job, you will, I assume, be moving to Washington. And not the D.C. one." Robin nodded, going back to her packing. "Yup." "And I'm also assuming that since they're making you fly cross-country, you're pretty well advanced in the interview process, yes?" Robin nodded again.

Barney stepped back and crossed his arms over his chest. "I see." He said, leaning against the wall. "And you didn't feel it was necessary to mention this to me?" He caught himself when he overheard Ted in the kitchen. "Or any of us?" Her packing completed, she climbed up on her bed to sit on the bag in order to zip it shut. "What for?" She asked, avoiding his gaze. "It's not like this is going to last much longer, right?" Barney straightened, his eyes narrowed even further. "What are you talking about?" His voice had dropped dangerously low. "Well that's what you said, isn't it?" Robin asked accusingly, looking at Barney for the first time. She stood and quickly walked to him, rapidly closing the distance between them. "To Lily? The other day?" Her voice was a whisper so Ted couldn't hear them over the sound of popcorn in the microwave. "You said it wouldn't last that much longer." She turned quickly on her heel and went back to attempting to zip up the suitcase. "I figured I'd just go ahead and free you up now. Besides, I always wanted to travel, remember? I want to live everywhere. You can't possibly expect me to live in New York forever."

Barney placed his bottle on the nearest table and made it to the bedroom door in one quick stride. He softly closed and locked the door and turned to face Robin, his face an odd mix of fear and sadness. "Ted's going to wonder what-" "Screw Ted." Barney cut her off.

He walked up to Robin slowly and gathered her tight into his arms and looked straight into her eyes. "Don't do this, Scherbatsky," he said soothingly. "Do what?" She asked. She averted her gaze, trying to wriggle free of his grasp. "This," he said, stroking her hair. "Run away from us." Robin shoulders slumped a bit. "I'm NOT." She insisted. "Yes, you are," Barney said. "Robin, I know you. You are an adventurer; you could live anywhere in the whole world if you wanted to." He smiled at her and brushed her cheek with his thumb. "And you could have any job you wanted to." He ran his other hand along her backbone as Robin finally looked him in the eye. "And everyone who has ever met you knows that you are the most beautiful, smart, successful woman they'll ever meet." Robin laughed sarcastically and turned to face the window. Barney grabbed her face and turned her back to face him. "Stop that. You are. So you don't have to prove anything to anyone by accepting jobs that are so far away from here. From your home, Robin. From your family." He squeezed her tight as Robin's eyes started to water. "Remember how miserable you were in Tokyo? Why would you want to do that to yourself again? You're not going to Washington just for a job, you're going because you're scared of being trapped. By me." Tears started escaping from Robin's eyes. "How do you know this?" Barney smirked, wiping her tears away with his thumb. "Because I've done it…. I'm Barney Stinson, remember? The king of anti-relationships. The man who lives in fear of being tied down. The man who has publicly announced, on several occasions, that he would rather get shot than get married." Robin laughed slightly at that, sniffing. "So what's different about this relationship? Why are we tying ourselves down? Why are we giving up our awesome lives?" She said, leaning into him for an answer. "Because," he said, leaning down and giving her a quick kiss. "Together, we are SO much more awesome than we are alone. It should probably be documented by Guinness World Records or something." Robin smiled again at the joke. Barney's face grew serious as he tightened his hold and leaned even closer to her. "And because," he said quietly. "I would give up anything for you, Robin." Robin's eyes widened as she couldn't hold back the tears anymore.

Barney wrapped her in a long kiss and then led her to the bed where he cradled her as she cried. "I'm just so sick and tired of not being useful to anyone," Robin sobbed into his chest. "I'm sick of being broke. Of telling my friends I can't go out because I have no money. Of always making you pick up the tab when we go out. Of not being able to tell Ted why I'm never home. I just… I don't know…" She sobbed. Barney nodded understandingly and just held her as she cried.

