I'm so damned evil to these guys...

In several stories I have hinted at both Dante and Nero's past. While Nero's back-story comes full force in this one I deviated slightly with what I've always had for Dante's for the purpose of explaining his behavior as of late. Although somehow I've always had it in my mind that Dante's first time was when he was a young teen with an older woman. Dunno why, but it just felt that way to me. Which you'll see that here, but again, a much different deviation for the purpose of this story.

Regardless I still feel guilty doing these kinds of things to them, but I promise to make up for it all with love, happiness, and bad Dante jokes/pick-up lines. I love healing/comfort stories and especially these two. I'd like to consider this as the healing/comfort chapter.

So hopefully despite the obvious sadness displayed a bit through out this chapter you guys can enjoy it and come away feeling good for these two.

And if not you know where the stones are...lol Plus....

I have two shameless plugs. Firstly, READ DevilWriterN's holiday story. Seriously, it's not only hilarious the entire way through, but comes to a beautifully heart felt conclusion that had me so friggin happy I had to call her and tell her in person she'd better post it...lol So keep your eyes open for a new holiday oneshot by her. You won't regret it. :D

Secondly... You will notice there is another chapter after this, but it is not for HNM. It's a preview for a possible new...DxN fic... You'll see!

Homophobic No More

Chapter 12

They walked a ways and Nero was pretty sure he knew where Dante was taking them. On numerous occasions Nero himself had shacked up in the grubby old cabin that lay rotting in the forest while fighting demons. While the place was pretty rank, it made for great shelter from storms.

Soon Nero pushed ahead of Dante and it came into view. He unlatched the door, leaving it open for the old man.

"Better get out of your wet stuff. I'll get a fire going and we can dry out a bit." Nero said in a business like voice. He was sure as hell not going to let anything go beyond friendly banter if he could help it.

In the far corner was a dusty old mattress with the same pillow and blanket Nero had kept there when he was too tired to walk back to Fortuna. There was still some logs left in the fireplace and a small stack of wood he'd chopped himself sitting a distance from it. For the most part the space was small, with a concrete floor that was sprouting wildlife through the cracks in it, and wooden walls that wobbled and creaked slightly from the storm outside.

Dante closed the door behind him and shook his head to get some of his soaked hair out of his face.

"Woo, what a storm," he said happily as he discarded his overcoat and began pulling at the buckles at his chest and abdomen. "Think we'll catch a cold from this?"

Nero rolled his eyes and tossed off his own coat. He grabbed a hold of a long rope tucked away in a box near the back and tied it from one side of the room on nails he'd put there previous. He had actually lived in this place for close to a month while he was hunting a Fault demon that was very hard to capture since it could hide underground where Nero could not get to them.

So Nero had a ton of things inside the shack, and this version of a clothesline had been a necessity in keeping himself from smelling like dried blood after fights with other enemies during his hunt for the Faust.

He grabbed his coat and flung it over, grabbing Dante's as well to put it beside his. Nero eyed the leather distastefully, trying to imagine what wet leather would feel like with a frown. He turned to find Dante in the process of finding out just how much leather didn't like to be wet as he had trouble getting his undershirt off.

"I will never understand your love of leather old man." Nero growled as he tugged unceremoniously at his own shirt which came off a lot easier than Dante's did. He began unbuckling his pants, but stopped partway through thinking better of it.

"I look good in leather, don't I?" Dante grinned back before his head got stuck in his shirt.

"Use the zipper."

Nero walked over and pulled his shirt back down, then began undoing the zipper part of it.

"You gettin' frisky with me kid?"

"Fine, keep it on and catch your death. In fact...just DIE."

"Now that's harsh considering a few minutes ago you begged me not to." Dante mused as he undid his zipper and began peeling the shirt away. The kid grabbed it and tossed their shirts over the line before he went the dirty fireplace and used his devil arm to ignite a blue flame onto the old wood left inside. When he turned back he found Dante pushing his pants off and flushed as he turned back towards the fireplace. Whoa... Apparently Dante saw no use for underwear. Nero swallowed hard and grabbed the blanket from the mattress before throwing it at Dante.

"What about you?" Dante asked. After a second Nero turned and was partially relieved to see Dante had wrapped the blanket completely around him up to his chin. Dante did bring up a good question though... one blanket, one pillow and...two men.

