Disclaimer: Stepheine Meyer owns everything.

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Chapter 4

Present-Age 20

Bella's POV

I walked to class the next day felling groggy and blurry eyed. I had barely slept through the night. I couldn't stop obsessing over what was going on with Edward. I had to know.

I walked through the door and sat in the same seat as usual and wasn't surprised when Edward arrived just as the lecture was about to begin. I tried to concentrate on what the professor was saying but I couldn't stop my eyes from drifting over to where Edward sat, slouched in his seat with a black jacket on.

After the class had ended I stayed in my seat and watched as hurriedly packed up his books and bolted through the door. He really was eager to get away from me.

I sombrely packed up my books and shuffled to the door. I walked out and my footsteps froze when I saw Edward speaking to a pretty blonde girl a bit further up the path.

The girl was smiling up at him as he spoke to her. I couldn't see his face so I didn't know if he was smiling back.

It made me feel sick to think of him giving another girl the crooked smile which used to be reserved only for me. To think of his lips touching someone else's, to think that someone else would hear the quiet moans and sweet sounds that used to be only for me. To hear him whisper I love you in his velvety voice…

I had to get away. I turned around and walked in the opposite direction trying to hold back my tears. I wasn't paying attention to where I was going because I ran straight into a girl walking the other way. She had a stack of books in her hands that went crashing to the ground.

I felt my face heat up as I knelt down to help her pick her books up "I'm so sorry…I…I wasn't watching where I was going"

"It's fine" the girl replied a bit curtly.

I straightened up and passed her the rest of her books. I glanced over my shoulder straight into a pair of familiar green eyes. Edward was looking straight at me. When he saw I was looking back he quickly looked down and then promptly walked away leaving the blonde haired girl in midsentence.

I twirled back around intending on walking away again. But I ran straight back into the girl.

"Crap" I muttered but this time, thankfully, she didn't drop her books.

She glared at me and stalked away ignoring my embarrassed apologies.

Age 15

Bella Swan had always been small for her age. During her first years at high school she felt very self conscience when other girls began to develop breasts and hips and she just stayed the same.

Bella and Edward were so incredibly comfortable around each other that when they saw the other naked they didn't even bat an eye.

During summer it was sometimes hot enough that they would go skinny dipping in a river nearby. It was pure innocence and playfulness. They would swim and play and laugh but as they got older Carlisle would tell Edward that maybe they were to old to be frolicking around in the nude but Edward would just snort at him and say he and Bella were best friends and he would never think about her like that.

Although the summer that they were fifteen this all changed. It was a hot day so they decided to go to the lake just as they always did. But it was different.

When Bella pulled off her shirt, Edward noticed she was wearing a bra. Something she hadn't needed the previous summer. When she unhooked it and pulled it off Edward couldn't help but notice the mounds that spilled out. He had never noticed her breasts before but now he couldn't help but notice how creamy and soft they looked. The nipples were pink and hard because of the slight breeze.

Bella saw Edward looking at her with an odd expression on his face.

"What?" she asked in confusion as she began pulling her pants off.

"Nothing" he said quickly and began pulling his shirt off and then his pants.

Not for the first time Bella admired his strong muscles and his lean build. For the past couple of months she had began realising how good looking her best friend was. But she knew she didn't stand a chance not when she heard about girls like Jessica and Tanya having crushes on him.

They jumped in the water and splashed around enjoying the cold water against their bodies. Edward playfully splashed water into Bella's face and she squealed and jumped at him trying to push his head under the water.

Edward laughed and struggled against her, gripping her wrists in his hands. She pushed herself against him and Edward gasped when her breasts rubbed against his chest. Bella didn't notice she just giggled and pushed against him harder, wrapping her legs around his waist and trying to use her weight to push him under the water.

She stopped though at Edward's stunned expression and then gasped when she felt something hard pressed against her.

She unwrapped her legs and accidently brushed against his hardness and he groaned. She gasped again and moved away from him.

He looked at her with an ashamed look on his face "Bella I'm so sorry I…"

"Its okay" She whispered in embarrassment "Um… do you want to go now"

He nodded and looked away felling just as embarrassed as she was.

She got out of the lake and walked towards her clothes. Edward couldn't help but to look at her firm ass as she left the lake. He felt himself get harder and he groaned again softly. What was wrong with him? This was Bella.

Bella turned around with a questioning look on her face.

"Do you mind not looking while I get out?" he asked his face pink.

Bella frowned slightly but agreed and turned around.

Once Edward was dressed and properly adjusted they started walking home.

That was the last time they went skinny dipping for awhile.

Present-Age 20

Bella's POV

Alice and Rose noticed how upset and quiet I was, so they insisted I go to a party with them that night. At first I said no, feeling like a party was the very last thing I felt like doing. But they begged and pleaded with me to go and I realised that in the future I should never underestimate the power of Alice's puppy dog eyes. I promised myself that next time she used them I'd be ready.

I couldn't remember the last time I'd been to a party. It must have been during high school.