After about ten minutes, Robin had drifted off and Barney stood, careful not to wake her, and quickly changed into a spare shirt he kept in her room, not wanting Ted to ask about the tear stains on his suit. He walked back into the room, where Ted was engrossed in an Indiana Jones marathon on TV. Half the popcorn was already gone. "What took you so long?" He asked, still fixated on Indy. "Oh, Robin has a friend she wants to set me up with, so I was just getting the details," Barney said casually. "That took 20 minutes?" Barney scoffed. "Please," he said, waving his hand. "When I say details, I mean everything." He winced, aware this was a pretty pathetic fib and hoped Ted was distracted enough by Indy to not question further. He was in luck. "Oh," Ted nodded. Barney sat next to him and grabbed the popcorn bowl. "So I'm assuming Wimbledon is out and 'Raiders' is in?" Ted nodded. Smiling, Barney leaned back into the chair and grabbed a handful of popcorn.

******

"Thanks for the treat, Lily," Robin said, leaning back into the salon chair as a woman painted her toenails a deep red. "I needed this." "No problem, Robin!" A voice chirped from the seat next to her. "I just got a 'couples manicure' gift certificate from one of my kids' moms for Christmas, so I figured that it'd be perfect for you to share with me!" She crinkled her forehead a moment. "Does that mean she thinks Marshall gets manicures?"

Robin laughed and snuggled into the massage knobs inside the chair. "Man, I just can't believe about you and Barney!" Lily said for about the umpteenth time since they had arrived at the salon. Robin had just finished telling her the entire story, from the Tokyo ticket to crying in his arms, and was now ready to move on to another topic. But Lily wasn't quite ready for that yet. "I mean, it's Barney, you know?" Lily said, still astonished by how maturely the couple seemed to be handling the relationship. "Yeah… Listen, Lily," Robin said. "I know you want to hear all about it, but I'm not really… a coupley kind of person." Lily nodded in understanding. "And I'm not really one of those girls who just goes around blabbing about her boyfriend." Lily nodded again, pressing her lips together to squelch a squeal threatening to escape at Robin's use of 'boyfriend.' "So please don't be offended if I say I want to change topics, ok? I still feel weird talking about it – I mean, we've kept it a secret for so long that I'm just not even used to saying anything out loud about it." Lily nodded. "Sure, Robin. Sorry if I pressed too much. I was just excited."

Robin smiled and picked up the copy of Vogue Lily had been perusing and left on the table between their chairs. "I know." Lily smiled and leaned back in her seat, "Well, when you're ready to start making wedding plans, you know who to call. I'll personally remove all razors from the wedding premises so as to avoid another hair-tastrophe." She laughed to herself as Robin tightened her grip on the seat and counted silently backwards from 10, willing herself not to panic at the word 'wedding.' "Well, thanks, but Barney's not really into marriage remember?" Lily smiled, "Ah… Not exactly. He said bro's shouldn't get married until they're at least 30. Well… Barney's over 30, Robin. Actually… I think he is… right?" The girls stared at each other for moment, realizing that neither of them actually knew Barney's age.

Eager to brush off the conversation, Robin shrugged. "Whatever." She directed her attention back to Vogue. "So how goes the baby-makin?" She asked casually, flipping through the pages. "Oh… You know," Lily said. "Marshall's really, really wanting to have a kid. Like, now." Her voice tightened slightly, just enough for Robin to notice. "Uh-huh," Robin said, keeping her eyes on the page. "But, you know, until they start making designer maternity gowns, Marshall is just gonna have to handle his business, if you know what I mean," Lily dismissed brightly.

Robin nodded slowly. "Lily?" She continued casually, noting the corners of the magazine that Lily had folded down. "Hm?" She asked, not looking up from her copy of Glamour. "You know, they do make designer maternity gowns." Lily froze, her eyes on the page. "Oh?" She asked, her voice neutral. "Yeah…" Robin kept flipping through Vogue, noticing an entire spread on Motherly Fashion. "In fact," she said, noting that Lily hadn't folded those corners down, "Even Prada makes a pair of maternity heels." "Hm." Lily grunted, still not looking up. "And you have to know this, since you read every fashion magazine known to man, along with all the gossip magazines that have been telling us for the past three years what all the pregnant stars are wearing…." She trailed off, waiting for a response. Lily still didn't move. "So, Lil?" Lily looked up. "Why do you really not want a baby?"

