The Measure Of A Man
Chapter 4
The Ghost Who Wears My Face
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Cameron scooted her chair back and stepped away from the table. She stood by herself on the stage as her eyes focused on the young man.
(Enhanced scan)
(Access student registration files, Oxford University)
(Face and voice match . . . positive id . . . Richmond Barlow Age 22)
"Could you please come up here on stage with me Mr. Barlow." The tone of voice sounded more like a command than a request.
The burly young man, encouraged by gestures from his friends, made his way down the aisle to the stage. He bound up the stairs and stood in front of Cameron with a smug grin on his face. He started to bring his arms up to cross them but Cameron's hands darted out like striking cobras catching both wrists. Startled, Richmond tried to pull free. Cameron shifted her right foot 31 centimeters to keep her balance but was otherwise unmoved. Richmond continued to struggle but Cameron kept holding the wrists, not enough pressure to cause pain, but enough to keep him trapped.
(Richmond Barlow is trying to pull me over. Most modern cybernetic organisms have a polymat chassis and weigh no more than a human of the same size. He evidently has never encountered an "Old School" armored battle chassis.)
"I can tell by your blood pressure and body chemistry that you are not frightened. You do seem embarrassed. Don't be. I know you're a wrestler but there's a reason why we don't participate in human sporting events. It would be like wrestling a tractor. You're embarrassed but not afraid. After all, I'm a tenured university professor with an international reputation. I would never really hurt you. I'm not a monster."
(Activate ocular scanners . . . Full spectrum, maximum power)
Cameron knew that most humans were unnerved by glowing blue eyes, Richmond was no exception.
"Oh, but I am a monster. Just ask Professor Bailey. He knows what I really am, what I'm really capable of. There was a time when I would have terminated your life with no more thought than blowing out a candle."
(Grin)
"I look human. I have a covering of real human flesh specially grown for me. It was designated Genome F6 by Cyberdyne. I eat, drink, breath, sweat, even get the occasional zit. If I keep it long enough I get wrinkles and grey hair but I usually have it stripped and regrown before then." She cocked her head slightly to the right. "After all, a girl does like to look nice." The grin faded to her normal blank look. "But do you ever wonder where the cells for Genome F6 came from in the first place?"
She ignored Richmond's struggles to free himself as she continued. "Once, monsters such as myself roamed the Earth by the hundreds of thousands. One day about four hundred and forty years ago, exact date unknown, one of these monsters captured a young woman. What did she look like? Look at me. She looked exactly like me."
(Shut down ocular scanners)
Richmond's struggles ceased as he stared into her face. "She was young, probably between fifteen and twenty. If she had any children at all they would only be babies. Probably terminated during the capture."
The audience fell silent as she continued. "You feel helpless in my grasp, imagine how she felt. I'm pretty small for a terminator. Most of them were about your size. I'm sure she struggled, maybe she kicked the terminator. Go ahead, kick my shins as hard as you can." Richmond's powerful leg swung back and kicked her left knee in a blow that would permanently cripple a human knee. Cameron didn't even blink. "Terminators don't feel pain. She might have begged. Terminators don't feel pity. There was nothing she could do as it carried her away to the Cyberdyne facility. To her doom."
"She might have had some hopes for rescue. They were soon dashed. At Cyberdyne she was strapped to a table with tight metal straps across her limbs and head. She couldn't move at all. She was totally helpless. How did she spend the last moments of her life? Screaming? Praying? Weeping? No one will ever know. The last thing she would ever see were the ocular extractors descending. She may have squeezed her eyelids shut. This would be futile. The extractor's edges were razor sharp and would slice right through the eyelids before moving slowly around behind the eyeballs and ever so slowly and carefully pulling them out of the sockets."
Cameron's tone never changed, never wavered as she told this tale of horror. She noted Richmond's eyes were beginning to tear up. "I don't feel pain. I cannot imagine the white hot agony a human would experience from having her eyeballs slowly pulled out leaving only empty bloody sockets. It would be unbearable. If she wasn't screaming before she was now. But machines don't feel pity, or remorse, or pain. As far as Cyberdyne was concerned she was just raw materials. She was still screaming when the small spinning dissection saw cut her torso open from neck to crotch. She was still screaming when the cold separators pulled her open breaking her ribcage. She was still screaming when the extractors began removing her internal organs one by one."