Rose lent me one of her dresses to wear as none of my clothes were considered 'party worthy'. It was white and shorter than what I usually wore. But Alice assured me it looked good. As I looked at myself in the mirror I promised myself that I would forget all about what had happened today....all about Edward and try and have some fun.

We left our dorm at around 8 and stooped by Emmett and Jaspers room and then we all walked to the party together. It was at one of the fraternities and from what Alice and Rose had told me the parties could get pretty wild.

While we were walking Emmett made me promise that if some guy was bothering me to come and get him and he would "shove his foot up their ass". I laughed loudly at this but he looked at me and said he was completely serious. So I promised him, even pinkie swearing which made everyone laugh. I began to realise that Emmett acted just like a little kid. This made me like him even more.

The party was in full swing when we arrived. I felt a bit nervous as we walked into the big house, full of people with music blaring. I had never been good with people particularly strangers.

Alice squeezed my hand and gave me a smile "Just relax" she whispered.

I took a deep breath and tried to do as she asked. People were dancing and drinking and having fun. I followed the others as we walked across the room.

Rose handed me a drink and I sipped it. It was alcohol. I was about to ask what it was but then decided I didn't care. I took another sip and then another until it was all gone.

Alice grabbed my hand and pulled me and Rose onto the dance floor. I hadn't had much experience in dancing but I just followed Alice's moves and hoped it looked like I knew what I was doing.

After two songs Emmett and Jasper joined us and started dancing with Alice and Rose. I walked back to the drinks table, needing a break. I picked up another cup and drank it in one gulp. I picked up another one and started sipping it. I needed to relax and this was helping. My mind became fuzzy and all my worries seemed further away.

I felt someone touch my shoulder and I looked over at them. There stood the guy I had met in the coffee shop Mike? Or was it Mick?

I gave him an uninterested smile and hoped he'd go away. But he didn't seem to get the message because he just grinned back at me.

"Hey Bella!" he said enthusiastically.

"Hey" I replied looking away from him.

"So, I was hoping I'd see you again" he said moving closer to me so our shoulders were touching.

I wanted to move away but my aversion at appearing rude made me stay still.

"So did you want to come back to my room with me" he asked and my mouth dropped open slightly. Could he be any less subtle?

"Um…no" I said frowning at him slightly.

He actually looked slightly shocked; did he really think I was going to sleep with him?

"Well think about it" he said and stroked my arm in what I'm sure he thought was a sexy way but all it made me want to do was go home and scrub it until I didn't feel so dirty.

He walked away finally, but not before looking over his shoulder and giving me a creepy wink that made me shudder. Ew.

I needed another drink. I picked one up and gulped it down.

I walked back on the dance floor and danced for a few songs before getting more to drink. The more I drank the better I thought I was dancing. Huh weird.

As we were dancing to the new Britney song I started to feel hot and a bit dizzy,

"I'll be right back" I said breathlessly to Alice and stumbled towards the door.

I stumbled down the stairs, having to concentrate really hard on not falling to the ground. Maybe I had drunk too much.

I gulped in the fresh air and started to feel a bit better. I sat down on the bottom step and tried to make my head stop spinning.

I breathed deeper and was just getting my breath back when I saw something that took it away again.

Edward was strolling across the grass a couple of metres away. He had some books poking out of his bag so I assumed he had been at the library or something. He also had his earphones in so he didn't hear me when I yelled his name.

With new found courage that I could only give credit to the alcohol for finding in me. I jumped to my feet and stumbled across the grass towards him. He was going to listen to every word I had to say to him.

He didn't hear me coming but must have got to shock of his life when I slammed my fist into his shoulder.

He jumped back his face shocked and when he saw it was me I could see his face pale. He ripped his earphones out of his ears and looked at me open mouthed.

"What's wrong with me!" I screamed in his face and pounded him again this time in the chest.

He just stood there; he didn't move away or try to grab my hands or anything. I hit him again and felt the tears streaming down my face.

"Why can you barely look at me?" I asked sobbing as I struck him again "Did I mean nothing to you? You just what? Forgot about me? Forgot what we meant to each other?"

I was sobbing hysterically and felt my knees started to feel weak "Am I that forgettable?" I whispered and almost fell to the ground but two warm, familiar hands encircled my wrists and steadied me.

I couldn't see his face through my tears but I distinctively heard a sob which wasn't my own "I'm sorry" I heard him whisper and my sobs got louder as I heard the voice I had been craving for three years "Bella I cant…I just cant" he whispered and I felt my heart break again.

"Bella" I heard a high pitched voice yell and I turned my head and saw a small shape rushing towards me "Are you okay?"

I shook my head just as Emmett came rushing towards us with a murderous look on his face "Is he hurting you Bella?"

"No" I yelled hysterically, panicking at the thought of Emmett hurting Edward no matter how much he was hurting me at that moment.

Edward stared into my eyes for a moment like he wanted to say something but he just handed my hands to Alice and turned around. I started sobbing again almost hysterically and I thought I saw Edward's back shake slightly but I must have been imagining it.

Alice pulled me into a hug and I didn't see Edward walk away and I realised later that I was glad. Glad that I hadn't seen Edward walk away from me again.

Because that, would have just about killed me.

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