Syd laughed at the joke Chris had just made, she was glad she had agreed to go out for lunch with him. After their laughter died down, he asked her,
"So Syd, what made you change your mind?"
"Change my mind about what?" she asked, momentarily forgetting her indecision about going on a date with Chris.
"About dating me." Chris continued.
Sydney stiffened and launched back,
"Just because I went on one lunch date with you that doesn't mean we're dating."
"Do you want to be?" Chris asked.
Syd opened her mouth to answer, then closed it.
"Uh, . . ." she mumbled.
Chris sensed her indecision and assured her,
"Listen Sydney, I don't want to rush you. We can take this slow if you want, one date at a time."
Syd smiled and replied,
"Thanks, that means a lot to me."
It was quiet for a moment, then Chris asked,
"You still haven't answered my question. Why did you change your mind?"
"Well," Sydney answered, "it wasn't really one distinct thing. Just a some stuff you said got me thinking, and I realized you were kind of right. I've been sort closing myself off from everyone, or at least, from guys if you know what I mean. I guess I was . . . scared to date someone, you know? I was trying to protect myself, but I ended up causing myself more harm than good. And I-"
She suddenly laughed, but it was a fake laugh. With slightly watery eyes she said,
"Nice going Syd, first date and you're already pouring your heart out. Listen Chris, I'm sorry. This isn't really lunch date conversation, I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable or anything. I-"
She stopped again, this time by Chris. He put up his hands, motioning her stop, and said,
"Syd, listen, it's fine. I don't care what we talk about, as long as I'm talking with you. You obviously have some stuff on your chest that you need to get off. You can talk to me about it anytime you want, and I mean anytime."
Sydney laughed again, this time for real. But it was a soft laugh, kind of like a chuckle only meant for herself. But Chris heard it and laughed,
"What's so funny this time?"
Syd looked up at him, for she had been looking at the ground, and asked him,
"Is this all a dream?"
"No, why?" he asked.
"Because," she answered, "in the last hour I have done everything I never thought I would do: I went on a date; I went on a date with you; I poured out some of my most deepest secrets; and . . . I'm happy right here, right now."
Chris smiled back at her and reached out, holding her hand. He held it, but more importantly . . . she held it back.
The touching moment was broken up by Chris exclaiming,
"Oh my God! Look at the time! We'll be late, we'd better get going!"
Sydney had picked him up at the office in her car so as they left the small cafe they had been eating in, they entered the same car together and drove back to work. The car ride was relatively silent compared to their talkative lunch date. The only exception was when Chris asked,
"So, do we tell anyone about this?"
"No, not yet." Sydney answered, "Let's not mention anything about until things get official or serious."
"Okay," Chris agreed, "however you want it to be. For now, we're just two friends who ate lunch together."
She smiled at him, and he smiled back. But their connection didn't last long, for Syd had to keep her eyes on the road. When they got back to the office, everyone was there.
Walker, Trivette, Gage, even Alex! They all looked up as she and Chris entered the room, Syd felt herself blushing but Chris kept his cool.
"Hey guys, what's up?" he asked.
He then joined the group and they began talking about some new drug ring. During the conversation Gage approached Syd who was sitting quietly on the outskirts of the group.
"Hey Shorty, what's up?"
She smiled at him and playfully punched his arm.
"Nothing Francis." she teased.
He chuckled and then asked,
"So how was lunch?"
Syd felt her cheeks grow hot and her legs shaky. Did Gage suspect her?
Before she could answer he continued with a smile,
"I'm sure it wasn't that good, considering I wasn't there!"
She forced a laugh with him and joked,
"Yah Gage, you're the only source of happiness in my life. Well, you and strawberry milkshakes."
They both laughed, but Gage could tell that Sydney's was forced.
"Hey Syd?" he asked.
"Yah Gage." she replied.
"Are you okay?" he continued.
"Of course," she said stiffly, "why wouldn't I be?"
"You just seem to be acting, . . . I don't know. Different."
"Well I'm fine Gage."
"You sure Syd?"
"Positive." she answered in a slightly annoyed voice.
It was silent between them for a minute until Gage asked,
"Are you hiding something from me?"
"No! Now will you quit asking me that?!" Syd exclaimed.
Then Sydney blushed (she seemed to be doing a lot of that lately) because the had answered Gage a lot louder than intended. Everyone in the room was looking at them strangely. She made eye contact with Walker, who was looking at her with questioning eyes. She shrugged, silently apologizing. He nodded, and then put an end to the awkward silence in the room by bringing up some convict and sparking a conversation.
She looked back at Gage and whispered,
"Sorry about that, I'm a little off today."
Before he could speak she continued,
"I have a lot of paperwork to do, I'll be at my desk."
And with that she walked to her desk and began to work silently and diligently for the rest of the day. Every now and then she would steal glances at Gage and Chris, but she never made sign to approach them and nor did she speak. When the day ended she got up from her desk and muttered a quiet goodbye to everyone. Then she walked, well more like ran, to her car and didn't look back the whole way to her apartment. In short: she was completely messed up and confused.