A/N: Two things before this bit of madness starts. Sorry guys, but this isn't the next chapter in the madness. It's actually supposed to be the one prior. The only problem is that ffnet amuses itself by eating the format if I so much as twitch wrong, so it's too big of a hassle to switch everything around I'm afraid.
This brings me to the second thing. ffnet decided that it likes the tactical comm net addys as snacks and eats them whenever I try to put them in, so I've just left it as is, aside from putting the speaker's name in if it isn't clear who's talking.
Sorry about that
Communiqué 14
From: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)
To: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)
Subject: Oi!
Sit! Stay! Good boy.
From: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)
To: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)
Subject: Re Oi!
Hey! I resent that implication!
From: First Aid (hatchetsapprenticetrannet)
To: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)
Subject:
Resent or resemble? ; )
From: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)
To: First Aid (hatchetsapprenticetrannet)
Subject: Re
X P
0o0o0
From: Fireflight (wingnuttrannet)
To: Trailbreaker (bignblacktrannet)
Subject: ?
What's an eight letter word meaning 'prudish'?
From: Trailbreaker (bignblacktrannet)
To: Fireflight (wingnuttrannet)
Subject: Re ?
Pudibund
0o0o0
From: Mirage (foxtrottrannet)
To: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)
Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)
Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)
Subject: Just thought you'd like to know
Blitzwing has been taken care of for now. It never fails to astound me how vulnerable so many vehicles are to a brick or two of Semtex in the right place.
From: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)
To: Mirage (foxtrottrannet)
Subject: Re Just thought you'd like to know
I knew there was a reason we liked you ; )
0o0o0
From: Swoop (swooptrannet)
To: Slag (slagtrannet)
Subject:
Where my sword?
From: Slag (slagtrannet)
To: Swoop (swooptrannet)
Subject: Re
Him Sludge borrow it. He in training hall. His broke yesterday.
From: Swoop (swooptrannet)
To: Slag (slagtrannet)
Subject: Re Re
Him Sludge stop saying dude yet?
From: Slag (slagtrannet)
To: Swoop (swooptrannet)
Subject: Re Re Re
Nope
0o0o0
From: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)
To: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)
Subject: …
I'm gonna go nuts if I sit around here much longer
You think if we annoy Hatchet enough he'll throw us out?
From: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)
To: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)
Subject: Re…
It's worth a shot. Let's get Jazz in on this too.
0o0o0
From: Streetwise (trekkerbottrannet)
To: All addresses
Subject: PANIC STATIONS!
Scary Lady incoming! ETA ten minutes! Somebody find Killer Granny!
From: Carly (technochicktrannet)
To: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)
Subject: HIDE THE DRESS!
0o0o0
From: Ironhide (ironhidetrannet)
To: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)
Optimus Prime (optimustrannet)
Red Alert (redalerttrannet)
Subject: Ok..
Who's turn is it this time?
From: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)
To: Ironhide (ironhidetrannet)
Optimus Prime (optimustrannet
Red Alert (redalerttrannet)
Subject: Re Ok..
I've instructed Teletran to pick a name at random.
From: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)
To: Ironhide (ironhidetrannet)
Optimus Prime (optimustrannet
Red Alert (redalerttrannet)
Subject: Re Ok..
It's your turn Optimus.
From: Optimus Prime (optimustrannet
To: Ironhide (ironhidetrannet)
Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)
Red Alert (redalerttrannet)
Subject: Re Re Ok
Joy.
From: Ironhide (ironhidetrannet)
To: Optimus Prime (optimustrannet
Subject:
Heh, just remember that she's only a lil' thing and you'll be fine.
From: Optimus Prime (optimustrannet
To: Ironhide (ironhidetrannet)
Subject: Re
Says the mech who will be safe and snug in the Control room for the duration of her visit.
From: Ironhide (ironhidetrannet)
To: Optimus Prime (optimustrannet
Subject: Re Re
Yup.
