My back rammed into the wall, Jeff's hands worked furiously at the hem of my shirt to pull it over my head.
"Stop." I breathed out.
"Why?"
"Just stop, please." I said as I pushed his hands away from me.
He gave me a confused look.
"I'm scared."
He sighed and put his hand on my back, "There's nothing to be scared of."
I shook my head, "Yes there is."
"You kill me." He yelled, throwing his hands in the air.
"Why?" My voice became soft and quiet like a scolded child.
"One minute you're like 'oh, I love you so much.' and the next you're like 'shut up you fag'. You're confusing me. I don't know where you're coming from. Do you love me or not?"
I nodded, tears fell down my cheeks but he never stopped. Like it was something he'd had on his mind for a long time and needed to spit it out.
"Well, trust me."
"It's easy to trust you when I'm blinded."
He sighed and sat down on the bed, "Blinded by what, baby?"
"Your hot." I said flatly.
He laughed, "That's what I've been told."
"I know, that's the point. I worry that the only reason I act like I do is because you're gorgeous and not because I love you or I love who you are. But because I love the way you look."
"Jess," He sighed.
"Jeff…I'm not giving you my virginity until I know you're the only one."
He smiled softly, "I understand. I really do."
My eyes lit up and I wrapped my arms around him.
He kissed the top of my head.
"I love you for you. Even if you don't love me." He whispered.
Something in me, at that moment told me that everything I thought I knew about love was wrong. I hate the way he says 'I love you'. I hate it. It sounds like it's plastic. Like he doesn't mean it.