PART SIXTEEN

"Huh? What are you tal- I totally wa- I can't believe you'd ask-…" Lily stumbled over her words, trying to come up with a decent explanation to Robin's sudden inquiry. After several failed attempts to form a coherent sentence, she gave up and looked at Robin mournfully.

"I just don't want one right now, Robin!" She exclaimed, her face covered in relief as she finally let this secret free. "I just DON'T! And I can't tell Marshall because he really wants one…" Robin widened her eyes as this was news to her – as far as she knew, Lily had wanted to have babies with Marshall since freshman year at college. "Are you serious, Lil? I had no idea!"

Lily was too wrapped up in her own problems to notice Robin had adopted Barney's nickname for her. She nodded. "Uh-huh. Remember right before the wedding, how I ran off to San Francisco?" Robin nodded, starting to get an idea of where this was going. "I mean, I know I shouldn't have done that, I know that, it was stupid… But at the same time, I don't regret it, really, because it's what I thought was best for me at the time. And it all worked out, because Marshall was there for me when I got back… Well, mostly."

She wrung her hands and looked up at Robin. "I just… Well, I just kinda want to make absolutely sure that I'm ready for this baby before it happens, you know? Because I can't really run away to San Francisco for a summer if I panic about being pregnant. I mean, once I'm pregnant… It's happening. There's no way out. For EIGHT. TEEN. YEARS, Robin." She took a huge breath, calmed somewhat by Robin's patient nodding. "I just don't want to rush into any decision that I would be stuck with for 2 decades, and would royally wreck my body while I'm at it, until I'm ready."

She looked at nodding, hoping for affirmation. "Right? I mean, I really WANT to have a baby, and can't wait to have one with Marshall… And Lord knows his mom is ready for me to have one! I just… I feel like having a baby would be the end of something instead of the beginnings. I know Marshall and I have been together forever, but I'm not done wanting to spend time with just him, you know?"

Robin nods understandingly. "I know." She took Lily's hand and let the shorter woman lean into her shoulder for a bit of comfort. "And if that's the way you feel, then I'm glad you feel comfortable telling me." Lily sniffled a bit and looked up. "Thanks for listening to my panic attack." Robin smiled, "Well, you listened to me babble about Barney for Heavens' sake!" Lily giggled. "It'll all work itself out, Lily. You'll see." Robin leaned over and stroked her friends' hair. "This is absolutely not a problem. Just tell Marshall. He loves you more than Chewie, Yoda, and R2 combined. I'm sure he would want to wait just as long as you want to if it makes you happy."

Lily smiled. "Thanks, Robin." She sighed and leaned back into her seat and picked up the Cosmo again. "Now, I'm gonna need to learn some of these new techniques 'to please your man' to cheer him up after I break the bad news." Robin laughed.

******

"This! Is! AWESOME!" Marshall thundered, barreling down a narrow black-painted hall with his laser gun waving madly about. He jumped behind a neon coated row of tires next to Barney and peered over occasionally, sniping the occasional middle schooler off one by one.

"I know!" Barney shouted back over the loud techno music and high-fived his buddy. "That's what I've been saying all along!" The two grinned broadly and continued dominating the entire laser tag field for the better part of two hours. When they emerged into the Food Court, dripping with sweat, their pants covered with dirt from rolling on the floor, and smiling victoriously Barney called Ted (at his request – he hadn't been in the mood for laser tag earlier) to join them for food.

Marshall emerged from the bathroom as Barney hung up with Ted and laughed. "What?" Barney asked, grabbing a handful of nearby napkins to dab at his forehead. "Ha – Some kid was actually crying in one of the stalls and telling his Daddy about the 'big monster man' who scared him!" Barney chucked. "Monster-five!" The two hit palms again, still celebrating their domination.

Stretching his shoulders and running his fingers through his hair, Barney told Marshall, "Ted'll be here soon. Just be a minute." He smiled when his phone buzzed. A text from SCHERBATSKY the screen said. Marshall glanced at the phone sitting on the table and raised an eyebrow at Barney. "So… Barney. You and Robin, huh?" He smiled suggestively. "Wanna tell me how that happened?" Barney ignored him, snatching the phone off the table and bringing it close to his chest so only he could read the message. He smiled as he read.

