My coffee was turning cold by the time I heard from any of them. I sat in that café for hours.
Jeff walked into the small diner, his steps didn't sway and his speech didn't slur when he spoke to me.
"I miss you." Is all he said.
"Wow, you took time out of partying to miss me? I feel so special." I scoffed as I stirred my coffee.
He sat down in front of me and put his hand on mine.
"Don't act like this, Jess." He said. The effect his voice used to have on me was gone. No chill's, no weak knees, nervous stomach, nothing. He was my drug, my heroin, and now…he's lost his effect. Just like an addict I have to move on, find a new drug.
"Don't act like what? Like you don't want to spend time with me?!" I said, straining not to raise my voice.
He sighed, "I love you."
"You love me? Oh really? Is that why you never even said 'Honey, I'm gonna go out and have a few drinks, be back later. I love you'? And that's why you tell me that every night?"
I looked up at him, I'd never seen so much pain in someone's eyes.
"I'm sorry, baby." He said, his thumb caressing the back of my hand.
"I love you too, it's why this hurt so bad. You don't understand that I'm not like you. I don't have every guy around here saying how he wants to go hang out with me. I'm just Jessica, Shannon's little sister. That's all I'll ever be known as."
Jeff sighed, "That's not true."
"Bullshit!"
"Jess, don't be so difficult…you know I want you here."
"You have a really good way of showing it." I muttered under my breath.
"I can't fucking sit there all the time and fucking obsesses over every move you make!" he yelled, raising his arms above his head.
Luckily, like Shannon, I like to yell too.
"You haven't even fucking had a civilized conversation with me in two days!" I yelled.
A waitress walked over, her hair grayed and she looked like she'd worked there since she was twenty, "Excuse me, you kids are gonna have to take it somewhere else. You're disrupting this place."
Jeff rolled his eyes and stormed out of the café. He sat down on a bench in the hotel lobby.
I sat there, my thoughts raced through everything, how I missed them, how they abandoned me, how maybe I was starting to like Phil more than Jeff…
I lifted myself from my chair and went outside. I sat down beside Jeff. I put my hand on his knee and he put his hand on mine.
I sighed, tears fought their way to my eyes, "I can't make you smile anymore."
He looked at me, then down at our hands, then back at me again. He sighed heavily, "I can't do this without you."
I never said anything, he let go of my hand and walked away.
I've never felt farther away from him.
Now in your eyes I can't find you.