Meaningful Silences 3/?
Rated: PG-13. May go up later depending on the direction the story takes.
Pairing: K/S (Although nothing explicit.)
A.N.: Takes place before and during 'The Search For Spock', May be somewhat inaccurate due to my foggy memories of the movie, but this was just banging around in my head. This is my first attempt at Star Trek fiction so any feedback is appreciated. Enjoy.
This gets AU from here on out. Although I am not too sure where to take this fic. Oh well, onto the next part.
Solidarity
Looking back over the next few weeks, Jim wasn't sure how he was able to function properly, captaining the Enterprise to Genesis. When Sarek first told him that Spock was still out there somehow, his first thought was why hadn't he been aware of it.
The bond between himself and Spock was so strong at times, that Kirk expected it to supercede death. He had been so absorbed in simply surviving through the mission and then the days that followed that he was absolutely no good to anybody. When he spoke to the Admiral shortly after his return form Sarek's, Kirk was so furious at his response that he barely kept from punching the man in the nose. He had acted like Kirk was mentally unbalanced, and after all they both had done for the Federation.
It didn't take Kirk long to decide the best plan of action was to 'borrow' the Enterprise for the reconnaissance mission. Jim was going to attempt to steal the ship himself, not wanting to involve others in an action that could be cause for a court-martial. Jim couldn't bring himself to mourn his career in Starfleet overly much, especially due to their lack of support for his latest endeavor.
How the others became aware of what he was planning, Kirk never found out, but they refused to allow him to travel to Genesis by himself. With Scotty's help the ship was in working order and gone before any of the other newer ships could stop them. Breaking McCoy out of Starfleet Medical was remarkably easy with the help of Uhura.
The trip back to Genesis was fairly uneventful, what Kirk in happier times would have called a 'milk run.' Although this time his mind was filled with worse case scenarios about what the crew would find on the surface. In the past, it would not be unusual for the crew to see the Captain walking the decks during Ships Night. With a skeleton crew manning the station, Kirk would take the time to walk the ship sometimes accompanied by his first officer.
Always, Kirk looked relaxed and at peace communing with his 'lady,' so it was with great unease that the crew noticed his habitual late-night walk-about the last few nights. His posture looking anything but at peace. Perhaps it was the lack of the Vulcan steadfastly roaming next to him, but the Captain seemed to shrink somewhat in all of the crew's eyes.
No longer was J.T. Kirk a larger that life leader, nor a miracle-worker. He was what he'd always been, but what he only let Spock and McCoy see: a charismatic, manipulative leader/warrior with the weight of the world and his failures on his shoulders. He was looking haggard and somewhat wan, although there was still a spark of life in his eyes, but the crew were all worried about seeing that light go out if Spock wasn't found alive on the surface.
Eventually it was McCoy, like always, who got to the heart of the matter. Although still a little mixed up about the Spock-voices in his head, the doctor had noticed Kirk's downslide since Spock's 'death.' That is why he found himself outside Jim's quarters at 1330 hours holding a bottle of Brandy getting ready to chime for entrance.
Hearing the door chime, Kirk shut off his viewscreen, where he had been studying the security tape of Spock's final moments trapped with the radiation. Kirk had been re-watching it looking for reason to hope that what Sarek said was true. No matter how much he wanted to convince himself however, a small part of him insisted that if Spock were alive then he, James Kirk, would know it unquestionably.
The dreams that he had been having since his first officer's death still haunted his waking hours as well. In them Kirk would talk to Spock over a game of chess in his quarters. After the third such dream, Kirk chalked it up to missing his friend and wishing he were still alive. Kirk refused even now, to acknowledge the dreams as what they were, two soul mates communicating in the only way possible for them, with their minds.
Although Kirk had known that he loved his Vulcan friend for some time, he had not realized that he was in love with him until he woke up from the first dream. That night Kirk had dreamt that Spock had come to him in his quarters and they talked of all manner of things, played chess and entered into a mind meld. Although none of those events were any different then happenings quite frequently between those two, once Kirk woke up and realized the reality of the situation and that he would never again be able to share the trivialities of his day with his beloved friend, did he acknowledge to himself the true scope of his lose.
That night was spent wracked with tears, curled up around one of Spock's jumpers. The next day and those following, Kirk managed to lock his emotions away to be dealt with at a later time, but the closer they got to their destination, the closer the fear and desperation came to the surface, so that each night it was all Kirk could do to keep from keening out his misery and despair. Even though Spock's Katra was down on Genesis somewhere, Kirk wasn't sure what condition, if any, Spock's body would be in.
His musings were interrupted again by the second beep of the door chime, and Kirk hastily closed the now blank view screen and stood up walking to the door. It opened to show a stubborn looking Bones holding a bottle of brandy. Before Kirk could invite him in, or not as the case may be, Bones pushed his way in and made himself at home. The doctor poured each of them a large tumbler of brandy, and when Jim stayed where he was, McCoy gestured for him to take a seat across from where the doctor was sitting. Kirk did so reluctantly and took a large sip of brandy to help wash his unease away, before turning his full attention to the surprisingly serious looking doctor.
"What do I owe this visit, Bones?"
"Can't I just want to have a glass of my best brandy with an old and dear friend?" Bones asked innocently. The only response was a snort. Jim raised his glass to the cantankerous country doctor in front of him and downed the rest of the alcohol in one swallow, ignoring the burning as it slid down his throat.