"C'mon, Barney. You can't not tell me ANYTHING. I mean, you and Robin? This is huge!" Marshall encouraged. Barney waved an arm to dismiss his friend before quickly thumbing out a reply. "Meh," was the only response Marshall got.

"Fine. If YOU don't want to talk about it, then I will," Marshall said pointedly, glancing at his watch. "When does Ted get here?" Barney slipped the phone into his pocket, sighed, and looked up. "Fine. What do you want to know." Marshall grinned wickedly. "We can start with who's your best man going to be?"

Barney's eyes widened in a brief flash of panic. "Wha? Best man?" Marshall laughed. "Dude, chill. I was just kidding." Barney's eyes returned to their normal size, but the panic remained there. "Oh, ok. Cool…" He trailed off, lost in thought. "Do you think… I mean… Do you think Robin's thinking about marriage?" His voice got higher as the sentence progressed.

Marshall rolled his eyes. "No, Barney! Geez, it was only a joke. Robin's anti-marriage, just like you." Barney nodded and then shook his head to eliminate the thoughts. "Right, right… Whew, you're right, of course." He said, looking back at Marshall. "It's Robin. She's not a girly-girl like Li… most girls." Marshall nodded. "Exactly. She's nothing like Lily. And that's not an insult, don't worry," he smiled at Barney.

"So…" Marshall started, sensing an opportunity. "How are things with Robin?" Barney shrugged, grabbing the ketchup bottle and starting to unwrap the label. "Fine… I guess." He remained fixated on his distracting task, lost in thought. Marshall waited.

"Here's the thing, though." He kept looking at the label he was peeling off, bit by bit. "It's good. I mean, it's really good." He broke his concentration briefly and glanced up at Marshall, raising his eyebrows. "If you know what I mean…" He clicked his tongue and returned to the task at hand. "It's just… I'm the happiest I've ever been. With anyone."

He stopped messing with the bottle and just stared into space as he thought aloud.

"I'm happier than I've ever been with anyone. Which is weird, I guess, because I never thought I'd be this happy because of… a chick. But I am, and we've said the whole 'I Love You' thing to each other now… And I'm really happy with everything and I just want to be with her all the time and I don't want to have to hide it from Ted…. That part's bugging her too." He sighed. "I just don't think she's as into it as I am, you know? I mean, now, thanks to Lily, she knows I've been crazy about her for… well, forever now, and I think she's weirded out by that because she doesn't like me nearly that much."

As Barney continued rambling, Marshall's eyes grew worried. He didn't like where this was going. "And just the other night, she was all packed up to go to Washington! Washington, Marshall! As in, on the other side of the country. Without even mentioning it to me. And then I felt weird because I was practically making her stay here to be with me and requiring her to check in with me. And then that made me feel weird because I don't want to have to check in with anyone if I feel like doing something, so why should she? You know?"

Marshall frowned and started to interrupt but Barney kept talking. "She's just so unsure about this whole thing that it's really starting to make me wonder why am I so sure? I mean, I'm Barney Stinson. I AM awesome personified and she's unsure about being with me. Which means I should definitely be worried about being with her, because she's basically the chick definition of awesome herself, so why…."

Barney clenched his jaw and swallowed hard. "Well, maybe it's for the best. I mean, we're certainly not getting married," he snorted, suiting up, "So may as well just enjoy the sex and get outta there while I still can, am I right? Up top!" He weakly extended his hand, which Marshall angrily swiped away.

"Barney Stinson!" He commanded, much like he had when he had walked in on the couple in their sweats. Barney snapped to attention. "Yes?" He asked meekly. "YOU, sir," he pointed directly in his friends' face. "Are Tedding out." Barney laughed nervously, "No I'm no-" "Yes you are, you're Tedding out on Robin! You're taking a wonderful thing and ruining it by thinking too much! Because it's suddenly getting too hard for you to handle!" Barney smirked "Yeah, you did," Marshall broke to laugh briefly and fistbump his friend before assuming control. "You love her! She loves you!" Barney nodded. "So stop being such a pansy and be AWESOME!"

