CHAPTER 4

When I walked into the computer lab that day, for a moment I was convinced that Ensign Perry wasn't in there.

I walked all the way into the room, hearing the doors whir shut behind me.

It was then that I saw the red clad figure hunched up under the edge of the panel, tool in hand.

"Ensign Perry?"

She peeked her head out at me and smiled.

"Not to worry, Mr. Spock. Just a short circuit. No data was lost."

Her face disappeared once more under the metal shelf.

"I'll have it fixed in a few minutes."

It felt mildly unproper to just stand there, allowing the female to do the mechanics, but I wanted to avoid any comments that could be mistaken as sexist and also, she was the engineer out of the two of us. Therefore I merely stood, shuffling through the colorful files laying on the table.

Suddenly, there was a loud popping noise, and a large spark flashed in my peripheral vision. Susan cried out, and was jolted back by the charge, knocking her head sharply against the metal panel.

I knelt down beside her quickly, grabbing her arm and pulling her out from under the panel gently.

"Susan? Are you alright?"

Her eyes were shut in a wince and she held her other hand to her head.

"I'm fine..." she whimpered.

"Your body just recieved a substantial amount of electricity. I think you should report to sick bay."

She looked at me, eyelids heavy.

"Oh, thats rediculous, Spock. Really, I'll be fine. It mostly scared me is all."

She opened her eyes fully and moved to get up.

"I don't believe you should continue working, Ensign."

I stood and grabbed her hand, pulling her up gingerly.

"Mr. Spock, It was nothing...." She put her hand back to her head.

Her knees began to shake, and her eyelids began to close again.

She blacked out, and fell against me hard.

"Sick bay, Ensign, and that's an order."

She mumbled something inaudible.

I leaned her back into my arm that was supporting her, and slid my other arm quickly underneath her knees. Picking her up securely, I headed out of the door, to sick bay.

McCoy raised an eyebrow as I walked in, holding a partially concious Perry.

"Did you pinch her?" He asked, motioning for me to follow him over to a vacant bed.

"Negative. She recieved a small shock while repairing the computer panel." I laid her down on the bed gently. Her head lolled back and forth, and she was struggling to open her eyes.

McCoy had already whipped out his body scanner.

"I'm more concerned about her head. The charge caused substantial impact with the metal of the panel." I explained.

McCoy pocketed the scanner and gave her an injection.

"She should be alright. I'd like to keep her here overnight, though. Her heart recieved a lot of stress from that shock."

McCoy looked at me evilly.

"And really, Mr. Spock, a gentleman would have done the repairs himself." he goaded.

We looked at eachother for a moment.

"As I am off to do right now." I said, turning and exiting sick bay.

He really is irritating sometimes.

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It was nearly 3 in the morning.

I had been staring at the ceiling in my quarters in the most illogical manner for at least 3.24 hours.

I shifted onto my side.

Sleep at this point was seeming more and more distant.

I had no anxieties. My room was a very pleasant temperature. I was simply being plagued by a rare event of insomnia.

I glanced over at the digital clock. The red numbers stared blankly at me like a grinning beast.

I shifted onto my back once more.

In my mind, I solved some equations in my head, hoping to lull myself to sleep. However, the thinking involved in solving the problems merely kept me more alert.

I sat up and swung my legs over the edge of the bed.

Perhaps I was distracted.

My mind thought of Ensign Perry alone in sick bay.

I bent over and pulled on my boots.

I walked out of my quarters.

The corridor was very bare.

The only people required to be up at this hour were the team on the bridge and the team with the engine.

I walked to sick bay unnoticed.

Nurse Chapel lay napping in her quarters off the sick bay entrance. I tried my best not to disturb her as I walked into the back room, where the patients were.

Susan was the only patient in the room.

I looked at her sleeping form from across the room. Her chest rising and falling gently in her sleep.

It dawned on me that I had no logical reason for being there.

I turned to walk back out of the room.

However, my judgement got the better of me and I looked back at her once more.

She looked so different asleep.

I walked over to her bedside.

She slept on her side, with her face towards where I stood. Her hands were curled up under her chin, almost as if she were thinking. Her bangs were sticking up at odd angles, and in my minds eye I imagined the way she would plaster them back down, nervously.

I knelt down so I was level with her face.

There was no logic to this action, I simply did it.

Her expression was very serene, as most humans are as they sleep. However, even as she dozed, the very corners of her mouth turned up slightly, as if she was amused. She looked as though at any second, she would start to giggle and look up at me with her huge eyes and say, 'Whats the matter, Vulcan?'

My fingers slowly reached towards her temple.

I suddenly was fascinated by what was going on in her head. If she was really amused.

Going against my better judgement, my fingers came to rest on the side of her head.

My eyes softened.

She was dreaming.

There she was, dancing on her tip toes on a hill of red sand. It looked almost like a beach at sunset, with a hazy red sky and a big planet in the sky.

It was how she envisioned Vulcan.

I smiled. How completely wrong she was in her interpretation.

She was wrapped in a thin white dress. The fabric blew about her knees and brushed her ankles as she twirled, sending sand fluttering about her like confetti.

There was an orange and yellow flower in her hair, with a purple center.

I vaguely remembered it as the one she had worn on Beta Cassius.

She grew tired of twirling and skipped down the sand dune, her bare feet tickled as she pranced. The breeze blew her hair back. She was grinning.

In the distance, there was a figure standing under a twisted tree. The tree was laden with a strange red fruit, and the figure was also dressed in white. She ran over to him. Standing on her toes again, she kissed his cheek. He turned and looked at her.

My chest cavity felt like it was being filled with air. Everything felt light and warm.

It was me.

The dream Spock looked at her, unsmiling, and told her to stop being so nonsensical.

She only laughed and put both her hands on the side of his face.

He put his hands around her waist and smiled faintly.

He was happy.

I pulled my fingers away from Susan's face.

I knelt there, staring at her peaceful face as she continued to enjoy her dream.

The Spock that she dreamed of was still Vulcan. It wasn't a romanticized version of myself that she concocted. Her Spock still thought her jokes were irrelevant, and there she was, kissing his hair and giggling at his logic.

Her Spock was me.

I felt strangely elated.

She loved me without requirements. She loved me the way that she knew me, at this very moment, when it appeared I had no love in my body. She loved me regardless that I was a Vulcan. She loved the part of me that thought like a machine, the part that didn't feel love.

The elated feeling began to swell inside me. I felt as though I could lift planets, leap stars and shout so all the universe could hear.

I felt love.

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