Author's Notes: Hello. Thank you very much for all the reviews last chapter. It really warmed my heart. At any rate, there were questions I wanted to answer but I will put them in an notes at the end of this chapter. By the way, I think many readers had forgotten that Hashimoto first appeared in Chapter 1.

Chapter 9

--Yuuri--

It was my fault for losing Wolfram. I had been too impatient.

When I had my epiphany during my conversation with Mom, I rushed out of the house and headed straight to the arcade searching for the wisecracking, fortune telling plant. I thought it would be easy. Just ask the plant to reverse the spell or whatever it was that got me stuck in Wolfram's body, and everything would go back to normal. Or as normal as my life had ever been since getting sucked through a western-style toilet and landing in the demon kingdom.

But no, it couldn't be that easy, could it? I didn't know what gods or nefarious conspiracy had it in for me. When I got to the plant, I was high from the relief of actually finding it. To tell the truth, I had been afraid that I had dreamt the whole arcade episode with the machine and Murata and Hashimoto. Then I was afraid that they had replaced the machine with a newer, fancier, video game. Then I was afraid that the arcade had gone bankrupt and was replaced by a cosplay cafe. Then my imagination really went wild and I pictured a meteor landing on the arcade as I was about to go in. This was replaced with a scene of Godzilla stepping on the building.

What I didn't foresee was that the fortune telling machine would act exactly like a fortune telling machine and not at all like a magical plant that granted wishes. I yelled at it and pounded on the glass and... nothing. I begged and I pleaded. And I explained that it was me, that hapless kid it gave a wish to. I was lucky that it was a school day and it was during school hours and the place was empty. If not, I was sure someone would have reported to the police that a crazy foreigner was trying to beat up a video game.

I know, I said to myself. I searched my pockets for some coins and went to exchange a 500 yen coin for some 100 yen coins. I dropped one in the machine and watched the lights flash. The "See Your Future" sign lit up.

"Okay, now talk to me," I ordered.

Nothing.

I picked up the white card, it said, "Perseverance pays off."

I went rapidly through the other coins.

"To lift a heavy object, brains are more useful than brawns."

"Big jobs are not done by the work of one big person but by the hard work of many regular persons."

"Don't be a fool, stay in school."

"There are no magical solutions."

Now, it was just making fun of me. Are these some kind of screwed up Confucian sayings? Where was the one that told me I was going to marry the man of my dreams? I stuck all the cards in my pocket and I spent the next hour or so alternating between yelling at the plant, sitting on a chair while grumbling at it, pleading with it, walking back and forth in front of it and hitting my head on various objects. I decided at one point that it might be better to think with a full stomach so I went to hunt for some snacks.

I found myself in front of a pastry shop, my mouth watering at the display of cakes and tarts and all other sorts of desserts that Wolfram would love. I went in and came out an hour later with a big bag of pastries. I was still sort of confused at what exactly happened. I walked in examining the goods in the display shelves when I heard a high pitched squeal come from behind the counter. The next thing I knew I was having a strange argument with the shopkeepers regarding payment. They kept insisting that I didn't need to pay, and I kept insisting with great embarrassment that I did indeed needed to pay. In the end, I agreed to pose for pictures with various pastries as payment for the huge amount of sweets they shoved at me.

I was musing about the usefulness of Wolfram's pretty face as I sat in front of the fortune telling machine eating a piece of strawberry shortcake when the silence was broken by a rather loud 'ahem' which made me almost fall out of my seat.

"Where is my piece?" The plant was finally talking!

"All you wanted was a piece of cake?!" I asked incredulously. "If you would have just stated that in the first place, you could have saved me a lot of time and worry."

"Why should I? You're the one who forgot your promise to bring me something sweet."

A door opened and a tray slid out right below the glass. I opened a piece of apple torte and placed it and a plastic spork on the tray. The tray slid back in, the door closed and I watched the tray rise towards the plant. The plant picked up the spork with one of its leaves and it uttered a "hmmm...hmmm...hmmm". That was one happy plant. I let it enjoy every sporkful of torte while I finished mine before asking it questions.

After it literally licked the container clean, I asked, "Did you want another one?"

It nodded emphatically.

The tray slid out again and I took the empty container and replaced it with another containing a piece of chocolate cake.

I laughed when I heard it moaned an appreciative "ohhhh..." and wiggled its leaves in delight.