"Right!" Barney agreed, straightening. "And how do I do that?" "You can start by not hurting Robin because you're stupid," Marshall said. "So either cut it off now, which neither of you want, or get even more committed. If you were scared of the water, I'd take you to a pool and force you to swim. If you were scared of the dark, I'd turn off all the lights. If you were scared of Sand People, I'd take you to Tattooine. Show her that you love her!" Barney smiled and snapped his fingers. "I know exactly what to do!" He pulled out his iPhone. "This is going to be legen-wait for it-"

"Dary!" Ted joined in unison. He slid into the booth next to the guys. "So what's legendary this time?" He asked. "Uh- The French fries. The French fries here are delicious," stammered Barney.

******

"So why are you remodeling? This is, if you don't mind me saying so, a pretty awesome apartment?" The pretty blonde commented, slowly making her way through Barney's apartment, a clipboard secure in one hand and her other trailing slowly over Barney's furniture. She made her way to the window "Great view," she murmured, then turned flirtatiously towards Barney. "Would be perfect for after-work drinks to catch the sunset." He raised his eyebrow but said nothing. She smirked and continued meandering through his home. "And your bedroom is….?"

Barney rolled his eyes. Any other time, he would have been psyched at how easy this bimbo was making it. But honestly, sometimes he liked a challenge. And Robin was the challenge. "Listen, Amelia," he said in his most charming voice, leading her into his suit room (aka the room Robin had temporarily adopted as her own… in terms of storage at least) with his arm lightly pressed on her back. "I'd like to make a couple renovations to this room. I'm going to ask my girlfriend to move in with me," he said, stressing the word girlfriend pointedly to make sure she got the message, "And I'm no longer going to need a second bedroom… So I want to make this room into something special."

Amelia nodded, recognition hitting her eyes as she followed Barney's lead and walked into the suit room. "Ah, a nursery," she said, nodding and eying the dimensions of the room. "Got it." She started scribbling away on the notepad attached to the clipboard. Barney's eyes widened and he halted, suddenly not quite wanting to enter the room. He grasped the doorframe. "No!" Amelia looked up, surprised. "No. Not a nursery. Like a… game room or a… cigar club…. or a… gun range… or a… I don't know…." He trailed off, no longer thinking about what was coming out of his mouth. The decorator bimbo shrugged. "Oh." She flipped the pencil and started erasing a few scribbles. "I'm just not used to seeing hot young men willingly move their girlfriends in. Usually the chick's knocked up." Barney swallowed and nodded. "Yeah…" He said uneasily, making his way slowly into the room. "Well, we're not going to be doing that. We're not… We just… We don't do kids," Barney insisted, trying to convince himself as he spoke.

Amelia shrugged, continuing to make a few marks on the notepad. "Well, that's fine. We can do something with this room," she said, briskly pulling out a small ruler and making a few brief window measurements. "Just keep my card for when you do need that nursery in a couple months," she winked knowlingly.

Barney shook his head. He had had enough of this. "Ok, thanks Amelia, 'ppreciate your help, thanks." He quickly escorted her out of his apartment, down the elevator, and hailed her a cab. "I look forward to hearing your redesign ideas for the room," he said as professionally as possible, keeping his distance as she got into the cab in literally the most provocative way he had ever seen anyone enter a vehicle. "It's been a pleasure, Mr. Stinson," she said sexily, leaning out the window. He smiled, still unused to escorting a pretty woman he hadn't slept with the night before to a cab. Amelia leaned out the window right before the cab pulled away and quickly grabbed his collar and pulled him in close to her face. "Just in case the girlfriend doesn't work out," she winked and pulled a pen out of her hair, releasing the tight bun into a mass of tangles hanging down her back. She scrawled a phone number on his hand and gave him a lingering kiss on the cheek before falling back into the cab. She wiggled her fingers at him. Unable to resist, he smirked in response and gave her a quick wink back. "You know I'll call you, baby." Bimbos were so much fun to toy with.

Barney chuckled and turned back to the building, somewhat proud of himself. Admittedly, Amelia was smoking hott. A nine at least, but he had been working really, really hard to be good for Robin for so long that it wasn't as hard anymore to resist hot chicks. 'So this is what committed is like,' he thought to himself, ignoring Greg's disapproving glare as he held the door open.