"I'll be fine; my immune system is a lot stronger than yours." Nero huffed as he turned back towards the fire place. He watched the blue flame and felt the warmth it gave off beginning to seep into his damp pants. It was a welcomed feeling to the clammy cold he'd been feeling.

"Liar."

Nero jumped as he felt Dante directly behind him. Then the blanket opened and Dante pulled Nero inside from behind.

"Don't you know demons can't catch colds?" Dante asked as he nuzzled the side of Nero's cheek with his own. Dante was cold all over and it made Nero shiver.

"If we can't get colds then why the sudden hurry to get out of the rain?" Nero asked as he tried to pry Dante's arms from around his neck.

"Any excuse to get you alone and naked is good enough for me," he whispered in reply as Nero felt his one arm drop to the open fly of Nero's pants he had not fixed yet.

"Oh no you don't!" Nero growled as he pinched Dante's hand with his demonic claw before it found its intended target. Dante let out a cry of pain and Nero shrugged his arms off. "Go to bed old man."

Dante sucked on the back of his hand gingerly as he watched Nero over it. Nero zipped and buckled his pants resolutely even though they were wet and cold. This only seemed to make Dante look disappointed. Then Nero dropped onto the mattress, kicked off his boots and was thankful his socks were still dry and warm, before turning on his side to get some rest. Yes he was still cold, but if it meant giving in to Dante to be warm then he'd rather lose sleep. Nero had given into him, but Dante had broken his promise and he hated him for that.

He heard Dante shuffling as if he didn't know what to do and then suddenly Nero felt the blanket go over him. He turned to see Dante laying beside him.

"What are you--?"

"Just shut up already. You may not be able to get sick but you can be a real bitch when you don't get a good night sleep." Dante growled as he shoved the pillow behind his head.

"You bast--"

Dante grabbed Nero and pulled him to lay on his chest without a word or glance at him, startling Nero.

"Just go to sleep, I'm not going to jump you. It's either you lay with me and keep warm or I'm locking you out on the front porch."

"You wouldn't dare..."

Dante inclined his head down to give him a 'you bet your sweet ass I would' look that made Nero look down.

"You're a jerk." Nero rumbled against Dante's chest, pushing his head closer to his shoulder so he couldn't hear the thumping of the old man's heart so close to his ear.

"You make me a jerk. I haven't gotten off in 10 days..."

"Which is your own fault..."

"Last time I checked you were the one who left me."

Nero pushed himself up to sit and turned towards the fireplace.

"It's not my fault you're a pervert. If you just want some sex doll then take your business elsewhere." Nero spat as he watched the blue flames over his knees as he pulled them to his chest.

"You are such a hypocrite..." Dante groaned as he sat up behind him. "Aren't you pissed off because I haven't let you top me yet?"

"I'm pissed off because you lied to me!"

Nero quickly turned and pushed Dante down onto the dusty old mattress.

"If all I wanted was meaningless sex then I could just take you now and get it over with. My devil arm is strong enough to hold you down. But I don't want meaningless sex from you. I want a fucking connection you asshole."

Nero pushed on Dante's stomach and moved off of him to stare at the fire again.

Silence followed this tirade and Nero continued to look resolutely into the fireplace, noting with an internal growl that he was alone in the warmth and light of the fire whereas Dante lay behind him in the darkness... where it was so very cold.

"Don't you get it moron? We connected that night even if it was meaningless to you... I want to know what you felt, and show you what I felt. Until we switch you'll never know what your tenderness meant to me and I will never know how tender I can be to you. I fucking hate you for that."

Nero buried his face in his arms as the silence continued except for the crackling of the fireplace before him. It was so much worse to walk around with a sense that Dante had used him and not be able to tell him that he felt used... He'd promised him he would let him share in that moment just to get laid... Nero thought he could trust him. Maybe everyone was right about their kind. Demons weren't...

He felt the blanket come back around him as strong arms pulled him to sit against a warm chest. Nero wasn't going to fall for it twice... he was going to--

He felt the chest behind him quivering and it startled him, especially when Dante laid his chin on his shoulder, the base of it trembling slightly.

"Dante?"