From: Optimus Prime (optimustrannet
To: Ironhide (ironhidetrannet)
Subject: Re Re Re
You don't have even a shred of pity for me, do you?
From: Ironhide (ironhidetrannet)
To: Optimus Prime (optimustrannet
Subject: Re Re ReRe
Nope.
0o0o0
From: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)
To: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)
Subject: #!
Fraggit Jazz! One more escape attempt and I'll tie you down and make you watch My Little Pony re-runs!
From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)
To: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)
Subject: Re #!
O.O
0o0o0
From: Rewind (trivianuttrannet)
To: Steeljaw (trackntracetrannet)
Subject: Um…
Are you sure this is necessary? I mean we can get another ball I'm sure and this one's bound to fall out of the tree eventually…
From: Steeljaw (trackntracetrannet)
To: Rewind (trivianuttrannet)
Subject: Re Um…
You put my ball in the tree. You get it down. Now.
0o0o0
From: Wheeljack (kaboomtrannet)
To: Perceptor (perceptortrannet)
Subject: Hey
'breaker just came around with the mail sack. There's a letter here for you from the Phoenix Foundation.
From: Perceptor (perceptortrannet)
To: Wheeljack (kaboomtrannet)
Subject: Re Hey
Oh? Can you please give me a summary of it's contents? I am at the moment quite occupied with monitoring my current experiment.
From: Wheeljack (kaboomtrannet)
To: Perceptor (perceptortrannet)
Subject: Re Re Hey
Sure. It's an invitation to a symposium with a name that I'm not even going to try and pronounce out loud.
From: Perceptor (perceptortrannet)
To: Wheeljack (kaboomtrannet)
Subject: Re Re Re Hey
Ah yes, I have been expecting this for some time. If I could further impose on you to put it in my locker I will attend to it as soon as I am able. Have you yet been able to exchange correspondence with Mr Hyneman?
From: Wheeljack (kaboomtrannet)
To: Perceptor (perceptortrannet)
Subject: Re Re Re Re Hey
I completely forgot! Thanks for the reminder Perceptor, I'll get on it as soon as I've finished this project.
0o0o0
From: Trailbreaker (bignblacktrannet)
To: Fireflight (wingnuttrannet)
Subject: Six down
Any clue?
From: Fireflight (wingnuttrannet)
To: Trailbreaker (bignblacktrannet)
Subject: Re Six down
Walt Disney
0o0o0
From: Silverbolt (tlsilverbolttrannet)
To: Hotspot (tlhotspottrannet)
Subject: Have you noticed?
From: Hotspot (tlhotspottrannet)
To: Silverbolt (tlsilverbolttrannet)
Subject: Re Have you noticed?
Noticed what?
From: Silverbolt (tlsilverbolttrannet)
To: Hotspot (tlhotspottrannet)
Subject: Re Re Have you noticed?
Blades and Air Raid. They haven't been squabbling since Blades took that trip to the children's hospital.
From: Hotspot (tlhotspottrannet)
To: Silverbolt (tlsilverbolttrannet)
Subject: Re Re Re Have you noticed?
…you're right. Don't say anything else about it, you might jinx it.
From: Silverbolt (tlsilverbolttrannet)
To: Hotspot (tlhotspottrannet)
Subject: Re Re Re Re Have you noticed?
Got it.
0o0o0
From: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)
To: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)
Subject: SIT YOUR AFT DOWN BEFORE I WELD IT DOWN!
From: First Aid (hatchetsapprenticetrannet)
To: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)
Subject: Um..
Boss? You sure you don't want to take a break or something?
From: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)
To: First Aid (hatchetsapprenticetrannet)
Subject: Re Um..
I'm fine!
From: First Aid (hatchetsapprenticetrannet)
To: All addresses
Subject: Code One Alert
Stay well away from Medical unless it is a genuine emergency. Ratchet's in a bad mood.
0o0o0
From: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)
To: Carly (technochicktrannet)
Subject: Y'know love
I'm so glad we got everything sorted out. Now Scary Lady has nowhere to stick her nose in.