******

Robin walked the 13 blocks from the nail salon to Barney's apartment very slowly, careful not to smear her newly polished nails. Fellow sidewalk travelers looked at her like she was crazy, slowly meandering down a frigid New York sidewalk in January wearing flip-flops, but she ignored them, reflecting on some of the cold winters she had experienced in Canada. Compared to that, this was nothing.

As his building came into view, Robin reflected on her conversation with Lily earlier that day. She had been shocked that Lily didn't want kids right now, but after reflection, Robin completely understood how Lily felt. Commitment was a very scary thing, Robin would know. She was practically a commitment-phobe. But, she had to admit, Lily had a point. If there was something in her future that she wanted, and she knew she was ready for, why not embrace it? Just go all in? Robin took a deep breath and pulled out her phone. She wanted this. She wanted Barney. She wanted them and she wasn't going to let her weird phobias or ex-boyfriends' weird lingering crushes on her stand in the way. It was time to tell Ted.

As she was about a block from Barney's building, she dialed Ted's number. "Hey, Ted, listen… Are you free for dinner tonight?" "Uh… Sure, Robin, what's up?" He responded. The white 'walk' sign came on and she crossed the street, closing the distance to the apartment she had started to unconsciously refer to as 'home.' "Listen, I need to tell you something pretty important. Um… Could I meet you at the apartment in about an hour?" She smiled as she saw Barney exiting the apartment building. "Sure, is everything all right? Want me to cook something?" Ted sounded confused. "Oh, no, everything's fine. And don't worry, I'll take you out somewhere. My treat. And Barney may join us, too…." She trailed off, her face falling, as she saw a tall skinny blonde in a low-cut red dress following behind her boyfriend. Barney turned to her and put his arm behind her waist, leading her to the curb as he raised another arm for the cab.

Robin froze in the middle of the sidewalk with a front-row seat to her boyfriend opening the cab door for the slut and watched, horrified, as the woman leaned forward, grabbed Barney, and practically did a strip-tease with her hair. She then pressed herself up against him as she scribbled something on her had, probably the list of STDs she was currently sporting, Robin thought furiously. And then she KISSED her boyfriend. And Barney just stood there, smiled, and winked at her.

"Robin? Hey, Robin! Robin, are you still there?" Robin remained silent, ignoring Ted's voice in her ear and mournfully watched the man she loved happily walk back into his apartment. Idiot. She was an idiot. Of course Barney was still screwing around with bimbos. He was Barney. And she couldn't even blame him. That's what he did and she knew that, so she was the idiot for ever believing there was something more.

She took another deep breath and squeezed her eyes closed, whipping around to go back down the sidewalk in the other direction. "Helloo-oo, Robin?" "Yeah, I'm here!" Robin spat back. "And turns out we won't be doing dinner after all, sorry. Barney has…" She stomped her way angrily down the street, walking furiously. "Other plans, apparently, so looks like it'll be just you and me tonight." She paused. "We have lots of liquor back home, right?"

"Oh… yeah… Are you ok?" Ted laughed nervously. "Oh, I'm just FINE. Best I've been in a long time. I just feel like celebrating, that's all," she said bitterly. "What?" "I was … a fool. For a long time." She took a deep breath. "But not anymore. I had always expected it was too good to be true, anyway. Now I just have the proof… Bastard." She muttered to herself. "Wait, what?" Ted was now really confused. "Don't worry about it. Just make sure we've got plenty of things that will get me very drunk very fast." Ted laughed, "Ok, whatever you say, Scherbatsky."

Robin froze at hearing her nickname, causing an unsuspecting woman to slam directly into her. The woman flipped her off as she resumed walking past Robin. "And Ted?" "Yeah?" "You better be there when I get home…."

PART SEVENTEEN

"Scherbatsky, I'm home!" Barney shouted in a sing-song voice. He laughed to himself as he closed the apartment door behind him. Robin hated it when he did that. "Scherbatsky?" She usually at least responded. "I have a surprise for you!" He clutched the blueprints Amelia had left at the reception desk for him close to his chest. Barney walked from room to room in the apartment as he loosened his tie. "Robin?" Huh. The apartment was empty. He glanced at the clock 11:43 p.m. He hadn't even stayed out at MacLaren's super late that night. He pulled out his phone. No messages from Robin. Barney shrugged dismissively. Marshall and Lily hadn't seem too concerned about her whereabouts during drinks that night – they even were kind of surprised that he was already concerned, after not knowing where she was for a mere 2 hours. Maybe she was just grabbing drinks with friends, they had suggested. Barney paused mid-stride, realizing he didn't actually know who these other friends she occasionally mentioned were … Wow, he needs to work on this whole being-a-boyfriend thing. He didn't even know any of his girlfriends' friends. Outside of Marshall, Lily, and Ted, of course.

