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Senior Year: The Reunion

Chapter 7 (Carmen's pov).

"Son of a bitch! Are you blind? It's red, asshole, red!"

Dear God, but people are stupid. I mean what's so hard about understanding that if the light is red, you need to stop? It's not quantum physics or brain surgery, you barely need to know your alphabet to understand the concept of a traffic light and what the colours mean. Yet on a daily basis this happens, some a-hole cuts you off on the freeway or someone runs a red light, just people doing stupid stuff behind the wheel of a car. People are just morons.

I give the old lady the finger and shake my head, wondering if she bought her driver's license from the local Pennysaver or something. Old people and cars, they're almost worse then teenagers and cars. And that's saying something, right?

I sigh as I put my foot on the gas, accelerating into traffic and turn up the radio. Road rage aside, there's something nice about driving with the windows down, music blaring and the warm L.A sun glinting off the car in front of you. I won't call it peaceful, but it's relaxing in a way to know that for forty minutes or so you can just numb your mind and follow the flow of traffic. I glance at Tommy in his car seat, head lolled to the side as he drools in his sleep. He seems to like it too...

My mother usually takes care of things like pediatrician appointments and trips to the hairdressers and stuff, but today was one of the exceptions and it was left up to me to take Tommy for his annual check up. I might have thought about dumping it on Spencer, but she has the speech thing today at King and was stressed and nervous enough as it was.

I knew she didn't want to do it, not just the speech, but the whole Reunion thing at first. I could see how she was closing herself off to the idea, how she was trying her best to just push it out of her mind completely. Thing is I knew she had to do it, could see how bothered she was by all the old memories it had drug up again. She wandered the house at night, her eyes gray and dark circled in the morning when we shared a quick cup of coffee before facing the daily chaos of both our collective professions.

At first I tried to ignore it, tried to tell myself that maybe just leaving everything alone would be the best thing for everyone, but in the end I knew my first reaction was the right one.

Deep down, Spencer wanted to do this. Well, maybe not wanted to, but she sure as hell needed to. She keeps everything inside, keeps all her guilt close to her heart and feeds off it somehow. It drives her, it makes her scarily intense about her job and though I can't necessarily fault her for that, I know it's not entirely good for her either. She needs to rid herself of some of the guilt, some of the blame she so readily took upon herself.

Spencer is all about making right the wrongs in this world, all about paying for her so called 'sins'. Ashley is one of those sins, one of the things she feels guilty about. So as with everything else, with all the other things she feels guilty about and therefore tries to fix, why would the situation with Ashley be any different?

That's why I knew that deep down she wanted to see Ashley again, knew that on some level she's always been dying for the chance to make things right, to tell her how sorry she was. As much as I believe that the break up wasn't just Spencer's fault, I know she believes exactly the opposite. That's why I phoned up the school and informed them that Spencer would be attending the Reunion, that she's even do the speech thing the secretary mentioned.

Spencer wouldn't have gone if she wasn't pushed into it and me? I've never been afraid to push Spencer, to make her do the tough things she tries to hide from. That's what a best friend is for, to help you face the tough times and not hide from them.

That's what Spencer had always done for me, ever since high school. So even if it hurt to admit some of the things I did the night she found me in the kitchen, even though it broke my heart to tell her how scared I was for her every single day she picked up her badge and went to work, I knew it had to be said.

I meant it when I said I wouldn't let Spencer kill herself all because of some twisted sense of guilt she carried. She, more than anyone else I know, deserves to live. Spencer is a good person, always had been even despite the mistakes she's made. She's not perfect, I know that, but I think she comes pretty close.

Obviously she doesn't share that particular opinion, but I figure I can slowly get her to see that too. I mean I got her to agree to the Reunion, didn't I? Even got her to promise she'd be more careful at work, wouldn't go out of her way looking for trouble and taking chances. I'm just super persuasive like that, must be part of the whole lawyer charm I guess.

I smile as I start humming along to the radio, feeling rather self satisfied. I mean I know that given the opportunity, Spencer will talk to Ashley, hell, maybe even work some things out. If I'm super lucky, she might even start to understand that Ashley had some fault in the break up too and that will be one thing less she's got to carry the burden for.

By the time I'm actually singing out loud, some old Tom Petty song about even losers getting lucky sometimes, I'm in a rather good mood. It's Friday, I've got the rest of the afternoon off and all is relatively well in my life.

Of course, that should have been my first warning that it was all about to go to hell.