From: Carly (technochicktrannet)
To: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)
Subject: Re Y'know love
So am I. Having giant robots for friends can be so useful sometimes.
What will we do if the Decepticons attack on the day though?
From: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)
To: Carly (technochicktrannet)
Subject: Re Re Y'know love
Trust me, Nana Caroline will probably take the lot of them to task for it. She'll have Frenzy and Rumble as busboys at the reception, put the Seekers, Constructicons, Ravage and Coneheads into the security detail, have Buzzsaw and Laserbeak help film everything, press the Stunticons into transport duty and make Megatron sit in the corner.
From: Carly (technochicktrannet)
To: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)
Subject: Re Re Re Y'know love
LOL! Oh the images!
0o0o0
From: Optimus Prime (optimustrannet
To: Red Alert (redalerttrannet)
Subject: Question
Have you been able to finalise a plan to prevent the Decepticons from interrupting the wedding?
From: Red Alert (redalerttrannet)
To: Optimus Prime (optimustrannet
Subject: Re Question
Of course! The plans will be on your desk by 1800 hours.
0o0o0
From: Hound (lonegreenrangertrannet)
To: Skyfire (gentlegianttrannet)
Subject: So..
What did you think of that little PR trip we took last week?
From: Skyfire (gentlegianttrannet)
To: Hound (lonegreenrangertrannet)
Subject: Re So..
I thought it was quite interesting. The children especially were quite fascinating to watch
From: Hound (lonegreenrangertrannet)
To: Skyfire (gentlegianttrannet)
Subject: Re Re So..
Yeah, they are. They never fail to amaze me.
From: Skyfire (gentlegianttrannet)
To: Hound (lonegreenrangertrannet)
Subject: Re Re Re So..
I noticed that the fascination appeared to be mutual in your regard ; )
From: Hound (lonegreenrangertrannet)
To: Skyfire (gentlegianttrannet)
Subject: Re Re Re Re So..
Heh, yep, that's me. Pied Piper of Hamlin.
From: Skyfire (gentlegianttrannet)
To: Hound (lonegreenrangertrannet)
Subject: Re Re Re Re Re So..
The what?
From: Hound (lonegreenrangertrannet)
To: Skyfire (gentlegianttrannet)
Subject: Re Re Re Re Re Re So..
The Pied Piper of Hamlin, it's a folk tale from Europe. I'll give you the bookfile as soon as we get back to the Ark.
From: Skyfire (gentlegianttrannet)
To: Hound (lonegreenrangertrannet)
Subject: Re Re Re Re Re Re Re So..
Thank you Hound
I think it's going to have to wait though, I just picked up a group of Decepticons heading on a trajectory towards Arizona. Calling it in now.
From: Skyfire ()
To: Designated OOD () Prowl
Subject: Heads up
Decepticons detected on trajectory to Arizona, approx 125 degrees magnetic
From: Designated OOD ()Prowl
To: Skyfire ()
Hound ()
Subject: Re Heads up
Thank you, alter course to track but do not engage
Hound, remain on patrol
From: Designated OOD () Prowl
To: Aerialbots ()
Smokescreen ()
Mirage ()
Cosmos ()
Medical team ()
Subject: Decepticon incursion
Decepticons located en-route to Arizona, approx 125 degrees magnetic. Cosmos, track and provide co-ordinates, Aerialbots and warriors to assemble with Designated Field Medic at main entrance. Leave when all present and Cosmos is tracking.
From: Medical team-CMO () Ratchet
To: Medical team ()
Subject: Clear the bays
Am clearing medical, switching call-sign to Designated Field Medic. 'Aid, you're CMO. Jack, Percy, Spike, Carly, Sparkplug, get in here!
From: Medical team- CMO () First Aid
To: Medcial team- Designated Field Medic () Ratchet
Subject: Re Clear the bays
Copy, on my way now.