Robin had had an interview earlier that afternoon, he reasoned, collapsing on the couch and squinting as he flipped on the TV. Maybe it had gone well and she was celebrating. She'd probably show up after last call and sneak into Barney's room… Robin always got frisky when she was drunk.

******

"Ow!" Barney woke up slowly, rubbing the back of his neck. He sat up stiffly, peering carefully around the room as his eyes adjusted to the light. He rolled his neck from side to side. He had fallen asleep on the couch last night, in the middle of a CSI marathon on Spike TV. He looked down. "Dammit…" He muttered. He was still in his suit. "That's gonna wrinkle!" He muttered, slowly standing and making his way to his closet.

On his way there, he peered into his bedroom, expecting to see Robin snuggled tight under the covers. "Good morning, sunshine," he said, rubbing his eyes and unbuttoning his mournfully wrinkled shirt. "The least you could've done is woken me u-" He paused, his eyes now clear. His bed was just as meticulously made as it had been last night. "Where?" He muttered, pulling out his phone as he checked in the suit room. Not there either.

Barney clenched his jaw. No reason to get worried. He pulled out his phone, wrinkled suit now forgotten, and made his way to his desk to check his e-mail. He dialed Robin and went straight to voicemail. He hung up without leaving a message, knowing that Robin used her 'missed calls' list as a list of people to call back – she never checked messages. Plus, now that she was jobless, she was saving cell minutes by not checking voicemail. "You have no new messages," his computer said aloud after he pressed Send/Receive. "Damn…" He muttered again, tapping Ted's speed dial number and going straight to voicemail. He hung up again before dialing Lily.

"Hey, Lil, have you seen Robin?" At the other end of the line, Lily licked some brownie batter off a wooden spoon before replying. "Nope, sorry! Last time I saw her was yesterday evening… Right before dinner." He sighs into the phone. "Hmm… Well, thanks. It's just… She didn't come home last night, so I was worried." Lily giggled. "What's so funny?" "Well, it's just that you said 'she didn't come home,' like your home is her home. She does live somewhere else, you know." Barney stood up straight. To be completely honest, he really had forgotten that Robin lived anywhere else but with him. He had been so eager to ask Robin to move in with him, he had forgotten that she hadn't actually moved in with him yet. "Oh, yeah… Well, both Robin and Ted's phones are going straight to voicemail. Maybe I'll just go visit the apartment real quick." Lily nodded then realized he couldn't see her over the phone. "Yeah, sounds good! Let me know if you find her or if we should actually start getting worried…" Her voice trailed off as she momentarily contemplated the idea of Robin not actually coming home last night, either home, but shook it off. No need to get worried until she knew for sure. "But I'm sure she's fine." "Yeah…." Barney said, not sold. "I hope so too."

******

Barney swung Ted and Robin's apartment door open 45 minutes later. Somewhat ashamed by Lily's admonishment, he had taken a shower, changed suits, even forced himself to make a quick breakfast at his apartment (Robin had started insisting they stock food in the fridge) before leaving the apartment to search for her. Lily was right. They didn't live together. Yet, he had thought to himself, patting the blueprints in his pocket with a smile. Now, he was standing in the empty living room, looking around, befuddled, trying to figure out was different about the apartment that was making him feel soo… unsettled.

"Robin? Ted?" He called out, glancing in the kitchen and making quick inventory of the empty liquor bottles. "Guys?" He softly knocked on Robin's door and peered in to see… A perfectly made bed. "Shit." He cursed outloud and pulled out his phone, ready to tell Lily it was time to really worry, when he heard a noise in Ted's room.

"Ted? Hey, bro, have you seen Robin?" He asked, swinging open his friends' door. "We can't fi-" And Barney stopped. Stopped moving. Stopped talking. Stopped dialing Lily. Stopped thinking. Stopped feeling. Just stopped.

