Chapter 13 - Recovery

Disclaimer - Tortall and its characters, etc. are the property of Tamora Pierce.

Over the next few days, Joren visited Kel often. He tried to avoid her friends, who usually visited after dinner. His own days were kept busy by his knight-master. Even though Lord Paxton didn't hold Joren accountable for his free time, Joren suspected that he knew something had happened by his cautious avoidance of Vinson and Garvey. So, he visited Kel late at night, even though she was often asleep. Her maid seemed to spend most of her time in the infirmary as well, sewing quietly by Kel's bedside. They rarely spoke to one another, even after the maid seemed to grow accustomed to his presence. Sometimes she would fall asleep in her chair, her sewing in her lap.

Despite the blanket of snow surrounding the city, Lord Paxton had decided that the two of them would ride north to investigate the troubles at the border. Joren packed, then went to the healer's wing to say goodbye, but Kel was asleep. Not wanting to disturb her, he gave her a soft kiss and handed her maid a small package. Her name is Lalasa, he reminded himself. Remembering her name shouldn't be important, but it was. Just as when he looked at her sewing, so innocent and peaceful, a part of him nagged at him to not hurt her, to find another way to get rid of Kel. Lalasa smiled at him as she took the package and wished him a safe journey. He gave a small nod and left. As he turned away, he knew in his heart that he could not kidnap Lalasa to make Kel fail. It was wrong. Joren could not see why it was wrong or how he had come to realisation; only that it was true. He would have to find another way.

Kel walked back to her room with the aid of Neal and Lalasa. Duke Baird had finally let her leave the healer's wing, but not before lecturing her on the importance of building up her strength slowly. After settling Kel in her room and a visit from the other pages and squires, Lalasa handed Kel a small package. "It's from Joren," she said.

Opening the package, she saw a small gold chain with a pendant and a note. Unfolding the small parchment, she read the note and refolded it, fingering the chain. After a moment, she put the chain on and slipped it under her tunic.

The months passed and winter turned to spring. As the snow melted, more knights and squires came north. Joren had learned a lot over the past months, but was more than ready to go back to Corus and a warm bed. When he was alone and had no lessons, he thought of Kel. He would wonder why he gave her the charm, how to get rid of her, and how she was faring. When Joren had written to Zahir, telling him of the change in plans, Zahir had written back, telling him that he had obviously come to care for Kel, and even added how she was faring. Joren had scoffed at the letter thinking the Bazhir's brain had gone numb in the cold of Corus. Yet, an odd sort of calm washed over him when he read how Kel's condition had improved. Vinson had arrived the next day, yet neither had spoken to the other over the course of time.

Later in the spring, Joren had just finished writing another letter to Zahir when the door to his room opened. "Vinson," he stated, hiding his surprise.

"I came to tell you that the Lump won't finish her page training." Joren had a sinking feeling he knew what he was going to say next. "Your plan to get rid of her is flawless, and since you were too cowardly to make the arrangements before you left, I took the liberty of implementing them," Vinson declared smugly.

"It won't work. She will take the tests, somehow. I've given up," he said calmly.

"Liar!" exclaimed Vinson. You've changed. After that kiss in the stables, you were different. Just a little bit. Zahir even agreed, but the two of you have been keeping secrets from us. He knows more than he has told us. After coming back from Cavall, you were all quiet and told us to let the Lump be, and then after the fight-"

"Fight?" Joren said in disbelief. "That wasn't a fight Vinson. You mauled her while she was helpless. You did the same thing that knights are supposed to protect others from, which is also why I didn't go through with the plan. It's wrong."

"She's a worthless whore, it doesn't matter what happens to her. You've softened towards the Lump, Joren. I still don't understand. Was she that good a kisser? Or did she take you to bed to sway you?" Seeing the change of expression in Joren's face, he continued, "she did, didn't she? The whore. She couldn't be that good in bed Joren, that you would-" Vinson was cut off by the sudden impact of Joren's fist upon his face.

"How dare you?" Joren said softly, his eyes glittering dangerously. "Get out." Vinson didn't move. "Get out!" he roared, watching as Vinson scrambled to leave the room. Slamming the door, he held his head in his hands as he leant back against the door.

Lord Paxton and Joren headed back to Corus towards the end of summer. As they reached Corus, he learned that Kel was a squire, to Lord Raoul of Goldenlake no less. The plan had failed and there was to be a trial, Vinson having been discovered on his return to Corus.

A week later, Joren had visited the maid, Lalasa, at her shop. A nagging feeling which he recognised as guilt seemed to plague him, as if it were he who was responsible for what had happened. And on some level maybe he was, but he refused to acknowledge that thought. Lalasa was far less timid than before, he noticed, as she greeted him in the busy shop. Joren didn't stay long, having no desire to be near the fuss and girlishness that filled the store. His guilt was assuaged for the time being, so he headed back to the palace.

A/N - Thanks to everyone who has reviewed and poked me to remind me to update. I'm trying to be more active in Tammy fandom, so the next chapter will be up as soon as practicable. And a big thank you to Shelly for betaing this chapter for me. Also, I am looking for a new beta, if you're interested, PM/email/etc and let me know. Please review! :)