From: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)
To: Carly (technochicktrannet)
Subject: Heh
Never thought I'd see the day when Meggy rescues us from Scary Lady's clutches
From: Carly (technochicktrannet)
To: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)
Subject: Re Heh
Same here handsome
From: Aerialbots () Silverbolt
To: Designated OOD () Prowl
Subject: En-route
Cosmos is transmitting progressive location, battlegroup is en-route now
From: Cosmos ()
To: Designated OOD () Prowl
Subject: Probable target
Palo Verde Nuclear Power Plant
From: Designated OOD () Prowl
To: Cosmos ()
Subject: Re Probable target
Copy, thank you
From: Designated OOD () Prowl
To: Aerialbots ()
Smokescreen ()
Bumblebee ()
Mirage ()
Cosmos ()
Medical Team- Designated Field Medic ()
Subject: Probable target
Palo Verde Nuclear Power Plant
From: Aerialbots () Silverbolt
To: Designated OOD () Prowl
Subject: Re Probable target
Copy, ETA 35 minutes
From: Tracks ()
To: Designated OOD () Prowl
Subject: Decepticon sighting!
Just located the Constructicons in New York City, heading for the doc-- message interrupted- signal interference
From: Designated OOD () Prowl
To: Communications team ()
Cliffjumper ()
Warpath ()
Windcharger ()
Bluestreak ()
Powerglide ()
Subject: Decepticons in NYC
Tracks has reported the Constructicons in New York, possibly waterfront area. Soundwave possibly in the area. Investigate and maintain radio silence until area deemed clean.
From: Aerialbots () Silverbolt
To: Designated OOD () Prowl
Subject: Engaging enemy now
From: Skyfire ()
To: Medical team- Designated Field Medic ()
Subject: Autobots down!
AirRaid and Silverbolt shot down by Seekers, went down in bluffs to the south of the plant. Going in to provide cover and airlift.
From: Mirage ()
To: Designated OOD () Prowl
Subject: Decepticons retreating
Suspect this was a diversionary attack, Decepticons are now pulling back
From: Blaster ()
To: Designated OOD () Prowl
Subject: Too late
Decepticons have long come and gone, ripped open Tony Stark's shack and were out again, just like that.
From: Designated OOD () Prowl
To: Mirage ()
Blaster ()
Subject: All units
Enact clean up and return to base. Group leaders to submit first on scene reports after arrival, follow-up reports to be submitted tonight.
From: Mirage ()
To: Designated OOD () Prowl
Subject: Re All units
Copy, ETA 2 hours
From: Blaster ()
To: Designated OOD () Prowl
Subject: Re All units
Gotcha, back in 2 hours and thirty.
From: Medical team- Designated Field Medic () Ratchet
To: Medical team- CMO () First Aid
Subject: Sit-rep
Attachment:sitrep.doc
Two stable status two's, fliers are alive and moaning, Skyfire is transporting. Three walking wounded. ETA 45 minutes
From: Medical team- CMO () First Aid
To: Medical team- Designated Field Medic () Ratchet
Subject: Re Sit-rep
Attachment received
0o0o0
From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)
To: Grimlock (megrimlocktrannet)
Mirage (foxtrottrannet)
Smokescreen (bettingbottrannet)
Bumblebee (buzzybeetrannet)
Subject: Was thinking
It'd be rather rude if the 'cons decided to interrupt the wedding next week. You mechs interested in having a lil pow-wow an' figuring out somethin' t' keep 'em otherwise occupied?
From: Grimlock (megrimlocktrannet)
To: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)
Subject: Re Was thinking
Me come.
From: Smokescreen (bettingbottrannet)
To: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)
Subject: Re Was thinking
Mirage and I are in
From: Bumblebee (buzzybeetrannet)
To: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)
Subject: Re Was thinking
Count me in! Want me to go see if Wheeljack has any spare explosives he can 'lose'?
From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)
To: Bumblebee (buzzybeetrannet)
Subject: Re Re Was thinking
Sure. Won't be a party without a few fireworks ; )