Disclaimer: The characters within this story all belong to Hoshino-san.
Warnings: This IS a MALE/MALE pairing, so if such things disturb you, or bother you in any way, you should stop reading.
Summary: In which the holidays are explored with the tidbits and the drama of the Kanda/Allen we all love and adore. Yaoi. This will only be updated on holidays that I recognize. Which means that if I know it, I'll probably write it if I have time, or care. Readers should mention closer holidays in reviews for faster updates.
Next Update: Next update is likely to be New Year's Day, unless other, closer holidays are introduced to me.
AN: Okay, guys... It's actually not a mistake that I didn't do Thanksgiving... Because D. Gray Man takes place, for the most part, in the European areas. I probably should've mentioned this somewhere earlier, but in Europe, Thanksgiving wasn't Thanksgiving... It was a normal day. Especially in that time period. America didn't happen until later on.
In A Year
Christmas Day
by: Kagome-reincarnation
O little child so near the tree,
The precious view you clearly see...
Adorned in white, a glistened sight;
A chilling warmth, it's nearly night.
--
Hours passed. A day. Two days. A week. A month.
Kanda was unable to bring himself to seek the smaller boy out. He wasn't sure of what it was that he'd done wrong, but he felt guilty all the same. The image of Allen's hunched shoulder's, his body becoming smaller and smaller as Lenalee escorted him away stayed with him. He couldn't stop thinking about the way she'd called him a fool and slapped him across the face. She'd scratched him with the key she'd still had in hand. At first, Kanda had been angry about it... But that quickly changed.
How? Really, it's quite simple. Kanda, being the stoic, immovable teenager that he was, simple found Lavi. And kindly asked what had been wrong with Lenalee. Okay, so it had been more like 'threatened,' but that didn't get him the answer he'd wanted. Rather, Lavi seemed a bit upset with him as well.
"Do you have any idea of what you've done?" the redheaded boy had asked him, exasperation and disappointment in his voice. Kanda was used to exasperation from the boy - but certainly not disappointment. It disturbed him.
"No. What did I do?" he retaliated, unsure of what to say or do.
"Allen."
The one word made him stop. His breathe froze in his lungs and for a moment, he stood even more still than did stone.
"What's wrong with him?" the Japanese teenager asked, breathing again, albeit a bit shakily.
"Lenalee's upset."
Kanda blinked. "What?" How had Lavi just made the jump from Allen to Lenalee?
"You hurt Allen. Avoid Lenalee." Lavi explained for him. "She will kill you. And laugh at your corpse."
The Asian simply stared at him, blankly. "What?"
Lavi simple shrugged. "Okay, so the laughing part was just me - but she'll kill you, Yuu."
Kanda twitched slightly at the use of his first name... For a moment, he debated on whether it was worth the annoyances to keep Lavi alive. In the end, unfortunately for him, he decided that inside information on Allen and Lenalee was more important.
"What did I do to Allen?" he finally asked, curious.
The Bookman-in-training only looked at him. "You really don't know?"
Kanda shook his head. "If I knew, I wouldn't be asking, would I?"
"You told him you were tired of him." Lavi finally said. "And you cut him."
Now Kanda was beyond confused. "When did I ever say that? Or do that?" He had no recollections of telling the boy he was tired of him. Nor did he remember cutting him.
"I never said anything such th-" he cut himself off, his eyes flashing.
--
Excitement grows within each eye;
A splendid match, so bright yet shy.
--
I'm tired of being stuck to you.
The statement revertebrated through his mind.
"Shit."
Lavi looked at him curiously. "I take it you did say something, then."
Kanda sighed. "I told him I was tired of being stuck to him, not that I was tired of him."
The other exorcist winced. "Kanda, I don't know if anyone told you, but telling anyone that you're tired of anything to do with them is normally an extension of saying you're tired of that person."
Kanda felt the blood in his heart freeze over. "What?!"
His strangled cry was heard several floors up, where Lenalee and Allen were lounging about Allen's room, just talking.
--
You make each wish, each secret part,
A ray with God, so fills your heart.
--
Allen started a bit.
Lenalee motioned for him to lie back. "Don't worry about it. I'm sure that idiot is up to no good."
Allen flinched the slightest bit before lying back as she'd bade him to do. While Kanda might've been caught in a web of confusion, Allen was caught up in a web of conflicting emotions. He was sure that Kanda had a reason - a good one - for being so harsh. Yet, he couldn't think of anything that he might've done that was so serious, aside from lingering in conversations a bit longer than was necessary. He sighed as he stared at the ceiling, wishing things didn't have to be so complicated.
Lenalee set her book aside, carefully placing her bookmark in the yaoi novella. "This is what you wanted, isn't it?"
Allen turned towards her, puzzled.
"I mean, in February, it was you that turned Kanda down, right?" she put the question forth in the form of a statement.
Allen nodded, but as he did so, he also remembered the event. Staring at the ceiling, he remembered how nervous Kanda had seemed, and how anxious. He wished he could've changed things. Now, after having spent time and shared living space with the older exorcist, he'd realized that Asian teen was still very much in love with him... But that had dwindled. And what was worse? His own feelings had only grown. He'd always liked Kanda, and he'd fallen in love with him when he realized that the older boy's angry exterior was just that - an exterior. He'd discovered Kanda's own inner kindness quickly enough, and now... He'd lost any chances he might've had to become part of it.
"Allen?"
The cursed boy started, a bit surprised at the sudden interruption from his musings. He turned to look the girl in the eye again.