My cellphone rings just as I'm nearing our neighborhood, a number I faintly recognize flashing onto it's display. I answer, a frown immediately forming as I realize whose number it is.

"Garcia here."

And then my world is shaken a bit. Carter doesn't know much, just that Spencer ended up getting hurt down at King High. Something about a kid with a bag full of drugs and that she was already on her way to the hospital, actually probably already there. It's all he's got for me and he tells me he'll meet me at the hospital and that by then he should know more.

I have a little trouble breathing at first, but then I tell myself it could just be a false alarm, that I'm working myself up over nothing. The last time she ended up in hospital she had an ass full of fork and that's not exactly life threatening. I mean she nearly died of embarrassment, but she wasn't really any worse for wear.

I still break a couple of land speed records on my way to the hospital, Tommy sitting wide eyed and quiet in his car seat, like he somehow knew to not cry and distract me from the road. I try to push the image of the old lady's face I almost hit while she was crossing the road out of my mind, pretty sure that I took a year or two off her life with that scare. Kinda makes me feel a little guilty knowing she probably only has a few years left to begin with...

"Vroom-vroom!"

Tommy waves his little arms around, his eyes still round as saucers, as he imitates a car revving and finally I snap out of my little guilt trip.

"Yeah, Tommy, we went vroom-vroom really fast, didn't we? Now remember, we don't need to tell Grandma about this, okay?"

He smiles a little as I unstrap him from the seat and I bite my lip to stop from swearing when he gets tangled in the now loose straps. Spencer makes me put a dollar in a jar each time I swear in front of any of the kids, seeing as Tommy's second word was quite possibly 'crap'. I'm happy to report that the jar is only filled up halfway...this month.

I'm pretty sure my sister will be able to put the kids through college because of that damn jar.

By the time I've got Tommy on my hip and my car locked up safely, I simply sprint to the wide doors of the hospital. I don't care that I'm precariously close to eating dirt in my high heels, I just want to make sure Spencer is okay. So by the time I'm at a desk facing a bottle blond in a nurses uniform, I'm kinda sweating and there's a stitch in my side.

"I'm looking for information on a Detective Carlin, she was brought in...uh...half an hour ago? Maybe longer, I'm not sure."

Tommy's pulling my hair out of it's French twist, the strands tickling my ear as he giggles happily. The nurse looks up, her brown eyes fluttering without much interest between me and Tommy.

"Are you family?"

Immediately I'm grinding my teeth, irritation at the woman and her bullshit making my temper simmer. How freaking hard is it to simply tell me if she's been admitted, if she's still breathing for God's sake. I had the same problem last time, with the fork incident, and I'm pretty sure I'm going to handle it the same as I did then.

"Listen here, lady, I really don't have time for this crap, I'm asking you a simple question really and seeing as you're a nurse I'm betting you're not completely stupid, so how about you just type her name in on that computer of yours and tell me if she's been admitted here."

The blond sighs and gives me the same bored, uninterested look she gave me before.

"Look, I can tell you if she's been admitted, but I can't really give you any more information unless you're related. Those are the rules and I'm just doing my job."

I roll my eyes and what little patience I've had evaporates. I so don't have the time or inclination to be dealing with this, I just want to know if Spencer's okay. So I do the only thing I can at this point.

I'm halfway down the long corridor before the imbecile nurse realizes it and I simply ignore her voice as I make my way towards the emergency room. I should have just done that to begin with, but I was trying to play nice for once. I dodge a nurse or two and make my way to the curtained row of beds, some occupied and some not, my eyes quickly darting over the faces of the patients waiting to be seen or moved. I don't spot a uniform among them, so I grab the next hassled looking nurse that comes my way, knowing she'll be too busy to actually care if I'm supposed to be here or not.

"Hey, sorry, I was looking for a policewoman that was brought in a while ago. Blond hair, blue eyes, goes by Carlin?"

The nurse bites her lip distractedly as she thinks and I actually start bouncing a little on the balls of my feet with frustration, Tommy bopping along with the motion. Finally I see the lights go on as she nods her head.

"Right, the cop with the wrist...uhm...she's over on the right, waiting on x-ray I think."

She points as she speaks and I don't bother wasting time with saying thanks, I simply tear off in that direction, half relieved to hear her say something about a wrist. Wrists aren't life threatening, so that's good, but I need to see for myself.

By the time I catch sight of Spencer leaning back on a bed with her one arm slung over her eyes, I let out a breath. Tommy pokes me in the cheek, giggling when I give him a look and proceeds to kiss me on the tip of my nose.