There, on Ted's bed, lay his girlfriend. The woman he loved. Wrapped only in a sheet, she lay with her limbs sprawled across Teds' covers. Barney just stared, his mind completely blank. "Hey, man!" He heard Ted's voice say from the other side of the bed. He heard his friend get up, pull on pajama pants, and tiptoe across the room. Barney remained staring at Robin. He heard Ted making 'shushing' sounds, and felt him pulling the suited man out of the room and closing the door behind them. "Don't want to wake her up," Ted said, his voice low. Barney turned towards Ted but couldn't look him in the eyes, still staring into space in complete shock. "Robin…" He said, slowly, hurting with each syllable. "I know, right? Awesome! She came home last night, upset about something, and demanded to get instantly drunk. Next thing you know, she's doing things to me I didn't even know existed. Naked things. It was legen – wait for it – " Ted said animatedly, blissfully unaware of Barney's reaction, "DARY! Rebound five!" He held his hand up. "I needed someone to end my dry spell after that last crazy chick broke up with me."

Barney slowly focused his gaze on the man in front of him. "You son of a bitch," he said threateningly, his anger starting to build. "Wait, what?" Ted looked at his friend, shocked. "What are you talking about?!" Barney was still not thinking, so he went straight from shock to anger and temporarily forgot his fear of fighting. "She is not just some chick you bang when you want to end a drought!" Barney knew he was starting to shout. He also knew that the door next to them was now opening and Robin was standing in the doorframe, wrapped in a sheet. Ted's sheet. But he did not turn to look at her. He couldn't deal with that right now. One thing at a time.

Barney raised his fist and punched Ted as hard as he could, square in the jaw. "How DARE you touch her-OOWWWW!" Barney shouted, shaking his fist and jumping up and down in pain. "Son of a…" he trailed off, wincing in pain. "What the hell was that, Barney!?" Ted yelled from the ground. "Why do YOU care, anyways? It's just Robin!"

At that Barney finally looked up to face Robin for the first time. Her face was bright red and her hair was a mess. She was clearly hung over and her eyes were bloodshot with tears. "Because I love her," Barney said softly, straightening his shoulders and shaking his fist out one more time. "Barn-" Robin started, walking up to him to press her hand to his chest. "No." He said, stepping away and cutting her off. "Wait, you WHAT her?" Ted asked, now standing between the couple. Barney and Robin ignored him, still staring intensely at each other. Barney pulled the blueprints out of his jacket and dropped it on the floor in front of Robin. "I came here to give you this," he said sadly, and turned briskly to quietly walk out of the apartment and shut the door.

"What was that all about?" Ted asked, rubbing his jaw. He glanced at his hand, now full of warm liquid. Wow, for such a small guy Barney had managed to draw blood. Robin said nothing, just leaned over and picked up the paper Barney had dropped and unfolded it to see what was clearly blueprints of Barney's apartment – with a few minor changes. Robin squinted at the outlines, confused as she tried to decipher the meanings of the shapes and read the fine print. "Oh…." She said aloud as she realized what this was. She pulled out the business card paperclipped to the top of the designs. 'Amelia Crawford Designs' it read. She flipped it over to see a smiling, professional headshot of the blonde she had seen Barney escorting to the cab. "Oh, shit." She breathed, wincing. She had screwed up. She had really, really screwed this up. He was redesigning his bachelor pad for her to move in with him, and she had done the worst thing possible.

Unable to control her emotions (she was still a little bit drunk,) Robin squeezed her eyes shut and ran into her room, turning to slam the door. Ted caught the edge right before she could close it and stuck his head in. "Robin, what's going on? Are you ok? Do you need me to… comfort you again?" He asked, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. Robin sighed. She couldn't take this right now. She rolled her eyes and shoved him out her door, her palm spread across his face. "Ted, Barney and I are dating." She just said, giving up. She was so over all of this. "Were dating, anyway." She mumbled. He looked at her, completely floored. "Have been for months," she answered his unspoken question, then slammed and locked the door. "And I screwed it all up," she whispered to herself. She collapsed on the bed, sobbing.