"So..." I started, "can you reverse whatever it is you did?"

"Sure," it replied in between bites.

"That's it? Do I just wake up tomorrow in the correct body?"

It snickered derisively. Of course, it wasn't going to be that easy. What had I been thinking?

"No, of course, it's not going to be that easy," it echoed my thoughts. You don't have to say exactly what I was thinking. "If life was that easy, we wouldn't need to try," it continued. "Anyway, undoing something is ten times more difficult than doing it in the first place. That's why you should always be careful of what you wish for."

"You tell me this now? Why didn't you say so before?"

"Your parents and cheesy movies had not taught you that? One would think someone at your age would know."

"Look, just tell me how to reverse this whatever this is."

"Bring me the other guy and then I could do my hocus pocus abracadabra thingamajig."

"Are you making fun of me?"

"Do you want to find out?"

"Not really."

It gave me a chocolate covered evil smirk.

I raced to my house to get Wolfram only to realize that he had gone to school in my place. With nothing else to do, I wore an anxious path in front of the television in the living room until my mom brought out a bunch of dresses and started sizing me up. I ran away to my bedroom as fast as I could as soon as her back was turned. After making sure the door was locked, I fell on my bed and tried taking a nap. That didn't work so I stared at the clock and watched each second pass by. Yes, I could have been doing something more useful like finding something to hide Wolfram's looks. But I was too anxious to be able to think. And I paid for it.

It was a mistake to go to my school in Wolfram's body. Super-bishonen plus high school girls could only result in one thing. Chaos. I had spied Wolfram and I had tried calling out to him. However, the crowd of relentless girls that pushed and pulled and took my picture and asked for my autograph did not part when I tried to catch up with him. I could do nothing but watch him leave with Hashimoto, the girl from the prestigious all-girls high school.

It probably would have been a better idea to wait for Murata first since he went to an all-boys school devoid of girls who would squeal at the sight of a blond-haired, emerald-eyed, foreign looking bishonen. Damn Wolfram and his good looks. It was irritating enough when I had taken him around Tokyo and I had to constantly shoo picture-obsessed girls and their cell phones. He should really be thankful that I provided that service for him. If I had picked up Murata first, he could have played bodyguard for me.

Someone up there must have still liked me though because I heard someone yelling, "Hey look it's Matsujun!" A low murmur picked up the call and there were disbelieving yet hopeful whispers of 'Matsujun' and, reluctantly, the tight crowd of bodies around me loosened. All of a sudden, I felt a hand wrap around my wrist and felt my body being pulled away. I found myself running behind Murata and I started laughing out loud.

When we turned a corner, he stopped, turned around and slammed a knit hat on my head. He handed me a pair of sunglasses.

"Shibuya, you really do know how to attract trouble, don't you?"

"Thanks, Murata, I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't come along. But guess what! I figured it out."

"I wonder if that's a first for you..."

I ignored the taunt. "First we have to go find Wolfram. Hashimoto came by and grabbed him before I could get to him."

"Your fiancé and your girlfriend hanging out together, you really do know how to attract trouble."

"She's not my girlfriend. I don't know why she says things like that."

"I wonder if your jealous prince would agree."

"Just help me find them. Where does she normally hang out? What does she like?"

"Don't you know?"

"Um... no...???"

"What does Lord von Bielefeld like?"

"Sweets. I guess we can check the pastry shops," I said thinking some more of where the blond would most likely go. "He likes to paint... but there are no museums around and he wouldn't want to check the art stores here. He prefers his bearbee paint. Perhaps the library, but he doesn't read Japanese unless the Maou is helping him out. There are no martial arts store around here so he couldn't have gone there. He could be shopping for dresses for Greta..."

"Let's check the new cosplay cafe."

"Wolfram wouldn't be interested in that. Unless they have a good selection of desserts."

"Wouldn't you think it would be Hashimoto that would be dragging him around and not the other way?"

"Oh, I see.... Then why did you ask what Wolfram liked?"

"Just making sure of something."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Wolfram was acting very odd. He was quiet and contemplative; his eyes were constantly getting that far-away look. Worst of all, he was not jealous. He should have hit me several times by now. Half my class consisted of females and he just went on what looked like, for all intents and purposes, a date with Hashimoto. I was worried. The only time Wolfram got like this was when he was possessed. But considering the fact that I was currently possessing Wolfram's body, I thought it best not to delve too deeply. Maybe, once we were back to our own selves, he would get back to normal. I couldn't believe I was actually looking forward to jealous Wolfram's domestic abuse. Well, I would take jealous Wolfram over possessed Wolfram any day.