"Why'd you turn him down?" she asked quietly. Her eyes, though a bit subdued, looked him straight in the face, and her body language gave off the impression of seriousness. No joking and no distractions would pull her from the question.
"I..." Allen was at a loss. What should he say? What could he say?
Picking up on his obvious discomfort, Lenalee nodded to him. "You can answer after you think a bit, but I'm sure there was a reason."
Immediately, Allen realized his mistake. By not claiming that he'd not loved Kanda, he'd told her that he did have feelings for the other teen, and in remaining speechless, he'd told her there was another reason. Even as he mentally cursed himself, a distant part of him wondered when he'd grown so noteful of such things.
"I don't know what you mean." he finally said, but the lie sounded flimsy even to him. Lenalee only raised a single eyebrow at him, and he sat up. Flinching slightly, he said, "I didn't want to get in his way."
Lenalee nodded at once, understanding what he meant.
"His special person, you mean?"
Allen nodded.
"He gave that up a long time ago, Allen." Lenalee told him. "He practically threw it out the window the first time he laid eyes on you."
Now, Allen was staring at her.
"What?" she demanded, a bit annoyed. "His 'special' person was you."
At this, Allen stopped. His breathe caught in his throat, and he felt the world shrinking towards him as he squeaked out an attempt at a word. Clearing his throat, he tried again: "What?"
Lenalee rolled her eyes at him. "Allen Walker, I'm saying that Yuu Kanda was looking for his important person, and that person was you."
Allen felt his head droop even as he brought his hands to his face. "Tell me you're lying," he pleaded. "Please."
Though he couldn't see it, he knew Lenalee was shaking her head as she spoke, her tone almost mournful. "Kanda was looking for someone to love, Allen - someone that he wouldn't have to worry about protecting that he knew he could rely and depend on."
"And he found that in me?" Allen was ashamed to admit that his voice cracked in the asking of the question.
Lenalee nodded, meeting his eyes.
"I-I can't!" Allen sputtered, blushing furiously. "He.. I... It doesn't make sense!"
"You're fighting this," the female exorcist said disapprovingly. "Obviously it won't make sense - you don't want to believe it."
At her sharp words, Allen stopped and let the logical part of his mind return. "Oh, god."
With full understanding in his eyes, he could feel something inside of him breaking. "This... It means that I should've just said yes when Kanda confessed, doesn't it?"
Sadly, and almost regretfully, Lenalee held his eyes as she nodded. "I'm sorry, Allen." she whispered to him.
Allen stood, needing to think. "I... I think I'm going to head to my room. I need to think."
Lenalee stood up at once, slightly alarmed. "I'll go with you," she offered.
The white-haired boy shook his head. "It's okay. I need to think alone." he told her, a small smile telling her that he didn't hold anything against her for telling him everything so late. "I won't do anything stupid."
It was with solemn eyes that Lenalee watched him go. She'd distressed Allen and she felt guilty. Yet, stronger was the sensation of lightness. She'd told him of Kanda's feelings. While she'd said nothing of her own part in the plots to get the two together, now that everything had been turned upside down - Kanda had blatantly shown he no longer desired Allen at the Halloween party - she was unsure of what she should do. Unfortunately, there was nothing that she could do. It had gotten to the point that the two people in question - Allen and Kanda - needed to sit down and talk things out with each other.
--
Your wants are small, unselfish child,
Not to be wrapped, branded or styled.
--
It was a long time before things changed - even slightly. For the next month, the two still avoided each other like the plague, never mind that they both knew they were wrong. It didn't matter. Kanda couldn't bring himself to speak with Allen, and Allen couldn't bring himself to speak to Kanda. Though the cuts from the handcuff that Kanda had so harshly yanked on had scabbed over and healed, Allen still found himself, feeling for the tiny wounds; his last connection to the man he so dearly loved.
It was lucky that so few Akuma were active during the winter months. No one wanted to freeze to death, and fewer still were able to cope with both the weather and the growing tension between the two best exorcists.
It was just after Christmas when, finally, an exasperated Komui called Lenalee and Lavi into his office, instructing them to bring Krory and Miranda.
--
A world of hope, filled full of peace,
A caring call, let love increase.
--
"This has got to stop." he told them, his eyes caught between determination and insanity. It was the look he got when he was planning the build of another machine, and the look he got when he thought someone was getting too close to Lenalee.
Miranda nodded her agreement, her tired eyes still managing to somehow stay bright. All the same, she couldn't help but ask: "What can we do?"
"Allen and Kanda haven't been speaking to each other," Lenalee said, "So that would be the first step."
"Getting them to talk?" Lavi blinked, a bit surprised. He'd thought the two were at least exchanging words in the halls or something, but to hear they'd been avoiding each other was a small shock.
"Allen has holed up in the library for the past week now, and Kanda hasn't returned from the training rooms yet." Krory interjected, knowing the information would be necessary. "The two of them will have to bathe at some point, and that time will be coming soon."
"So we'l lock them in there together." Komui decided, snapping his fingers.
"I suppose it could work." Having already meddled in their affairs, Lenalee was wary of what their actions could bring about.
"The timing must match." the time exorcist muttered. "Allen should be there before Kanda arrives, because-"
"Because if Allen sees Kanda there, he'll leave, but Kanda wouldn't be held back by that kind of thing." Lenalee exclaimed, clapping her hands together. "That's perfect!"
"Lavi, you go get Allen," Lenalee nodded to the hammer-weilding exorcist. "I'll go get Kanda."
--
Next year this child so wants to be
Back out to watch, this growing tree
What of our wants as time goes by
Will hope and peace and love climb high