Rated: PG-13. May go up later depending on the direction the story takes.
Pairing: K/S (Although nothing explicit.)
A.N.: Takes place before and during 'The Search For Spock', May be somewhat inaccurate due to my foggy memories of the movie, but this was just banging around in my head. This is my first attempt at Star Trek fiction so any feedback is appreciated. Enjoy.
This gets AU from here on out. Although I am not too sure where to take this fic. Oh well, onto the next part.
Solidarity
Looking back over the next few weeks, Jim wasn't sure how he was able to function properly, captaining the Enterprise to Genesis. When Sarek first told him that Spock was still out there somehow, his first thought was why hadn't he been aware of it.
The bond between himself and Spock was so strong at times, that Kirk expected it to supercede death. He had been so absorbed in simply surviving through the mission and then the days that followed that he was absolutely no good to anybody. When he spoke to the Admiral shortly after his return form Sarek's, Kirk was so furious at his response that he barely kept from punching the man in the nose. He had acted like Kirk was mentally unbalanced, and after all they both had done for the Federation.
It didn't take Kirk long to decide the best plan of action was to 'borrow' the Enterprise for the reconnaissance mission. Jim was going to attempt to steal the ship himself, not wanting to involve others in an action that could be cause for a court-martial. Jim couldn't bring himself to mourn his career in Starfleet overly much, especially due to their lack of support for his latest endeavor.
How the others became aware of what he was planning, Kirk never found out, but they refused to allow him to travel to Genesis by himself. With Scotty's help the ship was in working order and gone before any of the other newer ships could stop them. Breaking McCoy out of Starfleet Medical was remarkably easy with the help of Uhura.
The trip back to Genesis was fairly uneventful, what Kirk in happier times would have called a 'milk run.' Although this time his mind was filled with worse case scenarios about what the crew would find on the surface. In the past, it would not be unusual for the crew to see the Captain walking the decks during Ships Night. With a skeleton crew manning the station, Kirk would take the time to walk the ship sometimes accompanied by his first officer.
Always, Kirk looked relaxed and at peace communing with his 'lady,' so it was with great unease that the crew noticed his habitual late-night walk-about the last few nights. His posture looking anything but at peace. Perhaps it was the lack of the Vulcan steadfastly roaming next to him, but the Captain seemed to shrink somewhat in all of the crew's eyes.
No longer was J.T. Kirk a larger that life leader, nor a miracle-worker. He was what he'd always been, but what he only let Spock and McCoy see: a charismatic, manipulative leader/warrior with the weight of the world and his failures on his shoulders. He was looking haggard and somewhat wan, although there was still a spark of life in his eyes, but the crew were all worried about seeing that light go out if Spock wasn't found alive on the surface.
Eventually it was McCoy, like always, who got to the heart of the matter. Although still a little mixed up about the Spock-voices in his head, the doctor had noticed Kirk's downslide since Spock's 'death.' That is why he found himself outside Jim's quarters at 1330 hours holding a bottle of Brandy getting ready to chime for entrance.
Hearing the door chime, Kirk shut off his viewscreen, where he had been studying the security tape of Spock's final moments trapped with the radiation. Kirk had been re-watching it looking for reason to hope that what Sarek said was true. No matter how much he wanted to convince himself however, a small part of him insisted that if Spock were alive then he, James Kirk, would know it unquestionably.
The dreams that he had been having since his first officer's death still haunted his waking hours as well. In them Kirk would talk to Spock over a game of chess in his quarters. After the third such dream, Kirk chalked it up to missing his friend and wishing he were still alive. Kirk refused even now, to acknowledge the dreams as what they were, two soul mates communicating in the only way possible for them, with their minds.
Although Kirk had known that he loved his Vulcan friend for some time, he had not realized that he was in love with him until he woke up from the first dream. That night Kirk had dreamt that Spock had come to him in his quarters and they talked of all manner of things, played chess and entered into a mind meld. Although none of those events were any different then happenings quite frequently between those two, once Kirk woke up and realized the reality of the situation and that he would never again be able to share the trivialities of his day with his beloved friend, did he acknowledge to himself the true scope of his lose.
That night was spent wracked with tears, curled up around one of Spock's jumpers. The next day and those following, Kirk managed to lock his emotions away to be dealt with at a later time, but the closer they got to their destination, the closer the fear and desperation came to the surface, so that each night it was all Kirk could do to keep from keening out his misery and despair. Even though Spock's Katra was down on Genesis somewhere, Kirk wasn't sure what condition, if any, Spock's body would be in.
His musings were interrupted again by the second beep of the door chime, and Kirk hastily closed the now blank view screen and stood up walking to the door. It opened to show a stubborn looking Bones holding a bottle of brandy. Before Kirk could invite him in, or not as the case may be, Bones pushed his way in and made himself at home. The doctor poured each of them a large tumbler of brandy, and when Jim stayed where he was, McCoy gestured for him to take a seat across from where the doctor was sitting. Kirk did so reluctantly and took a large sip of brandy to help wash his unease away, before turning his full attention to the surprisingly serious looking doctor.
"What do I owe this visit, Bones?"
"Can't I just want to have a glass of my best brandy with an old and dear friend?" Bones asked innocently. The only response was a snort. Jim raised his glass to the cantankerous country doctor in front of him and downed the rest of the alcohol in one swallow, ignoring the burning as it slid down his throat.