Disclaimer: I don't own South Park. I also don't own the italicized lines. Those are lyrics belonging to October Project.

Author's Note: Surprise! It's out early! This takes a lot of thought and a spot of inspiration though, so I still see the process of this as being slow. This chapter practically borders on being a songfic, only I'm just using a few lyrics from different songs. Everything in italics is from a song, and here's the order (including repeats):

1) Sunday Morning, Yellow Sky – October Project
2) After the Fall – October Project
3) After the Fall – October Project
4) Funeral in His Heart – October Project
5) Funeral in His Heart – October Project
6) Funeral in His Heart – October Project
7) Funeral in His Heart – October Project
8) Deep as You Go – October Project

Graveyard

It's always something, with me. It's the way I see things differently from other people, the way I feel things differently than other people. I know what has happened; I know what's to come. The night ahead is a long uncertain dream. I know what's to come because I know that you can't know what's to come. I love how other people sit around and try to predict the future, or go so far as to say something is certain. Nothing is completely certain, ever. I learned that the hard way when I was younger. I spent my childhood telling people exactly what was going to happen. I even was believed to have psychic abilities, at one point. But none of it was true. I'm very good at manipulating the future, very good indeed. But even one such as I cannot tell you all of what the future holds in store for you. It's something that you have to figure out as you grow up. And you can't just wait for the future to come to you. Sometimes to make the future what it's supposed to be, you have to do something about it. You need to make mistakes in life to prevent yourself from making more later. Somehow, that restores my sense of faith in the world.

I'm walking around in the one place I can find solitude here. Where secrets unravel and fates intertwine. Where I can still see the ghosts of my past. The graveyard. That large headstone over there? Think of it as my hopes and dreams. The farther you run, the more you recall. How true that is, how very true. I have tried to run from my past, but the more I run, the more I remember…it silently sneaks into my mind and takes my thoughts away from me. I should be the only one to have control over my mind. But I don't, and that is another thing I have come to accept, in time. There are so many things that I've come to accept. I'm not happy with them and I never will be, but I tolerate them and their existence. Yes, I've changed. I've learned that I can't expect the whole world to obey my commands and that I couldn't just slide through life. But you can't blame a man for trying.

He had a dream
It was haunting him at night.
It would fly into his hands…
So he tried to cage it,
But he only made it fly away.

I once wished I could make the world a better place by getting rid of all the minority groups. I started with Jews and Gingers, and I moved onto others in time. I spent all my time thinking of this, and how I could carry out my plan. But when the time finally came to execute it, I couldn't. I couldn't bring myself to do it. And so not only did I bring humiliation upon myself, but I lost any hope of my dream ever coming true. Maybe it's for the better. I really don't know.

He heard a song
It was running from his mind.
It was singing from the past…
So he tried to sing it,
But he found he could not make it last.

Just the glimmer of hope from my failed attempt remained in my mind. Some might say it left me broken. But I think I may just be fixed. Every time I manage to hold onto my hope just a little longer, and everything seems better. It calls to me like nothing else does, I wonder if that was the reason I was put on this Earth to begin with. So I answer the call in spirit, begging to be set free, begging to have my true purpose be known to me. But the time fades, and I am left here once again.

He was alone
With a picture of his life,
On the outside looking in;
So he tried to change it,
But he had lost the person he had been.

I'm always alone now. I'm always left to ponder what went wrong and what happened. Being alone doesn't bother me anymore. I think I was always alone to begin with within my heart. I try to see myself as an outsider does, always. It helps me put my thoughts and actions more into perspective. But as much as I wish I could go back, I can't. No one can change the past. I can't bring back the prideful days where nothing ever went wrong. All I can do is hope for a brighter future.

The world is falling apart;
He's getting older,
And there's a funeral in his heart.

The end of the world as we know it has come. And soon another end will follow it, becoming faster and faster until we burn ourselves out on change. Nothing ever stays the same as it was. We're all growing up, little by little. All our childhood hopes and dreams are buried in the graveyard of our minds. I think they all mourn for them, each and every day. But I never waste my time to cry over spilled milk. What's done is done, and now I must plan for the future.

Sometimes I wonder if I ever had any friends to begin with. Everyone has friends, but I don't bother to hide my personality from anybody. I know that my "friends" thought me no better than shit. Admittedly, I didn't treat them well. But I never treated anyone well. I don't know how to deal with someone truly caring for me unless they have to. My mother was forced to care for me out of guilt and family bonds. My teachers were forced to care for me out of duty for the school. My "friends" were never there when I needed them. I had a tortured childhood, one that brought me to mental hospital after mental hospital, searching for what was wrong. But they could never find anything – they still can't find anything to this day. I'm quite a bit smarter than anyone likes to think. Did it ever occur to them that I fake symptoms of mental problems just to infiltrate their facility? Of course not. They're not as smart as me. But I don't mind. Stupidity helps people like me get ahead in the world, what do I have against dumb people?

The night has reached me now, and I do think it is time to sleep. It is not creepy to sleep in a cemetery. The dead are resting there already, and they're peaceful and happy where they are. There is no reason I shouldn't enjoy being able to sleep in such a peaceful a place as the graveyard. Turning, I face the nearest headstone and read the inscription.

Don't save me, don't lose me,
Don't wake me now.
You left me, you release me,
Let me drown…take me down.

Author's Note: So, what do you think? I think this came out pretty good, considering I haven't slept in twenty-four hours. I hope this chapter helps to bring you a little more into Cartman's mind. There were a lot of lyrics in here, true, but they were my inspiration and I needed them to pull this chapter together. Anyway, please review and let me know how this chapter really turned out…I hope it met your expectations.