Part of normal Wolfram came back when we got to the fortune telling machine and I explained to him what had happened.

"This?" he pointed incredulously to the strange looking talking plant. "This is the cause for all this trouble? You made a wish on an overgrown, strange-looking flower bud with big lips and sharp teeth? Tell me again, Yuuri, I think I missed it, what did you wish for?"

"Well, that doesn't matter now," I said steering him closer to the machine and away from the curious eyes of other customers. "I think what matters right now is undoing this. So let me introduce you. Wolfram, this is..." I paused, did the plant even have a name? "This is Mr. Plant. Mr. Plant, this is the guy I was telling you about."

"Ah yes, the pretty boy you're obsessed about," Mr. Plant replied.

I ignored the remark. And Wolfram clearly ignored it also.

And we waited.

And...

"Um... excuse me. Are we waiting for something?" I asked.

"Oh! You wanted me to do something!" it replied.

I wished I could break the glass and strangle... or better yet, I could go find some garden shears.

"You could have just ask instead of standing there looking stupid," it continued. "All you have to do is kiss."

"What?!!"

"In public? I can't do that. Yuuri, we'll just do it when we go home."

"Oh no, I have to see it. You see I need proof that it happened."

"Well, I'm not waiting to get home to get back in my own body, isn't there any other way?"

"Sure, there's another way."

"Great!"

"You can wait a hundred years and see if you can find another wishing plant."

"You don't have to be so sarcastic about it."

"You don't have to be so irksome about it."

"Alright already... I'm sorry Wolf, I know how you feel about public displays of affection, but..." I paused after one look at Wolfram and turned back to the plant, "Look, do we have to do it here? I mean, can't we do it somewhere more private? If all you need is proof, perhaps, we can get one witness..." I thought we could go back to the cosplay cafe and grab Murata even though that would mean facing Hashimoto again. Then it struck me, "... or we can go to that booth over there and just take a picture." Gods! Please say yes.

"Fine, but it's lips to lips not lips to cheek or cheek to lips or cheek to cheek..." then it added, "unless it's the other cheek." It snorted at its own joke.

At the very least, Wolfram had started to act like himself if the rise in temperature at the insult was any indication. Before he could find an outlet to his sudden ire, I grabbed his hand and dragged him to the photo booth. It was a misfortune that it wasn't one of those booths that you stepped inside and you were almost completely cut off from the rest of the room. No, it was one of those where the only thing that separated you and the only thing that gave you a little privacy was a flimsy curtain. It was at least better than kissing in plain sight in front of everyone. I hoped it was good enough for Mr. Prude.

Honestly, I didn't understand him at times. He was so contradictory. He refused to take his shirt off in front of a few people and then he showed up naked in my bed. This was like the cross-dressing thing.

I made sure the curtain completely closed us off before I put the money in the slot. I clicked on random choices for backgrounds and frames and whatnot. I really didn't care as long as the plant was satisfied. Once done, I explained to my companion, "Okay, as soon as I click on this button, we'll have to kiss to make sure the camera gets it. Or maybe we should start kissing before I push the button just to be on the safe side."

Wolfram still looked very hesitant, "I don't know Yuuri, this feels really really odd."

"Look, I know we're both guys and it's weird for two guys to kiss. But we've kissed at least once, right? I mean, I don't know if you can count that since you were possessed and I was tied up. But, it's not as if we don't remember how to do it.... Besides weren't you willing to even go all the way," I stopped talking because my face felt really hot.

"You imbecile, it's not that! I find it odd to be kissing my own self."

"Oh yeah..." not that I forgot, but I just wanted the whole problem put behind me. "Look, just close your eyes and we can pretend we're not kissing our own faces."

"You'd better not be pretending I'm a girl."

"No, I'll be pretending you're you with golden hair, angelic face, demon grace, eyes like the bottom of a lake, prettier than any girl and all that junk. Let's just get this over with. Don't you want to be in your own body?"

He didn't look like he was getting convinced. No help for it. I pushed the button, grabbed him and closed my eyes. I plastered my lips on his. Click!

Success! There we were Wolfram and I kissing with a bunch of sappy flowers and shoujo bubbles in the background and surrounding us.