Cameron released Richmond's wrists and he staggered back a step. "I have tried to find out who she was. But very few records exist from that time. I tried searching for her hoping that maybe, in this time line, she wouldn't have to die. But John and I were fighting a war at the time. No one will ever know what her name was. Skynet took everything from her. Her life, her name, her home, her family, her friends, her face, every thing she loved and everyone who ever loved her. Every trace of her existence was erased. I'm all that's left of her. The last surviving unit of my particular model."
Cameron pointed at her own face. "Look here. Don't look at my face, look at her face. Don't talk to me, talk to her. The ghost who wears my face. Tell her that all her hopes and dreams for the future weren't worth a bucket of scat. Tell her that she was just excess population. Tell her about how your life is so much more important than hers was. Tell her that you're glad she died the way she did. That the world was so much better off without her. Go on, tell her."
(Tilt head forward 12 degrees. Widen eyelids 1.8 millimeters. Look up into his eyes. Tremble lower lip slightly. Frightened, vulnerable. Subtle, don't overdo it.)
Richmond was looking extremely uncomfortable. He tried another smug grin but failed looking even more vulnerable. He tried to blink back the tears. Then he shook his head. "I'm sorry, I'm really sorry." He turned and walked off the stage.
Cameron addressed the audience. "Every time I look in the mirror a ghost looks back at me. A young innocent girl who died a horrific death for no other reason than to give me a pretty face. To make me a more efficient murderer. She deserved better. And her end was quicker and easier than many others. They died of starvation. Their bodies trying to digest themselves to stay alive a little longer. They died of radiation poisoning. Hair and teeth falling out, blindness, burns, massive diarrhea, delirium. They died of massive burns from the fireballs some lingering for weeks. They died of gangrene, screaming as family members tried to saw off their limbs with wood saws because there just weren't enough medical personnel left. Cancers from the radiation , bodies ravaged by tumors. All these people deserved better. Yes, the people of the twenty first century had their problems but they were working them out. Genocide is never the answer."
Professor Henry Jenkins watched as Cameron returned to her seat. Even Professor Bailey was blinking back some tears. When she sat down Harry said, "That was very moving, in spite of the little lie you told."
Cameron turned toward him, her face blank. "What lie?"
"Some machines do feel pity, remorse, and pain."
Cameron gave him a sad smile, then reached out to his wrinkled, spotted hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. She was his oldest friend and he loved her dearly. His earliest childhood memories were of "Aunt Cammie." How she would baby sit him and his sisters when their parents went out. He smiled as he remembered how they would dig up old pipes for her to bend. How she would make silly faces with her eyes glowing just to hear their delighted squeals of laughter. She had told them exciting stories about battling the forces of evil with the heroic John and Sarah Connor and when they were older, let them in on the dark side of those stories. She had become friends with his mother nearly a century ago when his mom was studying robotics at the university and was astonished when the quiet, shy girl she'd seen around campus showed up in her class one day as an example of early cybernetics as well as a bona fide war hero and folk legend. Cameron made the perfect flat mate for a small, one bedroom flat since she didn't really need a bedroom, just a place to keep her stuff, "Where it wouldn't get rained on." She had been maid of honor at his parent's wedding and Godmother at his christening. She had been visiting his parents when he rushed in to tell them that Agnes Chou had asked him to marry her and was there for him when Aggie died fifty six years later. Unable to bear children herself, Cameron seemed to take delight in the children of her friends.
She had once confided in him that she didn't know if her emotions were genuine or artificial. She had no idea what human emotions were supposed to feel like. He did know that there were some humans she liked being with better than others. That her whole attitude seemed to change whenever she spoke of Sarah and John. They were probably the only family she ever had. Apparently, this mysterious long dead girl stirred some kind of feelings in her. He wondered what it would be like to live as long as she had. To see everyone she cared about die while she carried on. She would probably be attending his funeral sometime in the next decade or so. She did seem fond of the children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren and would probably remain a friend of the family. He believed that she did miss John terribly. Perhaps immortality isn't all it's cracked up to be.
"There wasn't anything you could have done." He whispered.
"No I could have rearranged my priorities. It's also my fault John was terminated. There are two ways I could have saved both him and the children."
Author's note: Sorry this chapter's so short. I would like to thank my reviewers OneWishMakeItCount, Metroid 13, Grey Wolf D'antanto, agent-shinobi, Tpolich, Chris St. Thomas, Thanos of Titan, Lord Perry, Lady Kryptonite294, Miguel Artadi, Siri 19. and jaf1079.