Chapter 6: Hooky—the Petting Zoo Mayhem of Nicole

Eyes flicked open to my phone, playing a somber concerto written by Beethoven; Nicole Roland, my girlfriend, was calling me. I plucked the sliver of metal from the floor and held it to my ear.

"Yes," I answered.

I thought it was Nicole calling me.

"Hey bro," slurred Dante with what seemed to be cereal in his mouth. I could almost see the grounded mess spilling out of his mouth, the obnoxious, and mild-mannered—

"Let's get Nicky and 'Li from their house and go somewhere."

I monotoned, "School."

"Hooky."

I sighed, shuffling out of my light-blue bed to my navy blue bathroom, looking at my eye-shielding hair, lost without its usual dose of hair gel. "You called me from the kitchen, when I'm already walking around in a room a set of stairs and 5 paces away?"

"Pretty much."

I paused, then, "You're picking them up."

"No, I'm driving. We're picking them up."

"Whatever."

For the tenth time I knocked on the door, "Not again..."

I sighed, Nicole had overslept. Again. I went around back to find the little angel statue which had the spare key taped under it. I went inside quietly to see if Nicole was actually awake or not. Finding her room I carefully opened the door; she's still sleeping.

Carefully walking over to her side I observed her sleep. Her face is serene, calm. She's cute even when she's sleeping… I bent closer to her face. She smiles a bit and sighs, as I draw nearer, my face an inch from hers...

She opened her eyes suddenly and closed the space in between them, kissing me softly (and surprisingly)

"You PASSED. 8D." she announced while pulling away.

I stayed still, stunned. "…What?!" I asked in shock.

Nicole giggled, "I was hoping you remembered where I told you where the spare key was... x3 That kiss was your prize..8D"

I turned away, flushed. "I'm not stupid like you of course I would remember..." I snapped.

Nicole smiles "Uh-huh…Sure...w"

(Dante's POV)

Everyone settled into the Navigator, slightly sleepy but nonetheless ready for something other than Aegean. My babe covered herself in tattered jeans and a crimson tanktop under-layered by the hoodie I 'left over at her house'. Sure, I really yanked it off and forgot about it after she stole it from my bare hands and smuggled it in her room.

She rubbed gingerly her left eye, getting the corners where last night's unwashed mascara hid. Nicole snuggled against Vergil's 'once-in-a-blue-moon' hoodie (it read that, really, for some weird reason) in all of its mighty blue glory. Sleepily, her face wedged into the crook of my brother's neck, and anyone could see the two of them were an unusually awesome match.

"Where are we going, babe?" Keili asked absent-mindedly. I guess she didn't realize she used my word, but it sounded hot from her.

"Mmm…" Looking back at Nicole, I wondered, "Isn't your birthday coming up, Nicole? Why don't you pick?"

At first the girl was out cold (or almost), eyes slowly clamping shut, but as soon as those words jumped from my mouth, she shot up like a cannon, face beaming, voice screaming, "PETTING ZOO!!"

I think everyone was with me on this thought. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

Keili's eyebrow twitched as her neck craned to face Nicky, "Surely you'd rather go somewhere like…Six Flags?"

She howled in response, "PETTING ZOOOO!!"

"Okay, Nicole!" My brother hissed, "You're in my ear!"

"Sorry V."

"Suree…"

So I drover to the…petting zoo…a 45 minute drive past Aegean. Nicole and Vergil nodded off quite comfortably with each other 5 minutes away from Nicky's driveway; the first time I've ever seen my bro that way. Yeah, he needed a silly addition to him. Some pompous asshole with some cute silly girl that's awesome? Yeah, sold couple. Nicole's cool.

Keili's starting to warm up. After yesterday's fight, she seems to carry less stress on her.

Though, Keili liked to stare off into space a lot when she was tired. Like now, her eyes hadn't moved, blinked but three times. Scary much?

The car growled into its death-like state after I pulled out the key; the parking lot deserted.

I stared at Keili staring out the window.

"You can take yours eyes off the window now." I quipped, "I don't think it'll go anywhere if you do."

She tore her gaze from the glass, staring at me with a blank face. "Wha?"

"Nothing." I called to Vergil and Nicole, "Let's go!"