I'd take a moment to appreciate how sweet he is, but I can't, because just then Spencer drops her arm and as fate would have it, she meets my stare dead on.

She cringes and I know exactly what's running through her head right now, the conversation we had in the morning hours coming back to me as well.

"What the hell, Spencer?! You fuc..." I feel Tommy's weight against my side, his hand at the back of my neck playing with my hair again and swallow the curse. "You fudging promised me!"

Spencer holds up her hand and I notice that it has a slight tremor. She's looking pale and sweaty, her lips a thin line in her drawn face and I finally let my eyes rake over her, checking for any visible damage. I find it when I spot her wrist, a cold pack resting against it but not obscuring the fact that it's swollen and angry looking from me.

"Look, it wasn't my fault, okay? I just stepped into the class and this kid went crazy and then made a run for it. Turned out he had a bag full of drugs on him and I couldn't...I couldn't just do nothing!"

She's quiet for a second and then gives me a goofy smile. "Hey, I think the injection just kicked in, 'cos I'm feeling pretty damn okay right now."

I want to scream, want to go over there and shake some sense into her, but I know she probably had a very good reason for doing what she did, she always has. That and it looks like she's well on her way to flying high, so I blow out another aggravated breath and step inside the curtained enclosure, only then spotting the two quiet woman sitting on plastic chairs on the left, previously obscured from my view.

It's unmistakably Ashley Davies sitting with her head halfway between her knees, her neck bent at an awkward angle as she peers up at me. Worse than that though is that I'm a hundred percent sure that it's Kyla Woods sitting right beside her, hand slowly rubbing Ashley's back as the other lies stretched over her swollen belly.

Oh you've got to be fucking kidding me. I do not deserve this, not after having the shit scared completely out of me!

"What the hell are you doing here?!"

Spencer giggles at this point and I give her a look, somewhat sobering her up and she bites her lip wisely. Ashley just groans and drops her pale face down again, breathing in and out slowly. I fight it for as long as I can, I really do, but finally I meet Kyla's eyes. They're the exact same brown as I remember, the lashes still long and lush that frame them and I find myself swallowing almost convulsively.

I remember the way her eyes looked at me almost eight years ago, the regret and pain and absolute devastation that bled from their depths as she sat and held my hand, as she cried tears for me because I was unable to do so myself. Oh God, it's painful how clearly I can remember it all, her sweet, heady smell mingled with that of hospital disinfectant, the feel of her skin as I held her hand in my own scraped, broken knuckled one.

I had never loved her more than I had in that moment, when I'd been lying in that bed hurting in a way I wished no woman or girl would ever hurt, when I'd told her to leave despite wanting nothing more than to crawl into her warm arms and find the little comfort there could be for me.

I had also never been less able to love her then I was in that moment. I was broken back then, my body bruised and my mind shattered, and I knew that if I let her stay I would have just hurt her. I would have somehow tainted her with the filth that had infiltrated my skin, my soul. So I let go of her hand and told her it was too late, that I didn't want to hear anything she had to say. Told her I didn't care what she felt, because I didn't feel anything for her. Told her I couldn't ever feel anything for her again...

All of that flashes into my minds eye, replays over and over until I finally realize that she's not sitting next to Ashley anymore, she's actually standing in front of me. She's smiling softly, her eyes mapping out my face and then her palm is against my cheek, a thumb gently sliding across my heated skin.

"Hello, Carmen."

It's a gentle whisper, but she's standing so close that I can still feel her breath gently fan over my face, can still feel the slight heat of her body as it seems to sway only inches away from me. I shudder as I step away, as I put as much safe distance between us as I politely can.

"Hello, Kyla."

I simply stand and stare at her, at the first girl I ever loved and wonder what the hell I'm supposed to do now. Am I supposed to act like nothing ever happened between us? Like nothing that happened between us was important or left an impact? Am I supposed to play along with all the scenes out of movies or books where we meet after all this time and everything is magically fixed and we can be polite strangers?

I'm still pondering this when Spencer breaks the tense silence.

"They brought me to the hospital, well, Ash brought me to the hospital." She was quiet for a moment, her eyes glancing over to Ashley and she blushed a little. "I kinda puked in her car and then she kinda puked in her car. It was a really weird bonding experience I think."

Bonding experience, riiiiight. Remind me to never have one of those, 'kay?

"Yeah, okay, that sounds really nice." I hear a groan, probably from Ashley, but I ignore it. "Now what's happening here? Is your wrist broken? What did the doctor say?"