"Don't look at me kid. Just let me hold you a while."

Nero turned his face back towards the fireplace and just sat not knowing what to do.

"I gotta tell you something, and if you break my balls... I'll break yours I swear it." Dante said groughly as his hold on Nero tightened. "I need to tell you about my... first time."

"I don't want to hear about--"

"Just listen."

He heard Dante sigh behind him and Nero only pursed his lips, not liking where this was headed.

"I was 14... She was 35."

"Are you bragging? Because if you are...."

Suddenly Dante pulled him back, flipping him down under him.

"Wha--"

"Shut up... please." Dante asked softly as he stared down at Nero who finally saw the real pain in his face that accompanied the tremulous tone in his voice. "I have to make you understand something and this is already hard for me as it is."

Nero blinked, went still and nodded his head.

"There was a time when I was on my own, before I was taken in by a devil hunter. I wasn't always so cocky, especially when puberty hit." Dante seemed to smirk a bit at this. "I was one confused little ass. I began picking fights with other kids just to prove something, although I never knew what. Maybe it was because of how they looked at me... how the girls looked at me with such frightened yet curious glances. It was the beginning of it all..."

"I got myself in a pretty bad fist fight. I still didn't understand that I had powers, so it was a typical human fight. I lost it of course, letting my anger take over rather than working with any finesse. Vergil would've been so ashamed of me."

Dante let go of Nero's arms and sat just beside him with a downcast face. Nero sat up to sit just at his shoulder and gently touched the elder's arm which he shrugged off.

"I was a real mess, not up to par on fast healing yet and I ran into a local lady who I'd seen around before. She took me in off the streets, gave me warm clothes, food and I really began to warm up to her. She reminded me a lot of my mom with her warm smile and gentle touch. I thought I could trust her..."

Nero's eyes widened as he took in those words, putting them together with what he'd said earlier.

"Did she... force...?"

"I was 14... I was a walking hard on. I may not have thought about it before she came on to me, but the minute she touched me I couldn't turn it off." Dante chuckled as he lowered his head to lean his cheek on his raised knee to watch Nero. "All I could think of was how comforting it was to be so close to someone and how kind she was despite the fact I didn't know what I was doing."

"I kept seeing her. Always finding my way back to her house when I was hungry or cold and in return I paid her with my body, figuring it was an even trade since I had nothing else to give her to return her kindness. But she...began asking things of me. She wanted me to let her...do things to me that I couldn't even grasp at my age. She seemed to get off on pain, something I was vaguely aware of the longer I spent with her, but what she really loved was inflicting it. I refused her for the first time and she seemed to turn on me. Calling me ungrateful and that I was just using her, and if I truly cared I would go along with it. But I didn't want to... So she held me down when I refused her again... Turns out I wasn't just some charity case she took pity on, but an easy target. She even told me that during her tirade."

Nero could see the implications there, and how much Dante hated talking about this. He could tell he didn't want to go into details on what had occurred, but he had an image in his head of a terrified boy being held down by the person he thought he could trust. It made him ill.

"I have no clue what she tried to use on me, because the second she tried pushing it in was the first time I triggered, and I managed to get away before she hurt me too badly but... I'll never forget that fear as long as I live." He seemed to tremble slightly, but he had his wits about him if only seeming to find swallowing difficult.

"I see hatred everyday, mixed with pleasure and triumph in my enemy's eyes. Beings and people who would love to tear me apart simply because of what I am. Yet I have never seen such delight, such ardent need for cruelty as I did in her eyes."

"What did she do to you?" Nero asked rhetorically, needing to say something yet knowing all too well the answer. A part of him wished he'd never had to know this, because it tore him apart deep inside to hear this confession. Dante was always so strong, so damned self assured that Nero had figured he was that way always. Yet he could almost see the shivering boy hiding in a dirty alleyway after escaping that psycho with tears rolling down his face. He glanced horrified at Dante as he tried to catch his eye. Dante only sighed and switched positions to place his chin on his knee and look at the fire. Almost unable to look the kid in the eye.