Nicole bounced out so suddenly, dragging Vergil like a snake out of the Navi. He had his cranky face on, but none of us really cared. We were hoping that the petting zoo wouldn't be boring…;

The ticket booth lady was dozing, so I laid 20 bucks—the total fee for us all—on the booth counter and entered the mini-zoo. It looked weak, though the animals were lively. Hmm.

"Ooh!" squeaked Nicole, who still dragged Vergil around in my peripheral vision. "Guinea pigs!"

Guinea pigs at a petting zoo?

That's so weak.

Keili sat on the bench next to the 'guinea pig pen', Vergil lurking near me as Nicky became enchanted by the weird things.

"Why are we here again?" he hissed in my ear.

Smiling weakly, I answered, "Nicole said a petting zoo."

"She says a lot of crazy things. You should know chaos occurs when we listen to either one of these girls."

"At least mine doesn't magically destroy something in five minutes—" I joked too soon.

Because everything was still. Neither babe in sight. Too quite…and the pigs seemed excited.

"Where's….Nicole…?" Vergil's face hollowed, as if the Apocalypse was minutes away.

Suddenly (cue horror music), the guinea pigs were ecstatic. They concentrated the area near the pen's bolted door. One large WEEEEEEEEE!! echoed through the mini-zoo before the impossible happened…

Out the rodents burst, wave upon wave, carrying a teenage girl who screamed to the world, "WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! ONWARDS MY MINIONS!!"

I pointed, scared. "There she is…"

(Keili's POV)

I had wandered around to avoid what I had figured to be my friend's plan all along—rioting in the mini-zoo. But as I wandered, a familiar face seemed to have popped up, near the baby wolves (why were they here…?!)

"Jose!?" I called to the black-haired, 5'10" boy from my old school. He was tall, lanky, but the awesomest guy friend—only one I ever truly trusted. We go wayyy back. Not as far back as me and Nicky, but we all kind of banded together.

Jose nearly jumped out of his skin, taken aback by my sudden popping up.

"Keili! Hi," flashed a cute smile as he clutched his heart. His glasses barely reflected the cloud-obscured sun above. "How are you two? I haven't seen you two in ages. How's Aegean, anyway?"

I snickered, "Aegean's fine…but Nicky…xD"

"…is up to no good." He figured, shaking his head. "In that case, I'm gonna jet—see you tomorrow at school!"

He had already taken off when I asked, "You transferred?"

Turning the corner, "Yeah, first day's tomorrow—see ya!"

Cool, I thought as I returned to the scene of mayhem. Jose's comin' to Aegean. THE TRIO IS BACK!

(Dante's POV)

"Ohh my gawdddd," I seethed in agony, hand shielding my 'entertainment system'. Damn goat rammed its horn in my groin…damn guinea pigs and their ring leader, Nicole, snakes, goats, a COW (D8), deer, geese ducks—and who puts tarantulas at a petting zoo?!

Out of the corner of my eyes, a pig carried a bucket of popcorn to Keili, who had returned to her bench, bored. How in the fuckin' world was she not getting attacked by them?!

"Thanks, homeboy Pickles," she told the pig after grabbing the popcorn.

"Oink." He waddled away.

Vergil, perched on top of the large, tall wall that used to box in the cow, growled, "How the hell did you do that?!"

Nicole smirked almost vigorously, lying on a mattress of mini-pigs, "We've been in business together for a long time. We's homies."

With her right hand fisted, she drummed it against her chest twice, then gestured 'peace' sideways—Never have I seen someone so ghetto…with a pig. Great.

Vergil and I, thought we contrast in personalities, were pretty much on the same page; hiding from 'Homeboy Pickles," his minions, the Leader Nicole. Wow…Nicole is no longer awesome! D She's trying to kill her boyfriend! AND his twin!

Panting Vergil exclaimed, "This is insane!" He leaned against the crates next to the deer pen. I clutched my knees and breathed heavily to catch breath.

"Tell me about it," I puffed. "I should've never let her choose the place."

"Told you, pompous nimrod."

"Yeah, yeah!"

The smell of bacon filled my lungs; it smelled so juicy…maybe Pickles had been killed?

All I heard was, "THIS ISN'T WHAT YOU THINK!"

Then wild squealing…

"OH MAH GAWD HIDE MEH!"

Nicole flew around the corner; Vergil had deserted me, leaving me to feel the wrath of Nicole's terror.

