Me the author: I own Twilight! Wait what are you guys doing with those straight jackets??? Stop! AHHH!! I MUST TELL THE WORLD I OWN TWILIGHT!!!!!!!! Ow...what was that poke in my arm??? I like pancakes....Flying monkeys! *get's knocked out from drugs*

Guy in a white coat that says 'Doctor James' :The truth is ladies and gentlemen that the author Cho Raven Black doesn't in fact own the series Twilight, the wonderful Steph Meyer does...so please enjoy a story written by Cho Raven Black with Steph's characters and Cho's plot. Thanks and enjoy the chapter!

A/N: Thanks to Deluded-but-sane for the idea of this chapter! I woldn't have added more to it if it weren't for you! THANKS! This chapter is dedicated to you!

ENJOY!

EmPOV

I walked into the house swinging the keys to my awesome sexy (yes sexy) jeep. I was about to yell to see if anyone was home, when I saw…it. I screamed as loud as I could, in a shrilly…um… but manly voice. There was a freaking spider in front of my face. How I despised them so. I turned around and ran at top vampire speed, (really in my opinion I don't think Edward could've beat me that time) out of the house with my hands flailing.

I got back into my jeep, shut and locked the doors. Then I rested my head on the steering wheel breathing deep and fast trying to get a hold of myself. Just then I heard a BANG! I looked up and there was a freaking HUGE spider on my windshield! "AHHHHH!!! NOOO!!! THE SPIDER'S ARE OUT TO GET ME!!!" I screamed out. Over my shouts I heard bits of broken up laughter. I looked away from the hideous creature that was trying to kill me and saw my family laughing.

Edward was holding his sides; Bella was wiping away tears; Alice and Rosalie (who I thought loved me) was wiping away fake tears; Carlisle and Esme were at least trying to contain their laughter; and lastly Jasper (who was controlled not only by himself but everyone else) was on the ground rolling, gripping his sides, he was laughing so hard at my terror.

Quickly that terror turned to anger, when I saw that Bella and Alice were only playing tricks on me. Not only did they break their promise and tell, but they were being mean about it. I was deathly scared of spiders and how mean of them to tease me for it. I finally got out of the car, slamming the door on the way out breaking the glass in the windows as I did, and stormed up to my room. With Rose yelling behind me, "Come on babe! We were just playing!" But as hard as I wanted to forgive her, I ignored her and went up to my room. I was going to pay them back, but I was going to need some help…

"What are you doing here leech?" the stupid mon…I mean good doggy said as I approached him at the Forks grocery store. He was in here buying…Twinkies? What the hell is a Twinkie? I shook my head, I didn't have time to ask. I had to fill him in quick on my plan. I had to involve the *cough* nice doggy so Alice wouldn't see this coming.

"Well, Jacob," I said his name through my teeth, I was about to put my arm around him, but then thought against it. "I'm trying to pay Alice and…," He wouldn't like it if I said Bella and I knew he hated Edward so, "Edward back for playing a trick on me,"

"And you feel the need to be by me why?"

"Well because my favorite werewolf of all time, Alice can't see your future and so I'll be needing you so she can't figure out what I'm doing," I said as sweetly as I could muster.

"And why should I help you?" I had already thought of this of course, bribe him.

"I'll give you money," I said in a sing-song voice.

"I'm not a charity case I don't want or need your money," He said, trying to make his way to the check out counter, but I was in his way. He had been eyeing it ever since I approached him.

"How about I give you a '69 Ford Mustang that you can tinker with and I'll buy you any parts you need," He stopped trying to pass me and his eyes looked away from the counter and looked at me suspiciously.

"Color?" He asked. Just then I knew that I had him.

"Red," I saw his eyes widen a bit.

"Seriously?" He asked in a disbelieving voice. I nodded.

"Deal. What are you going to do?" he asked. We headed to the counter as I filled him in on what I was thinking.

"Alice!" I yelled as I came in the house.

"Why do I smell dog?" Rose, my beautiful angel came from the right. Her nose was crinkled up like she was smelling something bad. I leaned over to kiss her, but then she turned away.

"You smell horrible. Why do you smell like a mutt?" She questioned. "I'll tell you later,"

"Whatever. I'm not going near you until you take a shower," She said.

"How about you give me a shower," I suggested, waggling my eyebrows.

She smiled, "Maybe later,"

Just then that stupid little pixie came dancing down the stairs, Jasper in tow "What's up Emmett?" She asked.

"Why do you smell like dog?" Jasper said, crinkling his nose like Rosalie did.

"Never mind that, I found this and I think it belongs to you," I held up something plastic that was shredded into little pieces.

She let out a small scream and cradled what was left of the plastic in her hands, "My credit card! Where on earth did you find this! And WHY is it shredded?"

"I found it in Jasper's room by his paper shredder," I shrugged. Her face turned from terror to pure furry, then she turned to face Jasper that had a shocked look on his face.

"Jasper Whitlock Hale! I'm going to MURDER you!" She yelled, then started to grab at his throat, he then ran up the stairs with Alice hot on his trail. I smiled at the cute little couple. Rosalie just shook her head then went out in the garage to tinker with something, as Bella and Edward came out of the living room, looking confused.

"What was that all about?" Bella asked me, looking at the stairwell, obviously wondering about Alice and Jasper.

"Nothing," I said, I started thinking about Rosalie naked. Edward looked disgusted and I knew I could do Bella in now. "But Bella I have a little something for you," I said, smirking.

"Really?" She said, looking back at me.

"Mmm hmm," I agreed. I turned around and reached back into my book bag and pulled out my jar that was going to scare Bella. I got the information of what she was deathly scared of by the best policeman Forks has ever seen. And I told Jacob that it was Edward's fear, not Bella's which he couldn't stop laughing for five minutes straight for. (It really was five minutes I clocked it)

When she saw what was in the jar, her eyes got huge and started screaming. She ran up the stairwell like she was running for her life.

Edward ran after her, after glaring at me first.

"Who's scared now?" I whispered to my new little friend, Jorge.

I looked at the little butterfly and wondered who could be scared of something that cute?

A/N: So what did y'all think? I thought it would be funny if Bella was scared of something harmless like a butterfly since she isn't scared of vampires and werewolves. That and my BFF is scared of butterflies because one 'dive bombed' her when she was on the phone and she doesn't like them anymore. lol. That's where I got the idea. Anyway.....REVIEW MY CHILDREN! REVIEW!!!!!

LUPIN OUT!

Cho Raven Black:D