A/N: ...oo I don't know what to say about this one except that it is set when they're about 20 and Hakoda had recently married Kya.
He frowns as I find myself unable to control myself anymore, my tears flowing as he lifts a hand to cradle my cheek. His thumb gently strokes my cheek and I find myself instinctively nuzzling against the calloused hand. I want to stop crying for his sake, but I just can't.
"What's wrong?" He asks softly, though still stressing the second word out of his confusion. He sits up and pats his lap; biting my lip, I crawl into it and curl up. I can't help but feel safe and secure as his arms wrap themselves so perfectly around me.
Just moments before, we had been a tangle of limbs; two bodies pressed together in a passionate embrace, lips locked and hands exploring. I had been so lost in the heat that I can't recall exactly when he had began undressing us, though I vaguely recall helping him out of his top. It certainly wasn't the first time things had gotten so intimate between us, no. In fact, in the past couple years since we both turned sixteen, we have had several encounters that had led to more than this. But this was the first time we've had sex since he got married. At least, it would have been had I not come back to my sense when his hand slipped down my pants.
It was at that moment, that horribly timed, incredibly awkward moment that reality set in. If his wife knew about this, I can only imagine how she would feel. She was, and always had been, such a good friend to me; she even apologized to me shortly after he had proposed to her. She had known all along how deep the bond I shared with him went. She knew that I loved him…. That I still love him… That it broke my heart to see him married to another… to see him and know that he belonged to her. I think it was then in my thought process that I had started crying; when it finally sunk in that I can't have him if he belongs to another. And if I can't have him all for myself, then I can't do this. I can't kiss him, I can't hold him, I can't be intimate, I can't whisper those three words to him and listen as he repeats them to me. I can't. Not any more.
So for the last time, I look into those beautiful blue eyes that rival the ocean and I kiss him tenderly, pouring in all my love and affection into it. I grip his shoulders tightly as I pull back and stand. He wants to grab me and pull me back down; it is clearly written on his face. I tear myself away from his steady gaze as I go to gather my discarded clothing. As I straighten up, he places a hand on my shoulder. The same hand that had caught my tears earlier; it is still damp. I turn my head to glance at him over my shoulder. His expression is so hurt and confused as he tried to figure out why I was leaving; he was most likely wondering if he had done something wrong. I force myself to look away from him again; if I hadn't, I would have fallen under his spell once more.
"I'm sorry… I love you, Hakoda… but… I can't."