And she always goes for the head. I don't know how, but Nicky clung to my head as I ran for dear life from a pig that only came up to my knees.

"NICKY! GET OFF MY HEAD!" I screeched.

She only clung tighter, her legs clamped my sides, nails digging into my shoulders.

"HELL NO!" she shrieked, "YOU RUN FASTER THAN I DO!!"

In fact, my adrenaline had been pumping so hard that I…we caught up to Vergil, huffing and puffing.

"CALL THEM OFF NICOLE!"

"CAN'T! PICKLES HAS IT IN FOR ME! D8"

(Meanwhile…)

(Keili's POV)

I yawned, bored with the havoc. I've never seen Vergil and Dante panic like this, and it's been a while since Nicole's ran faster than the guinea pigs that carried her. Pickles, the piggy who led this disaster, jumped up on the bench beside me, sighing.

"Popcorn?" I held out some kernels in my left palm. He looked tired and hungry. And he willingly took it from my hand.

"TRAITOR!" Dante and Vergil cried, zooming past.

"Keiii!" Nicole whined after them.

Tossing some in my mouth, I sighed coolly. "Get over yourselves. I have popcorn."

"WHY THE HELL DO I DEAL WITH ALL YOU PEOPLE?!" Vergil's voice flew after him, as I expected Pickles to do.

Yet, looking at him you could see the treachery he engendered in his mind was really for me.

"Ohh no. Don't even…" I slid off the bench.

Bam!

(Dante's POV)

I woke up—Pickles' minions ambushed us around the cow's pen AGAIN. We were all currently strapped to chairs in the dark, nothing could be seen except for a sliver of light from the door that closed us off from escaping.

"…How do you know how to tie up people, Nicole?"

"Uhh…" It got silence until Nicole barked, "I get bored, okay V?! Is it wrong to know how a kidnapping works?! Besides, Pickles doesn't mess around1 TT.TT"

Keili yawned.

"It is if you're Nicole," snapped Vergil.

I added in that creepy twin way, "And you are."

Now, I knew Nicole was strapped in her chair behind me, but I didn't expect her to kick my chair over, make the chair crush my knees AND make me face plant in a five second time range.

"DAMMIT NICOLE!"

"Now I remember why I date her…"

Keili snickered, "She figured you needed your memory refreshed."

"Hello? Kei? I'm on the floor?" I uttered, my lips brushing the zoo-smelling floor.

"And?"

Ouch. And that's my girlfriend. "Ouch. Nevermind, then."

Everyone got quiet. Hell, I think Keili fell asleep (90 chance).

Abruptly, the door flew open, bright gray sky poison to my pupils. Pickles followed by a cow, a couple of rabbits, and three deer had burst in, ready to most likely kill us.

"Keili?" Nicole panicked, "KEILI WAKE UP!"

"OH MAH GAWD!" My scream was hoarse as a deer drew near. "NO JOKE KEI WAKE UP!"

And of course, I'm still on my face when it does drag me. And Keili didn't even stir.

"HEY! WATCH THE FACE!" I barked at the doe.

From the way Vergil had stated, 'My head hurts,' I could only assume that Nicky had magically began clinging to Verg's head.

"HE'S GOING TO KILL US!"

"I HOPE HE KILLS YOU FIRST YOU IDIOT!" I couldn't help but scream.

…

Instead of 'killing us', they cut the ropes tying us to our chairs and threw us out the petting zoo's territory. Nicole's body landed straight on my hood, lucky for her…while the rest of us felt the wrath of the asphalt. Not that anyone cared. Everyone including me cared more about leaving this strange hellhole on Earth.

"Note to EVERYONE!" I shouted hysterically, hair crazy-looking as shit, my clothes messy as I jammed myself into the driver's seat. "FUCK petting zoos; I'm NEVER listening to Nicole again—"

"Aww…" she frowned from the backseat.

"—and let's get the FUCK outta here!"

The car screech as it went 90 down the deserted road, eagerly pursuing the way to safety and home.

-end-

A/N

Ugh, I'm sorry I took forever. Especially when chibi-suke07 and I came up with this in, like, half an hour a week ago. It took forever to write out though, rather than leaving it in skit format. I thought it was hilarious as all get-out, and if you don't like it…I hope Pickles attacks YOU! Review, plz.