Spencer smiles at me, all loopy and slow, and I roll my eyes. Great, they obviously gave her something strong for the pain and now she's completely useless. Hell, at least she's alive.

"The doctor said...uhm...a lot of things. Said it was probably broken, but..."

She trailes off then, her eyes going over to Ashley's bent over form and she smiles again.

"The doctor said what exactly, Spence?"

Her eyes flutter towards me, but just as quickly flutters right back to the oblivious Ashley. I'm tempted to snap my fingers to get her attention, my nerves still on edge after the fright I had, but I hold myself in.

"The doctor just had a quick look and then gave her the pain medication and ice pack, said he'd organize for a x-ray just to make sure, but he was almost a hundred percent sure it's broken."

It was Ashley that answered, head still neatly tucked between her legs, probably fighting off nausea still, and I couldn't help smiling a little. She hadn't once spoken a word to Spencer, not even glanced at her, but she'd obviously payed attention to what the doctor said. Seems like someone was worried about Spencer...

And then I finally find my footing again, find the cool and calm I'm known for in court and give Kyla a pleasant smile. I know I can't pretend that I'm not affected by seeing her, but I'm not going to stand here and have a mental break down about it either.

"Well, I guess I owe you two a thank you for taking such good care of Spencer..so thanks. If you want to leave now that's fine, I can handle things from here."

Ashley groans and then straightens, her eyes looking at everything but Spencer.

"I can't drive in that car, not with that smell. God, I'm pretty sure just thinking about it makes me want to hurl again. I should just phone Patrice to come pick me up...us up I mean."

Kyla stiffens and rolls her eyes, her hair getting flung over her shoulder and I can't help recalling all the times she did that back in high school, back when she insulted me and walked off, only to seek me out again later and repeat the cycle. Ah, the joys of teenage sexual tension...

"Ugh, I'd rather be stuck in the puke mobile than drive in the same car as Patrice."

She said the name like she was talking about something distasteful, something that turned her stomach, her tone filled with nothing but vitriol and dislike.

"Kyla, please, stop acting like she's such a huge bitch, because we both know that's not true. You pick fights with her, it's your own fault you don't get along."

Kyla gaped like a fish and flushed with indignation, her eyes narrowing as she turned animatedly towards Ashley.

"I pick fights with her?! Me? She called me a pregnant whore-whale, she deserved the wine in the face and more! You can be glad I didn't rip her a knew one, the dirty gold digging slut..."

Ashley rolled her eyes, obviously having heard this argument before and got up, taking a careful breath and looking less pale than she was before.

"Fine, we call a cab, no big deal. As long as I get out of here soon."

There's an uncomfortable quiet and I find myself looking at Spencer, at the sadness that bloomed on her face the minute Ashley spoke those words. She's blinking slowly, her throat working as she swallows down whatever emotion it is that bubbled up upon hearing Ashley profess how much she wants out of the cubicle, out of Spencer's life...

"Wow, you really can't stand me, can you? I mean I knew...I...you really hate me so much you can't even look at me? I just want to see your face...I really like your face, you know?"

Spencer's looking so earnest, yet so completely lost that it makes me ache for her. I can see the cloudiness in her eyes, both from the medication she's on and from the old guilt and hurt that no medicine can ever take away.

Ashley for her part gives a strangled laugh, or maybe it's a sob, I don't know, because suddenly Kyla is pushing me out of the cubicle and down a hallway. I go quietly, knowing that despite it being the worst possible time for it, Spencer was going to have her talk with Ashley. The talk she probably didn't even realize she was thinking about having with her ever since that invitation came in the post. High or not, it was happening now.

It's relatively quiet in the hospital cafeteria, only a few tables occupied. We silently get watered down juice and then sit down in a corner, Tommy still blessedly quiet as he always is, simply following my lead and taking a sip of his juice.

I fight myself for a long few minutes, words forming and dying unspoken in my mind, but when Kyla sighs and rests her hand against her belly again, I can't keep quiet anymore. I need to know, the one thing I've been steadily ignoring burning me now so that I can't keep my tongue any longer.

"So...is that Aiden's baby?"

Kyla cocks an eyebrow and gives Tommy a pointed look.

"Is he yours...yours and Spencer's?"

I smile and shake my head, realizing that I'm about to have a talk of my own. Oh yeah, this was turning out to be such a fun afternoon. So much for the losers getting lucky some time...Tom Petty's a fucking liar I tell you!

- - -

Hope you liked it. Have I lost my touch with this story after so long, or should I go on?