"Maybe this is the weirdest thing about you and I kid. When I told you back then that I would never do anything like those drawings implied I was dead serious because... I feared it. It was laughable, yet almost poetic how things eventually turned out. I could never do anal with my female companions, and those who asked were quickly cast aside without another word because they made me think of her. Then you kissed me with all the sincerity and innocence of a genuinely naive kid and something in me warmed. I knew the only way you and I could go about it was my greatest phobia and somehow I didn't care. When it comes to you... with me though..."

Dante took another deep breath, suppressing a shiver as he continued to watch the flickering blue flames.

"I'm afraid, kid. Pure and simple. I made that promise to you in all sincerity. It's been years since that time, and the fact I cannot feel repulsed by having sex with you felt like I had gotten over the phobia, but whenever it felt like we might go in that direction something in my stomach clenches. I lock up and can't help but hear her voice in my head. You'll like this... it only hurts for a while."

"Why the HELL didn't you tell me this before?" Nero asked angrily as he slugged Dante on the arm. Dante barely felt it.

"I've never told anyone. Not Vergil or the man who took me in. No one but you Nero."

Dante sat up straight and reached a hand out to brush Nero's hair from his face.

"I'd never let another man touch me as long as I had the will to prevent it. Somehow you are the only exception to this rule. I see a lot of me in you, and it makes me want to do right by you any way I can. I want to help you avoid my pitfalls, and carry you through things unscathed. I won't let this world dirty you the way it has me."

"Shut up..." Nero growled as he pulled Dante close and hugged him. "You think you're so dirty no one can love you? You're wrong old man. I don't care what some evil bitch did to you. She could've stripped you of everything and it would only make me work harder to make it right."

"You are so innocent kid..." Dante whispered as he stroked the back of the boys head.

"I'm not..." Nero sighed before pausing for a really long time in thought. He watched Dante closely and realized that he had made a real effort to tell him all this, and yet could still look at Nero and not know Nero's past wasn't as clean as he thought it was. "No one escapes this world unscathed Dante." Nero lifted a hand and mimicked the old man by touching his cheek as he watched him look at Nero confused. "I-I killed my mother."

Dante froze, unable to comprehend those words.

"What?"

Nero sat back in front of Dante, pushing him at arms length from him. After all, Dante should know the truth before deciding if he really wanted Nero in his life. It was the least he could do after what Dante had just given to him at cost of his own personal comfort.

"I killed her. That's why I was brought to live with Kyrie's family," he continued quietly. "She wasn't right from the start, which is why she wasn't there as I grew up having been in and out of hospitals. I don't know my exact origins, but when I was seven I was handed over to this woman and told she was my biological mother. Two years went by blissfully. I finally had a family alone with her and I never dreamed things would've ever stopped that. She got sick again though, and suddenly she would sit and stare at me without pause or even a blink. When I'd ask her what was wrong she'd glare at me. Like you don't know?"

Nero adjusted Dante's blanket to cover him absentmindedly.

"I would go out of the house and hear what a freak I was, a monster... the white haired demon they called me. When I was young she would hold me close and tell me I was her son, I was beautiful and that she loved me. During her sick time she told me I was an abomination against God, life gone horribly wrong... a mistake sent to punish her for her sins."

"What?" Dante growled angrily.

"She got it in her head I was, well, exactly what I am. A demon. Except rather than a demonic child who loved and cherished her I was sent to kill her. I was a punishment that the voices said would kill her if given the chance. I still have nightmares sometimes about a woman holding a knife over me, but I've blocked out most of the memory pretty thoroughly. I know during our struggle she fell onto the knife, severing a major artery and bleeding to death. They said it was three days before anyone found us, but I can't remember anything..."

"You didn't kill her..." Dante said gravely as he watched Nero's face carefully. "She killed herself."

"The knife was in my hand when they found me. While they always said she fell on it, I can't help but wonder..."

"Don't. Don't wonder about it."

"Why? Would it change your opinion of me from an innocent boy?" Nero asked with a mock laugh.

"It won't do any good now but to hurt you further."

"And your fear isn't hurting you now? I told you this because we're not so different. I am not a child you can protect from the world no more than I have been able to protect you. You wanted to sleep with me to right what was done to you, to be kind and gentle towards me. Why is it I can't show you that not everyone is out to hurt you?"

Dante only sighed and rubbed at his brow as if he had a sudden pain there.