"Hmph! It looked like I grabbed you and sexually harassed you."

Yeah, I could see that. The Wolfram in the picture was grabbing Yuuri's shoulders who looked with wide-eyed astonishment.

"It's not as if anyone is going to see this. And we both know who's who. Besides, don't you love me? I mean we're engaged so it doesn't matter who kissed who in one picture."

His face become violently red and he wouldn't meet my eyes. I must be really freaked out because I had no idea why I was mentioning those things. I was not a perfect person, but one thing I found irritating about myself and which incidentally Wolfram also found irritating was my tendency to babble nonsense when nervous. But once the words were out of my mouth, it wasn't as if I could take them back so I just left them as they were. I dragged him out of the photo machine and back to the fortune telling machine. Once there, I plastered the picture on the glass in front of the plant.

"Ohohoho!!! You're so aggressive there."

The tray in front slid out and I placed the photo on top. Once again, the tray slid back in, the doors closed and the plant picked up the picture with its leaves.

"Love the background choice. So romantic," the plant faked a sigh while holding the photo. It turned around and slid the picture in a hidden slot. It was rubbing two leaves together like hands when he turned around, "now where were we?"

"You're going to correct this mishap," I replied tonelessly.

It flashed all its pointy teeth at us. I could almost hear maniacal laughing but it didn't quite go that far. I could only hear low suppressed sniggering.

The tray slid out again and I saw two pills on it, a blue one and a red one.

"All you need to do is take those pills..."

"What is this, the Matrix?!" I mean how many movie references can this plant squeeze into this scenario?

"May-what?"

"Never mind."

"Anyway, before I was so rudely interrupted, you will each put a pill in your mouth, it doesn't matter who gets the blue one or the red one. Just place them on your tongue and then you just need to exchange. Once that's done, you'll be back in your own bodies."

"W-W-What?! Your instructions do not make sense. So we stick these in our mouths and then we take them out and exchange them?"

"No."

"Yuuri, I think he wants us to kiss again."

"W-W-What?!"

"You know kid, you're probably the most repetitive person I've ever met. I didn't really believe anybody could be so clueless."

"Why do we have to do that?"

"You don't have to."

"If we don't have to, then why are you telling us to do it?"

"I thought you wanted to get back to your own bodies."

"..." I swore the plant was trying to make my head implode.

"You don't have to do it. You can just as easily spend the rest of your lives in the wrong bodies."

"Plant," Wolfram spoke, "from what I understand, you want us to put the pills in our mouth, kiss and exchange them."

"Right."

"The change should be instantaneous, correct? Once the pills have been exchanged."

"Correct."

"What happens if two pills ended up in the same body."

"I would not recommend ending the kiss if one person had both pills."

"I see. Do we have to do it in front of you."

"No."

"Good. Come on, Yuuri, let's go home."

"Wait! What's happening?"

"And make sure to swallow," the plant called out as we exited the arcade.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I was still unsure what exactly was supposed to happen when we sat down on my bed after dinner. From what Wolfram explained, it would take a lot of skill. I moved my tongue around simulating what I was supposed to do.

"I don't know Wolf. Can we really get this done? I'd hate to mess up and we both end up in the same body. It's not as if we've done this kind of thing before."

"Speak for yourself. You're the only inexperienced one around here."

"Aw come on. Don't be like that."

"Perhaps we should turn off the lights. It's really a big turn off to be kissing myself."

"Really? But you're so pretty."

"You like kissing yourself?"

"No..." What the hell was I babbling about now? I was just so nervous about this. Kissing with just lips touching was one thing. You just press your lips on the other, no skills needed, right? Kissing with tongue involved was wholly on a different level. Not to mention that I would be doing this with a boy. And to my own body. This was not really how I pictured my first make-out session.

Wolfram heaved a big sigh of defeat, "Let's just get this over and done with. It's not as if we really have a choice. Close your eyes wimp."

He put the pill in his mouth and I copied him. I closed my eyes... and opened them again to see where he was. My face (my face!) was inches away with eyes shut tight as if Wolfram was trying to make sure no image of his face leaked into his vision. I closed my eyes quickly before I could think any further on what was happening.