"You should've told me all this sooner Dante. I won't push it, but I really wish you could've been more open with me on why you were pushing me away. It could've prevented a lot of this confusion."

Dante turned to look at him and moved to lay his head in Nero's lap. Nero allowed him to do it and idly stroked his hair with his demonic arm.

"I was ashamed... AM ashamed that I have fears, and weaknesses just like everyone else. It clashes my style."

"No." Nero said as he leaned over and kissed Dante's temple. "It makes you human."

Dante's eyes turned upward followed by his face to gaze wonderingly up at his younger companion whose face was a hairsbreadth from his own and suddenly a lot more mature than he remembered it being. He leaned up and kissed Nero's bottom lip with a slight quiver and a sigh.

"Don't go getting cute on me old man." Nero whispered down against his mouth with a smile lighting his eyes.

"You do that enough for the both of us kid." Dante responded as he lifted his hand to the back of Nero's neck and pulled him down for another kiss. Nero lightly flicked his tongue against his and seemed to grin down at him.

"You seducing me?"

"Is it working?"

"Not at all," he grinned as he kissed Dante again, reaching his free hand down to intertwine his fingers with Dante's while his other remained cupping Dante's face. He pulled back to survey Dante's lying form wrapped in the blanket. "Got room for one more in there?"

"Depends, you willing to take off those pants yet or are we both going to freeze tonight?" Dante inquired as he seemed to capture some of his radiant pervertedness. Nero smirked and leaned down to kiss him again with a sigh. Since he gave no answer, Dante reached his hands up and began fiddling with the buckle. "Lay back."

"Wait, I don't think--"

"I'm not doing anything. Just helping you out of them. You yell at me about wet leather, but wet denim is just as bad." Dante interrupted him dismissively as Nero fell back against the mattress and Dante took hold of his zipper and pulled it down.

"H-hey, wait!" Nero protested as a blush lit his cheeks, his eyes unable to meet Dante's. The elder's brow lifted because he noticed something as he went to tug the jeans off the boy. He wore a pair of now soaked black silk boxers. That wouldn't have meant much, except the initial 'D' was sewn in red on the left side.

"Hey... I have a pair just like these at-- wait a tick. Did you... steal a pair of my boxers?" Dante asked as he gazed down at Nero who's hands were over his face to hide his guilt.

"Uh huh." Nero answered truthfully.

"Well..." Dante grinned as he pulled the pants the rest of the way off Nero before pausing to look thoughtful. "Since you took them without permission, I will have to confiscate these you know."

Gleefully Dante grabbed the waistband to try and pull them off, but Nero caught on and grabbed a hold before he could pull them off.

"No!" Nero laughed as he tried desperately to keep them on.

"There will be serious repercussions for this kid, don't try to fight the justice system." Dante continued as Nero turned to try and crawl away, giving Dante the funniest view of the boy's crack as he held the kid back by them.

"L-lego." Nero breathed out through a laugh.

"I am justice!" Dante continued before jumping on the kid and pinning him face first into the mattress. He wedged the boxers free and tossed them across the room. They were both breathing heavy, laughing. "You know, this feels familiar. All we're missing are a couple yaoi drawings strewn beneath us."

Nero shifted his weight to turn onto his back to look seriously at Dante, who rolled to lean beside him propped up on his elbow. Dante pushed the hair back from Nero's face.

"Dante?"

"Hmm?"

"Would it be OK if I held you?" Nero asked going only slightly pink, it not deflecting the seriousness of his request or the look of longing in the kid's eyes. Dante smirked and lifted the kid's demonic arm up and over his head as he pressed his cheek to Nero's chest.

"Hold me all you want, but I bet you fifty bucks by the time we wake up you'll be snuggled in my arms instead." Dante said through a yawn as he nuzzled his cheek into the kids pec.

"You're on old man." Nero replied with a laugh as he pulled the covers over both of them.

Dante lifted his hand up in a fist without looking at Nero, who followed suit by lifting his own fist to bump knuckles with the elder. A silent agreement to the bet, and quite possibly reformation of their bond having become closer, and stronger at the realization they both held something much more fragile in their hands than they expected. Something a lot less demon and a lot more human than either had been willing to admit ten days ago.

Onto the preview!