I felt his lips land on mine and I opened my lips a little. I felt his tongue slide in a little. I tried not to swallow since the red pill was on my tongue. His tongue touched the tip of my tongue and nudged it upwards. I complied and I felt the blue pill slide below my tongue. I slowly took a deep breath as his tongue withdrew from my mouth. I followed his with mine past his open lips. I had my tongue stuck in another boy's mouth (who just happened to have my body)! I slowly slid the pill into his mouth.

We had decided that if it did not work the first time, we could keep trying as long as we didn't part before making sure each of us both had one pill.

Our lips parted and intense pain shot through my head. I felt like I was being pulled apart and squeezed together at the same time. I saw flashes of light so bright that everything darkened. I didn't know how long it lasted but it seemed like an eternity. I fell on the bed sweating trying to catch my breath. I opened my eyes slowly and turned my head to my companion. My perspective had changed, I felt a little disoriented. I turned the other way and found him. Golden hair hung limply on his pale face and I could see beads of sweat on his brow. He was putting quite an effort to breath normally.

I moved towards him and placed a protective arm over him. I placed my head on that spot between his neck and collarbone and I breathed his scent.

"I'm sorry, Wolf," I whispered. I felt horrible for having him go through that ordeal. And what for? Just from my careless words.

"I can't hear the Maou anymore," his voice sounded so lonely that I felt my chest go through that same pain my head just went through. "But you're here," he continued, "my Yuuri is back whole and you're by my side."

I tightened my arm around him and I felt his arms surround me. We stayed in that position for a long time, not saying anything, almost not daring to breath. We would have probably stayed like that all night if it wasn't for my brother who barged in my room and seeing us in that position started shouting that his Yuu-chan was still too young to be having sexual relations. But if I did indeed think I was ready, he could guide me through the perils of homosexual intimacy, not that he's had any experience in that particular area, mind you, he added.

I did not wait for my mom to join in in whatever crazy idea was going through Shouri's demented head, I grabbed Wolfram and dragged him to the bathroom and we jumped in the tub before Shouri could catch up.

A/N: Next chapter - the Maou achieves his goal

More Author's Notes: tl;dr (too long; don't read)

Is Hashimoto Asami really a canon character? When did she appear?: Yes, she is a canon character. She first appeared in novel 6. She met Yuuri at Murata's school's Culture Fest. She immediately declared herself Yuuri's girlfriend. Upon her demand for his phone number, he gives her Murata's phone number stating that whatever message she gives Murata would get to him.

Why hasn't wolfy gone all `i will kill you' on this chic?: Because of character development. Putting aside his manly character in the novels, Wolfram went through a lot of growth in the progress of the anime. This story definitely occurred after episode 92 (since Yuuri references the incidents in that episode). Wolfram had by this time certainly outgrown some of his personality quirks from when he first met Yuuri. For one, his place by Yuuri's side is more established, he no longer yells CHEATER! every three seconds. The worst he got in Season 3 was making terribly amusing faces when Sara held Yuuri's hand.

Now on to the novel side of things. For this fic, I took a lot of from the novels especially the main characters' personalities and way of narration since the novels are written from Yuuri's first person POV as a majority of this fanfiction is. In the novels, Wolfram is manlier than in the anime. IMHO, he is not the one-dimensional jealous loudmouth or angsty heartbroken emo many fanfics portray him to be whose first priority is getting Yuuri's love. His main obsession is making Yuuri a good king (even in the anime, this is his main obsession -- points to OVA 3 and S3's first arc). Wolfram is a very strong person who doesn't weep and cry at the drop of a hat, he may feel a little bit of insecurity especially at the beginning because he is not as good as his brothers and Gunter and is not secure on how he fits into Yuuri's life. There was a Drama CD that he states this and asks Yuuri, "Whatever happens, you'll always let me be at your side right?" and Yuuri answered (after getting all embarrassed), "yes". You can read that drama here: http :// community (dot) livejournal (dot) com / kkm_wolframfans / 133199 (dot) html. It's really cute. XD

Wedding dresses and cross-dressing: Neither boy likes cross-dressing though the anime shows Yuuri is more comfortable with it than Wolfram (I am not counting Wolfram's nightgown). There are official pictures of Wolfram in a wedding dress and there are official pictures of Yuuri in a wedding dress. In a PS2 game, Yuuri was willing to marry Wolfram but backed out because he thought they were playing an April Fool's joke on him when Celi told him he is going to wear a black wedding dress and that they will parade him through the capital. (Wolfram was going to wear a white one and yes, Celi already had the dresses made.)